Mayberry Tuesdays #16: “Aunt Bee and the Captain” (01/20/69, prod. no. 0119)

Last week on Mayberry Mondays, the town’s resident spinster and future cat-lady* Beatrice “Aunt Bee” Taylor (Francis Bavier) took a Caribbean cruise, fell in love with the captain (Will Geer) piloting the ship and convinced him to retire and move to television’s favorite sleepy little hamlet where presumably they will live out their remaining years clipping coupons and constantly adjusting the house thermostat because one is too hot and the other too cold. Aunt Bee’s intended hasn’t touched down in Mayberry yet, but she’s anxiously preparing for his arrival as our episode opens—she makes her entrance from the back exit of the kitchen carrying in some lovely posies, as city council head/poor dirt farmer Sam Jones (Ken Berry) and his idiot son Mike (Buddy Foster) look on…

AUNT BEE: Oh my, it’s nice outside…it’s just a beautiful, beautiful day…
SAM: Yeah…
AUNT BEE: Oh, and I’m so glad the roses are in bloom—Charles just loves flowers…

I hear he’s partial to African violets. We hear the front doorbell, and Aunt Bee excuses herself to see who’s at the door. Sam and Mike continue one of those awkward conversations that fathers and sons often have when they have nothing else to talk about.

MIKE: I don’t think it’s such a beautiful day…it’s kind of hot and dusty…
SAM: Well…you’re not engaged to be married…

And until opinion starts to swing toward acceptance of same-sex marriage in Mayberry, he probably never will—because let’s face it…no woman is going to risk marrying that kid and bringing more idiot children into the world…anyway, the visitor at the door is an elderly woman named Ella Fairchild—who’s played by veteran character actress Renie Riano, a face you might recognize from the Nancy Drew films cranked out by Warner Bros. in 1938 and 1939 (she played the Drew’s housekeeper, Effie Schneider). Ella wants to know all the sordid details about how Bee managed to land her beau—how did they meet, when did he propose, and how many roofies did she slip into his drink—and Aunt Bee, of course, has to show off her ring to her friend. Before Bee can fill her in, she’s interrupted by the phone.

AUNT BEE: Oh, hello, Mr. Foley…uh-huh… (To Sam, who’s just entered the room) It’s for me, Sam, it’s all right… (Sam whispers a greeting to Ella and she does a little bit of business of pointing to her ring finger to let him know she’s checked out Bee’s bling) Hello…oh? Aw…I wanted the baby shrimp for the salad…you think you could order me some? The reception isn’t till Tuesday…
ELLA: Reception?
SAM: Yes, it’s an engagement reception for the captain…
AUNT BEE (to Ella): The captain’s arriving tomorrow…he’s going to stay right here… (Back on the phone) What about the rest of the order, Mr. Foley?
ELLA (to Sam): Oh, I just love those shipboard romances…you know, I’ve always thought I might take a Caribbean cruise myself…how did they meet?
SAM: Well, I think they met…
AUNT BEE (still on the phone, but talking to Ella): Second day out on deck…we just got talking and…one thing led to another, and…well, that night, we stayed up till almost ten-thirty just chatting, and… (Back to the phone) Oh…Mister…would you start over, Mr. Foley—I was interrupted…
ELLA (to Sam): When did he propose?
SAM: Well, according to Aunt Bee, he…
AUNT BEE (again interrupting, this time clutching the phone to her chest): Last night out…it was chilly on deck, and he invited me into his cabin for coffee and biscuits…and…
SAM: Aunt Bee…Aunt Bee, maybe it would be better if I talked to Mr. Foley and you talked to Ella, huh?

Aunt Bee hands the phone off to Sam, who continues on the phone with the unseen Foley trying to straighten out the grocery order while Bee gossips with Ella. Apparently the man managing the Mayberry A&P is all out of wild raspberry ice cream and is trying to fob off chocolate as a substitute but Aunt Bee will have none of that nonsense, particularly since wild raspberry is Charles’ favorite. What I found particularly disturbing here is not that Foley doesn’t keep wild raspberry in his freezer, but the sudden appearance of this “Ella Fairchild” dame who’s apparently bosom buddies with the Beemeister…where is Clara “Always a bridesmaid…and even then, only if someone’s phoned in sick” Edwards (Hope Summers), Mayberry’s resident snoopy busybody who has been so well established on both R.F.D. and The Andy Griffith Show as being so palsy-walsy with Aunt Bee?


My guess is that Clara is so upset at the news of Bee’s impeding nuptials that she’s become a bitter and frustrated old lesbian who’s now practicing witchcraft and plans to turn Captain Fiance into a newt. Sam asks Foley if Aunt Bee can call him back later, and as Bee continues to chatter away with her replacement friend, he says to himself: “Boy…this being a bride can really get hectic.”

The scene shifts to a copy of The Mayberry Gazette—or whatever they call the scandal rag in that town—and we hear county clerk Howard Sprague remark: “Sure is a big month for engagements…” “Sure is,” responds village idiot Goober Pyle (George Lindsey). “Sherry Reeves, Jan Benson and Aunt Bee…” Howard grabs the paper from Goober as Mayberry’s resident fix-it savant, Emmett Clark (Paul Hartman), fiddles with some wire.

HOWARD: Sherry Reeves…Phi Beta Phi and cheerleader at the University of North Carolina announces her engagement to Ricky Forbes of Mt. Pilot…they plan a June wedding and will live in Raleigh where Ricky will start to work in his father’s firm…hmm…
EMMETT: Real nice little girl…
HOWARD: Oh, yeah…
GOOBER: What’s it say about Aunt Bee?
HOWARD: Uh…Miss Bee Taylor, alumnus of West Virginia normal school…

Oh…I think I’ll let that one go…though it’s awfully tempting…

HOWARD: …announces her engagement to Captain Charles Wolford, soon to retire after forty-six years in the maritime service…
EMMETT: I can’t believe it…Aunt Bee engaged…
GOOBER: Bless her heart…

Buh-less her little heart!

EMMETT: Real whirlwind romance…
HOWARD (after a pause): Say, fellas…you don’t think Aunt Bee kind of rushed into this thing, do you?
EMMETT: I don’t know…I hope she fell for the man and not the uniform…

Well, that’s something you’ll never have to worry about. The door to the shop opens and in walks Sam, just on time to fritter away the afternoon hours hanging around a bunch of cretins instead of doing important things like…oh, I don’t know…farmwork, maybe.

SAM: I just wanted to remind you about the reception—you’re gonna be there, aren’t you?
EMMETT: Oh, sure…wouldn’t miss it…
HOWARD: Yes, sir…we all want to get a good look at the captain…
GOOBER: Kind of size him up…
SAM: What?
EMMETT: Oh, don’t worry, Goob…Sam’s not gonna let Aunt Bee get married without checkin’ up on the guy…
GOOBER (to Sam): What did you find out?
SAM: Look, guys…I don’t know anything more about it than you do…just what Aunt Bee told me…
GOOBER: You mean you’re gonna let some sailor walk in here and marry her without asking any questions?
SAM: Ohhh…
HOWARD: Look, I want to know how come after forty-six years of footloosing around the world he wants to get married?
SAM: Well, I don’t know! Maybe he loves her!
EMMETT: He’s probably got a girl in every port!

I hate to admit this, but Goober has a point. (Might be why he wears the beanie.) How do we know this guy doesn’t already have a family somewhere?

Oh, I’m probably reading too much into this…

HOWARD: The thing that gets me is him wanting to buy a farm and settle down…now that doesn’t sound at all like a sailor…
GOOBER: No, sir! And I’ll tell you one thing—I’m sure gonna keep an eye on him at that reception…
HOWARD: You betcha…somebody has to…

Knowing that you three idiots are banding together to use your moronic powers for good instead of evil…makes me wish I’d put the glass of iced tea down before I saw the above screencap on my monitor.

The night of the reception party, they’ve got Mike the Idiot Boy manning the front door—and I thought it was kind of funny how he refers to “Miss Fairchild” and “Mr. Sprague”…but calls our favorite gas pump jockey “Goober,” suggesting that Mr. Pyle’s childlike personality negates his getting any sort of respect from much younger children. “You’re supposed to go over and meet the groom,” Mike tells Goober and Howard, “then you’re supposed to have some punch.” “Well…after that, let the joy be unrestrained!” minces Howard, to which Mike replies: “I don’t know…Aunt Bee says she hopes it breaks up ten o’clock.”

Ella, because she’s been Aunt Bee’s BFF for—what, four minutes and fifty-five seconds now?—is falling all over Captain Wolford, who remarks for all to hear: “Well, as soon as I saw Bee, I said ‘Lash me to the mast, or I’m lost’…” Um…right.

HOWARD (giving Wolford the once-over): Well, there he is…
GOOBER: Yeah…that uniform’s a little show-off, don’t you think?
HOWARD: Too much…
(Howard and Goober make their way over to where Aunt Bee, Charles, Sam and Millie are standing…)
GOOBER: Hi, Sam…
SAM: Hi, fellas…welcome aboard! (Chuckles)
AUNT BEE: Captain, may I present Mr. Goober Pyle and Mr. Howard Sprague…
GOOBER (shaking Wolford’s hand): Howdy do…
HOWARD (also shaking hands): Captain…you’re getting a great girl here, you know…
GOOBER: We think a lot of our Aunt Bee…
CHARLES: So do I…
HOWARD: We all sure want the best for her…
SAM (trying to relieve the awkwardness): Uh…plenty of punch and cookies, fellas…
GOOBER: Oh, yeah… (Frowning at Wolford) Always figured Aunt Bee’d marry a local boy…

Howard and Goober make their way over to the punch bowl, where Emmett is pouring himself a glass of joy juice and scarfing down shrimp puffs like nobody’s business. (By the way, where the hell is Emmett’s wife Martha [Mary Lansing]—did she not get an invite?)

HOWARD: What do you think of the captain, Emmett?
EMMETT: I’m gonna take a lot of convincin’…
GOOBER: Me, too…little too smooth…
HOWARD: He’s got a good strong handshake…
EMMETT: Yeah…so does a used car salesman…

Is it just me, or does it seem like these three bozos are jealous of this guy? Well, Captain Handshake is coming over for some punch, so let’s listen in…

CHARLES: Ah…how’s it going, fellas?
EMMETT: Oh, fine…fine…
HOWARD (after a pause): Nice day…wasn’t it?
CHARLES: Uh, yes…
EMMETT: Warmer tomorrow…
CHARLES: Mm-hmm…
GOOBER: I guess you’ve sowed your wild oats…

Could I get an official time on that? Yes, Goober went sixteen seconds without saying something stupid—we have a new Mayberry record!

GOOBER: I mean, you bein’ a cruise ship captain and all that…
CHARLES: Well, that’s all behind me now…now that I’m in Bee’s hands, I’m going to be a…married man…
EMMETT: I guess you know that marriage is a sacred institution…lot more to it than just sailin’ around, dancin’ and eatin’ caviar…
CHARLES: I know how you fellas feel about your Aunt Bee, but…she means everything in the world to me…most marvelous thing that ever walked into my life, you’ve got to believe that…
HOWARD (looking contrite): Well…of course we do…
CHARLES: All I want to do is to…take care of her…and I know I can…but it’d be a lot easier if I had her…friends on my side…
EMMETT: Well, we didn’t say we weren’t…
HOWARD: Gosh, no… (Clapping Wolford on the back) Charlie…
GOOBER: You ever been in jail?

Could I get an official time on that? Yes, Goober went thirty-six seconds without saying something stupid—we have yet another new Mayberry record!

Ah, Mayberry. How I love to walk alongside your babbling brooks…your lush green meadows…your orchards swollen with ripe fruit…how I…ferchrissake, would somebody put a Chinese take-out in this burg before I go out of my ever-lovin’ mind!

Sorry about that…just a touch of cabin fever. Anyway, this is Cy Winters’ place—he’s anxious to sell the whole kit and caboodle and move to where all the Starbucks are…and he’s found a right pigeon in Captain AARP and his wife-to-be. (The real estate agent has also been careful to downplay the history of Rancho Winters, particularly that nasty bit of diphtheria they had a summer ago.) Sam, Charles and Aunt Bee emerge from the barn…and yes, I’m going to leave that joke alone, too.

SAM: Well, it’s in good repair, Charles…and the soil’s good—you won’t have any trouble with the crop…
CHARLES: Oh, it’s wonderful…
SAM: You might have to dicker a little about the price, though…old Cyrus squeezes a dollar pretty hard, you know…
CHARLES: No need to worry about that—I’ve haggled with the best of them, from Tangier to Singapore…
SAM: Yeah…I’m going to go down and check that pump…I’ll see you in a minute…

Sam excuses himself with the old "checking-the-pump" story because he’s probably figured out—as have the rest of us—that Captain Barter is going to segueway into a few anecdotes about just what he was negotiating for from Tangier to Singapore…and he’d rather not have those images burned onto his retinas, thank you very much.

CHARLES: It’s what I’ve always dreamed about…but what about you—would you be happy here?
AUNT BEE: Oh, Charles…you know I would…
CHARLES: Forty-six years I’ve wasted at sea…look, Bee—let’s set the date…
AUNT BEE: You mean the wedding?
CHARLES: Why not? What are we waiting for?
AUNT BEE: Oh, my goodness…I have so many things to plan…the invitations…and my trousseau…
CHARLES: What about a week from Sunday?
AUNT BEE: It’s a date!

After all—they’re not getting any younger. So the lucky couple tell Sam that the wedding is on…and he’s so happy he never entertains any thought of contacting this individual…

You see, this was my first clue that somehow things aren’t going to turn out all peachy-keen for Aunt Bee and her salt-spray paramour. I mean, I know we’ve seen signs of strain in the Taylor family on this show in the past—but surely a blood relative like the former sheriff of Mayberry would get an invite to this clambake.

The scene shifts to the living room at Casa del Jones, where Mike the Idiot Boy is watching an old movie (they used to show them on local television stations back then…good times…good times) and he’s filling in Aunt Bee on what she’s missed, including a “neat typhoon.” Two of the characters in the film, a schoolteacher and a seafaring man, are having an intimate conversation that we overhear from the TV set as Aunt Bee watches in rapt fascination:

CAPTAIN (audio): Darling…ask me anything, but…not that…the sea is in my blood, I don’t know anything else…
TEACHER (audio): We’ll build a new life together…
CAPTAIN (audio): No…no, I can’t…I would…wither away…
TEACHER (audio): My dearest…why?
MIKE (shouting at the screen): Because it’s a lot more fun than she is!
AUNT BEE: Mike…shhh…
CAPTAIN (audio): How can I explain? How can I make you understand? It’s a man’s world…the world of Columbus, Magellan, John Paul Jones…my world…it’s the deck under your feet…the salt-spray in your face…oh, we might find a moment’s happiness, but…sometime…someday…the sea would call me back…
MIKE (disgusted): I’m going to bed…
TEACHER (audio): I need you…I’m a woman…
CAPTAIN (audio): So is the sea…a beautiful, passionate, jealous mistress who never frees her men…a sailor can turn his back on her…but never his heart…
(Aunt Bee starts sniffling)
TEACHER (audio): Oh, Todd…
CAPTAIN (audio): I’m sorry, Gretchen…we’re from different worlds…and I must go back to mine…farewell…my love…

One of the peculiarities about television programs is that when characters on them watch TV, they just happen to coincidentally tune into shows or movies whose subject matter mirrors what’s going on in their own lives. There’s no explanation for this—it’s just a way of life. Charles comes downstairs with his jacket and an envelope just as Bee is turning off the television set.

CHARLES: Ah, Bee…I think I’ll go mail this letter down at the crossroads…
AUNT EEE: Oh—well, it’s late…why don’t you do that tomorrow?
CHARLES: Well, I like to take a little stroll…it’s the old salt in me, I guess…at sea, I always took a walk on the bridge before I turned in…eh…you want to come?
AUNT BEE: No…no, you go ahead…
CHARLES: I’ll be right back… (He heads out the door, singing Blow the Man Down to himself)

You know—I think I’ve figured out why relations between Aunt Bee and Clara are so strained in this episode…Captain Wolford’s having an affair with the old biddy! The next morning, Aunt Bee’s in the kitchen—clearly distracted and the dialogue from last night’s late show is reverberating in her head. Sam comes in for breakfast and asks her if a neighbor called about delivering a load of feed but Bee’s lost in the cheese aisle somewhere, paying no attention. (I liked Sam’s dialogue about his busy day: “Well, I’ll pick it up…I have to go into the council office today, anyway…budget meeting…I gotta get a haircut, too…squeeze that in some time.” You know, Sam, you might be able to budget your schedule better if you spent less time hanging out at Emmett’s, where the topic of conversation rarely rises above whether or not Superman could beat up Batman.)

AUNT BEE: Was Columbus married?
SAM: Hmm?
AUNT BEE: Christopher Columbus…
SAM: Uh…I don’t believe I ever heard…why?
AUNT BEE: Just wondered…I doubt it…not when a man has a passionate, jealous mistress…
SAM: Columbus?
AUNT BEE: Hmm? Oh, no…the sea…I can’t imagine why anyone would want salt spray in their face all the time…
SAM: Aunt Bee, what are we talking about?

Your guess is as good as mine, Sam—but I think we’ve been expecting something like this for quite some time now. I’ll distract her with this needlepoint while you get on the horn and make those calls to the places we discussed earlier. Aunt Bee continues to prattle on about seafaring men until she finally explains to Sam that she’s talking about the movie she saw last night. (Seriously, Sam—some of those places aren’t all that bad…this one here has square dancing!)

There’s a edited-for-syndication-mandated swipe to a close-up of a model ship, because Captain Chick Flick is helping Mike the Idiot Boy with assembling the project in the kitchen by pointing out the various parts of the boat…and he pretty much has to, otherwise the little mook will start huffing the Testor’s. Aunt Bee comes in with a bag of groceries and asks Charles if he could work on the ship later because they have to discuss the music they’re going to choose for the wedding. Wolford begs off, telling Bee she knows more about that he does (loosely translated: “That’s women’s work—us manly men must continue until this model is finished…pass the Testor’s, boy…”)…which is her cue to look sad and concerned again.

There is then a dissolve to the Jones’ living room, where Reverend No-Last-Name (William Keene) is helping out with the wedding rehearsal. Aunt Bee asks Charles if one of his fellow captains is attending the nuptials with his wife, prompting Wolford to observe that his colleague isn’t married. When she inquires as to whether there are any captains who are married, he responds: “Some”—which is her cue to continue looking sad and concerned. Howard asks the Rev what all a best man does, which would seem to suggest that he’s been tabbed for that function at the wedding…and which goes to show time and time again that irony can be pretty ironic.

REVEREND: Just a minute…now this is where the music begins…
(Goober starts humming a funeral march, and Emmett playfully socks him in the shoulder)
SAM: Come on, Goob…
REVEREND: Okay, Millie…you start to walk slowly toward me…
(Millie starts to promenade down “the aisle”)
CHARLES: On board my ship, I’d-a have them spliced and on their honeymoon by now…
HOWARD: Hey, that’s right—you’ve probably done some marryin’ yourself, huh?
CHARLES: You’d be surprised how many people I’d get married on board ship…I spliced one couple right in the middle of a storm…
(The Reverend directs Sam and Aunt Bee to follow while Charles is relating his anecdote)
HOWARD: Hey…!
CHARLES: The wind was blowing thirty knots…and we were shipping green water over the bow…the barometer was falling…oh…that reminds me of a storm we had once in the Hebrides…now there was a real test of seamanship…

Aunt Bee then calls the proceedings to a halt, using as the flimsy excuse that she’s lacking several items for her trousseau and that they can’t be obtained in Mayberry (well, when you can’t get wild raspberry ice cream you know it’s pretty much the end of the world as we know it) so she’s going to have to go to Raleigh. But it doesn’t take a fix-it shop owner to figure out what’s going on here…she’s just come to the realization that she’s going to have to hear these excruciatingly boring stores about the sea every friggin’ night for the rest of her life.

AUNT BEE: You see…where are we going to get daisies at this time of the year?
CHARLES: We don’t have to have daisies…
AUNT BEE: Well, if we don’t have daisies I’ll have to change the whole color scheme…and the reception, you know, is just half-planned…we don’t have a long table…who’s going to take the pictures…?
REVEREND: Please, Bee…it is getting late…now, I’ll do the ring service…all right…now, you have the rings…and then I say blah-blah-blah…and then you say “I do” and “I do”…and then I say “I now pronounce man and…”
AUNT BEE: No! No, I can’t do it…
CHARLES: What? Bee…
AUNT BEE: I’m so sorry, Charles, but we’re going to have to postpone the wedding…
SAM: But, Aunt Bee…
AUNT BEE: I know, I know…I’m upsetting everything but I just need a little more time…just a little more time…would you please excuse me?

And with that, she runs out of the room and upstairs…after a pause, Millie agrees to go after her. (I have to hand it to the old girl—she dodged a bullet on that one.) Charles is a bit perplexed by this turn of events but the Reverend assures him that is nothing new—“Happens all the time with these young brides.” Howard, in particular, is concerned about the status of the wedding: “I hope it’s before Monday…I have to take my tuxedo back.”

Later that evening, Aunt Bee and Charles are snogging on the front porch and Wolford asks her when they are going to get married…but Bee keeps begging off with the “I-just-need-a-little-more-time” roundelay. Finally, she comes clean about her trepidations:

AUNT BEE: Well, the other night I saw a movie called The Lure of the Deep…oh, I know it’s not important but…Charles, I’ve been watching you…I still think you’re in love with the sea…
CHARLES: I am through with the sea—I am a landlubber from now on! A bachelor landlubber who wants to get married to a very lovely…mixed-up lady…
AUNT BEE: Oh, Charles, I hope so…but I do want to be sure…
CHARLES: I want you to be sure…

Charles then informs Bee that he’s going back to the ship tomorrow to pick up some of his gear, and he invites her to come along…but she tells him to go on without her, adding that he needs a little time alone. Back on board, Wolford chats up his former first mate Spencer (Bob Kline) and as he walks around the captain’s deck he puts his hands on the ship’s wheel…and the wavy lines that signal a daydream begin…




That’s right. The guy dreamt about ocean waves. That’s it. Congratulations, Captain—you just had the most boring flashback in the history of situation comedies.

Back at Rancho Jones, Captain Wolford is showing off a telescope to Mike the Idiot Boy—one that apparently belonged to Wolford’s father. Mike is starting to develop a wanderlust for the sea despite the fact that he’s only nine years old.

MIKE: How old do you have to be to run away to sea?
CHARLES: Well, I’d think twice before I did that, Mike…

Shut up, you senile old coot—if he wants to run away from home, he should be encouraged to do so, full speed ahead and stow the mizzen mast…

MIKE: Someday I’m going to go to sea…
CHARLES: Why—you’ve got a good home here…good farm…lots of real friends…I’d think twice before I did that, Mike…
MIKE: I could always come back…

…and that’s the reason for our concern. Apparently this wet dream (sorry—I couldn’t resist) that Wolford had while gripping his wheel (sorry—couldn’t resist that one, either) has made him nostalgic for the siren call of the sea: “Once you’ve gone to sea, it’s…something about it gets into your blood…you know, it’s not like walking out of an ordinary job…the sea won’t let go of you that easily…you know, I’ve known some men who’ve spent all their lives at sea…just dreaming of retiring ashore…they think they can settle down, but…something out there just…pulling them back…”

Well, it’s time for this charade to come to an end—it’s obvious that Wolford, despite being a decent enough sort, has a few more barnacles he needs to scrape and that even though he would go through the wedding if Aunt Bee asked him to, she tells him that the sea is his first love…and that she’d always be jealous. “A woman like you shouldn’t have to share a man’s love,” he laments…apparently he’s never been in town when the liquor starts to flow freely at the church rummage sale. So Captain Heartbreaker returns home to Walton’s Mountain…and somewhere in Mayberry, Clara Edwards cackles with delight as she dances naked around a bonfire (seriously—I’ve got to stop writing things like that).

Sam and Millie try to console Aunt Bee but considering their own relationship hasn’t ventured further than holding hands near the donut glazer they’re probably not the ones who should offer counsel. “I had a beautiful interlude in my life and I won’t regret one moment of it,” Bee philosophizes. “Well, I’ve got one thing to say,” adds Millie, “when you have a shipboard romance, you really have one.”

AUNT BEE: Guess I’ll never know whether he has a girl in every port…but I do know he’ll always have one in Mayberry…now, enough of that—life goes on, and I’ll put it out of my mind and forget all about it…

She sits down, and glancing at her watch exclaims: “Oh my goodness…it’s nearly eight bells…”

Coda time!

Sam is putting Mike the Idiot Boy to bed, but his son demands a bedtime story…

SAM: A bedtime story? You’re gettin’ a little old for that, aren’t you?
MIKE: Heck—the captain told me a story every night when he was here!
SAM: He did?
MIKE: Yeah…all about hurricanes and pirates and rescues and mutinies…boy, they were all great!
SAM: Yeah, I’ll bet…well…okay…let’s see now…

“The end of the Civil War was near…when quite accidentally…a hero, who sneezed, abruptly seized retreat and reversed it to victory…”

With the conclusion of this stirring romantic saga, Thrilling Days of Yesteryear’s patented Mayberry R.F.D. Bee-o-meter™ clocks in another appearance from the beloved housekeeper, making a total of eight show-ups (and we’ve sat through sixteen episodes, so that’s fifty percent) for the season. Next week—and it will be on Monday; again, I apologize for the delay—an episode that’s ranked among the Top Ten R.F.D. episodes at TV.com…featuring the beloved town simpleton who cleans your windshield and gives you service with a smile.

*Okay, I felt a slight twinge of guilt in making this reference because apparently after actress Frances Bavier retired, that’s pretty much what she became, adopting the existence of a recluse. Interestingly, she played a “lady with a cat” in her last film/television role in the 1974 movie Benji—which also features fellow rural sitcom performers Edgar Buchanan and Tom Lester.