I don’t subscribe to the Daily Beast’s e-mail alerts because I agree with the website’s politics. I just like to be better informed about the important issues of the day, like this article that ranks the forty healthiest hamburgers across the U.S.A.
Wait for it…
Yes, you read that right. Healthy hamburgers. Look, I’ve never claimed to be the poster child for good eating habits—but even I know that hamburgers are not designed to be healthy. This makes about as much sense as listing the forty healthiest donuts, or the forty healthiest food items that have been deep-fried and served up at county fairs.
So, anyway—while I’m checking out this countdown of diet burgers, I run across two articles of a highly political nature (yes, I’m about to go off on a rant here so you might want to go out to the lobby for a smoke until this blows over)…one with this particularly earth-shattering headline:
GOP's Ken Mehlman: I'm Gay
Nooooo!!! Get outta town, you nutball!
Ken Mehlman, the campaign manager for President George W. Bush’s reelection bid in 2004 and the former chairman of the Republican National Committee, confirmed Wednesday that he is gay. Mehlman said he had only recently arrived at this conclusion himself and had just told family members and associates.
As Pam is often fond of saying: “He had news for himself.” (As I am fond of observing: “In other late breaking news…water is wet.”)
Mehlman is now the most powerful Republican in history to admit being gay, and has long been subject to rumors and innuendo about his personal life. “It’s taken me 43 years to get comfortable with this part of my life,” he said, while acknowledging that had he managed to come out of the closet sooner he may have stopped his party’s shift away from gay marriage.
Ken seems to be preoccupied with the notion that he’s the gay Oskar Schindler; that he and he alone could have changed the minds of Republicans if he had only come out of the closer sooner and if he only could have sold his car and more of his jewelry. (“I could have gotten one more person...and I didn't! And I...I didn't!”) But I think that would be as likely to happen as my parents taking up skydiving next week. I’m glad Mehlman has found his voice on this issue, and I support his courageous stance (though the cynic in me knows there’s plenty more higher-ups in the party who could follow in his footsteps but lack his intestinal fortitude) even though continuing his fealty to the GOP strikes me as the yardstick by which self-loathing is measured. I can certainly understand the concept of gays and lesbians being conservative in their politics—arguing in favor of limited government, a strong military and all the other tropes. But what continues to stupefy me is how anyone who’s gay also has no problem being affiliated with the GOP—a party that for all intents and purposes has put a sign up behind the bar that reads “We don’t serve your kind.” (As my sister Kat has joked in the past, the motto of Log Cabin Republicans should be “We hate ourselves!”)
But enough of Mr. Mehlman—let us now turn our attention to young Meghan “Sour Grapes” McCain, who has been allowed to eat up a bit of bandwidth with a prize-winning essay entitled “The Right Guy Won in Arizona.” (Really? I had read her father won that primary…)
Of the events that I witnessed during the race both locally and in the media, the most telling thing of all is just how much of a threat my father’s presence in the Senate still remains. My father hasn't changed. The media bias has. Many politicians and media pundits are clearly aware of his continued power and influence and would have loved nothing more than to see his long, accomplished career end during this election cycle.
“My father hasn’t changed.” Looks like a quick trip in the WABAC machine is in order, Mr. Peabody…
If my 2000 GOP Presidential Primary opponent, who eked out a victory in South Carolina by trashing my family and my good name, asked me to support him in 2004, I would have told him to perform an impossible sexual act and to do likewise with the horse on which he rode. As for media bias—well, Meg, that’s been there from the very beginning…with the chattering classes dubbing your old man a “maverick” despite the fact that he’s been a crass political opportunist his entire life.
As a Georgian, I didn’t have a dog in the McCain-Hayworth fight—but I pity those residents from the Grand Canyon State who had to choose between a rattlesnake and a rabid dog. It’s only natural for you to want to defend your old man, and I respect that. Now stop whining. Have a piece of cake!