Thrilling Days of Yesteryear: Almost the Truth—The Lawyer's Cut

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Riders of Death Valley – Chapter 6: Blood and Gold



OUR STORY SO FAR: Jim Benton and Mary Morgan, his partner in Chuckawalla’s re-discovered “Lost Aztec” Mine, are being held prisoners by Wolf Reade, notorious bandit intent upon getting possession of their mine.

By a clever trick, Jim overcomes his guards and he and Mary escape.

Wolf sees them galloping away and, realizing they will make good their escape, sends his men by a shortcut to block the “needle-eye” cut through which they must pass…

“By a clever trick.”  Honestly, Riders of Death Valley, you do have a propensity for hyperbole.

Well, since we’ve got many chapters to go in this, it shouldn’t come as any huge surprise that Jim (Dick Foran) and Mary (Jeanne Kelly) were not crushed by the boulder avalanche started by henchies Rusty (Ethan Laidlaw) and Trigger (Jack Rockwell).  They are, however, conveniently trapped in the “needle-eye” cut due to severe boulderage.


DICK: Well, at least we won’t die of suffocation…there’s an opening left!
(The two of them walk over to where a little bit of daylight can be seen streaking through their rock prison)
MARY: Jim—what are we going to do?  We’ll never get out of here alive!
DICK: Mary, take it easy—getting hysterical won’t help us…
MARY: But Jim…
DICK: Settle down!

You may have to slap her, Jimbo!  He asks Mary to help him pull some of the rocks away, and topside, Wolf (Charles Bickford) and henchmen Butch (Lon Chaney) and Dirk (Roy Barcroft) ride up to meet Rusty and Trigger—Rusty, as you can deduce from the sh*t-eating grin he’s wearing in the screen capture, seems particularly proud of their handiwork.  (Where’s Pete [Richard Alexander], I hear you asking?  No lo sé.)


WOLF: Is that what you call a few boulders?
RUSTY: You told me to stop ‘em, didn’t ya?
WOLF: You stopped ‘em, all right…you did a good job…
BUTCH: You sure did!  And as far as I’m concerned…
WOLF: Who asked you anything?  Shaddup…

Uh-oh.  Lovers’ quarrel…

BUTCH: Well, they…didn’t have the map when you searched them, Wolf…whatcha aimin’ to do now?
WOLF: I’m gonna hunt up Tombstone and the rest…I’ll take ‘em apart one by one till I find that map…

Wolf and his bunch ride off—which is most unfortunate, because the man he’s looking for has just rode into the area near the rock coffin Jim and Mary are buried in—Tombstone (Buck Jones) hizzownself.  Mary spots him through the narrow opening.  The two of them start yelling Tomb’s name until he makes his way to the large pile of rocks keeping them hostage.


TOMBSTONE: Jim!
JIM: Tombstone!
TOMBSTONE: Say that again so I know I’m not dreamin’…
JIM: Come on, you silly son-of-a-gun…get us out of here!
TOMBSTONE: All right…how you settin’?
JIM: All right…hey—where’s The Wolf?
TOMBSTONE: He’s on his way to the High Timbers…must have thought he’d done away with ya…
JIM: He’ll be right…unless you get us out of here…
TOMBSTONE: I’ll get you out of here if I have to move every rock on this mountain!


“Hey, and by the way,” adds Tombstone as he starts in with the rocks, “I’m tired of diggin’ you out of holes.”  “Well, that goes double for me,” responds Jim in non-sequitur fashion.  It’s painfully obvious that Tombstone is not going to be able to get the job done by his lonesome…but fortunately he won’t have to.  The rest of Benton’s Riders—Pancho (Leo Carrillo), Borax Bill (Guinn “Big Boy” Williams), Smokey (Noah Beery, Jr.) and Tex (Glenn Strange) ride up and are encouraged to help dig Jim and Mary out.  (Tombstone: “I never saw so many big marbles in my life!”)

There is a scene shift to the Riders’ camp back at Superstition Pass—where Rance Davis (Monte Blue), criminal mastermind and CFO at Kirby Enterprises (a subsidiary of Evil Paraquats, Ltd.), is cahooting with Wolf and his posse (apparently Pete has returned from his errand by this time).


DAVIS: I’ve searched this camp over with a fine tooth comb and I can’t find a thing…Benton must have the map on him!
WOLF: If he has, we might as well forget it…
DAVIS: Why?
WOLF: He’s lying back under half a mountain…landslide

Oh, that’s just what he wants you to think, Wolfie!  For Trigger and Dirk ride up with an entirely different narrative…

DIRK: The riders are comin’ up the draw—Benton and the girl are with ‘em!
DAVIS: What?  I thought you said Benton was dead—are you crazy?
WOLF: Yep…I guess I am…

“Crazy like a fox!  Hey…maybe I should change my name…?”

DAVIS: Well, I guess this will change your plans…
WOLF: No…it won’t change anything…Butch…you and Trigger hide out in the rocks…we’ll be in the cave at the end of the ridge…let me know as soon as it’s clear…

There is a screen wipe, and the passage of time is noted by darkness falling over Superstition Pass.  Jim and the group come riding up where Davis has been waiting.  Another dissolve, and the men are finishing up chow.


JIM: Well…according to Chuckawalla’s map…we ought to reach the Lost Aztec Mine in about two days…

In serial time, that means three more chapters.  Honest to my grandma, this is a poky little puppy.

DAVIS: Providing we ever do reach it…
JIM: You have any doubts on the subject, Davis?
DAVIS: Well…I wouldn’t have if I thought we were all traveling in the right direction
TOMBSTONE: You wouldn’t be sayin’ he’s holdin’ out on us, would ya?
DAVIS: Well, who knows whether he is or not?  Nobody except Benton has ever seen that map!

This is not entirely true.  Tex is the one who picked it up off the saloon floor in Chapter 1, even though he didn’t thoroughly examine the contents.

TOMBSTONE: Well, that’s good enough for my dough…

Except you’re a pauper, my friend.

DAVIS: I don’t agree with you…
MARY: Well, I do!  And I own half of the mine…
DAVIS: And I’m here to see that you get an even break…

“Sucker…”

DAVIS: …we should all be familiar with that map!
JIM: Maybe you’re right, Davis…would you like to take a look at it?
DAVIS: Now that’s more like it!

Tombstone shoots his buddy a look that says “What the…front yard?” but Jim waves him off as he draws his pistol from its holster and reaches inside to pull out a piece of paper.  He hands it to Davis, who examines it with Mary.  From their hidey place in the rocks, Butch tells Trigger “Here’s where we get in solid with Wolf and Kirby—we’ll get that map now!”  And that’s precisely what they do…


BUTCH (guns drawn): All right, don’t move—not a peep outta ya!
PANCHO: No, senor…I…I don’t peep!
BUTCH (to Trigger): Keep ‘em covered… (He snatches the map from Davis’ grasp) Now…don’t any of you get nervous, because…Wolf’s got this camp surrounded

“What if I’m nervous ‘cause I can’t help it, Butch?”  With the map in his greasy paws, Butch saddles up with Trigger and the two of them ride off.  Tombstone’s all for hot pursuit, even telling Mary to get over by the wagon.

JIM: Wait a minute, Tomb…they just outsmarted us, that’s all…
TOMBSTONE: Well, you can’t rule a guy out for tryin’
DAVIS: Well, I don’t know what the rest of you are gonna do, but…I’m going back to Panamint in the morning…

“I find this open air life exhausting!”  From off-screen, Borax ad-libs: “Ain’t nobody gonna miss ya!”  I chuckled at that.  There is then a scene shift as Butch and Trigger arrive back at Camp Wolf.

WOLF (to Butch): Everything clear?
BUTCH: Better than that… (He hands him the paper) I got the map…
WOLF (giving it the once-over): That’s it, all right…that must be Chuckawalla’s mine… (Getting to his feet) Good work, Butch!
BUTCH: That’s what I thought!

Butch never fails to make me laugh.  He has but one purpose in life, and that’s to constantly suck up to the dirtbag known as Wolf Reade.

BUTCH: Whaddya gonna do now?  Go back and wipe ‘em out?
WOLF: No, we’re headin’ back for the hideout…

And so they do.  Come morning, the Riders of Death Valley have packed up their gear…but where goest them now?

TOMBSTONE: Everything’s packed…which way are we headin’?
JIM: Due north…if we hope to locate Chuckawalla’s mine
TOMBSTONE: How are ya gonna locate that mine without a map?
JIM: We got one…
TOMBSTONE: You what?
TEX: Then the map that Wolf got was a fake!
JIM: The real map’s locked up in Lafe Hogan’s safe in Panamint…
MARY: Why, Jim!
JIM: Sure…when Kirby decided to send Davis along I figured something was haywire, so I memorized it…
PANCHO: Hey, Tombstone…maybe Mister Jim is not the big fool like what we think he is, eh?

“Oh, shut your burrito…”  Seriously, I never cease to be amazed with the reservoir of cleverness from which Jim drinks.  His mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.

And so our heroes head north.  Meanwhile, rather than returning to Panamint like he promised, Rance Davis can be found riding up to Wolf’s hideout…and at first, I was a little concerned when I didn’t see Mr. and Mrs. Hank (Ted Adams, Ruth Rickaby) around—I thought perhaps Wolf had become displeased with them allowing Jim and Mary to escape in the last chapter, and terminated them with extreme prejudice.  Then I realized that this is Wolf’s home-away-from-home featured in Chapter 2.

DAVIS: Well…you finally got the map…let me take a look at it…
BUTCH (handing him the map); Sure!  Maybe you can make something out of it—Wolf and me can’t…

“We never got past the third grade!”


DAVIS (after giving it the once-over): I told you Benton and his Death Valley Riders are plenty smart…
WOLF: Whaddya talkin’ about?
DAVIS: Why, that’s not a map of Chuckawalla’s Lost Aztec Mine…
WOLF: Whaddya mean?
DAVIS: That’s a map of one of Benton’s abandoned claims!  I know the place like a book—Kirby and me put up the money for the diggin’s!
WOLF: You sure of that?
DAVIS: Certainly!

If he knows the place like a book—why didn’t he say something to Butch before he swiped the map from Benton last night?

WOLF (throwing the map at Butch): What a smart hombre you turned out to be!
BUTCH (looking hurt): Well, that’s the one he had, Wolf…
WOLF (after a pause): So he’s put one over on me again…
DAVIS: Yes, he not only put it over he’s following the real map to Chuckawalla’s mine…
WOLF: Well, I’ll be right on his tail… (To Butch) Get the boys together, Butch…

I like how Chaney is able to make Butch a sympathetic sort—you kind of feel for the guy, knowing that he only wanted to make things nice for The Wolf.  (“Wolf is my friend!”)  The scene shifts to the Death Valley Riders as they continue their excursion to the Lost Aztec…but they’ve hit upon a teensy snag.  The wagon being driven by Borax Bill becomes bogged down…


…and while Pancho attempts to help extricate it, he gets nothing but abuse from his friend B.B.—who derogatorily refers to him as a “chili pepper.”  Pancho retorts something indecipherable in Spanish, though you do hear him remark at how Bill was able to find “the only chuckhole in the desert.”

The Riders continue to struggle with the stubborn wagon team…and they’d better get a move on, because not too far away, Wolf and his men are catching up to them.  (How did they know in which direction the Riders rode?  Stop asking foolish questions…) 

TRIGGER: Looks like they’re bogged down…
WOLF: They haven’t got a Chinaman’s chance of getting out of that… (To Davis) You better find a place to hide out…won’t do any good for them to see you with me…

So while Rance rides off in search of a Whataburger, Wolf and his band head off in the direction of Jim and the riders.  As they continue to struggle with the team (Bill suggests they throw a collar on Pancho, “he’ll get us out”) Jim spots the bad guys headed in their direction…and yes, he shouts out: “The Wolf and his pack!”  (Never gets old…)

As if the horses understand the danger (“Wolf and his pack?  Let’s went!”)  the team finally decides to un-bog itself and the Riders haul ass, followed by the Pack.  What ensues is another one of those extended chase scenes for which I am always grateful, since that means less transcription time.  At one point in the action, however, Jim climbs into the wagon being driven by Bill and decides to throw this out the back…


…subtlety is never the watch word in these things, by the way.  If it’s more than three X’s, that denotes gunpowder.  Jimbo heaves it out the back, and then takes careful aim…


…yee-haw!  That blowed up real good!  And…scene!


Sometime later, the Riders’ caravan comes to a halt as Jim declares to his buds that “this looks like the place we’re looking for.”

TEX: I don’t see nothin’ that looks like the Lost Aztec Mine…
JIM: Say…according to the map, that cave up there might be it…
PANCHO: Well, if it is—we’re gonna have a big barbecue, no?
TOMBSTONE: No!  Whaddya think this is, a picnic?  Let’s unload that wagon…

So as Pancho continues his Spanish profanity, Bill asks Jim: “Don’t you reckon we’d better cash this blastin’ gelatin a safe distance from camp?”  Benton tells his pal to stack the explosives up by the face of a nearby cliff, and when Mary expresses uncertainty as to whether it’s really the location of “Uncle Charlie’s” mine, Jim suggests the two of them stroll up to the cave and find out.

If you thought a little keg of gunpowder was going to stop Wolf Freakin’ Reade and his mugs…come to think of it, I kind of question myself why those punks rode off during the chase after Jim set off that keg.  Well, it’s all moot—from off in the distance, loyal Butch spots the caravan unloading and alerts Wolf to the situation.


RUSTY: They’re pitchin’ camp…
WOLF: All right, men…take it easy now…we’ll leave the horses here…

So Wolf, Rance and the rest of the bunch dismount and stealthily make their way closer to where the Riders are setting up operations.  Meanwhile, Jim and Mary are at the entrance of the cave…

MARY: I hope this is the right cave…
JIM (as he grabs some brush to make a torch): Well, if it is we’ll find Chuckawalla’s name written on the wall…

Because…what?  That was the custom of the time?  Inside the cave, the presence of torches tips Jim off to the fact that someone was using it previously.  I won’t keep you in suspense…


…Mary finds some writing on a rock, and though “Chuckawalla” is missing an “l” it’s clearly the Lost Aztec Mine.  Jim decides to share the good news with the rest of the team.  No sooner has he exited the cave does Benton spot Wolf and Company, so he shouts out to the Riders: “Take cover, men—The Wolf!”  (“It’s the Wolf!  It’s the Wolf!” as Lambsy Divey used to say.)


“Let ‘em have it, boys—they’ve spotted us!” snarls Wolf, and because there’s only a little more than a minute left in the chapter what results is a rousing shootout between the forces of Good and Evil.  Unfortunately, a member of Team Good stupidly left a lot of blasting gelatin and powder near Jim’s position up top near the cave…

3 comments:

  1. Ivan, I haven't commented on this one so far because you've done such a good job that there aren't any snarking points left to bring up. But I'm having a hell of a lot of fun following your coverage of the Riders, and look forward to each installment. Okay, time to went...

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  2. ...you've done such a good job that there aren't any snarking points left to bring up.

    Thanks muchly, Jim...especially for being kind enough not to point out that there is neither "blood" nor "gold" in this chapter.

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  3. DICK: Settle down!

    Ugh, she wasn't even CLOSE to hysterics, you jerk. Why did they even have women in these serials?

    I admit it, I laughed out loud at Rusty's grin. That is hilarious, and Rockwell looks like he's about to bust up, too.


    Hey…maybe I should change my name…

    HA!

    The writing on the rock reminds me of a place north of here called Alcove Springs, which was a well-known stopping point for westward travelers in the 1800s. They would often carve their names in the limestone, and one of the names you can still read is Donner, as in the Donner party, before they got stuck in the snow, of course. Seeing names written in rocks like that has given me a chill ever since.

    P.S. Harvey Korman did not deserve that.

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