The Green Hornet – Chapter 12: Panic in the Zoo

OUR STORY SO FAR: Britt Reid (Gordon Jones), investigating sabotage directed against the shipping business of young John Roberts (Jerry Marlowe), disguises as The Green Hornet and causes the arrest of Max Gregory (Frederick Vogeding), illicit munitions dealer.  The racketeers strike back by attacking a trainload shipment being made by young Roberts.  Reid, masked as The Green Hornet with Kato (Keye Luke) driving the “black beauty,” pursues the train, boards it at full speed, and attacks the gangsters.  But during the fight, Roberts’ cars, uncoupled by the gangsters, roll back down the mountainside and…

…take a massive tumble into a ravine that I don’t think any mere mortal would survive—with the possible exception of The Phantom Creeps’ Regis Toomey, who probably just would laugh and brush himself off after the experience.  In the world of serials, “cheats” are commonplace (a “cheat” defined as the way the hero escapes from a chapter-ending predicament, usually by presenting the viewer with information that wasn’t present the preceding week) but this penultimate chapter of The Green Hornet (1940) has one of the most blatant of them all.  The Hornet, who’s been tussling with henchman Corey (Gene Rizzi) during the “rolling back down the mountainside” train sequence…conveniently rolls off the train himself (along with Corey), sparing his swift descent into the canyon.

However, the last seconds of the previous chapter shows the Har-nut and the Henchman spinning, spinning, spinning inside the caboose as it plummets into the ravine.  (Cheaters never prosper, filmmakers.)

I forgot to tell you—not only did it fall down into a ravine…there was a river to break its fall below.  (This would have left the Toomster just a little damp.)

But let’s get back to the serial: Kato pulls up in the Hornet’s ride, and races to where the Hornet lies on the ground, with his costume all dirty.

KATO: You all right, Mr. Britt?

HORNET: Yes…no one was hurt…there were only two of us on the platform…look around here…I had one of the crooks, but lost him when we fell…

Butterfingers.  Well, as Corey is starting to come to he hears angry voices in the distance.  From the soundtrack, you’d think it was a crowd storming the castle of Baron von Frankenstein (and considering it’s a Universal picture, it could very well have been) but the stock footage reveals it to be only a couple of train employees.  Corey slips away in the darkness, which would be a good plan of action for the Hornet as well:

KATO: Some people are coming this way!

HORNET: I can’t be found here…where’s the car?

“They may want autographs!”  Kato and the Hornet make tracks for the Black Beauty, and successfully escape from the enraged mob of engineers.  The scene then shifts to the old familiar Bradley Building…

…where criminal kingpin Curtis Monroe (Cy Kendall) and his flunky Joe Ogden (Arthur Loft) are getting a report from their man Corey.

COREY: …the Hornet attacked me before we could uncouple Roberts’ cars…then the train broke in two on the grade…but Roberts’ stuff in the front section went through safely…

Um…that’s not what it says in the recap crawl at the beginning of the chapter.  Curt…I think your employee is fibbing to you.

OGDEN: Then we can thank the Green Hornet for breaking our hold on young Roberts…

MONROE: And that isn’t all…Max Gregory was taken by the G-men last night…look at there…

Son of a gun…he’s right!

MONROE: The Sentinel was the only paper that had this story…there’s some connection there…

OGDEN: Whaddya mean?

MONROE: Just this…the Green Hornet uses The Sentinel as a mouthpiece…

Actually…it’s more like a mouthwash.

MONROE: …makes a hero of himself through publicity…we’ve got to stop that by silencing The Sentinel…

And so we shift our attention to the paper of record, with all the stock newspaper footage (people working in offices, printing press workers, etc.) we can handle until we enter the office of publisher Britt Reid.  He’s seated at his desk, with secretary Lenore “Casey” Case (Anne Nagel) at his side…when ace reporter Jasper Jenks (Philip Trent) bursts in.

JENKS: Say…look here, boss—Gunnigan tells me you killed my story on the Cooper Zoo…

REID: That’s right…

JENKS: But listen…that’s a good yarn!  The place is jinxed, I tell ya!  Accidents every few days…some of the animals die without any good reason—a bear broke loose the other day and mauled a customer!

REID (getting up from his desk): The Cooper Zoo and Carnival is the only playground in this city…

The only playground?  No wonder you have a crime problem in that burg—impressionable young children have no outlet for recreation like monkey bars and swings…

REID: …if we print that article, we’ll put them out of business…

Yeah, I’m sure that alone and not the bear mauling would be the reason for the drop-off in carnival receipts.

JENKS: Yes, but if it’s true that the place is jinxed…

REID: It isn’t true…and I don’t believe in jinxes…if things are happening out there, there’s a reason for it…go find the reason, and then publish the story… (To Casey) Get Cooper on the phone for me, please…

CASEY: Yes, sir…

Casey phones the zoo, but is told that the boss is down at the docks, accepting a shipment of animals.  “Maybe we can catch him there,” remarks Reid, as he rises from his desk and grabs his hat.  “My car is right outside…come on, Jenks.”

The next scenes involve liberal use of stock footage, as stevedores are glimpsed moving crates off a ship, the precious cargo being lions and tigers and bears (oh my!).  Reid and Jenks watch from a distance as a crate falls…

…and crashes on the platform below.  Check out the guy in the above screen cap; he bears a strong resemblance to a character we’re going to meet later in the serial—I’ll let you be the judge as to whether it’s him or not.  Jenks seizes upon this accident to prove his earlier argument with his boss: “That’s what I mean!  It’s a jinx, I tell ya!”

Reid tries to stay cool as the escaped tiger starts terrorizing extras via more stock footage.  “Somebody’s gotta stop that beast—come on!” he tells his reporter.  Reid is apparently laboring under the delusion that he’s some sort of superhero—fortunately, some enterprising guy from the crowd (who’s seen his share of Clyde Beatty pictures) grabs a chair and cane and herds the tiger into an office, where he shuts and locks the door.

REID: He trapped him…

JENKS: Yeah…but something else will happen…

REID: I don’t think this is the right time to talk to Cooper…I’ll make an appointment to see him this evening at the zoo…

The scene then changes to…Camden Park!  At the sign of the happy clown!  Okay, I’m just joking about that—Camden Park was, of course, a popular amusement park from my youth…and because it was located about an hour away in Huntington, WV, going there was a big hairy deal when I was a kid.  (My parents never miss the chance to mention the time I rode this ride called the Cloud Nine and upon getting off, regurgitated my lunch in a fashion that would have put Linda Blair to shame.)  When I was attending Marshall University in my college days, Camden Park was just a hop, skip and a jump away so it kind of lost its novelty by then…but one afternoon, my paisan Jeff Lane and I happened to be there and we ran into our advisor from the Speech-Broadcasting department…who also doubled as the promotions director for the park.  He gave us a buttload of ride tickets and set us up with some Pronto Pups (corn dogs) and Cokes…then mentioned that it would be kind of nice if we talked about our experience on our radio show the next morning.  (And that was my introduction to payola.)

Anyway, Jenks and Mike Axford (Wade Boteler) are strolling the carnival-zoo fairground stock footage, when Axford spots this poster:

Yowsah!  They never had anything like that at Camden Park when I was a kid.

JENKS: Come on, Mike…Cooper’s office is down this way…

AXFORD: Wait a minute…I wanna look at this!

JENKS (grabbing his arm and pulling him away): You got no business to see it…you came in on a press pass!

So let’s introduce the two men in this office.  The seated gentleman is the boss of the zoo/carnival, Cooper, and he’s played by an unsung thespian named James Blaine who turns up in a lot of bit parts in films of the 1930s and 1940s—he’s better known for roles in Universal’s western serials like Flaming Frontiers, The Oregon Trail and Riders of Death Valley.  It’s the other guy who should generate our interest: as blackmailer “Lefty Bates,” John Harmon has an arm-long list of movie and TV credits…and Mayberry Mondays fans saw him not too long ago as a patient alongside hospitalized county clerk Howard Sprague (Jack Dodson) in the episode “The Health Fund.”  I’ll just say this, though: if that guy in the previously displayed screen capture of panicked people at the docks isn’t Harmon it’s his twin brother.

BATES: That’s the last word, Cooper…up till now we’ve just been playin’ with you…givin’ you a little bit of hard luck…but unless you come across with five grand by tomorrow night—the Cooper Zoo is going out of business…

COOPER: But I can’t raise the money!  The shows haven’t made a cent since those accidents started!

BATES: I’m not interested in your hard luck stories…

“…despite the fact that I’m responsible…”

BATES: …unless you come across with five grand by tomorrow night…

Lefty is interrupted by the ringing of the telephone on Cooper’s desk.  Cooper answers it, and is informed by the person on the other end that the “boys from The Sentinel” are there to see him.  Lefty is not on board with this idea.

BATES (holding his hand over the phone) Nix…

COOPER: Wait a minute…I’ve got an appointment with those fellas!

BATES: Forget it!  Tell ‘em you can’t see ‘em…

COOPER: Okay… (Into the phone) Tell Jenks I’m sorry I can’t see him…

“That’s better,” Bates assures Cooper.  “Talking to those reporters from The Sentinel is as dangerous as talking to the police…”

Well, that’s not technically true…but you have to admire Jenks and Axford—they are two men who do not know the meaning of the word “quit.”  (In the case of Axford…it’s just the beginning of a lengthy list of words with which he is unfamiliar.)  Both of them enter the office to confront Cooper and his guest.

COOPER: I told you I couldn’t see you…

JENKS: Yeah, I know…but you can’t do that to me…I’m here by appointment, and I want an interview on those… (He pauses briefly after spotting Lefty) …accidents you’ve been having…

COOPER: I’ve nothing to say!

AXFORD: And why not?  Is there somethin’ phony about your show you don’t want folks to learn about?

(As Axford engages Cooper in argument, Jenks steps back until he’s up against the wall.  With a small camera in his hands, he surreptitiously snaps a photo of Lefty)

BATES: All right, Cooper—get these men out of here…my business is important!

AXFORD: No man with an honest business need be afraid to talk to The Sentinel!  But if you’re tryin’ to cover up anything…

JENKS (interrupting him): That’ll do, Mike…you know we reporters never try to force interviews from people…

AXFORD: You don’t what?

JENKS: Sorry, Cooper…better luck next time…come on, Mike…

As Jenks and Axford exit, Lefty tries to assuage any fears on Cooper’s part.  “Forget those guys…The Sentinel is going to be taken care of shortly.”  He then reminds him that he needs to have that five large by tonight, and takes his leave of his victim.

Jenks and Axford are soon back at the fairground…

AXFORD: Hey…where do you get that stuff—“reporters never force interviews”…

JENKS: Mike, I wanted to get out…unless I miss my guess, that other guy in there was Lefty Bates, who did a stretch for extortion and blackmail three years ago!

Jenks takes off in the direction of the exit, and Axford does a cute bit of business where he starts staring at the earlier poster again…before giving up and following his friend.  The scene then shifts back to Reid’s office…where a letter he’s dictating to Casey is interrupted by the arrival of Gunnigan (Joe Whitehead), The Sentinel’s editor:

GUNNIGAN (carrying a photo from the “morgue”): Here’s the picture of Lefty Bates we made when he was convicted… (He hands it to Reid)

REID: What about the one Jenks took down at the zoo?

GUNNIGAN: He’s havin’ it developed… (Jenks rushes into the office) Here he is now…

JENKS (handing Reid the photo): Here you are, boss…if that isn’t a picture of Lefty Bates, then I’m losing my memory…

REID: Nothing wrong with your memory, Jenks…that’s the man, all right…

JENKS: Ah, that’s fine…now I’ll give the police a tip and…

REID: Easy there!  Sure, he’s an ex-con…but that doesn’t mean that he’s doing anything illegal now…

Yeah…cops never rousted ex-cons back in the old days.  It simply wasn’t done, my good man.

JENKS: But the guy’s workin’ some sort of protection racket at the zoo…why, the way he talked to Cooper it’s ten to one he’s got something on him…

REID: You’re probably right…but until you bring me concrete evidence The Sentinel cannot make a charge…

JENKS: Oh, I’ll get you evidence all right…and a story that’ll bust his racket wide open!

And we head back to the Bradley Building…and in this next screen capture, I just noticed something that’s a little enigmatic.  Why are these guys always having to stand around Monroe’s desk when they get a message from “The Chief”, the intercom voice who appears to be in charge of the whole show?  I mean—with that little syndicate they’re running, you mean to tell me they can’t afford a conference room or something?  Oh, well…let’s listen to his instructions…

CHIEF: Sentinel reporters visited the Cooper Zoo today…I’ve made arrangements for the silencing of Britt Reid…Bates will collect five thousand dollars from Cooper tonight…have enough men at the zoo grounds to take care of things in case of interference…that’s all…

“Dean will get in touch with Bates to find out what arrangements have been made and then join the rest of you at the zoo,” Monroe tells a contingent of henchies that also includes Corey, Andy the Thug (Ralph Dunn) and Pete the Coward (John Kelly).  So as the Goon Quartet departs to make much mischief at the fairgrounds, we take a quick side trip to the penthouse apartment of publisher Reid, who is donning his Hornet regalia in an effort to extricate the information from Cooper that duly constituted law enforcement authorities cannot.

KATO: There is danger in the Hornet visiting the zoo, Mr. Britt…there are too many people…too much light…

REID: You forget there’s a carnival there, Kato…a lot of the performers will be wearing masks…so it’s the one spot in this city where the Green Hornet might go among others…unnoticed!

Well…that and the comic convention being held downtown, I suppose.  Oh, to any future realtors out there: if the house you’re going to show me doesn’t have secret passageways like the ones in The Green Hornet…I’m not interested.

Zipping up and down country roads in the Black Beauty, the Hornet and Kato rush to the scene of stock footage that’s either a Mardi Gras celebration or a WVU tailgate party—I can’t exactly make out which.  Meanwhile, Jenks and Axford are strolling along the midway where they see such familiar sights as

…the fat lady…

…cooch dancers…

…you get the idea.  “What do you expect to do here?” asks Axford, as he munches on some popcorn purchased by Jenks.

“Well, find out who’s causing all the accidents and nab them,” Jenks retorts…and is rewarded with a scornful scoff from Reid’s ace bodyguard.  Meanwhile, the Black Beauty pulls up in a clearing near the fairground because Reid is too cheap to pay for parking.  “You’ll be safe here,” he assures Kato…who’s a little disappointed, as he was looking forward to riding the Tilt-a-Whirl.  As the Hornet gets closer to the midway, he can hear Jenks and Axford talking.  “Aw, we’re not doing any good here,” whines Michael.  “This is a job for the cops.”

“Yes, but the boss won’t let us call them in without more evidence,” Jenks explains.  Axford then stares off in the direction where the Hornet is standing, and runs over…whereas the Hornet makes himself scarce.  Jenks follows Axford, wanting to know what’s the matter.

AXFORD: I could have sworn I saw the Green Hornet!

JENKS: It’s just one of those chumps running around in a mask…

A change in scenery finds Cooper entering his office…carrying an envelope which would appear to be bulging with cash.  The Hornet, having made his way through the carnival crowd, enters Cooper’s domain and whips out not only his gas gun but this familiar calling card:

COOPER: The Green Hornet!  So you’ve been doing all the collecting for Bates and his gang!

HORNET (taking Cooper’s envelope): I collect for myself!

COOPER: Collect for yourself?  Then you don’t belong to Bates and his gang?  Give me back that money!  Why, they’ll wreck my zoo…they’ll kill me!

HORNET: Keep back!  I’ll take care of Bates…from now on you’re dealing with me…tell Bates that when he comes in here!

The Hornet leaves Cooper’s office…leaving its occupant to contemplate how seriously—seriously—boned he is.  But a change of scenery to the outside midway provides a small chuckle as Corey, Andy and Pete meet up with Dean (Walter McGrail).  (The sight of these four hoods hanging out at a carnival just gave me the giggles, I guess.)

COREY: Where’s Bates?

DEAN: Down to collect from Cooper…

ANDY: Yeah?  And suppose Cooper don’t come across?

DEAN (glancing at his watch): I’m to meet Bates by the cat cages in five minutes…if he isn’t there, we go to the office and find out why…

So the four of them walk off, passing up a chance to win a baby doll at the booth behind them.  The Hornet has returned to the Black Beauty, and he hands off Cooper’s envelope to Kato.

KATO: Ready, Mr. Britt?

HORNET: Not yet…here…take this five thousand dollars protection money…it belongs to Cooper…be ready for a quick getaway…

“I’m ready for a quick getaway right now!  Five large is just enough to help me start a new life in another town…”  The Hornet returns to the fairgrounds, and after that umpteenth shot through the gate of people dancing and partying we’re inside Cooper’s office, where the poor boob forlornly sits at his desk.  He receives a visitor in Mr. Bates.

BATES: All right, Cooper…let’s have that dough…come on, make it snappy—the boys are waiting…

COOPER: But I…I haven’t got it!

“My dog ate it!  And my homework!”

BATES: You’re lying to me, Cooper…I’ve had you trailed since I left today!  My boys were in the bank with you when you cashed the check!

COOPER: That’s true…but I gave the money to The Green Hornet!

BATES: The Green Hornet?

COOPER: Yes…he was here ahead of you!  (He holds up the Hornet’s card) I thought he came from you!

BATES (grabbing Cooper by his lapels): You’re lying!

COOPER: No!

BATES: You can’t stall me with that cock-and-bull story!  Come across or I’ll tip off the boys and they’ll wreck your show!

HORNET (entering the office): I don’t think you will, Bates!

“That’s Master Bates to you, chum!”  The Hornet gets the drop on Lefty…so Lefty tries to negotiate a deal.

BATES: What do you want?

HORNET: A signed statement concerning your protection racket…

BATES: I’ll sign nothing…I don’t even know what you’re talking about!

HORNET: Oh, yes you do…I just heard what you told Cooper…I want it on paper, and I’ll give you ten seconds to put it there!

I think the Hornet is starting to become aware that he’s only got one more chapter to go in this thing, so his deadlines are getting a little tighter.  Lefty sits down at Cooper’s desk…but just can’t bring himself to confess…

HORNET: Now write!  “I…Lefty Bates…ex-convict…”

“Taker of the last piece of toast…a man who continuously leaves the toilet seat up…”

LEFTY: No…I won’t do it!

HORNET: Write!

The scene fades as Lefty picks up his pen a second time.  More Mardi Gras footage leads to Dean, Corey, Pete and Andy standing near the cages where the wild lions and tigers are kept.  “One of those babies get loose it’d make this crowd stir their legs,” remarks Pete—which is I guess a polite way of saying there would be more than a few involuntary bowel movements.  “More than one of ‘em will get loose if Cooper makes any trouble,” warns Dean.  He then glances at his watch again: “Bates oughta be here by now…come on, Corey—let’s take a look.”

The four of them start to saunter over to Cooper’s office—just at the same time Axford and Jenks are also making their rounds among the fairway crowd.

JENKS: Oh…we might as well go home…

AXFORD: Yeah…I think we had… (He stops, noticing the goons walking across from him) Hey—look over there by the popcorn wagon!  Two of them guys was in the car stealin’ racket!

JENKS: I’d better get a cop!

AXFORD: Cop, is it?  Haven’t I been a cop half me life?  Come on!

Oh…I have a bad feeling about this.  Yeah, Axford may have been on the force…but that doesn’t mean he was a competent cop.  As he and Jasper meet up with the racketeers, he warns Dean: “One minute, you mugs—I want a word with you!”

“Sentinel men!” Andrew T. Thug cries out.  “Get ‘em!”

So a fight breaks out…and we’ve seen Axford and Jenks in fights before—both of them couldn’t punch their way through Cool Whip.  Despite a valiant try at vanquishing the bad guys, the popcorn wagon is knocked over in the tussle…and this happens…

Damn it…this is why we can’t have nice things.  Back in Cooper’s office, Lefty has just finished with his confessional manifesto when the three men hear the panicky crowd outside.  Reid looks out the window and sees this…

Boy…that didn’t take long.  What did they do, soak the zoo in kerosene?  (By the way, the footage in that screen cap turns up later in Road to Rio.)  And that weren’t bad enough…the fire is making the tigers a little antsy.

Dean and Corey arrive in Cooper’s office and, seeing the Hornet, commence to firing.  The Hornet jumps the two henchmen, and after Dean hits him with a chair, a donnybrook breaks out in the office between the Hornet, Dean, Corey, Bates and Cooper.  What’s going on in there is mild compared to outside, though…

Stampeding elephants!

Man crushed by crowd!

People wanting their money back!

Cheeta locked up (well, it kinda looks like her)!

That zoo is certainly flammable.  Back in the office, the participants in the fight start to throw punches in slow motion as the room fills with fake smoke.  Cooper runs out of the room and exits out the office door, prompting Bates to yell out to Dean and Corey: “Stop Cooper!  I’ve got the Hornet!”  Pandemonium continues outside…why, it’s almost like a panic at the zoo!  And then the lions and tigers break out of their cages…

“Oh, the lion and the tiger should be friends…”  Fake flames are now raging away as the Hornet continues to battle the scrappy Lefty in Cooper’s office—because if you believe this shot, there soon won’t be much of that office left…