Determined to locate
The Scorpion’s headquarters, Don impersonates Barsac, wounded Scorpion agent,
and is carried off by Scorpion henchmen who believe they are rescuing Barsac.
Taken to a “listening
post,” Don overhears a plot to destroy the old smelter which workmen are
converting into a badly needed power plant for the naval base…effecting a
daring escape, Don hurries to the smelter and…
Daring escape?
Seriously? His stuntman did most of the work, and the
guys who were watching him ran off like scared rabbits…that Don couldn’t even
manage to hit with bullets from his gun.
(Apparently the folks who write these crawls are watching a different serial.)
Anyway, the smelter chimney falls on top of the shed our hero is occupying and traps him underneath in the rubble. Running for the safety of their automobile, Scorpion henchies Prindle (Robert Barron), Spike (Ethan Laidlaw) and Corley (Lane Chandler) offer up editorial opinions on their work:
PRINDLE: We certainly bungled that job from every angle…
SPIKE: We smashed the chimney…
PRINDLE: Yes, but we didn’t smash
the powerhouse, thanks to Winslow…
CORLEY: He got what’s coming to
him—he’s under that pile of bricks…
PRINDLE: We were supposed to take
him alive…
“Now let’s get back and break the sad news to Merlin,”
Prindle adds as the three of them climb into the car and drive away. (He sounds a little sarcastic about that “sad
news” part.)
Meanwhile, as Don is struggling to free himself from the pile of rubble, his loyal sidekick “Red” Pennington (Walter Sande) pulls up; along with comical Irishman Mike “I am not Michael Axford!” Splendor (Wade Boteler) and John Blake (Ben Taggart). Red thinks he recognizes a car parked near his as “the car Mercedes said Don used.” (Check the back bumper—it could be a rental.)
Blake is pleased that the chimley stack didn’t fall on the
powerhouse…and Mike comments: “You can bet Don
kept that from happenin’.” And he would
be right, in the sense that Winslow threw himself under the falling chimney to
protect it. So the Unholy Three rush
over to the wreckage, and are soon joined by some of the smelter workers…who
for reasons unexplained seemed to have missed all the previous shenanigans when
Prindle and his crew were loading up the chimley with T.N.T. Inside the rubble, Don is able to grab a
brick and tap it against the timbers, beating out a message in Morse code…which
Red is able to decipher, and thus he is relieved that Don is okay. (Morse code, mind you. Hoo boy.
After Winslow finishes tapping, mind you, he then lapses into
unconsciousness.) So everybody pitches
in to dig through the rubble and save the hero of our serial.
Meanwhile…on a road somewhere on Tangita…”brains heavy”
Spencer Merlin (John Litel) waits for a report from his subordinates:
MERLIN: Did you destroy the power plant?
PRINDLE: No…we ran into a mix-up with Winslow…he switched the
dynamite charge…
Actually, this is kind of a simplification. When Don entered the chimley where the
dynamite was, he started moving the explosives before realizing hey—he could
just cut the wires…and that’s when his knife broke. So when you think about it—as inept as our
hero is, the bad guys are even more so.
MERLIN: So…you let him outsmart you
again…did you?
PRINDLE: It’s the last time he’ll
interfere with us…he’s dead…
“So suck on that, M-22.”
MERLIN: Dead? How did that happen?
PRINDLE: A falling chimney crushed
him…
“Well…that would do it, I guess.”
MERLIN: The Scorpion ordered us to
take him alive!
PRINDLE: We couldn’t help what
happened…we…
MERLIN (interrupting): I don’t want
to hear your alibis now…we’ve got something else to do…we’ve got to rescue
Barsac!
PRINDLE: Barsac? Why, he’s at the listening post!
MERLIN: That’s what you think—that was Winslow you carried to the hut!
He was impersonating Barsac!
PRINDLE: Then…where’s Barsac?
MERLIN: Still at the warehouse
dispensary…with only one man guarding him…you follow me…
And you wonder why everybody in that outfit adores Barsac
and thinks you’re a dink, Spence. So we
go back to the action at the smelter, with Red trying to pull Don out of the
rubble (he says “Come on, boy” at one point, which kind of made me snicker—“What
are you, a weakling?”). Unfortunately
for us, he succeeds.
DON: That was a close one, Red…
RED: You’re not kidding!
SPLENDOR: ‘Twas a foine job you
did, lad…you saved Blake’s power
plant!
BLAKE: You certainly did…how did
you do it?
DON: Uh…I’ll tell you all about it
in the car on the way back to the warehouse…
“’Cause right now…I could really use some medical attention…before
I pass out…” (The correct response would be: “Magic!”) Blake tells him he can’t go with him
because—and this is a direct quote—“I’ve got to clear this debris out of the
way.” So what does he do? Order
the other men to clear the debris out
of the way.
Arriving at the warehouse, Red tells Don he’s going to check
on Barsac…but when Winslow enters the radio room, he finds papers scattered
willy-nilly. Then he hears Red calling
him from the other room—it would appear that Barsac has escaped, and the people
responsible trussed up their girlfriends, nurse Mercedes Colby (Claire Dodd)
and gal Friday Misty Gaye (Anne Nagel).
DON: Mercedes! What happened?
MERCEDES: We never had a chance, Don…The Scorpion’s agents took
Barsac…
DON: What about Chapman? Where is he?
Winslow is referring to the radio man, played by Peter
Leeds, in what surely must be the most thankless role of his career. (Though it could be worse—he could suffer the
thespic indignities of Dodd and Nagel.)
MISTY: They took him, too! And I heard one of the men say something
about our codes…
DON: Codes? (He shows them a book he brought in from the
radio room) Huh…they’re still here…
Hooray! Chapman’s
life is in danger but we’ve got the freaking codes! The scene shifts to that familiar elevator
inside the Tangita Gold Mine, where this-time-he’s-wide-awake Karl is lowering
Merlin, Prindle and the bandaged Barsac (John Holland) down the shaft to the
secret entrance of Scorpion, Inc. As the
three men walk by the submarine, Merlin orders two sailors who are standing by
to take Barsac to the “hospital room” even though the two of them look quite
busy polishing the sub. (Merlin does not
say: “Do this, because I’m about to get my ass chewed by The Scorpion in a
sec.”) They hop to it, because everybody loves Barsac.
Meanwhile, back at the warehouse…
DON: I can’t figure it, Red…they
took Chapman…the safe is open…and yet
they didn’t touch our code book…
“Or the snacks I left for them out in the kitchen…”
RED: Well, we know their object in
coming here was to get Barsac…but why take Chapman
along, too?
SPLENDOR: Unless it was to torture
the poor lad…
DON: They’ve got some smart trick up their sleeves…you can bet
on that!
Winslow cracks me up sometimes. You kind of get the feeling that if he hit
his thumb with a hammer he’d say something like “Oh, snickerdoodles!” We take you now to another radio room
somewhere hidden on Tangita Island
MERLIN: M-22 standing by…
SCORPION (on screen): Go ahead,
M-22…
MERLIN: We rescued Barsac from
Winslow…he’s here now, but in a critical condition…
SCORPION: Barsac must receive our best medical care…
“I love that man like a son!”
SCORPION: Why hasn’t Winslow been taken prisoner as I ordered?
MERLIN: He’s dead…
SCORPION: Dead? How did that happen?
MERLIN: He tried to interfere with
our agents’ attempts to destroy the power plant at the Navy base…he was killed
accidentally…
SCORPION: Did you photograph Winslow’s
special codes?
MERLIN: We did! We also have Chapman, his radio operator, a
prisoner…
SCORPION: All right…you have my
orders regarding those codes…see that they are obeyed…
Well, that wasn’t so bad.
I thought he’d really be pissed about Winslow accidentally being killed
and all.
PRINDLE: Winslow’s death will
certainly change the plans of his associates in running down our sabotage…
MERLIN: Yes…you better get to the
listening post as quick as you can…we’ve got to find out what those changes are
going to be…
A shift in scenery finds Don scurrying around underneath the warehouse (in his Navy whites—tell me that cleaning bill isn’t going to be a problem). The clever little sod has found the wires that lead to “the listening post” and cut them accordingly (with a better knife, I’m guessing). He then returns to the warehouse office and instructs Misty to gather up Red, Splendor and the rest of the Scooby gang.
MERCEDES: Did you find the mikes?
DON: Sure…under the floor of the radio room—right where I
marked it with that paper…the wires lead off through heavy foliage into the jungle…
MISTY: They probably lead to those huts where you had so much trouble…
You know, the ones I suggested you have shut down a chapter
or two back.
RED: What are we waiting for? Let’s go over and break ‘em up!
“Red…what have I told you about pacing in this thing?”
DON: No need of that…I cut the wires…right now we’ve got to
find Chapman!
SPLENDOR: Sure, they must have
taken him to their headquarters…wherever
that is…
DON: The first thing for us to do
is to get to their listening post and try to capture one of their men and make him talk! I’ll go on ahead…
“…and get myself trapped in a ludicrous cliffhanger…”
DON: …Red, you and Mike follow…
And Winslow is out the door.
Red scratches his head, puzzled as to how his buddy could have had a
“hunch” about the wires in the first place…and that’s when Mercedes informs him
that he learned of the post’s existence during his masquerade as Barsac in the
last chapter. (“So he’s really not that clever, Red.”)
Surprise! Don’s stuntman dry gulches Spike outside the hut when Spike wasn’t looking, and quickly dispatches him with a mighty Navy wallop. He then drags Spike’s carcass into the jungle and gets back in time to eavesdrop on just what Prindle and Corley are up to.
PRINDLE: Take him to headquarters
where we can force information out of
him…you and Spike wait here…
That’s Don cue to kick in the door of the hut and enter with
his gun a-drawn. Prindle’s reaction is
pretty hooty: “Winslow!” (This is to be
expected, since he thought he was dead and all.)
“Surprised to see me alive, aren’t ya? All right…out!” snarls Don—I only wish he had
spiced this up with something like “you scurrilous curs!” As Prindle and Corley start to shuffle
outside, Corley makes his move and tackles Don’s stuntman. A badly choreographed fight ensues.
Just when it looks its darkest for Donny, a shot rings out—and Red and Mike are shown merely a few yards away to help out their friend. As they come running up, Corley and Prindle go running through the tall weeds…but when Red starts to go after them Don shouts at him: “Don’t follow them!” (“Pacing, you idiot!”)
RED: Why didn’t you let us go after them?
DON: We’ve got to get Chapman…I
found out where they’re holding him…where’s the car?
SPLENDOR: Sure, and Blake has
it…he’s waitin’ for us back at the end of the trail…
DON: Well, let’s get back there—we
haven’t any time to lose!
Don has learned that the villains are holding Chapman captive at “the old sea mill,” and he instructs Blake to take them there since the construction owner knows where it is. So they arrive at their destination, and the usual clichés about “we may be walking into a trap” are trotted out before Don and Red decide to go inside and investigate.
This gentleman here has been watching our heroes intently…though it might be because he’s afraid they’ll toss a bag of trash out of their car. Yes, it’s none other than Iron Eyes Cody—a character thesp who appeared in close to 200 films, mostly in Native American roles…though he was in reality born Espera Oscar de Corti, of Italian ancestry. (The trash joke is a reference to Cody’s best-known role as the “crying Indian” from a popular public service announcement telecast in the 1970s…in which William Conrad, The Man of a Thousand Voice proclaims: “People start pollution…people can stop it.”)
Inside the mill where Chapman is held captive, Prindle is trying to assuage the fears of some Scorpion goon named Pat (William Desmond) who’s worried that Don is going “is liable to bring a mob to the rescue.” Prindle shrugs this off by saying, “Winslow doesn’t work that way.” (“He’s pacing himself.”) Iron Eyes enters the mill and tells Prindle that Don and Red are headed that way. “With Chapman as bait, we can follow up on The Scorpion’s orders and capture Winslow alive.” (“So whatever you do…don’t kill him!”)
Don and Red enter the mill while several more nameless
henchies in The Scorpion’s employ arrange to leave a trap door wiiiiide open so
that our heroes can see that Chapman is tied up and being held captive in some
sort of fruit cellar. The high
point of hilarity occurs when Don tells Red, “See
where that door leads.” (“While I film
from the safety of the van.”)
With their guard let down, Spike and Prindle come up on our heroes’ blind side and are told to drop their guns. “Since you’re so curious,” sneers Prindle, “why don’t you go in and take a look?” The henchmen force Red and Don to go through the door, where the other goons are standing around the open trap door.
PRINDLE: Take a look through the
trap door, Winslow…we have one of your friends
down there…
Without warning, Don hollers out “Red!” Which cues another bad fist fight with poorly
matched stuntmen…and when it’s over, both Navy men are knocked
unconscious. (Okay—granted they were
kind of outnumbered…but how did those two slobs get into the service in the
first place in such flabby condition?)
The bad guys toss Don into the fruit cellar with Chapman,
while the unconscious form of Red Pennington is taken “out to the old canal
chute.” As two barbell boys carry Red
out, Splendor and Blake have caught up to their buddies and wait for the right
moment outside the mill. Then they
commence firing. The henchies soon drop
Red and head for cover.
Inside the fruit cellar, Don quickly helps Seaman Chapman
out of his ropes…
CHAPMAN: It’s lucky you found me, Commander…one of The Scorpion’s men photographed our code books and they have the film here somewhere!
DON: We’ve got to get that film
back at any cost!
Don and Chapman start to look for a way out of the cellar
while the shooting continues up above.
Don finds what he thinks to be a ventilator, and a lever nearby…thinking
that the lever will open it, the two men pull the lever…
…and release a torrent of H2O into the cellar. Nice work, guys!
You know…I have a hunch that that’s that “old canal chute” they were referring to earlier…
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