Tuesday, April 1, 2008

We’ve lost our lease! We’re selling to the bare walls! No reasonable offer refused!

Good news, everyone! We sold so much stuff at the yard/garage sale this weekend that we were able to pay off all our debts and the mortgage, which means we’ll be able to stay in Savannah for the rest of our days.

Yeah, you got it…April Fool’s.

The moving sale was not the success we had hoped for, unfortunately. This could be due to any number of factors, but I think Factor Numero Uno might be that my father scheduled the sale at the same time as the big junque (junk) sale being sponsored by the Savannah Morning Snooze…er, News. Kind of hard to compete with that, particularly since that sale got talked about a lot in the paper…which I’m sure was just a coincidence.

Sister Kat had a garage sale in Athens the same day and made out like a bandit—sold $500 worth of stuff. So either she had a better class of crap to hawk or a better class of clientele. She told Dad that she promoted the sale on Craigslist, which prompted my mother to confront me with “Why didn’t you think of that?” I told her that I had heard too many anecdotes about people using the non-commercial classified ad service to rob people and that I would be concerned if I came home and found both of them tied to a chair; the house having been looted. “If they took half of that stuff that’s out there,” my father retorted, “I could handle being tied to a chair for a while.”

Now, I know in the past that I’ve often joked on this blog about how I have a tendency not to throw things out, cementing my status as one of the world’s biggest packrats. But, folks—I’m an amateur compared to the old man. My mother comes back one day from having gone to the storage area that my father rents each month, and she can do nothing but shake her head. “He’s got two storage area filled to the rafters with crap,” she wails. “We’re never getting out of here.” Her current fantasy is to back up one of those huge trucks with the trash bins to the edge of the garage and start shoveling the stuff in with a pitchfork…and I wouldn’t completely dismiss something like this as never happening.

Longtime TDOY supporter/reader Philip Schweier made a cameo appearance at the moving sale earlier Saturday morning; we gabbed a bit about sundry topics and Philip got to see my father’s non-existent organizational skills in action (proving the acorn doesn't fall too far from the tree). But other than that, it was mostly an exercise in watching people walk up the driveway, stare at the crap Dad was trying to unload…and walk back down again. Then you have the individuals who ask about the stuff we have inside (we're trying to get rid of things like a sewing machine, entertainment center, etc.) just as an excuse to see what's inside (nosy parkers...) I think things may be a little different for the old man once we move to Athens…but as to how we’re going to get a garage full of stuff (not to mention the two storage areas) transported up in that direction is a post for another day.

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