Thrilling Days of Yesteryear: Almost the Truth—The Lawyer's Cut

Saturday, December 20, 2014

The Black Widow (1947) – Chapter 8: False Information


Last week on The Black Widow (1947), novelist-criminologist Steve Colt (Bruce Edwards) was about to use his phenomenally underwhelming sleuthing powers to reveal the true identity of the titular villainess, whom we know and worship as evil fortuneteller Madame Sombra (Carol Forman).  With the help of irksome gal reporter Joyce Winters (Virginia Lindley), Colt was studying a set of fingerprints found on a handbag that belonged to renowned (and now most sincerely dead) physicist Dr. Ann Curry (Virginia Carroll).  Moments from their breakthrough, our heroes got a visit from Sombra’s head henchie Nick Ward (Anthony Warde) and his lackey Hodges (Dale van Sickel)—who is surely up for recognition at the next Henchman’s Convention for his amazing leap out of a second story window (in which he risked serious injury) to stop Colt from catching up to Ward.  In the melee that followed, Colt was rendered unconscious and was about to be runned over by Ward…


…but he escaped in the nick of time.  (Or should that be Nick of time, in keeping with Ward’s first name?)

A frustrated Steve then visits the laboratory of Professor Henry Weston (Sam Flint), an inventor whose rocket motor and “sinetrone” have attracted the attention of the U.S. Government…but who apparently are unable to provide him with top-flight security, owing to severe budget cutbacks from the 1940s version of the Tea Party.

STEVE: …when Ward destroyed the fingerprints and got away with Dr. Curry’s handbag, he left us with no further clue to the Black Widow Gang…all we know is that the leader is definitely a foreigner…presumably an Asiatic…and certainly a woman…
WESTON: An ingenious woman…as deadly as the name implies…

“When I stop to think of it…I’ve been looking for such an exotic companion all my life—perhaps I should reconsider turning over my work to the government?”

WESTON: …the government wants me to continue my work on the sinetrone and rocket motor…
STEVE: But not in your laboratory, Mr. Weston…
WESTON: Because of security?
STEVE: That’s right…the Black Widow wants your motor and sinetrone, and she’ll try to get them as soon as she can…
WESTON: Can you suggest a place?
STEVE: Yes, a good one…and you can stay there until your work’s completed…after all, Weston—the Black Widow can’t move against you if she can’t find you…

We take you now to Sombra’s hideout, where she is in conference with Ward and her other associate-in-evil, Dr. Z.V. Jaffa (I. Stanford Jolley).

SOMBRA: Have you located Weston yet?
WARD: No luck…he’s completely disappeared!

“What’s worse, he didn’t even have the common courtesy to leave a forwarding address!”

WARD: There’s been no trace of him anywhere in the past three days—his laboratory’s closed up tighter than a drum…can’t see how Weston got by the men…
SOMBRA: Are your men watching Colt?
WARD: Yes…
SOMBRA: He must be forced to lead us to Weston…
JAFFA: But how, Madame?


Oh, foolish Jaffa—Madame Sombra sees all…knows all!  She starts to outline her nefarious scheme, which leads to a dissolve and the front of The Daily Clarion building.  Ward watches Joyce get into her car, and as our plucky journalmalist puts her key into the starter and switches on the ignition, a plume of gas fumes begins to spew forth…making Joycie very sleepy.  Ward then slides her unconscious body over to the passenger side and drives off…


Joyce awakens to find herself bound and gagged to a chair located inside a strange apartment.  In the next room, Ward plays poker with another thug named Jack, which marks ace stuntman Tom Steele’s second appearance in Widow.  Joyce finds it remarkably easy to free herself from her bonds—yet she doesn’t realize that this has been a faux kidnapping, and Ward relies on his experience in summer stock to convince her that the gang have captured Weston with a phony phone call from the next room.

WARD: Hello?  This is Ward…you found Weston?  Where?  Sure…right away!  What about the girl?  Okay…I’ll take care of her after I’ve worked Weston over…yeah…goodbye… (He hangs up the phone; to Jack) They’ve found Weston so we don’t have to make the girl talk…now you watch her while I get some of the men and grab Weston!  (He gives Jack a big wink)

Armed with this “false information,” Joyce escapes out the apartment window and subsequently returns to the Clarion, where her relaying of what she knows falls deaf upon the jerkwad ears of her boyfriend Steve.

JOYCE: …I heard Ward say they found Weston, and then Ward left…and I slipped out the window and got away… (No reaction from Steve) Well, aren’t you going to do something?  Ward might kill him!
STEVE: Aw, calm down—you know, you’re liable to blow a fuse!
JOYCE: Calm down?  With Weston’s life in danger—and if you don’t do something quick the Black Widow will get the rocket…
STEVE (interrupting): Now, wait a minute…if you could only think as fast as you can talk

“That’s it—we are so breaking up!”

JOYCE: Listen, Steve Colt—I’ve heard about enough
STEVE: Now don’t get excited…suppose you listen to me for a change?

“Submit to my superior maleness, you mouthy wench!”  Another dissolve finds Ward outside the Clarion, waiting in his car.  He observes Steve tearing out of the building and hurriedly getting into his car, so he decides to follow.  Note the name of the business in the background:


No doubt a reference to actor John Merton, who appeared in such Republic serials as Drums of Fu Manchu (1940), Zorro’s Black Whip (1944) and Radar Patrol vs. Spy King (1949).  A rather prolonged chase sequence follows, with Ward taking care not to be noticed that he’s tailing Our Man Colt.  The two of them wind up in the middle of B.F.E., amidst those same rocks you’ve seen in countless Republic serials and B-westerns.  Before he gets out of his car, we observe Colt monkeying around with some sort of device that he conceals in the glove compartment of his car.  Eventually, a self-satisfied Steve gets the drop on his nemesis when Ward starts trailing him through the rocks on foot:


STEVE: I didn’t fall for that phony escape, Ward…besides—I knew no one could find Weston…now I’m going to take you to the police and you’re going to tell us who the Black Widow is and where she is…
WARD: Pretty sure of yourself—eh, Colt?
STEVE: No…but I happen to hold the whip hand…

“Only there’s a gun in it…not a whip.”  Steve marches Ward back to his car…but he either accidentally or purposely (I suspect it’s the latter) stumbles on a rock…and that gives Ward an opening to slug Steve and start running for Steve’s ride.  Colt gets to his feet and starts firing his pistola at the fleeing henchman…but that goon is gone as a goon can get.  Steve’s salvation comes in the form of his on-again-off-again girlfriend, who drives up to him in her car.

STEVE (rubbing his chin): That Ward packs a mean wallop
JOYCE: It was your idea…
STEVE: That fast backhand wasn’t…move over…

“I’m not going to tell you this again—I’m the man, I do the driving.”  Joyce notices that there’s a device similar to the one Steve placed in the other car and asks her man what it is—and he’s only too happy to oblige.  “It’s a receiver that picks up an oscillation tone signal,” he explains condescendingly.  Switching it on, Joyce squeals “It works!”

“Naturally!” he brags.  “And the oscillator I planted in that other car will lead us to wherever Ward drives…and it’s my guess it’ll be to the Black Widow…”  Don’t let him get away again, Joycie.

Ward pulls up alongside a warehouse…because we haven’t had a really good warehouse knock-down-drag-out in this serial so far.  Inside, Sombra—wearing dark glasses so she will not be recognized—issues instructions to another one of her nameless minions; both of them are surrounded by barrels conspicuously marked “linseed oil.”

SOMBRA: Make sure there are a few barrels of linseed oil and paint mixed in with the others in case someone wants to inspect the contents…
MINION: Yes, Madame Sombra…
SOMBRA: We have to have this rocket fuel ready to ship tomorrow…
WARD (entering the warehouse): Colt didn’t fall for the gag…he tried to grab me…

“He was all handsy, I swear!”  Outside the building, Steve and Joyce have arrived.

STEVE: You wait here…there might be trouble…
JOYCE: And miss a story?  Not this girl!
STEVE: I guess there’s no use arguing with you…


And with that, he whips out a pair of handcuffs and secures Joyce to the steering wheel.  Kinky!  Back inside…

WARD: …and so, I grabbed his car…and left him there to hike back to town…
SOMBRA: And we still don’t know where Weston’s hiding!
STEVE: And what’s more—you won’t!

It’s Hero Steve, entering the warehouse with his gun drawn.  “Move over and face the wall,” he barks as he grabs a length of rope.  “You, too,” he orders Sombra when she’s a little too slow to follow in Ward and Minion’s footsteps.


“Mr. Colt would not shoot a woman,” purrs Sombra.  (Yeah, but handcuffing them to steering wheels is a whole ‘nother kettle of fish.)  Sombra kicks at one of the legs at a nearby desk…


…and a trap door opens, temporarily disorienting Colt and allowing Ward & Minion to rush over and disarm him.  They pull him out of the opening, and Sombra hisses: “I regret it is necessary to kill you, Mr. Colt.”  Don’t sweat it, your Diabolicalness—he was starting to wear out his welcome anyway.


Once again, Joyce will have to come to Steve’s rescue because Sombra has ordered him to face the wall.  Trouble is, Joyce is having to lug the steering wheel with her (she’s still handcuffed to it, and this did make me laugh long and hard) but it comes in handy during the ensuing fistfight because she’s able to use it to ward off a blow from a chair Sombra wields during the donnybrook.  Joyce also socks Ward with it when she first enters the warehouse, causing him to miss Steve with his gun…but blowing a hole into one of the barrels of “linseed oil”…


For most of the fight, it’s Steve vs. Minion…though Ward manages to throw in a few good punches as well.  A lamp on the desk falls to the floor and ignites the rocket fuel that’s quickly soaking the warehouse floor…


As for Sombra, she knocks Joyce down into the trap door opening, where our heroine lays unconscious with her steering wheel.  Sombra beats a hasty retreat…followed by Ward…and then…

1 comment:

  1. Ugh, Steve is such a jerk. But it's almost worth it just to see Joyce walking around with a steering wheel cuffed to her wrist.

    ReplyDelete