Thrilling Days of Yesteryear: Almost the Truth—The Lawyer's Cut

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Jungle Queen – Chapter 1: Invitation to Danger


I gave the decision on the choice of serial for TDOY’s Serial Saturdays a great deal of consideration, and while I really wanted to go with The Green Hornet (1940), I have acquiesced to longtime reader Phillip Schweier’s request that I wait until he gets a replacement copy from the vendor who sold him a defective disc. So, Phil—you’ve got thirteen weeks to rectify this…and then you’re on your own, pal. Without further ado, I’m pleased to present the 1945 Universal chapter play Jungle Queen (1945), courtesy of VCI Entertainment, which boasts on the DVD’s case cover that it contains “1000 Jungle Terrors!” and “13 Chapters of Savage Thrills!”

As our serial opens, an onscreen title announces that the time is 1939—just before the invasion of Poland and the Second World War. We witness stock footage of Nazis goose-stepping on parade and I just have to say—any serial in which Nazis are the villains usually turns out to be wildly entertaining. An anonymous Nazi official (we see only below the neck) absent-mindedly spins a globe and then asks for a report on Africa. His major domo, identifiable only by his shiny pair of heel-clicking jackboots responds: “From Tambosa…our agents there are still vorking to gain the allegiance of the middle jungle tribes…”

The superior officer has now moved over to his desk, where he has the second-largest ashtray I’ve ever seen and a nifty little Swastika paperweight. He then doodles a skull-and-crossbones on a notepad. (I swear I’m not making any of that up.) “How successfully?”

“Until now, very successfully,” Heel-Clicker answers, “but they are vorried about a rumor concerning a mysterious queen of the jungle…”

What follows is ample stock footage of animals and restless natives, followed by another unknown man taking a cigarette out his case (also with a Swastika; the Nazis must have one hell of a gift shop) and taps it…as he puts it to his mouth, the camera pans up to reveal a sinister looking man (Douglass Dumbrille) who answers to “Lang,” with his faithful native lackey Maati (Napoleon Simpson) at his side…

MAATI: Hear that? We’re nearing Tangara now...
LANG: Does that mean the ceremony’s begun?
MAATI: Not yet, Bwana Lang…but it won’t stop Tonga comes…
LANG: Tonga’s a friend of England…is he also a friend of that mysterious girl you’ve been telling me about?
MAATI: The Tongghili talk about the mystery queen of the jungle…but no one has ever seen her…
LANG: Well, regardless of her, Maati…you want to rule the people of the middle jungle, don’t you?
MAATI: I want to take Tonga’s place…
LANG: That’s why I’m here…to help you get it…

Two minutes and forty-eight seconds into this, and we’ve already got the jungle equivalent of The West Wing. There’s a cut to the ceremony which is already in progress, as the wise and all-knowing ruler Tonga (George Reed) has been asked to pronounce judgment upon a captured prisoner (Ray Turner):

TONGA: Godac (Ivan’s note: The audio on this thing is so muddy I thought he said “Kodak” at first)…why do chiefs from all the tribes stand before me?
GODAC: Tonga…judge of all Tongghili…guardian of the Secret Sword of Tongu…this prisoner is of the Bondo tribe…he murdered a warrior of the Lodo…the chiefs of the two tribes do not agree as to his punishment…
TONGA: Bring the prisoner before me!

Okay, here’s something I didn’t factor in when I said this might turn out to a lot of fun—the natives sound suspiciously like they’d be more at home at a lodge meeting of the Mystic Knights of the Sea…and that can’t be good. Outside the temple, Maati makes his way inside by pulling out a sling and knocking out one of the temple guards. Let’s rejoin Judge Tonga for his verdict in “The Case of the Murdering Bondo”:

NATIVE: …and Tongu, that’s why I killed my enemy…I ask for mercy…
TONGA: Tongu…founder of all our tribes…enforce the laws with this sword (holds up sword)…the laws of Tongu will be obeyed…take the test!

The prisoner is taken to a large door by the two chiefs, and the door is opened to reveal one heck of a barbecue going on. Tonga decrees that if the man is innocent, he will be able to pass through the flames without so much as a third-degree burn…although I’m still a little confused by this, since the guy has already admitted he croaked his enemy. The prisoner bolts into the room, and as the door closes we hear his anguished cries of pain (and I don’t think sunscreen would have helped). “Only the guilty perish,” Tonga intones as if we couldn’t determine the bleeding obvious. At that moment, a hidden Maati hurls a spear at the ruler, shutting off that tap of wisdom for good. It is up to Godac (Clinton Rosemond) to deliver the eulogy for a man who will be missed by his people:

Our judges have lived, ruled and died throughout the many centuries…yet no man before now has raised hand against him…
This stirring speech is cut short by the sound of a gong, which either means it’s time to listen to Lights Out or someone of self-importance has decided to rudely interrupt these proceedings instead of clearing his throat or gently tapping on his drinking glass. No—from out of the flames that previously engulfed the guilty native, a vision of white appears! It is Lothel (Ruth Roman), the titled monarch of this rapidly-getting-silly serial!

KYBA: The mystery queen of the jungle! Why does she come?
LOTHEL (her voice a slight echo): I come to help you…enemies have crept secretly into your middle jungle…unknown enemies…they come from across the wide water…they planned this murder…I am called…Lothel…

Again, the soundtrack on this chapter play is as muddied as America’s Affordable Health Choices Act, but the gist of this boils down to two things—a), Queenie is warning the tribesmen about Lang and the rest of his Nazi posse, and b), always make certain to hire an exterminator when you move into the middle jungle. Godac shakes off this whole Lothel incident by declaring: “I am now your judge…you’re my hunters…bring me the murderer!”

The scene then shifts to beautiful downtown Tambosa, where we witness Lang—who’s not so much the brains of this outfit as its pathetically sniveling Karl Rove sycophant—accompanying his boss, Dr. Elise Bork (Tala Birell) to the office of Commissioner Braham Chatterton (Lester Matthews) and being greeted by Chatterton’s toady Rogers (Cyril Delevanti)—the three of them briefly discuss the circumstances surrounding Tonga’s death (Rogers reveals with a perfectly straight face that they “heard it on the jungle drums”). Lang makes a lame excuse to exit the building (probably needs to oversee some registration activities for the Party) while Bork is entertained by his Commissionership:

CHATTERTON: Did you hear anything in the jungle about Tonga’s assassination?
BORK: Strange story about a mysterious woman…according to the natives, she appeared…walking through the fire, just after the murder…
CHATTERTON (chuckling): You know, that’s one of the most interesting things about Africa…you never know when the truth ends and imagination begins…what did she do?
BORK: Warned the Tongghili about foreigners who come into the middle jungle…
CHATTERTON: Oh, I say, that is serious…know anything else about her?
BORK: Only her name…Lothel…
CHATTERTON: Lothel…is that Tongghili?
BORK: Yes…it means “white butterfly”…

So…apparently Lothel’s folks did a few too many drugs back in the day, and they mistakenly left her behind in Africa during a sabbatical from school. But that’s as may be, because Bork and Chatterton’s conversation is interrupted by the arrival of Rogers, who’s propping up a wounded native who makes this pronouncement:

I…I come…bwana…from the...Tongghili…we…need help…I find...Tonga…killer…Lothel…Lothel…
And having significantly padded his part, he falls to the floor dead. After briefly discussing the significance of this event, Chatterton asks Bork to excuse him as he has important work—and upon her departure:

ROGERS: Why dismiss Dr. Bork, sir? She knows more about these natives than anyone, except Alan Courtney…
CHATTERTON: Dr. Bork isn’t English, Rogers…I wish Courtney were here… (Looking down at the native’s closed hand) Rogers! Look there! That man has a message for us!

Oh, please – I’ve seen too many old movies to know what a stiff-upper-lip like Courtney would do…he’d probably suggest they discuss the matter around a cup of tea. Nevertheless, the scene shifts to London, where we witness a young woman (Lois Collier) enter an impressive-looking house and rap on an inside door. A panel in the door opens up to reveal two men inside, one of which who greets her with “Come in, Miss Courtney…” We soon learn that she is the niece of the much-talked-about Alan, and upon entering the room also discover that there are three men present—one of whom (Lumsden Hare) insists on being referred to as “Mr. X.”

MR. X: Any word from your uncle Alan recently?
PAMELA: No…he never writes when he’s in the middle jungle…
MR. X: I thought he perhaps might have come out since I last heard…

I’m not sure I want to hear where this is going…

MR. X: You’ve been there with him, have you not?
Then again…maybe this won’t be so bad

PAMELA: Why, yes…yes, of course…for a safari…but you knew about that before…
MR. X: Well, the question’s just for the record, my dear…did you read the report that I sent you about the trouble in the middle jungle?
PAMELA: Yes, I did…but I still can’t understand why the judge of the tribes was murdered…
MR. X: We think we know…but we have to be sure…that’s why we want your uncle to investigate…
PAMELA: I’m afraid the Tongghili would resent interference in native affairs…
MR. X: The native mentioned in the report is the one who died in our commissioner’s office in Tambosa…had this clutched in his hand…

Mr. X passes Pamela a piece of torn clothing label which reads:

Trellows & Co.
Custom Tailors
New York City
Since X and his people have ruled out the possibility that the natives are now using the internets to order custom-made clothing from the U.S., Pamela’s suspicion falls on the Nazis, renowned for their good taste in haberdashery: “Labels don’t always mean what they say, my dear,” Mr. X begins to bloviate. “Not when another world war is sure to come at any moment…warmongering Nazis…” As X drones on and on, the camera shows us that a bug has been strategically placed in a decorative candelabra hanging on a nearby wall, and there is a brief shot of a man who’s actually managing to stay awake and to transcribe X’s insomnia-curing rant. Then it’s back to X’s domicile for this earth-shattering observation:

MR. X: Almost every foreign office in the world will agree…that the nation which controls Africa…controls all the Southern approaches to Europe
PAMELA: In other words…if the Nazis control the Tongghili…it will help them control Africa

Well, so much for the clumsy, heavily-labored plot. X entreats Pamela to relay this information to her uncle, commenting: “You’re the one person in the world that can go to him openly without creating suspicion.” The ringing of a telephone interrupts this conversation, as one of X’s lackeys answers, speaks some coded gibberish into the receiver…and then hangs up. X informs Pamela that the conversation came from Washington, DC—where the information about the label has been relayed, and which also will allow the writers of this serial to introduce two more characters to the plot, volunteer agent Bob Elliott (Edward Norris) and his auto mechanic pal (and comic relief), Chuck Kelly (Eddie Quillan):

BOB: …a friend of mine in Washington was telling me about a place called Tambosa…
CHUCK: Tambosa? Do you fry it, boil it or bake it?
BOB (chuckling): No, it’s a river town down in Africa…on the edge of the middle jungle…and because of my curiosity; we may be walking into something
CHUCK: Huh?
BOB: I mean—there’s a chance we might not come back
CHUCK: Ah…you don’t think so? (Making a fist) Hmm…Africa, huh? Okay, it’s a deal…what are we hunting for?
BOB: Oh, we won’t know that until we meet an Englishman by the name of Alan Courtney in Tambosa…

The scene then shifts back to our friend, the doodling Nazi receives additional details from his heel-clicking friend that Pamela is en route to her uncle…meaning England has now gotten involved in attempting to stop their nefarious scheme. Herr Heel-Clicker tells his superior that Pamela “will take the night plane to Tambosa” and that their men stationed nearby have “received orders.”

We then cut to the plane, which is starting up and about to get underway on its journey—Bob and Chuck are aboard, with Pamela following shortly after. A mechanic (Edmund Cobb!) known as “Johann” informs a thug (Robert R. Stephenson) answering to “Krantz” that while the motors may purr like a fraulein having her back scratched, one of them will soon konk out, leaving its crew and passengers in a very precarious position…and just when the three travelers were starting to get well-acquainted…

Next Saturday, Chapter Two: Jungle Sacrifice!

1 comment:

  1. Mucho appreciato for back-burnering The Green Harnutt, Ive. I'll revisit said vendor over Labor Day, and if he can't see his way clear to make good on his bootlegged product, then I've got a vendor on ebay I've been eyeing for a while. Either way, I'm covered for when you do the blow-by-blow commentary. – Philip Schweier

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