OUR STORY SO FAR: Britt Reid (Gordon Jones), battling the crime ring in a mayoralty election, secures evidence that ballot boxes have been “stuffed.” The “ring” candidate is elected, and The Sentinel demands a court order for a recount. Monroe (Cy Kendall) hurries his henchmen to seize and destroy the ballots. But The Green Hornet gets possession of the ballots and starts with them in an armored car to a safe hiding place, pending the court’s order.
…the armored vehicle falls fender first into a ravine, prompting the henchmen responsible to do a dance in the end zone. Okay, that might be a slight exaggeration—but Andrew T. Thug (Ralph Dunn) and his polka-dot tie partner are positively exuberant at seeing the Hornet die in a horrible car wreck. “That takes care of the Hornet,” crows Andy. “Now to get those ballots out of the wreck and destroy them!”
Not so fast, my fine feathered henchman! The buzzing sound of the Black Beauty’s motor
can be heard in the distance, as faithful valet Kato (Keye Luke) is tearing up
mountain roads to catch up to his boss.
“Scram out of here, quick!” Andy tells his partner, and they quickly
become vapor. Kato pulls up to a process
screen just as the Hornet is getting to his feet—suck on that, Regis Toomey!
HORNET: No…those armored cars are
built for protection…
Well…perhaps. But
they’re not built for people to drive
over a cliff, hoping to walk away without a scratch afterward. The Hornet and Kato then hear sirens in the
distance.
KATO: The police!
HORNET: Good! They’ll take the ballots in the armored car
and keep them until the court order to impound them comes through…
We got a glimpse of the cops driving along the same mountain
road destination…but how do the Hornet and Kato know they’re cops? It could
be more of Monroe ’s henchmen,
driving a car with a fake siren and laughing their asses off at having fooled
our heroes. Still, the Hornet is a
gambling man…and his bet pays off, as we witness in these screaming Sentinel headlines:
Naturally, this news does not come as a panacea to criminal kingpin Curtis Monroe…but you’d think with the empire he’s running in that town he could afford to start a rival paper to counteract all that do-gooder Sentinel propaganda. We find him in his
OGDEN: Better get in touch with Max
Gregory and tell him to take it easy…if the Hornet discovers he’s sending
munitions out of the country, we’ll have the G-men on us as well as the police…and the Hornet!
GREGORY: Young Roberts is making
things difficult…I was about to go
and see him…perhaps you could suggest some way of putting on pressure…
We never get an answer to this question because a screen
wipe then shows us Britt Reid tooling along metropolitan streets in his merry
automobile with his bodyguard and comic relief Michael Axford (Wade Boteler)
riding shotgun.
AXFORD: With the new mayor in office, we got the hoodlums on the run…maybe now we can take a little time off and run down the Green Hornet…heh heh heh…
REID: That’s a pretty large
order—isn’t it, Michael? What do you
want me to do—give you six months’ vacation with pay or something?
AXFORD: Six months, is it? Give me six
days and I’ll run the spalpeen to end…
Axford becomes distracted by the sound of sirens, and glancing back sees stock footage of fire engines en route to more stock footage of that National Produce Company building ablaze, as mentioned by BBFF Stacia in her current write-up of The Phantom Creeps (Chapter 8: “Trapped in the Flames”). (This serial also used the same footage when the bad guys were burning down the Lynch Clothing and Dyeing establishment in Chapter 9.) Reid and Axford pull over to the side of the street to get a better look, and as the stock footage burns on…
AXFORD: John Roberts? The young fella whose brother was killed by
the racketeers?
REID: Yeah!
As told in Chapter 7, in case you need a refresher.
AXFORD: Well, do you think the same
gang maybe started this fire?
REID: Very likely…you go in there
and find out all you can about who did
start that fire…I’m going to John’s office…
Back in the write-up for Chapter 7, I wasn’t able to
identify the actor who played the part of John Roberts…but new information has
come to light, and the role of Johnny is essayed by actor Jerry Marlowe. For reasons I can’t quite fathom, the IMDb
identifies his character’s name as “Bob Stafford”—I don’t where the hell they
came up with that. (Oh, and I do
apologize to those of you out there whose faith in the infallibility of the
IMDb has been shaken…there was no malice meant, I assure you. What?
You did not see me with my
fingers crossed, you big fibber…) Anyway, let’s eavesdrop on a telephone conversation
inside Bob Stafford’s John Roberts’ office.
JOHNNY (on the phone): …you say
you’ve got the fire under control? You
don’t know how it started… (Reid
enters Roberts’ office while his conversation continues) All right…I’ll have
the insurance people come down…thanks… (He hangs up the phone and then looks
up) Britt Reid! Gosh, am I glad to see
you!
“Where’s that twenty you owe me, you deadbeat?!!”
REID: Hello, John…I overheard your
phone conversation…so that fire did
cause you considerable damage…?
JOHNNY: Yes…of course, my insurance
will cover the actual loss…but I’ll
lose a lot of important customers …and…well…
REID: Spill it!
JOHNNY (angrily getting up from his
desk): That fire wasn’t
accidental! Someone’s trying to drive me
into line same as they did Charles…
REID: What’s the racket?
JOHNNY: Well, it’s this way: I’ve
kept this business up to the standard that Charles set…as you know, we do a lot
of shipping by rail and carload lots…well, the other day a fellow came in and
demanded that I allow him to ship under my bill of laden…wanted to commandeer my space…
REID: What do you mean?
JOHNNY: Well, if I was sending two cars, he’d take over one…wouldn’t tell me who he was or what
he was shipping but he made it clear that I’d have trouble if I refused…
REID: Hmm…so that fire was the
result of your refusal?
JOHNNY: I’m sure of it…oh, there’s
been a series of smaller attacks—breakdowns of trucks, attacks on my drivers…
REID: You notify the police?
JOHNNY: No…you remember what
happened to Charles when he went to
the police…
Actually, I do remember…Charles (Kenneth Harlan) went to
Britt Reid, not the gendarmes…and someone busted a cap in his ass as a
result. A screen wipe finds us back at
Max Gregory’s, where Dean (Walter McGrail), Henchman of the Year for three
years running, has entered the office.
GREGORY: Very well done, Dean…this
fire will bring young Mr. Roberts to terms…
I didn’t know Henry
Fonda was in this serial! (Look
away, Stacia!)
GREGORY: Very good…I’ll talk again
to Roberts tomorrow…
DEAN: Better not…he knows you, and
now might spring something…let me handle it…
GREGORY: All right!
Why do you think they call them “henchmen” in the first
place? Back at Acme Transportation, our
heroic newspaper publisher is working on being one step ahead of Max Gregory
and his goons. He’s arranged for ace Sentinel reporter Jasper Jenks
(Philip Trent) to hide in Charles Roberts’ former office while brother Johnny
raps with the representative who’s planning to come by and discuss his
shakedown…
JOHNNY: I sure appreciate this,
Britt…
REID: Well, we’ve got to rid this
city of those crooks…see ya later…
There is then a scene dissolve to that same office, with
John hanging up the telephone and telling Jenks: “He’s on his way up now…better
get inside…” Jasper goes into the inner
office just as Dean makes his entrance.
DEAN (after giving the office the
once-over): You’re Roberts, huh?
JOHNNY: That’s right…what do you
want?
DEAN: Listen, buddy…you can save
yourself a lot of trouble…we made you
a proposition which you refused—but in view of what’s happened since…maybe
you’ve changed your mind…?
JOHNNY: You mean that you and your
crowd were responsible for that warehouse fire?
DEAN: Never mind that…
Oooh! Missed it by that much…
DEAN: …we’re givin’ you one last
chance to come in with us unconditionally…
JOHNNY: Yes…but I’ve got to know
what your name is and what you propose to ship…
DEAN: You wanna know too much…
Damn it! He’s a
crafty essobee. “Look out for trouble,”
are his parting words to young Roberts, and he exits the Acme office. Jenks emerges from his hideout in the inner
office, whereupon Johnny informs him: “Careful, Jenks—I think he suspected
something.”
He does indeed. Jenks starts to trail Dean, but Dean is onto him—and says as much once he reaches a waiting automobile whose passengers include Andy the Thug, Corey (Gene Rizzi) and Pete the Coward (John Kelly). “Sentinel reporter following me,” he tells his buddies. “Get him.” And they do just that—when Jenks walks by the car, Andy leaps out from the back to grab Jenks while Corey exits the vehicle from his shotgun position.
COREY: Just another scoop for The Sentinel…
He socks Jenks on the jaw…and though Jasper may be a
first-rate reporter, he’s a marshmallow when it comes to street fighting; he’s
knocked unconscious and Andy pulls him into the back seat of the car. Corey and Dean then get in and with the
rabbit-like Pete at the wheel the automobile pulls away.
It doesn’t look good for Jasper—but fortunately for him, his
boss has been watching all this from a few car lengths back; Reid has donned a
pair of sunglasses (the future’s so bright, you know) and Kato, who’s at the
wheel, is wearing his traditional “I-have-to-chauffeur-the-Hornet-around”
gear. “They got Jenks—step on it!” Reid
tells his valet, and the chase is on.
Well, it would be had Kato ignored the rules of the
road. Pausing to stop at a red light
like a thoughtful motorist (and not a guy trying to thwart an abduction), the
car carrying the kidnapped Jenks pulls ahead of Reid and Kato, and is soon out
of sight.
REID: Maybe not…I caught the
license number…
Oh, yeah…that will
stop those hoodlums from manhandling your star reporter, Britt. Reid’s kind of got a cavalier attitude about
this—maybe he was getting ready for mass staff layoffs and just figures he’s
caught a break. In the villains’ car,
Dean compliments Pete on his driving skills and then instructs him to take
Jenks to Max Gregory’s office. “Take him
up by the freight elevator in the rear,” he advises his pal.
In Gregory’s office, Max dictates a letter to an assistant…
GREGORY: “…and final negotiations
with Roberts are now underway…if all goes well, the shipment of bombs will go
forward at once”…that’s all…put it in code, and get it off immediately…
(Buzzing sound)
ASSISTANT: The private door, sir…
GREGORY: That will be Dean…with the
report on Roberts…let them in!
Gregory’s assistant goes over to “the private door” and
ushers in Dean, Corey, Pete and Andy…who are dragging a bound-and-gagged Jenks
with them.
DEAN: Sentinel man…Roberts had him planted to trail me…
GREGORY: What did you bring him up
here for?
DEAN: We’d no chance to get rid of
him…and…he knows too much to turn him
loose…
GREGORY: That means we’ve got to
strike at his shipment tonight! (To Andy and Pete) Throw him in that
closet! I’ll have him taken care of
later!
Andy and Pete carry Jenks into the closet like a cord of
wood, and then Gregory tells them: “At Clearwater Junction you’ll board a
train,” he barks. “You’ll get your final
instructions from Monroe .” The men exit at the fade-out, and then we are
whisked to the palatial penthouse pad of publisher Reid, who is just finishing
a phone call with “Thanks for your cooperation.”
REID (as he thumbs through a phone
book): Yes…it’s…registered to a Max Gregory… (He pauses as he scans a page):
Here it is…311 Gardner Building…
I’m guessing there was no office space available at the
Bradley the week Gregory set up shop.
Reid informs Kato that they’re going to pay a visit to the Teutonic
Terror…in the guise of the Green Hornet!
You know the drill by now…he suits up, heads out the secret passageway,
stock footage of car taking corners on two wheels, yadda yadda yadda.
GREGORY (to his assistant): Take a
message in wireless code…”Roberts has again balked…the train…carrying Roberts’
shipment…will be boarded at Clearwater
Junction…”
Lots of curves, you bet.
Even more when you get…to the junction.
GREGORY: “…at midnight tonight…Roberts’ cars…and everything behind them…will be
uncoupled on the long grade…west of summit”…that’s all…put it into code…
HORNET (entering the office through
the window): Never mind the code! I’ll take
it as it is!
ASSISTANT: The Green Hornet!
HORNET: Give it to me!
(The assistant looks at Gregory,
who nods assent. Assistant then removes
the paper from his typewriter and hands it to G.H.)
GREGORY: Glad to see you,
Hornet…we’ve decided we could make good use of you in our organization…if we
can come to terms…
HORNET: I’ll dictate the terms—I’m taking over your organization! I know all about it!
GREGORY: But the Green Hornet…might
need help…transporting secret munitions…
HORNET: Not from you, Gregory! All I want are the names of your associates!
GREGORY: All right…you have the
upper hand…I guess I have no other choice…
“Except to have my assistant futilely try to restrain you while I fake-hand you a list!” Yes, Maxie goes for that above gambit…and finds himself on the receiving end of a puff of smoke from the Hornet’s gas gun…
…and shaking the assistant off of him, he gives him a dose as well. As the Hornet starts to go through the unconscious Gregory’s pockets, Jasp emerges from the closet…and does something hysterically funny: he tries to hit the Hornet with a chair but G.H. manages to duck out of the way in time. The Hornet then looks at Jenks for a few seconds, as if to say: “And just what did you think you were going to accomplish with that?”
JENKS: I’m not one of this
outfit—I’m after it! I’m a reporter from The Sentinel…
HORNET: The Sentinel, eh?
That muckraking reform sheet…I
suppose you’re after the reward for
the capture of the Hornet!
JENKS: Reward or no reward, The Sentinel’s out to get you and
the rest of the crooks in this
town! You keep me here—the rest of this
gang’s gone out to wreck a train!
HORNET: And blame it on me,
eh? Well, I’ll take care of that—phone
the police…these men are wanted for munitions and gun running… (He cautiously
circles the room, trying to get to the door) And don’t try to follow me!
“I have a car waiting!”
When the Hornet exits, Jenks does a momentary bit of hesitation as to
whether to pursue his story or phone the authorities to mop up the two guys
passed out in the office…and phoning the authorities wins. Meanwhile, the Black Beauty races up those
oh-so-familiar mountain roads…but there’s a new twist in the scenario:
Yowsah! A thunderstorm! “Faster, Kato,” the Hornet tells his driver, “that storm is getting close!” And at Clearwater Junction, Corey, Pete and Andy watch stock footage of the same train from Chapter 2—I’ll bet that at the time they filmed two men jumping board the train (Dean and Corey) that they then filmed three men hopping the same freight not too long afterward. So our three goons are in the caboose, ordering the guys already in there to amscray usterbay “and jump!” (Might as well jump.) “Jump forward, you two,” Corey barks at Pete and Andy, “uncouple Roberts’ cars.” (Where is Dean during all this? Paperwork back at the Bradley?)
You will notice in the above screen cap, by the way, that both Andy and Pete are attired only in a pair of cheap suits. I will elaborate on this in a bit, but in the meantime…
….we have a stock shot of the Black Beauty zooming through the hills…only with a little rain superimposed over it…
…and a previously-used shot of the Hornet boarding the train (also from Chapter 2)…only with a little rain superimposed over it. Movies are magic, mon cher! But not so magical that they can explain this:
Yes, that’s Andy and Pete running along the top of the train…wearing rain slickers. Where did they come from? (Maybe they were concealed in those cheap suits, like Superman’s costume.)
Well, back to our story.
The Hornet has invaded Corey’s space in the caboose (even though the
previous shot shows him coming aboard mid-train—he must have doubled back), and
the henchman’s creative excuse for his presence on the train is good for a
healthy chuckle:
COREY: The Green Hornet!
It ain’t The Masked Marvel, kiddies.
HORNET: Talk fast! Who’s on this job
with you and where are they?
COREY: What job? You got me all wrong…I’m just bumming a ride!
“I’m a hobo in a three-piece!”
HORNET: You’re here to wreck this train… (Pointing the gas gun
at him) Spill it, or take the consequences!
COREY: No! Don’t shoot…I’ll talk…the others are up
front…
Yes indeedy they are!
And having uncoupled the necessary cars, the jostling in the caboose
knocks the Hornet off balance, allowing Corey a slight advantage in their
tussle that follows. (And yes, the
Hornet does say “It’s no use—you haven’t a chance!” during the fracas.)
What happens next? I
hear you ask. Well, because the last two
minutes of this chapter descend into an edition of Mostly Dark Theater, it’s
mostly just stock footage of a runaway train barreling down the tracks while
the Hornet and Corey duke it out in the back of the caboose. Meanwhile, another train on the tracks stands
to smash right into the uncoupled train cars, and a railroad operator struggles
to switch the tracks to avoid a collision.
He manages to do so in the nick of time…but the runaway train on which
the Hornet and Corey are still conducting their pas de deux goes over an
embankment with them inside. Poorly lit
scenes may be the B-director’s best friend, but since they also make for crappy
screen captures, we’ll leave it here until next week’s chapter…
2 comments:
He'll always be Mike the Cop to me.
Hey ABBOTT!
Kato pulls up to a process screen just as the Hornet is getting to his feet—suck on that, Regis Toomey!
Oh HELL no. Hornet had to explain just how he got out of that predicament by claiming the cars are "built for protection." The Toomster DOES NOT NEED EXPLANATIONS.
Hilariously, I got almost the exact same screencap of those 1927 fire engines that you did. It's spectacular footage, but the problem is it's so spectacular every kid watching this serial is going to remember having seen it before.
Also, fond memories of Kenneth Harlan getting his ass killed outweighs any threat of a Fonda showing up. Also also, there is nothing I don't like about the title "Panic in the Zoo!"
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