Serial Saturdays returns this week with an installment from The Black Widow whose title sounds like it was cribbed from an old-time radio drama (“Today’s thrilling Shadow adventure: ‘Death Dials a Number’!”). We know, of course, that despite our fervent hopes and dreams, bossy author-amateur criminologist Steven Colt and his automobile were not sucked into the raging torrent stock footage that concluded the last episode (seriously—that water moves like there’s been recent flooding), but instead our hero leaps out of the car at the last minute in true Hal Duncan style (“Hanh?!!”).
Chapter 11 finds Steve conversing with Professor Henry Weston
(Sam Flint), who’s been stashed away in an undisclosed location to keep him out
of the evil clutches of Sombra, the Black Widow (Carol Forman), and her
confederates in crime. Weston reads
aloud from the latest edition of The
Daily Clarion—the newspaper, in the interest of full disclosure, that
hired Colt to work the Widow case in the first place.
WESTON (reading): “Another strange chapter was written into the Black Widow mystery early yesterday afternoon…the woman, held by the police as The Black Widow, collapsed in her cell and was pronounced dead…” (Putting down the paper) That’s quite a yarn…what do you think of it?
“Sounds like the lamest of serial plots to me.”
STEVE: It’s hard to say…but I’m not convinced The Black Widow is dead…
WESTON: What do you mean?
STEVE: Is it possible for a person to take a drug that would make him appear
dead for any length of time? You know—no
pulse or heart action?
WESTON: Yes…there are a few rare
cataleptic drugs that would do that…
“Oh…and Flintstones Chewables.” Weston wants to know why, and that’s when
Steve produces the pieces of paper he found in the coffee cup that was on the
floor of Sombra’s cell.
WESTON (having a whiff): Strange
odor…that could contain a drug!
STEVE: Exactly…if we could analyze
that paper, we might confirm my suspicions…
WESTON: What are we waiting for?
“After all—I am the science-making guy!” After a dissolve, Weston is seen peering into a microscope, then flipping through a book as Steve looks on, contributing nothing. The professor deduces that the paper has been coated with a made-up drug called “carbobenetrol.”
WESTON: …a rare drug…used in
experimental medicine to induce a cataleptic state…developed by Dr. Z.V. Jaffa
in 1942…
Ho ho! The very same
Jaffa (I. Stanford Jolley) working for Her Maliciousness! To Colt, this cinches it—The Black Widow is
back in business, baby, and in the ensuing conversation with Weston we learn a
little about the Doc’s heinous background:
WESTON: …he was a brilliant organic chemist…during the
war, he was convicted of illegal sale of hypnotic drug…while awaiting an
appeal…in the federal jail…he died suddenly of a heart attack…
Coincidence? Not on
your test tube, my boy! “It’s just a
hunch,” muses Colt, “but I’m going to check with the authorities on this Jaffa character…”
Weston wishes him good luck, and with another dissolve we’re
riding along in the new Coltmobile with Steve and the bane of his existence
(and the woman he’ll probably marry), irritating gal reporter Joyce Winters
(Virginia Lindley).
JOYCE: All right, Sherlock…so you’ve got a lead to someone who might know about a…Doctor Joshua that Weston told you about…
STEVE: The name is Jaffa…
JOYCE: That’s what I said…
Normally I find Joyce about as funny as painful rectal
itch—but there’s just something about the way Lindley delivered that line that
made me laugh out loud.
STEVE: Well, anyway…he was a
cellmate of a man named Fillmore Hagain…who now owns The Classic Book Shop…
STEVE: I’m Steven Colt…
HAGAIN: The writer?
STEVE: That’s right…
HAGAIN: Oh, I’ve read many of your
books, Mr. Colt…
“That’s not writing, that’s typing!”
HAGAIN: Were you looking for
something special?
STEVE: Yes, some confidential
information…I’m doing some investigating on a Doctor Jaffa…he was your…roommate for a while…
You can’t say our boy isn’t tactful about Hagain’s prison
record. Hagain himself delicately
references it when he follows up with “But there isn’t much I can tell you…you
see, I never saw him before or after my…uh…detention.”
HAGAIN: My help?
STEVE: It’s very simple—all you
have to do is put an ad in the personals column…
“Wanted: nubile young teen with milkmaid costume. Must also provide own cow.” With Joyce as stenographer, Steve dictates:
“To Z.V.J.: Amazing prison disclosure…secret of living death manuscript for
sale…write Hagain, Classic Book Shop…”
HAGAIN (after being handed the
paper): But I don’t understand…
STEVE: Merely a device that may
smoke out Dr. Jaffa…
HAGAIN: Oh, I see…
STEVE: Put it in all the local
papers and call me if an answer comes through…
You do like to order people around, don’t you, son? Steve and Joyce say their goodbyes, and the
fact that the camera chooses to linger on Hagain after our heroic couple has
exited the shop is a tip-off to the audience that the bookseller is up to no
good. Hagain walks over to a bookshelf,
and pulls down a false book façade to reveal a radio transmitter (I thought
this was kinda nifty)…which he uses to contact his old cellmate Jaffa.
JAFFA: Colt? What did he
want?
HAGAIN: He suspects you’re alive…he wants me to put an ad in the
papers to see whether you’ll bite…
SOMBRA (entering the room and
standing over Jaffa): Hagain…I want you to come over here…at once…
HAGAIN: Okay…
By the way—I don’t know why Sombra is always lounging around
her hideout clad only in a bathrobe but I imagine if your job involves little
more than ordering subordinates around you can enjoy that luxury. Speaking of which, let’s hear from her pet
thug Nick Ward (Anthony Warde):
SOMBRA: You put it so crudely…
“Well, then—how about this…please permit me the pleasure of
removing him from this realm and sending him straight to H-E-double hockey
sticks.”
JAFFA: But quite clearly…it’s our lives or his…Steve Colt is the one person standing in the way
of our getting the atomic rocket…
WARD: And like you said—without it,
Hitomu can’t work out his plans to become Number One Man of the World!
SOMBRA: An astute observation, Ward…but before we can take action, everything
must first be arranged with Hagain…
We fade out, and then back in again as Steve and Joyce
return to the Classic Book Shop.
HAGAIN: Yes—I have it here in my
desk… (He walks over to the desk and pulls out a piece of paper) And only two days after I placed the ad!
STEVE (reading): “Understand your
offer and will be pleased to talk business with you…34 Chestnut Lane today at
three…Z.V.J….that’s Jaffa, all right!
DORIS: Oh, it worked!
Steve shakes congratulatory hands with Hagain as he and
Joyce scatter, with Joyce picking up a book as they depart (“Hey…you gonna pay
for that?”). The reason for her petty
larceny becomes clear in a few: Hagain contacts Jaffa again by bookshelf
transmitter to let him know Colt has taken the bait, and when he retires to his
desk for a little light reading he gets a return visit from Steve…who informs
him that Joyce took the wrong book by mistake, and the reason why:
The old concealed-tape-recorder-in-the-book-trick…and you fell for it! Which signals that it’s time for the contractual Republic Fist Fight™, made more amusing this time by the fact that the stuntman doing the work of Hagain is clearly noticeable (he has the wrong hair color, for one thing).
 |
| Also: the stuntman has lost his permanent wave. |
STEVE: You remember the first time
I talked to him he said he never saw Jaffa before or after he got out of jail?
JOYCE: So?
STEVE: How could he see him after
he got out if he supposedly died in jail?
JOYCE: Now why didn’t I think of
that?
“Because you’re a girl,
that’s why.” No, I’m going to have to go
with Joycie on this one—there’s nothing dishonest about saying you never saw
somebody after they died if they died (and Hagain knew of Jaffa’s heart attack,
because Colt as much told him). The
screenwriters kind of fell down here; it would have made more sense if Steve
had said “Well, when I didn’t see his personals ad in The Clarion I suspected something was up.” Or to shorthand it: “The guy was a convicted
felon, so I profiled him. Deal with it.”
This matters precious little in the long run, because a
stock shot of the residence at 34 Chestnut Lane…
…reveals a house used in many a Republic serial, and you can bet the ranch, your car and the money you squirreled away for the kids’ further education that this sumbitch is going to be blown to smithereernies before this chapter is finis. Let’s set the stage for this dwelling to be blowed up real good—we find Ward packing the joint with several boxes clearly marked “explosives,” then he telephones Sombra to dial him back at his number…
…which sets off a spark in the wires, and that presumably will activate said explosives once Ward hooks it up. He informs Sombra that he’ll contact her when Colt gets there, and with a dissolve and a short scene of an approaching car, Steve and Joyce arrive at their destination.
JOYCE: All right, but…I don’t like
it…
“Now…which one is the horn again?” Steve approaches the house, and he’s being
watched by Ward from a glen a bit further away.
When Nick closes his car door after entering the vehicle to contact
Sombra, there’s a glint reflected off the sun that attracts Joyce’s
attention…and so she decides to mosey over and investigate:
Yes, some idiot gave Joyce a gun. What could possibly go wrong in this
scenario? As it turns out, plenty—while
she gets the drop on Nick, eventually he overpowers her as he’s getting out of
the car. Nick informs Sombra by radio
that Colt is in the house, and he snarls to Joyce: “You got here just in time to see your
boyfriend blown all over the countryside!”
2 comments:
I've just been reading your very funny posts about this serial. Was this the last episode?
AndiJF encouraged my behavior:
I've just been reading your very funny posts about this serial. Was this the last episode?
There are two more chapters in the stirring saga of The Black Widow...but I never seem to be able to find the time to finish the darn thing. One of these days I will.
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