As days go…I’ve experienced better. It started last night, when I had just finished putting the finishing touches on this blog post excuse. The indispensable Internets stopped working for your humble narrator, and he quickly surmised—due to the inclement weather (not that I’m complaining—we need the rain)—that Windstream was apparently experiencing an outage. (For those of you who reside in a rural area where your Internet needs depend on Windstream…you have my unceasing empathy. They really are terrible.)
I couldn’t immediately see to the problem upon rising early
this morning because I had an appointment to see my endocrinologist and that
necessitated getting out the door before 7am.
(My appointment was at 8:15, and Mumsie is a stickler for being
early.) The good news is that the doctor
was effusive in his praise for my progress on the diabetes front; my A1C level
was waaaaay down, and overall, I’m managing it like a bitch. (There was no celebratory donut, sadly
enough.) Having returned from the docs
(and a side trip to Kroger Nation for a case of water and a bag of ice), I
fired up the laptop…and learned to my disappointment the outage was still
raging on.
I would rather cut off a pinky finger than deal with the
Windstream people. For starters, you must
negotiate one of those automated customer service deals…and this one is a real
hoot, because the voice informs you: “I understand complete sentences, so speak
to me like a real person.”
Unfortunately, they leave out the “stupid” between “real” and “person”;
I had to repeat my phone number three times before Mr. Automated Service Rep
acknowledged my existence. Then, after
going through that charade, you get to speak to a real person who makes the
automated guy look like a member of MENSA.
Now, I’m very sympathetic to the fact that the real people are only
making $7-8 an hour to read from a manual…but I knew the trouble had to be on
their end, and this jadrool kept telling me it was on mine. He tells me that someone from “Internal” will
call me back, and that could take anywhere from 24-48 hours.
I actually resorted to cleaning up my room while waiting for the Internet to return. My mother was delighted. |
In retrospect, I was certain that the first regular Thrilling Days of Yesteryear feature to
bite the dust would B-Western
Wednesdays.
I had every intention of getting a book read this week. I really did.
I did not anticipate, however, that I would spend a good deal of the
time I normally set aside for this purpose on other pursuits. For example, I am in the process of trying to
whip a movie database into shape. I own
a lot of movies, and I like to keep track of what I have because…well, there’s
been a time or two where I have made DVD purchases and then learned to my
chagrin I already have a copy in the dusty TDOY
archives. I don’t do this too often
(otherwise I would start to wonder if I should see my doctor about the early
onslaught of senile dementia) …but if I had a nickel for every time I’ve burned
a DVR’d movie to disc that I already own—or by that same token, didn’t DVR a movie because I thought I
already owned it—I would be the proud owner of many nickels. I’ve also got some Radio Spirits and
ClassicFlix assignments in my inbox that will need to be completed before the
‘rents and I get away for a little R&R over the holidays.
The book that I planned to crack open—Hold
That Joan, by my Facebook chum Ben Ohmart—never received the
crack-opening it was due. As the
deadline to have a book read and the post completed got nearer and nearer, I
considered calling an audible: I bought—on an impulse buy—a cute little Kindle
book entitled F
in Exams: The Very Best Totally Wrong Test Answers and I devoured that
in the time it takes my father to go once around the DISH channel lineup
looking for a show about cops arresting people.
I cannot emphasize enough the word “cute” when describing this book, put
together by Richard Benson. In a
nutshell, it’s a tome that lists questions that originally appeared on tests
and the hi-larious responses from the test takers who, because they did not
know the answer, did what I did on so many examinations in my high school and
college days—baffle them with bovine excrement as opposed to dazzling them with
brilliance. The problem with the content
in F in Exams is that none of these
answers are really all that funny; oftentimes one is left with the impression that
someone had a copy of Joe Miller’s joke book in their back pocket during the
test.
Here’s an example:
I remember a broadcast of The Jack Benny Program where Jack tells announcer Don Wilson that he has an agreement with Abbott & Costello: “We leave them alone, and they leave us alone.” So, I decided to scrap a review of F in Exams…which necessitated deciding between continuing to read books and writing about them on the blog…or just spending that time continuing to watch and write about movies.
To no one’s surprise, throwing the book review feature under
the bus didn’t require a great deal of soul-searching. (I really enjoy watching movies more.)
I will say this: I have not completely abandoned the book
review feature of this blog. It’s just
that it will not be appearing with the regularity as the other fine features
you’ve come to know and love here at TDOY. If I’m reading a book and decide to do a
little write-up in a blog post, fine. If
I’m reading a book and I decide it’s not
worth mentioning, also fine. If I just
don’t feel like reading…well, that’s okay as well. (To be honest, while I’m not in the habit of
giving out tips…if it were my money, I’d bet on this last one.)
What will replace the book review feature, I hear people
asking? Well, at this point I haven’t
really decided. There are movies I watch
that I’d like to write about…except they really don’t fit into the admittedly
narrow parameters here on the blog, and as such, I’m thinking about allotting
Mondays to give them a fair hearing. Andrew “Grover” Leal has been
pestering the dickens out of me to resurrect Doris
Day(s), so there’s another option.
Which reminds me that it’s been a while since I did anything TV-related
on the blog (one of the reasons I made a concerted effort to participate in the
recent Classic
TV Blog Association Blogathon—that, and because I thought it would
be tremendous fun). Whatever I
ultimately decide, I hope the relegation of book reports to semi-regular status
doesn’t disappoint too many of you among the TDOY faithful. Tomorrow,
I’ll resume with the regular blog content and Overlooked Films on Tuesdays. (I just hope there’s not another rain delay.)
5 comments:
ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEET JACK BENNY --- now THAT is something I'd pay money to see/hear.
Remember that Johnny Mack Brown movie with Tex Ritter that you mentioned? I watched it. Maybe one of these days I'll even write about it.
Andrew “Grover” Leal has been pestering the dickens out of me to resurrect Doris Day(s), so there’s another option.
No.
Just...No.
Let's put it into the form of a syllogism:
Failure is not an option.
Doris Day is full of fail.
Therefore Doris Day is not an option.
No celebratory donut?!
I promise I did read and enjoy the entire piece (book review or not, B western Wednesday, and the horror that is Windstream), but that stuck with me for some reason.
Our Lady of Great Caftan inquired:
No celebratory donut?!
*sigh* No donut.
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