G-Men Never Forget (1948) – Chapter 5: The Dead Man Speaks

OUR STORY SO FAR: Vic Murkland (Roy Barcroft), a man of such unquestionable evil he refuses to bus his own tray when dining in cafeterias, is wreaking havoc in a small metropolitan city by means of an insidious insurance protection racket that rivals anything AIG could have possibly dreamed up. (On top of this, Murkland has rewarded him with nice, fat bonuses in the bargain.)

If you’re asking yourself how this fiend has managed to get away with this kind of chicanery under the very noses of the authorities, it’s because that—with the help of Robert “Doc” Benson (Stanley Price), part-time plastic surgeon and notary public—Murkland’s facial features have been transformed so that he’s a dead ringer for Police Commissioner Angus Cameron. (Oh, and I think Phil Gramm is involved in this somehow as well.) Special Agent Ted O’Hara (Clayton Moore) has been assigned to bring down Murkland, but along with his partner, Sergeant Francis Blake (Ramsay Ames), hasn’t quite been able to piece together that Cameron and Murkland are the same guy. (I don’t even want to know what his scores on the FBI examination were.)

In the last chapter, O’Hara had raced to a shipyard run by big bidness tycoon R.J. Cook (Edmund Cobb) to try and stop Cook’s latest construction of a ship because he learned that someone had tampered with the blueprints. For his trouble, he finds himself in the path of a super structure that’s come crashing to the ground…

Foolish mortals! Even the use of stock footage from a previous Dick Tracy Republic serial can’t stop Ted O’Hara, who emerges from the wreckage with nary a scratch! Sadly, not everyone was so lucky—several workmen were hurt, and as O’Hara and Cook speed back into town, they hear this announcement on the car radio:

ANNOUNCER: …and no accurate list of casualties is available…the injured are being rushed to hospitals, including Benson’s Sanitarium—a mental hospital which is not far from the scene of the accident…
(O’Hara shuts the radio off…)
O’HARA: Your superintendent was unconscious when they put him in the ambulance…
COOK: I got word that they’d taken him to Benson’s place…

The scene shifts to Benson’s—which in actuality is Murkland’s hide-out—where an injured individual is being carried in on a stretcher by the ambulance drivers. Murkland is sitting on Benson’s desk, and he tells his cohort not to let any of the new patients see Cameron:

BENSON: He may start yelling…
MURKLAND: Tell ‘em he’s one of your violent cases…meantime, I’ll go down and give him a little advice…

Murkland enters the cell that’s become the new home of Commissioner Cameron, and its occupant is none-too-pleased to see his weaselly, reconstructed face:

CAMERON: Oh…so it’s you…I’d hoped that O’Hara had exposed you and the police were here…

Steady, big guy…it’s only the fifth chapter and…well, let’s just say Ted won’t be bringing potato salad to any of the MENSA picnics soon.

MURKLAND: I’m in command of the police…none of your people even suspect I’m not Cameron…
CAMERON: Your plastic surgery trick won’t fool them forever…and I hope to see you hang!
MURKLAND: I doubt if you’ll live that long…I just came to give you a little advice…I’ve got a man posted outside your door and if you make any disturbance whatever I’ll have you beat to a pulp…keep that in mind…

Murkland goes back upstairs to learn that O’Hara and Cook have arrived at the sanitarium, so he tells Benson’s lackey Slater (Jack O’Shea) to station the pulp-beating goon outside Cameron’s door.

MURKLAND (as O’Hara and Cook enter): Hello, O’Hara!
O’HARA: Commissioner…
MURKLAND: Hiya, Mr. Cook! Meet Dr. Benson… (To Benson) Mr. O’Hara, Mr. Cook…
O’HARA: Doctor…
COOK: How are my men, Doctor?
BENSON: Well, doing as nice as can be expected…

Considering I’m evil…EVIL!

BENSON: Most of the cases are shock and concussion…but your superintendent, however, is still in a coma…but you can see some of the others…
O’HARA: We’d like to, Doctor…
BENSON: Good! This way, please…

While Benson is giving O’Hara and Cook the guided tour, we witness the real Cameron in his cell, attempting to jimmy open the door with what appears to be a kitchen utensil. There is a dissolve, and back in Benson’s office, Cook tells O’Hara he plans to stick around to await the status of his superintendent, and O’Hara suggests to “Cameron” that he drop him off at the shipyard to allow him to do some further investigation. The two men leave just as the real Cameron tricks his guard into entering his cell—where he hits the thug from behind and escapes:

BENSON (conversing with Cook in his office): You’re lucky that more of the men weren’t more seriously injured in this accident…
COOK: But it wasn’t an accident, Doctor…Mr. O’Hara is convinced that Vic Murkland…
(Cook is interrupted by the sudden opening of a door, which reveals…Commissioner Cameron!)
CAMERON: Help…I’m Police Commissioner Cameron…these men are holding me… (Slater and several other goons in Benson’s employ quickly surround Cameron and wrestle him to the ground) They’re holding me…against my will… (Cameron is quickly subdued and ushered out of the room, and Benson turns to Cook…)
BENSON: One of our more violent cases…he thinks he’s Commissioner Cameron…
COOK: But he looks like Cameron…
BENSON: Sure, he’s a dead ringer for him…that’s what started his hallucination…I’ve got Napoleon, Caesar and Abraham Lincoln in the back there…would you care to see them?
COOK (still looking dazed): No…another time, Doctor… (Glances at watch) I didn’t realize it was so late…I must get back to my office… (He saunters over to the exit, with Benson closely following) Thanks, Doctor…take good care of my men…

Either Cook is a bigger idiot than O’Hara for swallowing that flimsy excuse…or he realizes that really is Cameron, and high-tailed it out of there before he’s next on the list. Benson seems to believe the latter, and he tells Slater: “Get hold of Duke, quick…”

It is evening, and Cook is seated in his office chair with the lights in the office completely dimmed. He walks over to the window and peers out through the blinds in time to glance a menacing-looking man coming across the street and making tracks toward his building. Then he looks off to the left and spies a second man who proceeds to do the same. Cook looks around nervously, and then goes over to the telephone:

COOK: Hello…is Mr. O’Hara back?
FEMALE VOICE: Oh, Mr. Cook…Mr. O’Hara called in just after you hung up…I gave him your message and he’s on his way there…
COOK: Thanks…

After finishing his conversation, Cook then walks over to his office door and locks it, returns to his desk and pulls out his Dictaphone…two sinister shadows can be scene outside the door…

COOK: Attention, Special Agent O’Hara…this is R.J. Cook speaking… (There is a knock on the door, and Cook begins to speak loudly and rapidly into the machine) It is my belief that Murkland has had his face altered by plastic surgery…and has taken the place of the Police Commissioner…the real commissioner…Cameron… (Sound of glass breaking) is a prisoner at Benson’s… (A shot rings out, mortally wounding Cook) Sanitarium… (He drops the Dictaphone’s receiver and slumps to the floor)

The two men, Graham (Drew Allen) and Hodge (Carey Loftin), enter the office and decide it’s vital to take the Dictaphone record and break it, since its contents have enough evidence “to hang us all.” But not so fast, my fine-feathered thugs—O’Hara and Francis Blake have arrived on the scene just in the nick of time! O’Hara fires a shot at one of them, and that signals that it’s balsa-smashing time! During the melee, one of the goons managed to beat a hasty retreat, but Francis is able to shoot his partner before he puts any holes in Ted:

O’HARA: Nice shooting, Sergeant…
BLAKE: Yes, but the record’s smashed…
O’HARA: Maybe not beyond fixing…gather up the pieces while I call the Commissioner…

No, no, no, no! That is the last thing you want to do, you doody head! Sure as you’re born, O’Hara tells the faux Cameron the whole story:

MURKLAND: Did Cook have a chance to talk before he died?
O’HARA: He apparently made a statement on a Dictaphone dictating machine…the record’s broken, but I think I can piece it together…
MURKLAND: Okay…I’ll send over the coroner and a couple of boys from the homicide squad right away…
O’HARA: Very good, Commissioner…

You know, Ted…you can save the taxpayers a little spare change by just handing the damn record to Murkland and let him do a flamenco dance on what’s left…idiot…meanwhile, Francis has gathered up what pieces she was able to find and Ted tells her to go down to the drugstore to pick up some “strong, quick-drying cement…Duffy’s Plastic Cement, if they have it.” (I’ll bet the Duffy’s people were happy to get the plug.) There is a dissolve, as O’Hara is putting the finishing touches on his project, he’s approached by Steele (Robert J. Wilke), one of the boys from the “homicide squad” sent over by Murkland:

STEELE: I’m afraid our fingerprinting won’t do any good, Mr. O’Hara…Graham’s escaped and the other fellow is in the morgue…
O’HARA: If this recording is what I think it is, you’ll nab Murkland without the need for fingerprints…
STEELE: Think you’ll be able to play that thing when you get it finished?
O’HARA: I may have to help it over the rough spots…but I think it will play…

During this conversation, O’Hara and Blake are completely unaware that Steele’s fellow “detective” (John Crawford), is working away on the Dictaphone…planting a little booby-trap for our hero and heroine. His labors complete, O’Hara gets ready to listen to the record (meanwhile, the two phony cops lam out of the room with a phony excuse about having to rush the fingerprints to the office). Because of the record’s battered condition, O’Hara has to constantly start and stop the recording…while inside the Dictaphone a fuse is rapidly burning away, leading to a tremendous explosion…

Next Saturday, Chapter Six: Marked Evidence!

G-Men Never Forget (1948) – Chapter 4: Shipyard Saboteurs

OUR STORY SO FAR: Vic Murkland (Roy Barcroft)—racketeer and beneficiary of illegal HBO and Showtime—has escaped from a not-so-maximum security prison and has laid siege to an unnamed burg by trying to shakedown big bidness tycoon R.J. Cook (Edmund Cobb) with pranks like detonating a tunnel and burning down housing projects. He is able to get away with such misdeeds thanks to a presidential pardon Robert “Doc” Benson (Stanley Price), graduate of the Copacabana School of Medicine, who has applied plastic surgery to Murkland’s features and transformed him into the spitting image of Police Commissioner Angus Cameron (also played by Barcroft).

Trying to put the kibosh on Murkland’s reign of terror is Special Agent Ted O’Hara (Clayton Moore) who, without his faithful Indian sidekick, is pretty much playing it by ear…though he does have the assistance of Sergeant Francis Blake (Ramsay Ames), smokin’ hot policewoman and recipient of O’Hara all-too-transparent passes. In our last chapter, it would appear that O’Hara is endanger of having to try one of the local escort services since Francis is trapped in the back of a truck that’s about to go careening off a cliff…

As O’Hara continually fires upon the vehicle being driven by Duke Graham (Drew Allen) in a desperate attempt to escape the long arm of the law, Francis has managed to break the back windows of the truck and attach a rope (don’t ask me where she got it, maybe it was in her handbag) to the truck’s doors. Then—follow me now—at the moment when Duke leaps out of the truck to avoid going over the cliff and ending up as spam in a can; Blake throws the other end of the rope, perfectly looping it over the guard rail in order that the oncoming slack will pull both doors off. Then…she calmly walks out of the back before it takes that header over the cliff, just like she was disembarking a plane. (Honest to my grandma, you have to see it to believe it.) O’Hara pulls up in a car and brings her to her feet—she seems perfectly okay, needing neither Bactene nor Band-Aid.

Back at Doc Benson’s Sanitarium and House O’Waffles, Duke begins to pace the floor while Doc is working (“Siddown, you’re botherin’ me”) and then we witness something rare in a Republic serial: a nice little arty camera pan that winds up with the camera behind Benson’s back in order to focus on the door to his office, which opens and deposits Murkland:

GRAHAM: Hey, Chief—O’Hara and that female copper got away with the Cook payroll…

MURKLAND: I know it; O’Hara called me…gimme a cigarette…

GRAHAM: Since O’Hara’s on this case, Cook’s getting all the breaks…

MURKLAND: Yeah? We’re not through with Cook yet…we’re gonna sell him our protection insurance one way or another…when he pays off, we’ll be able to crack every merchant in town…

GRAHAM: Sounds good, Chief—what are you cooking up for Cook? Get it? What are you cooking up for Cook?

If I were Murkland, I’d-a shot him for that atrocious pun. But Murkland’s just come back from burning down an orphanage, so he’s in a pretty upbeat mood.

MURKLAND: Yeah, I get it…I want you to wait here…O’Hara’s bringing the money over to my office…and I’ll send it over to Cook by messenger…

GRAHAM: So…I do a little hi-jackin’, huh?

MURKLAND: That’s the general idea…I’ll call you as soon as O’Hara leaves my office…

In Commissioner Cameron’s office, Mr. Murkland. Leave us not start getting the big head here. Anyway, O’Hara and Blake are waiting for the faux Commissioner, with Francis pausing to primp in her hand mirror:

MURKLAND: It was good work…Cook will certainly be happy to get his money back…

O’HARA: Yes, but I’d feel a lot better if we had gotten a lead to Murkland…

Ted’s a glass half-empty kind of a guy. Besides, he’s standing right in front of you, idiot…how’s that for a lead?

MURKLAND: He does seem to have a perfect hideout, doesn’t he?

O’HARA: Well…clever at least…

BLAKE: Are you sure Murkland’s in the city? Perhaps he’s directing his gang by long distance…

MURKLAND: I believe you’ve got something there… (To O’Hara) You may be in the wrong town…

O’HARA: It’s a possibility, but…I don’t think that’s the answer…Murkland would almost have to be here…he works too fast to be out of town…

Ted says this line about working fast to Francis…make of it what you will.

O’HARA: …besides, he’s getting information about my moves…

Oh…I think everyone’s pretty much subscribed to that newsletter, Teddy.

BLAKE: Are you suggesting that there’s a leak in the police department?

O’HARA: No, but…again, that’s a possibility, too…

Tonto say: “Kemosabe just going through the motions here.” O’Hara suspects that the inside man might be in Cook’s employ, and he plans to pursue that angle when delivering the recovered payroll to his office. Francis is also curious about the connection to Fiddler’s car lot, so Ted suggests they pay him a visit, too, after dropping off the money. After the super cops leave the office, Murkland places a call to Benson at the sanitarium, bringing him up to speed and telling him that the previous plans will have to be changed since O’Hara’s volunteered to return the payroll. He also issues orders that Duke is to hie himself to the car lot and help Fiddler “clear out.”

At Fiddler’s Best Cars, Duke and Fiddler are carrying several Post Office-type buckets of files out to a parked truck—who would have thought racketeering required so much paperwork? Ted and Francis are seen pulling up:

FIDDLER (to Duke): Hey! Here come those nosy coppers!

GRAHAM: Get in back of the building…

O’Hara, having spotted Fiddler, yells after him…prompting Duke and Fiddler to greet their police pal with a round of gunfire. It soon becomes apparent that not one of the four individuals involved in this exchange of bullets can hit the broadside of a barn:

BLAKE: You think we can flank them?

O’HARA (looking around) Can you run a dump truck?

BLAKE: Yes, I think so…why?

Maybe it’s just me, but in a situation like this I’d want someone just a little more positive that they can operate heavy machinery.

O’HARA: Climb in and raise the body…then back up toward the shack…I’ll cover you…let’s go!

Oh, marvelous…neither of you can qualify on the shooting range, and yet you pick this point in the narrative to try something fancy. (Bring on the stuntwoman!) Francis climbs into the cab and soon has that truck working like she was a member of Local 645, using the raised back of the truck as a shield as they back up toward the two men. In the melee, Fiddler is shot and killed…so naturally, the ever-loyal Duke gets the hell out of Dodge by running, hopping a small fence, and making himself scarce:

O’HARA: That did it, Francis…let’s see what they were up to…

(Both of them meander towards Duke’s truck and examine the papers piled up in the back…)

BLAKE: It looks as if they were getting ready to clear out…

O’HARA: These records might be a tip off to Murkland…let’s take ‘em to my apartment…

It all comes back to your apartment, doesn’t it, big fella… Dissolve to O’Hara’s apartment, where Francis makes an unusual discovery:

BLAKE (glancing at a document): Another bill for gas and oil… (She picks up a large notepad) They were even saving blank paper…

O’HARA: Wait a minute… (He examines the pad) Odd that this should be on a used car lot…

BLAKE: What is it?

O’HARA: A transparency pad…you know, the kind you draw on and then have blueprinted…

BLAKE (looking it over): There aren’t any drawings on here…

O’HARA: No, but there was some sort of drawing on the sheet before this one…see, you can just make out the lines…

BLAKE: Probably a new engine or something…

O’HARA: We’ll find out…

Ted’s going to play Mr. Wizard again, but instead of setting fire to dollhouses he sprinkles a black, powdery substance on the pad of paper and then brushes the excess off:

BLAKE (reading out loud): Starboard…midsection…super structure…hanger plate…sounds like part of a ship…

O’HARA: It is…

BLAKE: What interest could Murkland have in shipbuilding?

O’HARA: Cook builds ships, and Murkland’s concentrating on them…we’ll take this to Cook’s office and see what goes…

Cut to R.J. Cook Enterprises. Cook, having been presented the document, searches for and finds a blueprint in a file cabinet and pronounces it an exact match. He explains to Ted and Francis that his ships are built in sections, and from the evidence presented Ted concludes that Murkland is planning to sabotage Cook’s shipyards by subtly changing the specifications on the blueprints. That’s when Cook drops the bombshell that the next ship is due to be assembled…that afternoon. (I hate when that happens.) Since they only have a half-hour, O’Hara tries to contact the shipyard’s superintendent by phone, but the operator informs them there’s no answer. Handing the phone to Francis, he urges her to “Keep trying…if you get through to the shipyard, stop everything til’ you hear from me.” Taking his leave, he tells Cook: “I’ll get out there and see if I can stop them before they hoist that super structure.”

Ted races to the shipyards like a Domino’s Pizza driver, squealing his tires at every opportunity. He arrives in the nick of time, and orders the foreman (Matty Roubert) to stop the super structure from being set. The foreman phones in the request…but suddenly slumps to the floor when shots ring out…and a swish pan reveals the gunman to be none other than Duke “Good to his mother” Graham:

GRAHAM: Relax, O’Hara…you’re going to see Cook’s toy go boom…

Well, we’ve managed to get this far into this chapter without allowing the stuntmen to get in a good workout, so O’Hara picks up a roll of blueprint and heaves it at Duke, which means the leaping and smashing of balsa wood will now commence. O’Hara overcomes his opponent in the struggle—and races outside where a crane starts to lower the super structure…

Next Saturday, Chapter Five: The Dead Man Speaks!

G-Men Never Forget (1948) – Chapter 3: Code Six Four Five

OUR STORY SO FAR: Evildoer Vic Murkland (Roy Barcroft) has escaped from prison and returned to his lucrative former career as a criminal mastermind, with plans to resurrect an insurance racket that will make him the envy of any investor out to make a quick buck with some lame Ponzi scheme. (Seriously, this guy has a finger in every pie…including lemonade stands and Girl Scout cookies.) His success depends on a little nip-and-tuck performed upon him by the dubious plastic surgeon Robert “Doc” Benson (Stanley Price)—who has given Murkland a celebrity makeover so as to be a dead ringer for Police Commissioner Angus Cameron…Murkland’s even got the voice and mannerisms down to a T! (This is easily explained by the fact that the same actor plays both roles…so pretend you don’t notice.)

Special Agent Ted O’Hara (Clayton Moore) has been assigned to recapture Murkland and though it is known throughout the length and longth of these United States that O’Hara led the fight for law and order in the early West, he’s been completely fooled by Murkland’s deception—as has his assistant, Francis Blake (Ramsay Ames), who’s in this serial for those people who don’t like Clayton Moore. When we last checked in on our hero O’Hara, he had confronted two members of the arson gang responsible for the destruction of numerous buildings in the city and fought them to a standstill. In other words, he’s lying unconscious in the back of an out-of-control truck that’s about to meet head-on with an electrical transformer…

Thanks to some judicious editing by Cliff Bell, Sr. and Sam Starr (they’re the ones responsible for the cheat cliffhangers in this opus) in Chapter 2, the surprise that Ted O’Hara jumped out of the truck just in the nick of time was not spoiled for us in this chapter. It does come as bit of a shock for Murkland, however—in his guise as Commissioner Cameron, he gets an early morning briefing from his pencil-pushing lackey, Det. Hayden (Doug Aylesworth):

HAYDEN: O’Hara called, just a few minutes ago…
MURKLAND: Yes?
HAYDEN: He got to the bottom of that sabotage racket…
MURKLAND: You mean the G.I. housing project?
HAYDEN: That’s right, sir…
MURKLAND (without enthusiasm): Glad to hear that…any details?
HAYDEN: No—but he said he’d report in later…and that he and Sergeant Blake are on their way over to Cook’s to get some data on that truck driver and his helper…
MURKLAND: Very good…
HAYDEN: Oh, by the way…that 645 shipment goes today…
MURKLAND: 645?
HAYDEN: Say…this Murkland business is really getting you down, isn’t it? That’s the Cook payroll shipment, for which you made the arrangements…

Grab him, Hayden! He’s just let his guard down! It’s not Cameron, it’s Vic Murkland! Get to a phone! Get some help! Get…oh, what’s the use…face it, pal…you’re always going to be just another faceless bureaucrat trapped behind a desk…idiot…

MURKLAND: Oh, of course, Hayden…I almost forgot…thanks for reminding me, I’ll take care of it…
HAYDEN: Very well, sir…

As Hayden continues on in his blissful ignorance, Murkland ponders the weight of his words (“645,” he mutters to himself…although those are really numbers rather than words) and then reaches ominously for the phone. Truth be told, I kind of like how the writers of this serial don’t subject us to an unnecessary rehash and instead just have the camera fade out as Murkland makes his call. (Then again, these subsequent chapters are only thirteen minutes long—they gotta trim the fat somewhere.)

Meanwhile, Agent O’Hara is having a chinwag with R.L. Cook (Edmund Cobb), the big bidness tycoon that Murkland and his racketeers have been trying to shake down:

O’HARA: So, obviously, the lumber was treated with pyroxene en route to the building site…
COOK: Amazing…
O’HARA: With extra guards put on the trucks, Mr. Cook, you won’t have any more interference with your G.I. home construction…
COOK: Feels good to know that Murkland will be off my neck for a while…
(The door opens, and Sergeant Francis Blake enters the room…)
BLAKE (handing O’Hara some papers) Here are the personnel cards on those two men…Parker was the driver, and his helper was Brent…
O’HARA: Hmm…only on the job two weeks…
COOK: A little sketchy…
O’HARA: …but it could cut a wedge in the Murkland gang…
COOK: A deep one, I hope…
O’HARA: That depends on what we can find out from these...
COOK: Good luck…
O’HARA (to Francis): It’ll save time if you check on Brent…
FRANCIS: A pleasure…
O’HARA: …and we’ll meet back at my place after I comb through Parker’s apartment…

"In addition to combing my hair." Ted…you hound! I know what you’re up to…soft lights…music…a bottle of wine…some Cheerios…you’ll sweep that gal off her feet before this chapter play is over, I’m betting. But enough of the foreplay—the scene now switches to Benson’s Sanitarium, where kindly old Doc Benson has just finished administering a little drug to force Commissioner Cameron to spill the beans about “645.” Meanwhile, the faux Cameron (Murkland) drops in for some cakes and tea:

MURKLAND: How is he, okay?
BENSON: Sure…
MURKLAND (after an awkward pause): Well, let’s have it!
GRAHAM: The Doc sure made him talk…
MURKLAND What’s this 645?
BENSON: The night payroll of the Cook shipyards…
GRAHAM: Big stuff…that 645 is code for the time the payroll leaves Cook’s office…
MURKLAND: Hunh…and the Commissioner’s office selects the guard…
GRAHAM: Better yet…the job is handled by just a single plainclothes man…so that he won’t attract any attention…
MURKLAND: Good deal…that ought to make it a cinch for you to knock over by yourself…

Um…I don’t like to mention this, seeing that Graham (Drew Allen) is up for a pay raise with his performance review and all, but his recent work of late hasn’t quite measured up to what we generally expect of henchmen at Murkland Enterprises…

MURKLAND: You send those guys over to Parker’s apartment?
GRAHAM: Yeah…O’Hara won’t find a thing when he gets there…

We are then taken to a shabby apartment, where two thugs (David Sharpe, George Magrill) are rifling through Mr. Parker’s personal effects—unaware that our man O’Hara has arrived on the scene. When Ted pulls a gun on one of them (he’s starting a nice little blaze in the wastebasket), he’s jumped from behind and the balsa wood smashing melee begins. (And since ace stuntman Sharpe is in on it, you can bet it’ll be dan-dan-dandy—particularly when he smashes a bit of crockery over Moore’s cranium and the daring and resourceful Masked Rider of the Plains falls to the ground like a sack of potatoes.)

TRENT: Say, you know who this guy is?
STALEY (rubbing his jaw): If he was a little heavier, he could be Joe Louis…
TRENT: It’s O’Hara…special agent…
STALEY: Ooooh…the big guy…

The two men truss O’Hara up like a roped calf with the cord from the window shades and Trent decides to contact Murkland personally to let him know they’ve captured “the big guy.” He leaves Staley in charge and exits the apartment while O’Hara furiously attempts to free himself from his bonds. To add insult to injury, Staley goes to the kitchen and makes himself a big honkin’ salami sandwich…and doesn’t even offer his guest a thing. (Miss Manners will be hearing of this in the morning, I assure you.)

Hours later, Cook is carefully counting out the payroll in his office as his secretary watches, and when that task is completed he instructs her to have the messenger sign the receipt. A dissolve then shows the messenger leaving the building, where he is hit from behind by Duke Graham, claiming the bag of cash for Murkland and the evil for which he stands. A car pulls up and Duke gets inside (the messenger, who’s finally gotten to his feet, fires a gun in the direction of the departing vehicle but to no avail), bestowing upon yours truly a generous helping of egg on my face (I honestly thought he’d end up screwing the pooch on this one).

Back at the apartment, O’Hara has finally managed to free himself—and he rolls across the floor to where Staley is seated, who’s just lit up another Lucky Strike (it’s light-up time) and is now going to have to snuff it for the duration of another scuffle. (And it’s really not much of a scuffle at that; O’Hara decks him with one punch.) O’Hara makes tracks…but not before making certain he’s got his hat. (It’s important to accessorize.)

Another dissolve shows O’Hara speeding along in the direction of a used car lot run by a lowlife (Eddie Acuff) named “Fiddler,” whose name was dropped by Staley in the conversation between he and Trent when deciding what should be done about O’Hara. Fortunately, Francis has gotten a jump on her partner, as she interrogates the salesman about his association with Brent:

FIDDLER: Brent?
BLAKE: His landlady says he used to work here…
FIDDLER (thinking): Brent…ah, that no-good character…yeah, he used to work here…about two months ago, he walked off the job…and you know what…?
BLAKE: Never mind the details…do you know where he went? Or anything else about him?
FIDDLER: Well, I’ll tell ya… (A car can be heard pulling up) Wait a minute…here comes a guy who knows the dope on him…
(The car comes to a stop, and a passenger gets out. When the car speeds off, the passenger is revealed to be Duke Graham…)
BLAKE (walking over to Duke with her gun drawn): This is a pleasant surprise…
(It’s a surprise, all right…but not too pleasant for Francis—she’s hit from behind by Fiddler…)
FIDDLER: I’m glad you showed up in time…this copper was asking a lot of questions about Brent…
GRAHAM: Anything else?
FIDDLER: No…
GRAHAM: Good…
FIDDLER: What’re we gonna do with her?
GRAHAM (thinking for a moment): Help me get her into that truck…
FIDDLER: Right!

The two men drag Francis’ lovely carcass into the back of the truck but in the distance, our main man O’Hara is speeding towards the car lot. He arrives just as the truck is driving off and, spotting Graham at the wheel begins pursuit. In the ensuing chase, both men fire back-and-forth at one another and the noise brings Frances to…but when O’Hara hits one of the truck’s tires, Duke decides it’s time to bail out—and Frances, unable to open the back doors, appears to have headed off a cliff to her doom…

Next Saturday, Chapter Four: Shipyard Saboteurs!

G-Men Never Forget (1948) – Chapter 2: 100,000 Volts

Our Story So Far: Vic Murkland (Roy Barcroft), criminal mastermind and an unpleasant person to be around in general, escapes the lax security of a penitentiary and makes his getaway to freedom…though forced to jettison his right-hand-man, Duke Graham (Drew Allen) in the attempt. Murkland arrives at his hideout, the sanitarium of Robert “Doc” Benson (Stanley Price), a medico of dubious degree who is able to use the plastic surgery techniques he learned via a correspondence course to change Murkland’s facial features into those of Commissioner Angus Cameron (also Barcroft), allowing them to put the snatch on Cameron and allow Murkland to impersonate him in his place.

Cameron, before his kidnapping, was fortunate in that he enlisted the aid of Special Agent Ted O’Hara (Clayton Moore), a gung-ho all-American who doesn’t drink, smoke or chew…but does have an eye for the females (known in criminal jurisprudence as “cherchez la femme”), enlisting the help of Detective Sergeant Francis Blake (Ramsay Ames). These two law enforcement professionals, unaware of Murkland’s deception, must combine their talents into taking down the powerful master criminal—otherwise, civilization as we know it will come to an end! (Well, okay…maybe it’s not all that bad. But it will provide twelve chapters of spills, thrills and chills.)

When we last looked in on the exploits of Agent Ted O’Hara, he had learned of Murkland’s attempt to destroy the brand-spanking new Channel Island Tunnel and was racing to prevent its destruction. Unfortunately, some careless individual—the kind of person who has to spoil a good time for everybody—set off dynamite in the tunnel, producing a rather wet torrent of water that threatens to engulf our hero before this darn cliffhanger even gets off the ground. But in the nick of time, O’Hara, astride his great horse Silver stolen motorcycle, escapes the deluge by closing a set of doors inside the tunnel that I’m pretty sure weren’t present in the previous chapter. This allows O’Hara to save the mayor and city officials who were also in the tunnel…although the loss of a few bureaucrats wouldn’t have been too much of a big deal. Those pinheads are a dime-a-dozen—it’s voters who are irreplaceable.

Meanwhile, back at City Hall:

CAMERON: I’d say Mr. Cook is getting a break with you on the case, O’Hara…your quick thinking and fast action saved the tunnel from complete destruction…
BLAKE: And what’s more important, you saved the lives of a lot of people…
O’HARA: But I didn’t catch Murkland or any of his gang…he’s smart…he has brains…

And he’s sitting right in front of you…idiot…

(Intercom buzzes)
CAMERON: Excuse me… (Presses button) Yes?
VOICE: Mr. Cook’s on the phone…
(Cameron hands the receiver extension to Ted, and then answers with the other)
CAMERON: Hello, Cook?
COOK: Cameron…I just received another extortion demand from the Murkland gang…they threaten my G.I. housing plan…
CAMERON: Surely you’re not going to pay off?
COOK: Certainly not…but you must put more men to guard my various construction jobs…
CAMERON: I’ll give you every available man in my department…right…goodbye… (Hanging up the phone, to O’Hara) What do you suggest?
O’HARA: First, I’ll check on all of Cook’s construction jobs to see where they’re vulnerable…
BLAKE: Do you want me to help?
O’HARA: Good idea! Let’s go…

Boy, he just made Frances’ day…he’s finally accepted her as a colleague, and not just some lovely who looks quite fetching disguised as a moll (see last chapter). As they leave the office, Cameron pulls out a match and begins chewing on one end—which is Vic Murkland’s trademark OCD calling card! He places a call to the sanitarium, where Benson, Graham and Slater are cooling their heels with the real Cameron:

BENSON: Benson Sanitarium…
MURKLAND: Murkland speaking…
BENSON: Oh, I’m glad you called…Commissioner Cameron has gone on a hunger strike…

Let my people go!

BENSON: Duke wants to bump him…
MURKLAND: No! Certainly not! We’ve got to save him to take the rap when I finish my impersonation of him…

He’ll just be thinner, that’s all…

MURKLAND: If he gets too weak, feed him by force…
BENSON: Okay, boss… (To Slater) Take him away!
MURKLAND: Put Duke on…
BENSON: Duke…
(As Slater wheels Cameron out of the room, Duke grasps the phone receiver…)
GRAHAM: Yeah, Chief…
MURKLAND: I’ve got a little job for you, Duke…Cook just called and won’t buy our protection…put the heat on him…
GRAHAM: Right…I’m on my way… (To Benson) This is gonna hurt Cook more than it does me…

We are then treated to a montage of an unknown hand breaking the glass on a fire alarm and pressing the button, followed by a newspaper headline that screams: COOK BUILDING BURNS (and that’s followed by firemen sliding down a fire pole and getting into trucks, to make sure the slower people in the audience keep up). Another headline follows: MANY LOSE LIVES IN FIRE! There is then a shot of O’Hara and Blake driving furiously behind fire trucks, and another headline reads: TENTH MYSTERIOUS FIRE! (I don’t want to say anything before all the facts are in…but I suspect Duke meant something with that “gonna hurt Cook more than it does me” crack.)

We then cut to a scene where Frances is unwrapping what appears to be a dollhouse. She says to O’Hara: “Well, here’s your dollhouse…but what you want with it I can’t imagine.” I also refuse to comment further—but all seriousness aside, O’Hara plans to use it a tool of study as to what caused the ten previous fires:

O’HARA: …if my analysis is correct, the Murkland gang is using pyroxene to start the fires at the Cook Enterprises…
BLAKE: Pyroxene! I’ve heard of that!

Oh, you have not…you’re just grasping onto any explanation that will wipe away the realization your boyfriend plays with dollhouses, you silly bimbo.

O’HARA: It’s safe in a liquid form…but highly inflammable when dry…I believe they spray it on…and when it becomes thoroughly dry it bursts into flames…

You’re thinking of the Pyroxene that comes in an aerosol…Pyroxene Roll-On not only goes on dry, but it’s strong enough for a woman.

O’HARA: The heat generated is so tremendous that it destroys everything in its area…understand?
BLAKE: Now I see the why of the dollhouse…well, if I have to wait twenty-four hours for results I may just as well be comfortable…
O’HARA: Hardly so long as that…wait and see…

O’Hara drags over a floor lamp and shines it on the dollhouse, explaining that he only used a little pyroxene and that the heat from the lamp should dry it out quickly. No sooner has this sentence come out of his mouth when the dollhouse goes up in flames as if it had been napalmed:

BLAKE: Your analysis was right…that pyroxene is dangerous stuff…
O’HARA: It sure is… (He throws a blanket over the dollhouse to squelch the flames) So dangerous it can only be sold by a government-bonded company…
BLAKE: That would be the Cornwall Chemical Company on the other side of town…they’re the only company operating under government bond…

Don’t tell me you had that memorized…

O’HARA: All right, have the Commissioner put a stop order on the pyroxene shipment…and tell him I’m on my way to the Cornwall Chemical Company…

Send me my mail there! Ted, upstanding Boy-Scout-of-a-guy that he is, doesn’t realize that the Commissioner is in fact his nemesis Vic Murkland. So when he arrives at the C.C.C. and finds Duke outside loading up with plenty o’pyroxene, a chase naturally ensues. As both Ted and Duke are putting the pedal to the metal, Duke spots a freight train racing beside him and…well, you know how henchmen are. Duke easily eludes Ted, who in playing “chicken” with the locomotive stops just in the nick of time…and losing his prey in the process.

O’Hara and Blake wind up in the office of R.J. Cook (Edmund Cobb), and O’Hara explains to him what’s been going down:

O’HARA: …and you see, Mr. Cook—by spraying pyroxene onto the lumber before it went into the building, they didn’t have to be on the job to start the fire…
COOK: I wonder if all the lumber in my yard has been treated that way…
O’HARA: No, or it would have gone up in smoke before now…I’m certain they treat the lumber after it leaves the yard and before it reaches the job…
BLAKE: That must mean that some of your drivers are selling out…
O’HARA: Obviously…and now to prove we’re right—Mr. Cook, your yard runs a night shift, doesn’t it?
COOK: Yes…

“Although from what you’ve told me, I intend to keep those kids out of my yard from now on…”

O’HARA: Well, Sergeant Blake and myself will take the night guard’s place on the Allen Street job…now tonight, when the lumber is delivered…

Fade to night, and a building with a sign that reads: “Allen Street Development.” Though Ted and Frances have made no attempt to disguise themselves as workers, they’re just officious enough to stop a truck that’s carrying a load of lumber and has just been driven into the yard. Two hoodlums get out the vehicle, and O’Hara says to one of them: “Just a minute, men…I want to inspect that load of lumber.”

“Hop to it, brother—nobody’s stopping you,” returns one of them, a tall, lanky individual who should be instantly recognizable as Tom Steele, ace stuntman and Republic extra who makes the first of his three appearances in G-Men Never Forget. In the Balcony’s Laughing Gravy has devised the perfect drinking game that involves Steele and his serial appearances: “…pour yourself a shot and down it every time stuntman Tom Steele shows up as a different character. Down two shots every time he’s wearing a silly moustache.” In G-Men, however, you’ll be snockered much faster if you use the other goon with Steele, stuntman Dale Van Sickel, as your focal point—he plays five different henchmen in this one.

Anyway, O’Hara cuts some sample fragments from the lumber and then takes them over to his Junior Chemistry Set—where, after dousing them with a combination of chemicals, turns to Blake and seriously intones: “It’s a positive test, Frances.” (I sorta get the feeling that’s not the first time she’s heard that—rimshot!) Ted tells the two men that they’re under arrest for attempted arson, and Van Sickel decks him, sending him to the ground. Frances scoops up O’Hara’s gun and fires after the fleeing arsonists, who, cut off from their ride, attempt to start a second truck in order to take it on the lam. Frances brings Ted to, and as the two goons ride off, Ted climbs onto the back of the truck, determined not to let them get away. Finding Steele in the back, O’Hara engages in a rigorous series of fisticuffs while Van Sickel drives on—but in fighting for O’Hara’s gun, the firearm goes off and kills Van Sickel, who slumps over in the driver’s seat, his foot causing the truck to careen off the main drag. The truck is headed for a barbed wire fence on which hangs a sign that reads: DANGER – KEEP OUT – 100,000 VOLTS. (The fence surrounds a series of electrical transformers.) Stuntman Steele flees out of the back of the truck to escape being barbecued…but O’Hara is not so lucky…

Next Saturday, Chapter Three: Code Six Four Five!