Thrilling Days of Yesteryear: Almost the Truth—The Lawyer's Cut

Saturday, June 30, 2012

The Green Hornet – Chapter 6: Highways of Peril



OUR STORY SO FARBritt Reid (Gordon Jones) trails the theft of his own car to the Meadows Garage.  Axford (Wade Boteler) follows one of Meadows’ mechanics to a junkyard, where he and Reid narrowly escape death when the racketeers discover who they are.  Meadows (Clyde Dilson), realizing Reid is hot on the trail of his stolen car, orders it destroyed with a time bomb.  Before the bomb explodes, The Green Hornet confronts Meadows and terrifies him into a confession.  The racketeers discover and attack the Hornet.  Kato (Keye Luke) helps The Hornet knock out Meadows and overcome the racketeers, but…


…also helps his boss put the unconscious body of Meadows into the same vehicle that contains the time bomb.  While we certainly don’t need to listen to a physics lecture as to what results when you stash someone in a car rigged to explode…


…I’d like to know how an explosion like that yields no other collateral damage than sending Reid and henchman Pete (John Kelly) to the floor on their respective fannies.  Okay, it does render Kato slightly unconscious…but someone in the bad guys’ organization needs to start ordering a better make of time bomb.


The explosion attracts the attention of a pair of uniformed cops in the vicinity, so they go racing to the garage to investigate…just about the time The Hornet has gotten to his feet to see if Kato is all right.  The cops have the siren going full blast, but the funny thing is G.H. doesn’t react to the siren until about 10-12 seconds after it starts blaring.  (Maybe he still had that ringing in his ears.)  He places the still-unconscious Kato in the trunk of the one car left standing and then ducks out of sight when the cops arrive.

FIRST COP: This is the place, all right…
SECOND COP: Look!  There was someone in this car…
FIRST COP (after looking around a bit, he finds a license plate on the ground): Say!  This is Britt Reid’s car…that was reported stolen!
SECOND COP: That’s right…a stolen car and a homicide…say, we’ve stumbled onto something big!

Bright boy.  Very bright boy.

SECOND COP: I wonder if there’s a phone in this place…there must be one in that office over there… (First Cop runs toward the office) You call headquarters!

“If the phone on the desk doesn’t work, try the one hidden behind the calendar on that wall over there.”  Well, while the constabulary is figuring out how to handle this “something big,” henchman Pete once again practices those patented self-preservation skills that have allowed him to stick around for six chapters by…yes, you guessed it—running like a freaking rabbit.  Unfortunately, the car’s he’s stolen is the one with Kato in the trunk, so after the cops fire a few rounds at the fleeing vehicle the Hornet rushes out to where the Black Beauty is parked and starts to pursue Pete with that annoying bee buzzing noise coming from his motor.  (I’m surprised he can operate the thing, given that Kato usually does the driving.)  First Cop tells his partner: “Get after that car!  I’ll take care of things around here!”


The Hornet finally catches up to Pete and cuts his vehicle off from going any further down-the-street maneuvering, so Pete abandons the car and runs like panty hose, hoping G.H. won’t catch up to him.  No, the Hornet has other things on his mind: he opens the trunk of the car to collect Kato, and then as the sirens continue in the distance, he puts his valet in the Black Beauty and escapes from the police in the nick of time.  “He’s gone,” one cop observes, “like a spook.  I never seen a car move so fast!”


Here’s how fast that car can move: there’s a shot of it traveling down another street, and then before a dissolve to a scene of Reid administering to Kato, we see it again—almost like an “echo” effect.



KATO (coming to): You all right, Mr. Britt?
REID (smiling): Fit as a fiddle, Kato…how about you?
KATO: I do not think I’m going to join my ancestors just yet, Mr. Britt…
REID: Oh, you’ll be all right…

Yeah…walk it off, ya crybaby.  The next morning, several members of Rackets R Us have gathered together in the office of Curtis Monroe (Cy Kendall), the nominal head of the crime syndicate that plagues this fair city…though even he has to answer to a mysterious boss known only as…The Chief.

MONROE: You’ve been called here to receive a message of special importance from The Chief himself… (Switching on the intercom) We’re ready to hear you, sir…


CHIEF: As a result of The Green Hornet’s operations, our stolen car organization is smashed…fortunately for us, Meadows won’t ever talk

Not unless somebody breaks out the Ouija board.

CHIEF: …the toll taken by The Green Hornet is mounting…his interference in our affairs has cost us hundreds of thousands…he must be removed without delay…as an incentive toward this end, I’ve authorized Monroe to pay one hundred thousand dollars to the man who puts an end to The Green Hornet’s career…

Switching off the intercom, Monroe dismisses the attendees with a curt “That’s all, gentlemen…”  As the men start to leave, the weaselly thug (Arthur Loft) known as Joe Ogden addresses Monroe:

OGDEN: Why wasn’t Rockford at this meeting?

Please note I have resisted the temptation to make a James Garner joke here.

MONROE: He was busy moving the headquarters of the Blue Streak Bus Lines out to the old Mortinson place…
OGDEN: Oh, I see—getting ready to give the Whippet Line buses the works, huh?
MONROE: That’s the reason he moved out there…it’s near their repair garage…

“The Mortinson place” was introduced in Chapter 1 of this serial as the stately home of crooked Martin Mortinson (Douglas Evans), one of the first members of the syndicate to be rounded up by His Hornetness.  One might posit that it would be a bad idea to relocate a criminal enterprise in the former location of another criminal enterprise…but when one is dealing with the shoestring budget of a cliffhanger serial, these concerns quickly dissipate like dandelions in a stiff wind.  At the new home of the Blue Streak Bus Line, owner Rocky Rockford (mustnotmakeRockford Files…joke) is giving instructions to the All-American hoodlum duo of Dean (Walter McGrail) and Corey (Gene Rizzi).  Rocky is not played by Noah Beery, Jr. in this serial, but by veteran character thesp George Lloyd, who was in tons of B-pics and westerns…but occasionally got work in “A” films like A Slight Case of Murder and City for Conquest (he was also billed as “George H. Lloyd”):

ROCKFORD: …now the Whippet Bus Lines franchise is up for renewal at the end of the month…
DEAN: And if it shouldn’t be renewed?
ROCKFORD: The Blue Streak Bus Lines would have no competition, Dean…
DEAN: I get ya, Rocky…
ROCKFORD: Now…if you two could get jobs as mechanics in the Whippet garage…
COREY: It’s in the bag, boss…

“I’m sleeping with someone in H.R.”

COREY: Something tells me from now on the Whippet service is going to be terrible
DEAN: Mm-hmm…so long!
ROCKFORD: See ya later!

We are then whisked to the offices of The Daily Sentinel, where publisher Britt Reid has just arrived to do his nine-to-five.  He’s stopped from entering his office by his loyal secretary, Lenore “Casey” Case (Anne Nagel), who informs him that editor Gunnigan (Joe Whitehead) wants to see him, and that’s he’s bringing a guest—the president of the Whippet Bus Lines company, Mr. West.  “Send him right up,” Reid tells Casey.


If you think this “West” guy looks like a banker out in Beverly Hills…you are correct, good people.  It’s Raymond “Milton Drysdale” Bailey in a small role with a large concern about the future of his company.

WEST: After twelve years, the Whippet Bus Lines has maintained an enviable record of service and safety…
REID: Well, perhaps your employees are coasting along on that record, Mr. West…just getting careless…

“Or perhaps you need a new ad campaign.  My suggestion for a slogan: Whippet Good…”

WEST: That’s not it…I believe the Blue Streak Bus Lines want us to lose our franchise so they won’t have any competition…
REID: Surely you can’t blame them for accidents to your lines…the Blue Streak company is an old established firm, too…
WEST: Now it may only be a coincidence…but the fact remains, our trouble dates from the time the Blue Streak company changed managements six months ago…

“You’re right…it probably is a coincidence.  Good day, Mr. West.”

REID: What do you want me to do?
WEST: I’d like to see The Sentinel do something about the matter…
REID: Sorry, Mr. West…The Sentinel has never interfered with squabbles between competitors…
WEST (getting up from his chair): I’m sorry you feel that way about it, Mr. Reid…

As West as exiting Reid’s office, he runs into the lovably comic Irish sidekick of the serial, Michael Axford, who does an amusing stagger as he tries to avoid colliding with the departing (and angry) West.


AXFORD: Reid…I’ve just made an important discovery…
REID: Don’t tell me you’ve solved perpetual motion!
AXFORD: Yes, sir!  And I… (Collecting his thoughts) No…no…it’s about the old Mortinson place out on the Westwood Pike…
REID: Is it haunted?
AXFORD: It’s open again…and it’s bein’ used as headquarters by the Blue Streak Bus Lines…
REID: Well…so what?
AXFORD: Well…now…it was used by crooks once…maybe another set of crooks is usin’ it again!

This is kind of what I said several paragraphs ago.  Reid tells Axford he has a terrific imagination, though one wishes the writers had equally as terrific.  “Don’t it look suspicious to you, sir?” asks Michael of his boss.

REID: No, it does not…
GUNNIGAN: Britt…West suspects the Blue Streak company of sabotage…I think it would be a pretty good idea to have Lowery go down and check up on the situation…
REID: All right, all right…put Lowery on the story…and if it’ll make you any happier, I’ll take some bus rides myself…

Two curious things about Gunnigan’s suggestion.  One, he failed to mention that there might be a circulation boost resulting from the story, as his usual wont.  Two, he mentions a reporter named “Lowery,” who is no doubt Ed Lowery, another crack reporter at the paper.  When I first started watching The Green Hornet, I thought the character of “Jasper Jenks” (played by Philip Trent) was someone they made up for the serial but after doing a little research I learned that the character was featured back in the early days of the radio program…and since I don’t think I’ve heard too many of the early broadcasts (pre-1939) I’m more familiar with Lowery…who becomes the paper’s ace muckraker (played by Eddie Acuff) in the second Hornet serial, The Green Hornet Strikes Again!

At the Whippet Bus Lines repair garage, Dean and Corey are hard at work throwing monkey wrenches into the bus service’s operations…but curiously, Corey is concerned about the possibility that some people could get hurt, which is a touching sentiment considering he’s a greasy two-bit hood.

DEAN (sliding out from under a bus): There…that ought to fix it…she gets rolling down a grade…
COREY (putting the tools away and getting to his feet): Hey…you sure this bus is going to the terminal empty…the boss said there was to be no accidents to people…
DEAN: Don’t worry, it’ll be empty…I checked with the dispatcher…

Dean and Corey then walk over to the front of the bus, where a bored driver named Bud (Charles Sherlock) has apparently been seated the entire time, window down…and yet he did not hear any of the “mechanics” conversation.

DEAN: Okay…sixteen’s ready to roll…
COREY: Where are you going?
BUD: Suburban terminal…empty
(Bud signs off on some paperwork handed to him by Dean, and just as he’s getting ready to pull out a dispatcher walks up to the bus)
DISPATCHER: New orders, Bud…
BUD: More trouble?
DISPATCHER: Fifty-seven’s broke down, near Cloverhill grade…you’ll have to pick up his load…
BUD: Right!

Cue the sad trombone!  Dean and Corey exchange “Eh…whaddya gonna do?” looks with one another, and as Bus #16 pulls out of the garage the scene shifts to the unfortunate passengers biding their time in and outside of the bus while the driver (Jack Donovan) looks under the hood.  One of the passengers just happens to be our hero.

REID: Have you discovered what’s wrong?
DRIVER: Yeah…there’s a couple of bearings shot
REID: What’s the matter?  Whippet Lines operating buses with old motors?
DRIVER: No!  This is a brand-new job, but it’s the third breakdown I’ve had with it…
REID: Strange…
DRIVER: Strange?  Say…you know, this oil feels like it’s got emery dust in it… (He hands a portion to Reid, who feels for himself)

The conversation between Reid and the driver is interrupted by the arrival of Bud and Bus #16, and the waiting passengers are soon hustled onto the new bus, getting apologies for the delay in the bargain.  As the trip continues, Reid notices that the driver is taking some of the mountain roads a little too sharp:


REID: You’re going pretty fast down the grade…
BUD: Don’t tell the passengers, Mr. Reid…but my brakes are gone!

“I probably shouldn’t have drunk all that cough medicine before getting behind the wheel either…”


REID: What can you do?
BUD: I can handle the grade but I’m worried about the bridge at the bottom…
REID: The one that’s being repaired?
BUD: Yeah…there’s a bad dip in the detour…and at this speed, we’re liable to tip over…


Speaking of Speed—why don’t you just jump the bridge like they did in that movie?  Look, Bud’s a decent enough guy but if it weren’t for the fact that Britt Reid is on that bus, there’d be a headline in tomorrow’s Sentinel screaming “Multiple Fatalities in Fiery Bus Crash!”  The bus crashes through a barrier (after a construction guy futilely tries to wave the out-of-control vehicle off) and by grabbing the wheel, Reid steers the bus right into a storage depot, where the stacked sacks of powdered cement bring the bus to a halt.


I like how the first two people get off the bus as if there’s nothing at all unusual about slamming into in a shed.  (“It is dashed inconvenient, but we did reach our destination on time.”)  I’d like to think most of those people on the bus wouldn’t ever take that kind of transportation again unless guns were held to their heads.

REID (getting off the bus): When did you first feel your brakes start to go?
BUD: Well, they started to slow down on the downgrade…
REID: How long has it been since they’ve been inspected?
BUD: This bus just came out of the shop less than an hour ago…
REID: Well, let’s take a look at the brake rods…

Examining the brake rods, Reid sees clearly that they were nearly sliced in two by a hacksaw…it was no accident.  Then Bud spots another bus in the distance, loading up his ill-fated passengers:

BUD: How do you like that?
REID: I don’t get it…
BUD: Every time a Whippet Bus breaks down there’s always a Blue Streak on the job to take over our passengers…

Back at Reid’s office, Mr. Drys…er, West is seated in a chair when Casey comes in…

CASEY: Mr. Reid just came in, Mr. West…I’m sorry you had to wait…
WEST: That’s quite all right, Miss Case…
CASEY: I guess he was delayed getting into town…

“…on your Bus of Death.”  After hanging up his hat and seating himself at his desk, Britt Reid is convinced there may be something to West’s story.

REID: The last time we talked, you hinted the Blue Streak people were trying to cripple Whippet Lines…
WEST: I’m convinced of it…
REID: Have you any proof?
WEST: No…I haven’t…all I know is our buses have experienced a large number of breakdowns lately which look like sabotage
REID: But you have no tangible evidence!
WEST: That’s what worries me…this is a case even the police can’t touch…

This sounds like a job for…you-know-who.

REID: What do you figure these breakdowns have cost you?
WEST: I can’t estimate what it’s cost our reputation…but I should say our repairs have run about $12,000 over normal…

Thanking West for his help, Reid assures him that The Sentinel is “going to look into the bus transportation business thoroughly.”  (Translation: there’s a certain noisy automobile that will be out for a prowl later on this evening.)  Casey then comes into Reid’s office.

REID: Will you tell Axford I’m ready to go home?
CASEY: He went out just about the time you came in…
REID: Where did he go?
CASEY: I don’t know…he just said he had a hunch and he was going to follow it…
REID: Well…two to one it’ll lead him into trouble

Wait for it…


ROCKFORD: What goes on?
PETE: This bird was trying to get into the window downstairs, Rocky…
ROCKFORD: Burglar, hah?
ANDY: Nah…he’s Mike Axford, a reporter for The Sentinel
ROCKFORD: Oh…a reporter, huh?  Well, in that case…take off his gag, boys… (Pete removes the gag from Axford’s mouth) You didn’t have to break in here, Mr. Axford—we’re always willing to talk to the press…what was it you wanted to find out?
AXFORD: I wanted to see with me own eyes what kind of deviltry was bein’ cooked up in this crooked house!
ROCKFORD: Deviltry?  Why, I don’t know what you mean?!!
AXFORD: Oh, yes you do…me and The Sentinel’s got enough on you to send you to the pen for life!
ROCKFORD: Oh, you have?  That’s different… (To Andy and Pete, as he throws them some rope) Here…tie ‘em up…

“Heh…well, you’re bein’ a bit hasty, me boyo…our case is so thin a smart defense attorney would have no trouble at all gettin’ you off…heh heh…”  Pete and Andy the Thug (Ralph Dunn) start trussing Axford up like a prized steer.

ROCKFORD: Is anybody else with him?
AXFORD: Wouldn’t you like to know!
ROCKFORD: Yes, I would…and I’m going to find out!  Let’s go downstairs and take a look around…

Even though Andrew T. Thug has securely fastened Michael to a chair (with Rockford muttering “We’ll take care of this snooper later”), it’s important that the three of them conduct a downstairs check because what happens next surely belongs on a list of “Great Movie Coincidences.”  Back at his apartment, Britt Reid is wringing his hands because while he knows the Blue Streak matter is “definitely a case for the Hornet,” he doesn’t know where to begin with collecting evidence.

“Why not call the offices of the Blue Streak Line, Mr. Britt,” suggests Kato helpfully.  “If no one is there, you might pay them a visit…”

Solid advice, you inscrutable houseboy.  Picking up the phone (and apparently not having to look up the bus company’s number), Reid dials the Blue Streak business as the scene shifts to the sympathetic idiot Axford, struggling to get free.  When the phone starts ringing, a look of relief comes across his face as he tries to work his chair over to the phone…


…and as you can see in these screen caps, Boteler’s stunt man ends up falling on the ground for him.  (Too obvious.)  But the real Axford grabs the phone cord with his teeth and pulls it off the desk, where it lands beside him with the receiver off the hook:

AXFORD (into the receiver): Hello…who is it?
REID (on the other end): This is Britt Reid of The Sentinel
AXFORD: Glory be!  This is Michael Axford…
REID: Who?

Wonderful laugh-out-loud moment.  I was picturing Reid on the other end, saying to himself: “Jeebus, that idiot has got himself into trouble again…I’ll use the old ‘bad connection’ bit on him…”

AXFORD: Michael Axford!  I’m at the Mortinson place!  They’ve got me tied up!  A prisoner!  I… (He looks around and notices that Rockford, Andy and Pete have returned) Hello?  Hello?
ROCKFORD (rushing over to him) Stop that!  (Picking up the phone) Who’s calling?
REID: Uh…is this Westlake 4915?
ROCKFORD: Nah, this is Westwood 4915…
REID: I’m sorry…I guess I’ve got the wrong number… (He hangs up the phone, and addresses Kato) They’re holding Axford at the old Mortinson place!
KATO: That is not good…but it gives the Hornet an objective
REID: Get my mask and gun…we’ve got to move fast!

I’ll say he does.

ROCKFORD: So you thought you’d pull a fast one…what was you sayin’ on that phone?
AXFORD: Nothin’ but ‘hello’…you heard me!

Cut to brief insert of the Black Beauty racing through the canyon.

ROCKFORD: I don’t know whether that was a phony call or not…we’d better not take any chances…better get rid of this mug…

Pete tells “Rocky” that he and Andy will go down to the garage and make the arrangements while Rockford continues to try and sweat information out of Axford.  When you’re driving a bodacious automobile that can go 200 mph, however, it’s only going to be seconds before your arrival…and the Hornet arrives just in time, since Rockford was working over Axford good.


ROCKFORD: For the last time—are you gonna tell me what Reid sent you up here to find out?
AXFORD: I’m tellin’ you nothin’, Rockford
HORNET: Get away from that man!  I said get away from him!
ROCKFORD: You…you’re the Green Hornet!

The Hornet must have run out of those business cards he used in the earlier chapters…or maybe they haven’t come back from the printers yet.

HORNET: Exactly!  Why have you got this man tied up?
AXFORD: Why…uh…who, me?
HORNET: Never mind…I’ll release you, and you beat it!


The Hornet reaches over to untie Michael…who repays G.H.’s act of charity by kicking him in the abdomen with both feet, sending him to the floor.  As a sprightly Flight of the Bumblebee kicks up on the soundtrack, Rockford and the Hornet’s stuntman engage in a lively donnybrook that includes a Republic Studios-inspired balsa wood chair thrown at one point.  While this rages on, Axford struggles to loosen his bonds.  When he manages to wriggle free, he races over to a desk and grabs the Hornet’s gas gun, drawing on both him and Rockford.

AXFORD: All right…stop your fightin’, you two, and get up from there…’tis a happy day this night is…

But how can it be both day and night?  Well, maybe I should just let him enjoy his moment.

AXFORD: I’ve got you…and at last I’ve got the Green Hornet where I want him!
HORNET (moving toward him): Give me that gun, you idiot…
AXFORD: Aye…don’t hold your breath on it until I give it to ya…or maybe it would be just as well if you did!
ROCKFORD: Shall I tie him up?
AXFORD: No…get over there, you two, where I can watch ya…I’ll have no connivin’ between you…c’mon, move!
HORNET: I suppose you’re going to call the police…
AXFORD: That’s just what I’m going to do!

Axford starts to yell “Hello?” into the receiver, and getting no response, puts down the gas gun to dial the number direct.  I will not describe for you how easily the Hornet picks up the gun, except only to say that if Axford were my bodyguard, I’d start sleeping with one eye open at all times.

HORNET: Drop that receiver!  Now get out of here!
AXFORD (puzzled): Yes, sir… (He slinks out of the room)
HORNET (turning to Rockford): Now I’ll deal with you and your racketeering bus line…
ROCKFORD: I run a legitimate business!  You’re the one that’s a racketeer!
HORNET: I know all about the sabotage you had done on the Whippet buses…
ROCKFORD: You’re crazy!  The Blue Streak is an old established company!
HORNET: Don’t lie to me!  I know your men cut the brake rods on a Whippet bus today and nearly cost the lives of half-a-dozen people!
ROCKFORD: That was an empty bus that… (He stops, realizing his screw-up)


Schmuck.

HORNET: Rockford, your methods are old-fashioned…I’ll show you a much better way to really put a bus line out of business!
ROCKFORD (pulling a cigar from his pocket): I get it…you want to cut in with us…
HORNET: What do you think?
ROCKFORD: All right—what’s your price?
HORNET: $12,000 on the line and a signed agreement for 25% of your take…
ROCKFORD: Okay—it’s a deal…I’ll write you out a check while you draw up the agreement…

The Hornet then whips out his driver’s license to check to see if he was born yesterday, and because he wasn’t he tells Rockford he wants cash.  Rockford pleads that he doesn’t have that much scratch on hand, but the Hornet finally gets him to admit that there’s plenty of dough in the safe, and so he goes to collect it.  Meanwhile, Axford has found his way to a pay phone (no idea how that idiot managed to get past Andy and Pete, by the way) and is telling the cops that the “Har-nut” is at the old Mortinson place, and that they’d better bring “three squads” to capture him.  Back in Rockford’s office:

ROCKFORD (handing him a piece of paper): There’s your agreement, Hornet…now let’s have a few of your ideas…
HORNET: Thanks, Rockford—that’s just the evidence I needed to smash your racket!  Now I’m turning you over to the police!
ROCKFORD: Why, you crook!  You said you was going to show me how to put a bus line out of business!
HORNET: I am…and it’s your bus line!  This $12,000 will just pay the repair bills on the Whippet buses!

Irony can be pretty ironic sometimes, Rocky.  Of course, the chapter is nearly at an end so the Hornet asks the mook the $64 question: “Who’s the head of all your rackets?”  Before Rockford can spill the beans, Pete and Andy have arrived on the scene.


HORNET: Don’t use those guns!  You’ll hit Rockford!  And I’ll get you both before you can fire again!
ROCKFORD (pleading): No…no…don’t shoot…
PETE: The Chief’s orders are to get the Hornet regardless…too bad, Rocky…
ROCKFORD: Wait!  Wait!  Circle around—he can’t cover all three of us!

The Hornet signals Kato with his trademark whistle, and the lights go out in the house.  Pete yells at Rockford to get down on the floor just before Andy and he open fire, and as the Hornet makes his way to an open window to escape it appears that he’s been hit…