OUR STORY SO FAR: I think it’s time I faced a few facts here at Thrilling Days of Yesteryear. This serial isn’t going to get any better. Granted, it has a promising premise involving Nazis trying to take over Africa …but the ruthlessly inefficient agents in this turkey would have difficulty stealing kids’ lunch money. And as for those individuals representing our side…it’s a wonder we managed to win the war.
Be that as it may, this chapter gets my vote for the most frenzied I’ve seen so far. In Chapter 7, skeevy Captain Drake (Oliver Blake) sets up a booby trap on board his schooner, the Silver Star, whereupon any poor soul who takes a stroll down the companionway (and activates a trip-wire stretched across it) will find him or herself about twenty pounds heavier, because they’ve just been riddled with lead from a badass automatic rifle. Unfortunately for the good Captain, he’ll never get the opportunity to admire his handiwork…because he’s been put out of commission in this serial, thanks to faux Swedish botanist Dr. Elise Bork (Tala Birell), who knifed him in the back when he tweren’t lookin’. And wouldn’t you know, one of our American heroes, the unbelievably dense Bob Elliot (Edward Norris), is making his way down that very companionway…looking for his imprisoned friends, Chuck Kelly (Eddie Quillan) and Pamela Courtney (Lois Collier).
But Bob escapes being a practice target thanks to the last-minute death bed conversion of Drake, who shouts out “Look out for the trip wire!” just as he’s finishing his purchase of a brand new farm. (How did he know it was Bob? Stop asking questions.) Hearing what sounds like a chorus of tommy guns from the upper deck, one of the constables in the employ of Braham Chatterton (Lester Matthews), Royal Commissioner and Paper Clip Straightener, calls out to Bob to inquire if he’s dead. (Quite.)
CONSTABLE: Mr. Eliot? Mr. Eliot?
BOB: Yes?
CONSTABLE: Are you all right, sir?
BOB: I’m all right, Constable…but a booby trap almost got me!
The Constable responds with one of those comical “Whew!” exclamations, and Bob stops to examine the trap. Very impressive, Mr. Kotter! He then hears a knocking-on-wood in the distance—while Bob was making his way down The Shooting Gallery of Death, Chuck and Pam have managed to break loose of their bonds, but are still trapped in the hidey-hole underneath Drake’s bunk.
BOB: Chuck! Pam! So this is where you’ve been hiding!
CHUCK: Hiding???
BOB: How do you get into this thing?
CHUCK: Well, the…the captain pried it open with a knife! Come on—hurry up, will ya?
I hope the ship’s head hasn’t been booby-trapped, because I suspect that’s why Chuck is yelling at Bob to get a move on.
BOB: Did you overhear anything?
PAMELA: Just murmurings…and the gunshots…
Good thing Drake thought to soundproof that crawlspace, because he was apparently using it as a recording studio. And yet…somehow Chuck and Pam knew someone was coming down the companionway to their rescue. (I don’t think even Ripley would believe this…)
CHUCK (Pointing to the dead Drake on the floor): We didn’t hear that…
BOB: Drake saved my life by yelling a warning…
CHUCK: Gettin’ even, I guess, with whoever double-crossed him…
Yeah, that’s probably the explanation. Not a plot contrivance at all.
CHUCK: You didn’t miss the murderer by more than minutes…
BOB: Long enough for him to get away…
Actually, Bob is quite wrong—both on the gender of the killer and the killer’s proximity. A quick cut finds Doc Bork hiding in the same place that allowed Captain Drake to eavesdrop on conversations in the previous chapter…before he came down with that whole knife-in-the-back thing, that is.
BOB: Anything else interesting under there?
“Just some place called Narnia. We didn’t have time to get a really good look…”
CHUCK: Don’t know and don’t wanna know…
PAMELA: I don’t mind looking into it…
Atta girl, Pam…why don’t you make coffee for everybody, too, while you’re at it? Bob and Chuck have to rehash, of course, the information that the knife that ended up in Drake’s back was one previously stored in the exact same back as Pam’s uncle, explorer Alan Courtney. But Chuck, bright lad that he is, wonders if there are any more weapons on board ship after Bob tells him that a German automatic rifle was at the heart of Drake’s booby trap.
PAMELA (emerging from the “coffin” with some paperwork): I say! Look what I found!
BOB: Did you find this under the bunk?
PAMELA: Mm-hmm…
Yes, Captain Drake was so confident that Chuck and Pamela would never…ever…escape from where they were being held prisoner that he just so happened to leave behind invoices for the weaponry in the very same place, knowing they would be perfectly safe. I’m sure this is all just an amazing coinky-dink.
BOB (turning pages): A full report on the real ship’s cargo…rifles…Mausers…and ammunition!
CHUCK (whistling): What a haul! Hoo!
BOB (shaking his head): No such luck…that cargo is unloaded…I know, ‘cause I searched this tub earlier…
Well…you didn’t find Chuck and Pam on the first try…perhaps you should attempt a second search, Robert.
PAMELA: If we find the arsenal…we find the Nazis…
CHUCK: Those rifles are probably on their way to the natives by now…
PAMELA (rifling through the report): Hmm…these papers indicate a number of shipments…we know there aren’t many natives armed…there must be an arsenal near here someplace…
BOB: Pam’s right, Chuck…the Nazis wouldn’t arm the natives until they had them under their control!
Or maybe they’re just irresponsible and gave them to the Tongghili anyway…
BOB: And that’s what we’ve really got to stop!
CHUCK: Okay…where do we go from here?
BOB: Tambosa Tim’s…Pam, you report to Chatterton…I’ll phone him and tell him you’re coming…the constable will escort you…
“Oh, and make me about a dozen copies of that report. By the way…that water cooler isn’t going to refill itself, you know.” Our heroes spring into action as Bork patiently awaits their exit so that she can foil their plans for this chapter.
There is a wipe to Tim’s Whiskey & Oyster Emporium (“Nude Bingo Nightly!”) as Bob and Chuck arrive at the outside entrance.
BOB: If I’m not back in five minutes…you do your stuff, huh…?
CHUCK: Nothing will please me more…
And nothing will make the audience wince in pain more, because that means Chuck will be an annoying prat. Bob shakes down friendly Bilge the waiter (Al Woods) as to where he can find his Timness, just as the sweaty bastid himself is chatting with Dr. Bork, who is spilling the beans about the convo on board the Silver Star:
BORK: …and he’ll be here any minute…
TIM: I like visitors, I do…and I always give them the best—the very best!
As Bork exits out the secret back door, the heroic Bob arrives on the scene!
BOB: Going someplace, Tambosa Tim?
(Tim looks momentarily startled; he then closes the back door and walks over toward Bob.)
TIM: Now what made you ask that? I never go no place…never do….hmm…
“It’s my body odor. I get requests from people begging me not to visit.”
TIM: I let people come to me… (Chuckles) Well, what can I do you for?
There is then a dissolve, and we now see Tim seated at his desk, furiously fanning himself. He says a few words, and then the camera pulls back to reveal that he’s being “interrogated” by Chuck.
TIM: Boil me in oil! Tear my skin off, strip by strip…and you won’t get nothin’ from me…’cause I’m tellin’ you the truth!
CHUCK: Sure, sure…but where is Bob now?
TIM: He went out the back door, just like I said! And he told me to tell you to follow him!
“And he also ordered me to hit you in the back of the head with this heavy object when your guard was down, giving you a concussion! Scout’s honor!”
CHUCK: Yeah, I know what you said—but why did he leave here in the first place?
TIM: He said he saw someone lookin’ in that window…
CHUCK: If you’re lyin’, you hog’s head…I’ll be back…
Ooh, I like that, Timmy…maybe that’s what you should rename your establishment…The Hog’s Head… Running out the back door and into an alley, Chuck finds a couple of Bork’s goons (Sherry Hall, Crane Whitley) waiting for him, and they try to kidnap him at gunpoint. Chuck gets in a lucky punch and scampers away like a rabbit as the scene fades to black….then shifts to Chatterton’s office.
BORK: Of course, as I’m Swedish…the idea of another war seems less real to me, perhaps, then it does to you…
CHATTERTON: Yes…Sweden
The first time I listened to the muddy soundtrack on this chapter, I could have sworn he said “horribly at peace.”
CHATTERTON: …but these Nazi agents…
(Chatterton is interrupted by the arrival of a shaken Chuck)
CHUCK: Where’s Pam?
CHATTERTON: Well, I’ve been waiting for her here…ever since Mr. Elliot called from the riverfront to tell me you and she were safe…
CHUCK: Haven’t you heard from Bob since?
CHATTERTON: No, not a word…
BORK (rising from her chair): Gentlemen, if you will excuse me…
“I have some torturing of prisoners to attend to…and then I need to pick up my dry cleaning…”
Chatterton escorts Bork out and Chuck is joined by Chatterton’s loyal aide de camp Rogers…who as played by character great Cyril Delevanti is far too classy for this nonsense. The phone rings:
CHATTERTON: What was it, Rogers
“And what did I tell you about taking personal phone calls at the office?”
CHATTERTON: Dead?
Oh, please let Pam be dead…I am so sick of her fake British accent…
Damn it! I can’t catch a break…
CHUCK: Bob is gone, too…
And the title card reveals just where those two crazy kids have ended up…in the fiendish clutches of Bork’s diabolical Nazi stooge Lang (Douglass Dumbrille), accompanied by two more employees (John Merton, Lee Phelps) from the Nazi temp agency known as Thugpower:
LANG: It doesn’t pay, Elliot, to be curious about Germany…you’ve wanted to find out about us for a long time…you won’t have to wait any longer than tomorrow…
NAZI TEMP: Is there another prisoner coming?
LANG: Yes…Elliot’s old friend, Mr. Kelly…I don’t think old friends should be separated…
I suspect that deep down, Lang’s a sensitive guy…the kind of person who keeps stuffed animals on his bed and writes bad poetry in journals. Dumbrille’s Lang then has a line that made me chuckle—“I must depart now!”—and he leaves orders with the mine henchies not to let Bob or Pam escape.
I think the explanation for why this particular chapter seems so deliriously dizzy is that it’s almost like there’s some footage missing. The total running time is only fifteen minutes (most of the other chapters, with the exception of the first, run 17-18) and the transitions often have a disjointed feel to them. There’s a cut to Dr, Bork’s office, in which our favorite pretend Swede is reading a magazine (Third Reich Botany Monthly) while her assistant Denker (Walter Bonn) trims some plantlery in the background. There is a knock on the door, and Lang enters.
BORK: How are Elliot and Miss Courtney?
LANG: They’re ready for you…what about Kelly?
BORK: He escaped our man…but I shall question the other two in the morning…
Lang kind of sinks into a chair with a weary sigh, almost as if it’s a real drudge being a Nazi eight hours a day. (Now, I need to warn you—this next exchange of dialogue is going to be more of that stilted bushwa about how they need to shake down Godac (Clinton Rosemond) for the secret of the Sword of Tongu, yakkity yakkity yak. It would be the perfect time to nip out to the kitchen for a snack.)
BORK: And now…tell me about your magnificent success in the jungle…what about Godac?
LANG: He has agreed to cooperate with us fully…he will name Maati to succeed him…
BORK: Godac must know that Maati was willing to kill him…
DENKER: What do we really want of Godac?
Honest to my grandma—doesn’t anybody ever pay attention during this serial? (And what’s this “we” business, flower boy?)
BORK (with derisive dismissal): Why, the secret, of course…that gives him his power as supreme judge of the middle jungle tribes…
LANG (to Denker): The hiding place, that is, of the Sword of Tongu…he cannot act as judge of the middle jungle unless he carries that sword…
BORK: I shall let Berlin
Wouldn’t it be smarter to wait until he’s actually achieved something? I imagine those long distance secret-fireplace-telephone calls must be murder…
LANG: One thing more…
BORK: Yes?
LANG: Godac has agreed to order the execution of Lothel…
The mystery queen of the jungle?
LANG: …the mystery queen of the jungle…
Well, that can’t be good. (We’ll have to change the name of the serial, for one thing. Universal did, by the way…to “Jungle Safari” when it was re-edited as a television-distributed feature version in 1956.) We are then taken to the very cave where not-so-powerful Godac is being kept watch over by Muller (George Eldredge) and Heinkel (Peter Heimers), two stooges in Lang’s employ.
GODAC: Is it customary for Germany
MULLER (after glancing knowingly at his partner): You’ll be released, Godac, as soon as Lang knows that you’re telling the truth…
GODAC: Then I will be free soon…Maati will find the Sword of Tongu where I told him to look for it…
HEINKEL: I won’t be sorry leaving these caves…
Heinkel is one cranky Nazi. As he and Muller walk back out near the cave entrance where they spend most of their time playing cards, he starts to piss and moan: “Another game…another game of cards…am I tired of this job…” We then switch back to Godac’s “cell,” where he is conferring with none other than the mystery queen of the jungle herownself:
LOTHEL: Neither Maati nor the strangers have discovered that you’re leading them to their destruction…
GODAC: It’s the only way, Lothel, to rid our jungle of these enemies and traitors…
Quick cut to Muller and Heinkel, at their card game:
MULLER: Control of the natives means helping Germany Africa …
HEINKEL: Those enemies who are in Europe …
Quick cut to Lang in the jungle, who is with treacherous native chieftain Maati (Napoleon Simpson):
LANG: That’s why I came back here purposely, Maati…to see that nothing goes wrong…
MAATI: I have fixed everything…
LANG: How about the Sword of Tongu?
MAATI: I saw the sword where Godac said it was…
LANG: We’ll bring Godac back here tomorrow…
Kind of an interesting way (the whole quick cut thing) to present material that gets rehashed every week.. It doesn’t work, of course, but directors Ray Taylor and Lewis D. Collins should get a prop or two for trying something different.
Meanwhile, back at Tim’s, Chuck is turning up the heat on the proprietor of the town’s most flea-ridden dive…and that’s really not a good idea, making him even sweatier…
CHUCK: You’re a Nazi, Tambosa Tim…
TIM: Oh, I am now? Prove it!
CHUCK: Chatterton was right…he said I couldn’t, so I won’t even try…
Chuck reaches around for his pistol, and the constable accompanying him admonishes him: “Nothing unlawful, sir…” (Nice use of “good cop/bad cop,” Charles!)
TIM: You can’t scare Tambosa Tim that easy…
“Me, on the other hand…I’m going to need a change of clothing…”
TIM: Kill me and the English law will hang you for it!
CHUCK: That won’t help you…now where are the Nazis holding my friends? (Tim looks helplessly at the constable) There’s nothing he can do now…
TIM: I guess you mean it…there’s an old mine south of here…you’ll find your friends there…together with some guns from Captain Drake’s schooner…
CONSTABLE (shaking his head in assent): There’s only one mine, sir…
CHUCK (pointing his gun at Tim): If you’re not telling the truth…
TIM: I am…this time!
CHUCK: Then you’ve also confessed being a Nazi…
CONSTABLE: Then I arrest you in the name of His Majesty the King…
Thank you, Smythington. You can go back to writing parking meter tickets now. As it turns out, Chuck was only fooling about killing ol’ Timmy—he then takes the time to remove the bullets from his gun:
CHUCK: You’re in deep…if I were you, I’d talk…
TIM: Talk about what…?
CHUCK: Who’s in charge of Nazi agents? Here in Tambosa?
We know from years of watching Charlie Chan and other movie sleuths that anytime someone’s about to rat out the person responsible, the stoolie gets a bullet for his trouble. And that’s perzactly what happens to Tim, who slumps forward at his desk, dead. Out in the alley, one of the mooks who tried to rough Chuck up earlier runs away, and catches up with Doc Bork, who’s behind the wheel of her Woody:
ASSASSIN: I got Tim and gave Kelly the slip…nobody’s following me now…but Kelly knows about the mine…
BORK: You fool! You listened—I ordered you to shoot!
ASSASSIN: I didn’t think Tambosa Tim would talk…and if he hadn’t…
BORK: Who asked you to think? Now I must sacrifice all ammunitions…Kelly will take constables through the mine…
ASSASSIN: Yes, but…
BORK: I will not let the English have our supplies! Fortunately, I have prepared for just such an unpleasant emergency…
I don’t know what it was about that last line that made me laugh…maybe it’s because I was picturing Bork running through worst case scenarios (“Suppose Kelly isn’t as stupid as I originally suspected…? I must have a Plan B!”). “Kelly will never see his friends again,” intones Dr. Bork, having finished the dressing-down of her goon.
Back at Chatterton’s, Brammy hands his car keys to Chuck as he issues orders on the phone: “Yes, you better send two more cars…what? Oh, yes—send at least six constables! Mr. Elliot and Miss Courtney must be saved!” (Groan…)
Meanwhile, Dr. Bork chugs along in her Woody…
Cut to Bob and Pamela trying to free themselves at the mine (“If only those Nazis will stay outside a little longer,” she whines, referring to the guards)…
Here comes Chuck!
 |
| Hey! It's John Merton! |
Bob breaks free of his bonds with his brute serial strength…and then he frees Pamela. But it’s too late! The mine goons have returned, and engage Bob in a fierce exchange of pummeling!
Meanwhile, Doc Bork shoves some weeds aside and unveils this baby! (Well, you probably could have guessed it from the title chapter.) She begins to fire off bombs in the direction of the shack that holds Bob and Pam prisoner…
perhaps you should attempt a second search, Robert.
ReplyDeleteThey never do! That's how they keep the serial going, by NEVER LOOKING A SECOND TIME!
Also, Drake knew that was Bob because his spirit was half out of his body already, floating about the place and waiting for the scene to end already.