OUR STORY SO FAR: Britt Reid (Gordon Jones), determined to
smash the “stolen car” racket, allows his car to be taken from a parking lot he
suspects, then trails it to the Meadows Garage, where it mysteriously vanishes. Reid recognizes one of the garage mechanics
as Pete (John Kelly), a racketeer formerly with the flying school; and that
night, as The Green Hornet, he visits the garage to question Pete. Pete, alarmed at the sight of The Hornet,
makes a dash to escape. In his “Black
Beauty” driven by Kato (Keye Luke), The Hornet pursues and overtakes Pete’s car
and…
…watching the final minutes of Chapter 4 (“Pillar of Flame”)
and the beginning of this chapter, it’s not hard to suss out how Pete floats
from job to job throughout The Green Hornet (he was one of the workers on “the
tunnel job” in Chapter 1, then turns up as a mechanic at the flying school in
Chapters 3 and 4): he possesses the most remarkable survival skills…namely,
getting out while the getting’s good (“He’s too tough for me!”). In the last chapter, he and The Hornet were
engaged in a struggle to the death when Pete fortuitously found a wrench on the
floor of his vehicle and socked G.H. with it, then leapt from the car in order
to avoid the conflagration eminent when the car carrying the unconscious Hornet
slammed into the pumps at a gas station.
You would think such an incident would wind up incinerating
the merest of mortals…but this is Britt Freaking Reid we’re talking about. He’s just got a nasty boo-boo (and he’s a
little out of it), and when Kato arrives at the station in the Black Beauty he
carries the unconscious form of his boss to the car. Watching from a distance, a smug,
self-satisfied Pete says to himself: “That finished the Hornet.” Kato then revs up the super car and drives
off, just in time to avoid a couple of uniformed flatfoots (or should that be
flatfeet?) who are following in a squad car.
The supersonic speed of the Black Beauty soon makes this an exercise in
futility.
FIRST COP: It’s no use…I can’t
catch that thunderbolt…
SECOND COP: Catch him? That thing travels faster than the bullets I sent after him!
Zipping along the same mountain roads my BBFF Stacia swears are also in The Phantom Creeps, Reid starts to stir
when Kato tells him to put his shoes on since they’re nearly at Grandma’s:
KATO: You all right, Mr. Britt?
HORNET: All right, Kato…what
happened to Pete?
KATO: There was no time to find
out…the police came…
HORNET: Head for home…
“I need a glass of Chardonnay and a good soak in some bath
salts to clear my head.” Pulling into
the secret garage, the two men pull back the shelf and slip along the secret
passageway to their sleeping quarters.
(I would kill to have something like that in my house.)
The next morning, we find that despite allowing Pete to
escape, Reid is able to keep the hoodlum and the people who employ him at bay
because he buys his ink by the barrel:
ANDY (entering Monroe ’s office with a copy of the newspaper): Look at this! Meadows must be crazy to pull a stunt like that!
What I found so amusing about this is that the telephone is directly next to Monroe (Cy Kendall)…but
he picks it up and sets it down in front of Andy the Thug (Ralph Dunn). (“I can’t be bothered to make phone
calls…that’s why you’re on the
payroll!”) There is then a scene change
(with a nifty “lightning bolt” effect) and we find Meadows (Clyde Dilson)
talking to Pete in his office.
PETE: …I conked the Hornet but saw
that crash coming and I had to jump!
MEADOWS: What makes you think he
was killed?
PETE: That car of his came roaring
up and that goggled chauffeur jumped out and dragged him out of the wreck—as
limp as a wet rag!
(Their conversation is interrupted
by the ring of a telephone)
MEADOWS (into the receiver):
Yes…Meadows speaking…
MEADOWS: What’s that?
“Oh…well, that explains it…I read The Herald-Dispatch…”
MEADOWS: I didn’t know it was Reid’s car! I’ll get it out of here before it can be traced…you
needn’t worry about the Hornet…he’s dead…
Ending his conversation with Monroe ,
Meadows turns to Pete…
MEADOWS: That job that Corey
brought in yesterday belonged to Britt Reid…
PETE: Yeah, I know…but…
MEADOWS (interrupting him): What’s
been done to it?
PETE: Nothing—it’s still in the
shop…
So Meadows rises from his desk chair, and turns to a
calendar on the wall behind him. Tossing
the calendar aside, we see that it was covering up…a secret telephone! (Not nearly as impressive as The Fireplace
Phone in Jungle Queen, but good enough
for a small chuckle.) In the “pit” of
the garage, we see men dismantling car parts and in some cases repainting
automobiles to disguise the fact they were not obtained through legal
channels. A grease monkey yells out,
“Answer the phone, Lou!” and a man in coveralls whom we recognize from the last
chapter as Lou the mechanic (Robert Long) picks up the phone.
LOU: Yes, Mr. Meadows…this is Lou…
MEADOWS: Don’t alter that black
sedan that just came in…it’s Britt Reid’s…and she’s so hot it smokes…run it over to the junkyard
tonight and have them break it up…
Back in his office at The
Sentinel, Reid is perusing a letter when he stops, stares off into
space for a few seconds, and then wads up the paper as he makes his way back to
his desk. (Interesting…) His secretary, Lenore “Casey” Case (Anne
Nagel), enters and announces that the Police Commissioner (Stanley Andrews) is
here to see him.
COMMISSIONER: I just want to pin a
medal on The Sentinel…say;
your tip on the Meadows Auto Park will enable us to smash the accessory racket right open…
CASEY: The accessory racket?
COMMISSIONER: Sure! These crooked auto parks strip cars of
accessories and replace them with inferior articles…then they dispose of their
loot in their own stores…
REID: Don’t you think there’s a
connection between this racket and the outfits that are stealing cars?
COMMISSIONER: Sure there is! The small fry we’ve caught either can’t or
won’t give us a lead to the higher-ups…maybe it’s The Green Hornet himself!
CASEY: No…
COMMISSIONER (shifting in his
chair): What do you know about The Green Hornet, Miss Case?
I like how during this conversation actor Jones has kind of
a slight grin on his face due to the subject of “the Hornet” coming up.
CASEY: Well, nothing…but I don’t
think he’s a criminal…he’s had a hand
in breaking up every one of these rackets…
COMMISSIONER: The District Attorney
thinks he’s just clearing away competition…after
all; he has a couple of murders to his credit…
CASEY: That’s not been proved! He’s helped the police in every instance…and
as a reward; this paper puts a price
on his head!
COMMISSIONER: All right, Miss
Case…but when I catch your bandit boyfriend, I’m going to charge you with being an accessory! (To Reid) You can quote me as giving The Sentinel credit for smashing
the accessory racket!
REID: Thanks—I’ll do it!
The Commissioner takes his leave, and as Casey closes the
door behind her it’s only a few seconds before someone else barges into Reid’s
office…this time, it’s in the form of Michael Axford (Wade Boteler), Reid’s
bodyguard and the serial’s comic relief.
REID: All right, Michael—let’s have
it!
AXFORD: I was checkin’ the
junkyards like you told me…and at a place over on the East side—what do you
think I saw?
REID: Well, come on…come on…this is
no guessing game…
AXFORD: It was one of the fellows
that lifted your bus off the lot!
REID: You sure?
AXFORD: Sure I’m sure! Of course,
he’s not there now…he was just drivin’ away when I spotted him…
REID: Let’s go take a look at that
junkyard…
AXFORD: Sure…
Down on the street, ineffectual henchman Dean (Walter
McGrail) is working his regular shift stationed outside The Sentinel, keeping tabs on Reid’s coming-and-goings. His
partner Corey (Gene Rizzi) slowly pulls up alongside him in their car.
COREY: Hey, Dean…
DEAN: What’d ya find out?
COREY: Everything’s quiet at the junkyard…the police haven’t connected us
with the Meadows Auto Park …
DEAN: Good…
Dean then looks over to see Reid and Axford getting into
Axford’s car, so he slides into the shotgun seat and the two men follow our
heroes to the junkyard Axford was telling his boss about. Reid and Axford arrive at the yard, and a man
named Slim (William Pagan) plays customer service rep.
SLIM: What can I do for ya?
REID: I’m looking for a motor that
would do in a power boat…
SLIM: Well, I guess I can fix you
up… (Calling to his assistant) Jake…?
JAKE: Yeah?
SLIM: These gents are looking for a
motor…show ‘em what we’ve got…
Jake (Charles Sullivan) motions for Reid and Axford to
follow him, and by this time Dean and Corey have also arrived at the lot—taking
special care to hang back a bit so that they’re not spotted. Dean turns to his partner and says
disgustedly: “So they didn’t connect this yard with the parking lot, huh?”
COREY: Well, anyway—Reid’s givin’
us a chance for that job The Chief
ordered…
SLIM (approaching the two goons):
What are you guys doin’ here?
COREY: Pipe down, Slim…those two
birds who just came in are newspaper men…
DEAN: The young fella is Britt
Reid…editor of The Sentinel…
“I don’t know who that old fart is…except that he packs all
the punching power of a newborn kitten…”
Jake leads Reid and Axford to an area where several motors
have been stored, and when he walks off to let them browse, Reid asks his
bodyguard to “hand me that list of numbers.”
Looking at the registry numbers on the motors and comparing them to his
list, Reid finds a match (“Sufferin’ snakes!” exclaims Axford).
While this is going on, supervisor Slim is a bit uneasy with
Dean and Corey’s presence in the yard…
SLIM: Why pick my place for your
dirty work? I don’t like those kinds of
accidents…
COREY: You’ll have an accident
you’ll like less if you don’t obey
orders…
SLIM: Why you…
Slim goes after Corey but is restrained by Dean. So he allows the two gunsels access to a
ladder that’s lying by the shed where Reid and Axford are comparing numbers,
and Corey climbs the ladder to get to the roof.
Meanwhile, Reid needs additional information:
REID: Hey, Jake…come here a minute…
JAKE: Yeah?
REID: This one ought to be all
right, if the cylinders aren’t scored…
JAKE: This is a junkyard—not a showroom…you gotta take
‘em as you find ‘em…
SLIM (sauntering over): You gents
find what you want?
REID: No…they all seem to be in
pretty bad shape…
SLIM: Take a look at this
one…practically new…
Uh-oh…I don’t like the way Slim looked up, as if he knows
what’s going down. He pulls Jake over
out of the way, and motions for his assistant to look up in the direction of
the top of the shed. Axford happens to
look in the direction of Slim and Jake, and mutters to Reid: “I think we’re spotted…” Hearing a noise overhead, Reid and Axford
manage to get out of the way in time before this happens…
…yes, it’s the old
motorcycle-falling-off-the-roof-of-the-shed trick…and they nearly fell for
it. Axford, pissed because he was nearly
flattened by a Suzuki, brandishes his pistol and hollers up at his would-be
assassin: “Come down out of there, you murderin’ blackguard!” Reid rushes over to his sidekick.
REID (muttering): Put away that
gun…it was just an accident…
AXFORD: Well, it sure picked a fine
place to happen!
SLIM (also running over): I’m…I’m
sorry, men…I don’t know how that wreck got up there…
Innocent as a new born babe.
Baby rat, that is.
REID: Nobody was hurt, so…forget
it…
DEAN (as Corey is climbing down the
ladder on the opposite side of the shed): We try to tip Meadows that the
junkyard is spotted…
COREY: Our whole works will be spotted if we don’t stop
Reid…next time I’ll use a gun…
Well, if dropping a motorcycle on him doesn’t do the trick I
don’t know how dropping a gun will fare much better. But seeing as our two henchies have other duties
to perform, they rush off as Reid interrogates Slim:
REID: How many men do you have
working here?
SLIM: Just me and Jake!
REID: Well…I guess you don’t have
anything here we can use…
And that is that, ladies and gentlemen. Reid and Axford conclude their business as
Dean and Corey pull into Meadows’ garage, inquiring of Lou as to Meadows’
whereabouts. “In the office,” Lou tells
Dean. “What’s wrong?”
“Plenty,” Dean responds, as he and Corey head toward the
office. Meanwhile, Reid and Axford are
back on the road:
AXFORD: I tell ya, Reid…that was no
accident…it was attempted murder…
REID: You’re right, Axford…only you
didn’t get a bullet in your back when you lugged out that gun of yours…
AXFORD: But…ain’t we gonna get
them?
REID: It’s a job for the police…you and I are in the newspaper business…
Back in Meadows’ office:
COREY: Britt Reid was spotted at
the junkyard…he was out there lookin’ for his car…
MEADOWS: He wouldn’t find anything…it’s
still here…
DEAN: But we tried to get him…and
missed…
MEADOWS: What do you mean, missed…?
“You two idiots didn’t pull that old ‘falling motorcycle’
stunt again…did you?”
DEAN: We trailed Reid to the
junkyard…
And presumably he tells Meadows of the events surrounding
their latest cock-up, because a quick scene shift finds Reid at his desk,
talking on the phone—with Axford standing behind him.
REID: No, my car wasn’t there,
Commissioner…but there’s no doubt the
yard is connected with the other rackets in some way…
AXFORD: Tell him it was me that
spotted the place…
REID (grinning at Michael): I’ll
send Axford along to identify the men in case you catch them…
Man…I’m starting to get a little dizzy with all this
back-and-forth between the two offices…
COREY: The bigger porter was suspicious…but Reid just took it as an
accident…
MEADOWS: It’s no fault of yours the
whole thing wasn’t bungled…we can’t
send Reid’s car out there now…
DEAN: Drop it in the river!
MEADOWS: We can’t drive that far
through the streets with every prowl car in town on the lookout for it…it’s
gotta be destroyed…put a time bomb in it!
Well, there yuh go!
Problem solved! Incidentally, now
you know why this chapter is entitled “The…” Okay, it really wasn’t that hard
to dope out. We then find ourselves
inside Britt Reid’s bachelor pad, where he is preparing himself for another
long night of fighting crime, assisted by his faithful valet.
KATO (entering the room): Axford
has gone with the police, Mr. Britt…
REID: Well, we must get back before
he returns…
KATO: The Green Hornet will hunt Mr. Meadows?
REID: I’m convinced that that garage is the headquarters for the car-stealing racket…Meadows must face
(switching to Al Hodge voiceover) …The
Green Hornet tonight!
Cowabunga, boys and girls!
Cue the stock footage of G.H. and Kato ducking into the secret passage
and emerging in the garage, then climbing into the Black Beauty as it speeds
off into the night. The scene then
shifts to outside the Meadows Garage, where a man (Harry Tenbrook) is posted as
a lookout, with an eye peeled for cops.
Inside the garage, Lou the Mechanic shows off his handiwork under the
hood to Pete the Hoodlum and Meadows the Racketeer:
LOU: The bomb’s ready, boss…
MEADOWS: What time is she set for?
LOU: Exactly eleven…which gives me
plenty of time to get the car to that vacant lot…
MEADOWS: Keep it here a little
while…
I’m sorry? Did you
not see that clock on the wall beneath your dialogue? It’s 10:40pm .
LOU: What for? Why not run ‘er out now?
MEADOWS: We keep it on that vacant
lot too long the police may find it before
11 o’clock …
“Oh, I get it…we’ll just let it explode here, and that way
the police won’t find it at all. And
neither will they find any of us. Good
plan, boss…I can see why I wear the coveralls and you don’t.” Arriving at the garage (which follows a brief
scene in which the Green Hornet tells Kato to “silence your motor”), the Hornet
spots the sentry outside and fires his gas gun at him, allowing this bit player
to do a nice stagger-and-fall as he slumps to the ground unconscious. Standing over him, the Hornet mutters:
“Sorry…but you asked for it.” (“Please,
Mr. Hornet…would you knock me out with that gas gun? The kids would get such a kick out of it…”)
I don’t know why you three idiots are still standing
around…that clock is ticking off precious seconds. The Hornet, now skulking around in the
garage, makes his way to Meadows’ office and begins ransacking the joint,
looking for incriminating evidence.
Meadows tells Lou and Pete: “Hold it here a little longer…I’ll tell you
when to go.”
Oh, dearie dear.
Hearing Meadows make his way back to this office, the Hornet switches
off the lights inside to give his prey a little surprise.
MEADOWS (entering the office): Who
turned out that light?
HORNET: I did!
MEADOWS: The Green Hornet!
HORNET: Lower your voice…
MEADOWS (basso profundo): The Green Hornet! (Comedy
can only help a serial.)
HORNET: I want some information
concerning that car-stealing racket…
MEADOWS: Car-stealing?
HORNET: Yes…I happen to know you’re
part of the crime syndicate in this
town…that you’re a director of the good accessory stores…and you’re the real
owner of Slim’s Junkyard…you even have a shop in this building that alters
stolen cars!
“You left out those two Blimpies I own over on North
Boulevard …”
HORNET: I can give the police
enough information to send you to the pen for twenty years!
MEADOWS: What do you want?
HORNET: The name of the big boss in back of this crime
ring! I’ll give you one minute to talk,
Meadows…
LOU: Six minutes till that bomb
cracks off…that’s cuttin’ it pretty fine!
PETE: Run ‘er out now…
LOU: Meadows says to wait!
PETE: Not me…I’m takin’ her out!
Back in Meadows’ office…
HORNET: All right…time’s up!
MEADOWS: I don’t know his
name! I can show you how to reach
him…come this way!
HORNET: All right…but no tricks…
With the Hornet’s gas gun pressed against his cowardly back,
Meadows files out of the office…and immediately calls out: “Help! Lou!” (The
Hornet should probably have been clearer about that “no tricks” rule.) That’s the cue for the scrappy mechanic to
help his boss wrestle the Hornet to the ground, and usually by this time Pete
starts looking for the quickest way out of the building (“He’s too tough for
me!”). But surprisingly, Pete sticks
around to help Lou and Meadows, and as luck would have it, a wrench that was in
the booby-trapped car ends up in his hand as he looks for an opportunity to
bean the Hornet with it. G.H. whistles
for Kato to give him a little help, and inside the garage, Kato is able to stop
Lou from putting a few slugs into his employer by firing a spare gas gun in his
direction, rendering him unconscious.
The Hornet socks Pete and sends him to the floor…then issues
instructions to Kato. “That’s Meadows,” he says, pointing to the other
unconscious hood. “Put him in Britt
Reid’s car.”
Um…do you mean Reid’s Black
Beauty or the other vehicle? Because
as the two men drag the unconscious Meadows to the non-Black Beauty car, the
clock on the wall reads 11:00 …so…
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