Government Agents vs. Phantom Legion – Chapter 4: Doorway to Doom

Sure, they “fly to prevent it”…and Hal Duncan (Walter Reed)—Special Government Agent!—even goes as far as parachuting out of the aircraft to try and warn the train below that it’s about to be blown to smithereens.  But once Hal lands on terra cotta, the winds shift and he winds up tangled in his parachute on the railroad tracks as the Twentieth Century Limited comes barreling down on him!

 

Hannh?

HA!  Fooled you, gullible moviegoer!  Hal actually landed on the other side, so it is only his parachute that has been cut to…what’s that?  That wasn’t shown in last week’s chapter?  Oh, stop your bellyaching…it’s not like you’re paying for any of this.  So the locomotive comes to a screeching halt, and the henchman (Edmund Cobb) who was going to blow up the train real good…

…sees that the train is no longer chug-a-lug-a-lugging, so he unhooks the TNT and slinks off.  Fare thee well, henchman…there will be no wholesale destruction for you today.  A few people from the train help Hal to his feet and then onto the train as the scene fades to black.

A different angle on the Interstate Block Building, but the same-ol’-same-ol’ is going on inside at the Interstate Truck Owners Association: another boring, pointless meeting in which Hal informs the four other members—Armstrong (Pierce Lyden), Crandall (Arthur Space), Thompson (Mauritz Hugo) and Willard (George Meeker)—of his (non)progress in stopping the men responsible for hijacking “critical defense material supplies” as dutiful gal Friday Kay Roberts (Mary Ellen Kay) scribbles “Mrs. Hal Duncan” over and over on her steno pad.

HAL: We found the place where they planned to blow up the train…but the wreckers had escaped…

CRANDALL: Then the electronic instruments got through safely?

HAL: Yes, they’re now in a government warehouse…but they’re not complete instruments—only parts…

Just like Chicken McNuggets.  (Parts is parts.)

HAL: The other necessary parts to make up the instruments were stolen from a warehouse last week…

ARMSTRONG: Then the shipment that came in by train is useless…

HAL: Well…until other parts can be made—or the stolen ones recovered…

WILLARD: No one’s ever had much luck in recovering anything from that gang…

HAL: No—but in this case, the parts the gang already have are no good to them, either…so the government is offering a reward of $50,000 for their return…

I don’t understand a word of this “parts” double talk but I do understand the $50,000.  Fifty-thousand smackers!  If I were Regan (Dick Curtis) or Cady (Fred Coby) I’d be making a call to Uncle Sam right about now…

THOMPSON: That might tempt the crooks to do business…

HAL: Well, that’s what we’re hoping…the government has ordered me to act as contact man if we hear anything from them…

CRANDALL: Sounds like a good idea…

As the meeting adjourns, we hear Willard say “I’ll be glad when this gang is cleaned up and we can get back in business again”—which might explain why these jamokes have so much free time to sit around in meetings.  With the information that Hal is allowed to generously reward anyone returning the stolen parts, the ITOA member who is secretly the boss of the hijackers (a.k.a. “The Voice”) returns to his lair in the Metz Building and informs Regan and Cady of the government’s offer…though Regan isn’t entirely unconvinced it’s not a trap.

VOICE: The government is urgently in need of that equipment…and they have every reason for wanting to go through with the deal…since the parts we have are of no use to us, we might as well do business with them…

REGAN: How are we gonna collect the payoff?

VOICE: I’ll send instructions to Duncan telling him just what to do…

“…and where to go, come to think of it.”  Regan and Cady take a truck loaded with the parts to a place called Taylor Flats…where those two rapscallions also plan a little surprise for our hero: a B-O-M-B!  As Hal approaches the truck area in his taxpayer-funded sedan, Regan orders Cady to hide out of sight behind the car…and not to start anything until he’s sure Duncan has the money with him.

REGAN (calling out): The stuff’s there all right, Duncan!

HAL: Yeah?  How do I know what’s in those boxes?

REGAN: Well, you’d better take my word for it—because there’s also a bomb in there…and I’m holding onto the wire that’s tied to the detonator handle…if I pull it, that whole truck will be blown sky high and you with it!

HAL: Okay…you win…what’s the deal?

REGAN: Throw your gun away, then walk over here and show me that money…

HAL: I’ll meet you halfway…after you throw your gun away…

Regan is nothing if not a sport…he throws his weapon to the ground at the same as does Hal.  He then cautiously walks over to where our hero is standing.

HAL: When you see the money—do I get the truck?

REGAN: That’s the deal… (Hal hands him a parcel wrapped in brown paper, and Regan tears off one corner)  Yeah…looks all right!

Saracen pig!

Spartan dog!

“Hit him!” Regan yells out immediately as Cady takes aim at Hal with his gun…and that shot that rings out prompts Hal to tackle Regan to the ground.  Cady fires another round, but he’s concerned about hitting Regan as he continues to tussle with Hal.  So as Cady runs over to help his pal he chases Hal off into the hills, oblivious to a wire lying on the ground…

…KA-BOOM!  That truck blowed up real good!  Here’s a pro tip for ya, Cady—resist the urge to play Those Endearing Young Charms on pianos in the future.  Hal reaches his car and gets in to drive off…though you’d think he’d capitalize on the opportunity to round up Regan and Cady with those two goons thoroughly discombobulated by the blast.  (Then again, we’ve got eight more chapters to go.)  As Hal speeds off, both Regan and Cady lament the loss of the fifty-thousand large.  “Well, I’ll have to tell the boss,” grumbles Regan.  (“We’re going to need to get our stories straight…”)

As Regan and Cady prepare to leave, Regan grabs a microphone from the radio in their car to relay a message to “The Voice”:

REGAN: Calling V-317…calling V-317…

VOICE: Come in, Regan…

We then see Hal in his car, tooling along as he speeds back to the ITOA.  However, he turns his radio on to contact Kay…and miracle of miracles, he just happens to be on the same frequency as Regan and The Voice!

REGAN (on radio): …he got away with the money, too…

VOICE (on radio): There’s nothing more you can do now…keep out of sight until further orders…

REGAN (on radio): Yes, sir…

Astonished at his good fortune, our hero springs into action…

HAL: Calling Trucking Association…calling Trucking Association…

KAY (on radio): Come in, Hal…

HAL: Kay, I just picked up a radio conversation between Regan and his boss!

KAY: What did you hear?

HAL: Well, nothing important…but I’ve got their wavelength, and I’m going to let them hear one of my messages that will lead them into a trap!  Tune your set into…ten-twenty-eight and play along with me when I call you on that band…

Genius!  That boy is an absolute genius!  Over on 10-28, Hal goes to work:

HAL (on radio): Calling Trucking Association…calling Trucking Association…

REGAN: That’s Duncan!

KAY (on radio): Come in, Hal…

HAL (on radio): The deal didn’t work, Kay…but I got out of it all right…and I still have the money…

KAY (on radio): Well, what are you going to do now?

HAL (on radio): Well, it’s too late to get the money back to the bank…so I want to leave it in your office safe tonight…

KAY (on radio): All right, Hal…I’ll wait here for you…

REGAN (to Cady): Hey—we’ll cash in on this deal yet!  Any office safe is a cinch to crack!  Get goin’!

Back at the ITOA, Hal and Kay are joined by Hal’s faithful sidekick, Sam Bradley (John Packard)…

KAY: You’re not really going to leave that money here, are you?

HAL: Nah, I’m going to take it to headquarters and turn it in…

“Ha!  Sure I am…right after I get back from my vacation in Vegas!”

HAL: But if those crooks did get my message—they’ll probably be here by some time tonight…

SAM: We’ll be ready for ‘em…

HAL: Yes…but you’ll have to stand watch alone until I get back…

“And since that will be in Vegas…I suggest you bring a book and a change of underwear…”

HAL: Keep out of sight…and when they break in, wait until they get where you can handle them…

SAM: Right!

HAL (to Kay): I can take you home on my way to headquarters…

Whoa!  This serial just got a whole lot more interesting!  Hal tells Sam “I’ll try to be back by nine,” which is a great unintentionally hilarious line.  (“Hey…once the Dom Perignon starts to flow—who knows how late I’ll be?”)  Hal and Kay then leave the office, and the scene shifts to the sedan belonging to Regan and Cady pulling up outside the Interstate Block building around back.  This screen capture will offer a little advice to you aspiring second-story men out there…

…always park your car so you can access the fire escape.  As Regan and Cady scamper up the ladder, the camera cuts inside to the darkened ITOA office where Sam waits patiently for his interlopers…and he is reading a book.  (Knowing the amount of grey matter in Bradley, I’m guessing it’s a weighty tome along the lines of Tom Swift and His Magnetic Silencer.)  Sam waits for the two thugs to climb in the window and then he springs into action…

SAM: Should have come in the front door, boys—it’s unlocked…put your guns on the desk…one at a time… (To Regan) You first…

Both Regan and Cady toss their roscoes onto the desk, and Sam chucks them into a wastepaper can.  “Now hand me that phone,” he orders Regan…and he gets handed the phone, all right!

Roman cow!

Russian snake!

But because Sam is not in a Columbia serial, he is eventually knocked unconscious since he is outnumbered…allowing Regan and Cady to do that voodoo that they do so well.  “There—that’ll hold him for a while,” gloats Regan as he and his partner go to town on the safe.

Outside the building, Hal pulls up in his ride and as he makes his way upstairs the two thugs ransack the safe in search of the $50,000…with no luck.  “It’s a frame-up,” complains Regan.  “There’s no money here!”  Hal has reached the outside door just in time to hear Regan slam the safe shut in frustration, and the racket causes our hero to draw his pistola just in case there’s some action.

Unfortunately for Hal, his silhouette is rather noticeable on the door…and while this is not stock footage like in the previous cliffhangers for the chapters in this serial…

…it’s not hard to imagine what happens next!