Government Agents vs. Phantom Legion – Chapter 11: Perilous Plunge

After last week’s abbreviated version of (Big) Government Agents vs. Phantom Legion—owing to the fact that it was a “re-cap chapter”—members of the Thrilling Days of Yesteryear faithful have probably been salivating in anticipation of this week’s installment, knowing that it will provide much needed meat to the bones of this chapter play.  Well, your drool is for naught—there’s absolutely nothing of consequence in this chapter…although it does end with a cliffhanger that they apparently didn’t crib from a previous serial.

We know, of course, that Hal Duncan (Walter Reed)—Special Government Agent!—did not perish when his car was nudged off a cliff in last week’s episode…simply because it has been shown that it’s de rigueur for Hal to bail out at the last second whenever he finds himself in these situations.  In fact, there was once an incident at a Piggly Wiggly where a careless shopper lost control of their cart and it slammed into Hal’s sedan—the result being that Hal jumped out of his car and onto the parking lot.  Several bystanders reportedly stood by and stared at this odd behavior, with one little girl asking her mother “why that man looks so much like Ralph Byrd.”

"How am I gonna get back to town?"

The car Hal has vacated lands at the bottom of a ravine and instantly bursts into flame because this is the movies.  “That’ll take care of those records all right,” gloats Regan (Dick Curtis) like a big gloaty gloater.  “Let’s get out of here.”  The “records” to which he’s referring were documentation that one of the members of the Interstate Truck Owners’ Association is in actually the criminal mastermind nicknamed “The Voice,” boss of Regan and his toadying sidekick Cady (Fred Coby).  Duncan was ferrying these records to the home of the District Attorney (Norval Mitchell) because the D.A...well, his explanation for why Hal needed to do this is still a bit odd.  (Maybe he had no room in his office because of all the graft and kickbacks stored there.)

So it’s on to a meeting of the I.T.O.A., where Hal still hopes he’ll be able to unmask The Voice among the four company owners—Armstrong (Pierce Lyden), Crandall (Arthur Space), Thompson (Mauritz Hugo) and Willard (George Meeker)—like something out of a Charlie Chan film.

HAL: …of course, I can’t prove it wasn’t an accident…but it looked to me like a deliberate attempt to murder…as it was, all of my records and notes were destroyed in the fire…

CRANDALL: Is it possible to replace them?

“No…I never back up anything on The Cloud.”

HAL: Well, partially…I have duplicates of some of the records and I can rewrite most of my reports from memory—I’m getting everything compiled again to turn over to the District Attorney…

WILLARD: And you still think he’ll find your evidence strong enough to indict one of us?

HAL: I’m sure he will…so if any of you would care to make a statement first…it would make it easier for everyone…

“Mostly me.  Honestly, fellas—I don’t want to have to rewrite all this stuff…won’t somebody confess?  Huh?  Pretty please?”

THOMPSON: I’ve had enough of this…we’ve tried to cooperate with you and the only thing it’s brought us is your ridiculous accusations…I don’t see why we should continue to take orders from you!

CRANDALL: Thompson…would you like to be the first one of us to refuse to cooperate with a government agent?

THOMPSON (after a pause): No…no, I don’t suppose I could do that without putting myself under suspicion…

Oh, Thompson—you’re really intimidated by this clown?  Dude, Hal’s so incredibly inept at his job—I’m surprised he’s gotten this far in the investigation and we’re not looking at a thirty-episode serial.  Nevertheless, while Thompson respects Duncan’s nonexistent enforcement powers, he is not going to sit there “and listen to any more insults.”  The four trucking owners get up from the conference table, grab their hats, and leave en masse.  (“Good day to you sir.  I say, good day!”)  It’s up to Hal’s loyal gal Friday, Kay Roberts (Mary Ellen Kay), to soothe his wounded ego.

KAY: You don’t seem to be very popular…

“I’ve been trying to avoid telling you this, Hal, but…it’s your breath…”

HAL: Nah…and I couldn’t get anyone mad enough to make a break—which is what I was trying to do…

“William Powell always makes it look so easy!”

KAY: I’d be willing to bet you made one of them mad enough to try again to murder you…

HAL: Probably…especially now that they know that I’m still going to turn over my report to the D.A…

“But I laugh at danger—HA!”  Hal asks Kay to get his reports out of the safe even though he’s not standing much further from it than she is…he just likes bossing people around.  “I’ll have to go through all my old notes and dig up material for my new report,” he muses.  “Ah, it’ll be quite a job.”  (Why is he telling Kay all this—she’s fully aware she’s the drudge who’s going to have to type it up.)

While looking over his notes, Hal suddenly comes up with one of those plot contrivances the writers of these serials often resort to when they realize they’re going to have to wrap it up soon:

HAL: Say…here’s something that ought to help me trap those crooks…when I made Regan call his boss I got the wavelength of both of their radios…

KAY: You could listen in on them!  You might hear something that will help!

HAL: Yes…but that’s not what I was thinking about…

“Nice try, Kay…for a girl, that is.”

HAL: …if I can maneuver Regan into a position where he has to call his boss again on the radio…I could triangulate the position of his boss’ set…

KAY: Sounds good…

HAL: We’ll have to set up two listening points with direction finders…you can handle one here and I’ll plant Sam with another one up in the hills…then if I can get them to chase me to the right spot…

Um…how do you expect to “triangulate” with only two listening points?  (I know geometry was not my strongest subject—but triangles have three points.)  I’m sure this crossed the mind of Phantom Legion scribe Ronald Davidson…well, briefly up until the point he said to himself: “F**l it—those kids won’t care…they’re just waiting for the Rex Allen picture to start, anyway.”

Meanwhile…at the Metz Building…

VOICE: …so you’ll have to try again to stop Duncan…this time be sure your plans work out!

REGAN: Do you think he’ll take the reports to the District Attorney’s house?

“Focus, man, focus!  That was the lame plot in the last chapter!”

VOICE: I don’t know…so plant someone at the Association office at all times!

REGAN (getting up): Okay…

I’m going to skip over a large part of this next sequence, because it’s got more filler in it than a frankfurter—basically, some character named Gray (Dean Henson) watches the I.T.O.A. building, waiting for Hal to emerge…and when Hal gets in the Duncanmobile, he radios this info to Regan and Cady in their Bad Guy Sedan.  The two of them follow Hal as he leads them out of the city and for a drive in the country.

At a certain point during their drive, Regan and Cady decide the time is right to go after Hal in a more forceful manner and so they start to chase him aggressively.  Hal channels his inner Steve McQueen and puts the pedal to the metal.  At one point, Regan fires at Hal…breaking his windshield and no doubt a call to Safelite will soon be in order…

…Hal takes a country road detour and parks near an area with many rocks.  Firing his gun at the henchies as he exits the vehicle, he then runs and hides a short ways down a cliff.

Regan and Cady catch up to him…but because they are either lazy or they don’t want to get their cheap suits dirty (or because it’s necessary for this lame plot to succeed), they give up looking for Hal (who’s right below them) and make their way back to their sedan.  Before departing, they stop by Hal’s car and grab a briefcase that, after a quick search, reveals to be carrying some of the documents he plans to turn over to the D.A.

Elsewhere in the area, Hal meets up with his dopey sidekick Sam Bradley (John Pickard)—who’s been noticeably absent from the serial (except for flashbacks) since having his ass handed to him by the bad guys in Chapter 9.

SAM: How are we doin’?

HAL: All right so far…they followed me to the ledge—then went back to the car to call their boss… (Pointing to some equipment) Is this all ready?

SAM: Yeah…

Hal contacts Kay at the I.T.O.A., and tells her that Regan and Cady will probably be contracting The Voice in a matter of minutes.   “So get on this frequency and have your direction loop ready,” he tells her like a bossy boss.  Sure enough, the rats fall for the trap.

REGAN: Calling V-317…calling V-317…

VOICE: Come in, Regan…

REGAN: We chased Duncan out into the hills but he left his car and ran away…then we picked up his briefcase full of reports…but it sort of looks like a rigged-up deal to me…

VOICE: Do the reports seem authentic?

REGAN: Near as I can tell…but if they are…I can’t figure out why he left them here for us…

VOICE: Bring them in to me at once…but be sure you’re not followed…this may be some sort of scheme to locate me…

“It sounds like he’s trying to do some sort of triangulation.”  The conversation between the two men is overheard by Hal and Sam at the one listening point, and by Kay at the I.T.O.A. sound post.  Gathering up the “bearings,” they are quickly able to ascertain the location of The Voice’s hideout.  “The northeast corner of North and Main,” exclaims Hal.  (“Hey, that’s the Metz Building—wouldn’t you know…I pass by that place every day on my way to work…”)

Hal and Sam arrive at the Metz Building in the Sammobile.

SAM: Now…how do we find out which office he’s in?

“It should be on the directory in the lobby…under ‘Phantom Legion’…”

HAL: Well, we know that Regan and Cady should be here…so we’ll just have to start checking offices until we find them…let’s start at the top and work down…

SAM: Good enough!

I hope the elevator is out of order—that’ll teach them to go in without a plan.  So as Hal and Sam systematically search the premises, Regan and Cady are reporting to The Voice.

VOICE (after rifling through the documents): These reports seem genuine…but there’s nothing in them of any importance…I expect this is some kind of scheme to trap us…so you’d better hide out at the underground warehouse for a few days until I can learn what’s going on…

REGAN: Okay!

And just as Regan walks over to the office door…guess who’s on the other side?  (Hint—it is not Jimmy John’s.)

Well, we haven’t broken any furniture yet this week so the donnybrook soon gets underway in the offices of Phantom Legion, Ltd. (with The Voice watching from his vantage point on the other side of the mirror); it’s mostly your standard Republic fistfight though I did snort when this stunt involving the file cabinet happened:

Finally, as Regan and Hal struggle next to the open window, Regan forces Hal out of it as the crowd gasps below…