…conveniently falls out of a window and lands safely
below. (Well, he lands on some sort of sidewalk—I
would think there would at least be one or two broken bones involved. Also, when he takes that header out the
window—it looks like a mighty long drop from a place that’s only supposed to be
two stories.) Hey—henchman Pete (John
Kelly) has been using this “run-for-the-hills” method of self preservation
throughout the serial…why should the hero be any different? Faithful valet Kato (Keye Luke) comes to the
Hornet’s aid, informing his boss that the two of them had better am-scray
uster-bay, because the cops will be there soon.
I just remembered that the title of this week’s installment is “
“This has been a good night’s work, Kato,” the Hornet tells
his valet as the two of them speed away in the Black Beauty. “When the District Attorney receives this
evidence in his morning mail—it will be the end of Mr. Rockford’s bus racket!”
Son of a gun! He sure called that one right. (Well, it helps if your day job is publisher of that same paper, I guess.) And so, having put the crooked
REID: Sounds like you really got
something…
“All I know is that it really
hurts to pee.”
ROBERTS: I have…and it’s big…so big
that I’m going to the District Attorney right after I…
Charles stops short, leaving Britt bewildered—he tells the
operator his call was cut off, and she informs him that there is no longer
anyone on the line. On a hunch, Reid
tells Casey that he’s going over to pay Charles a visit…and arriving at Acme
Transportation, Britt finds Charles’ younger brother, Johnny, in the outer
office. (The actor playing young Roberts
is unfortunately not identified.)
REID: Oh, that’s swell, John…is
Charles in?
JOHNNY: Sure! I’ll give him a buzz…
Johnny grabs the phone receiver, trying to contact his older
brother…but there’s no response.
JOHNNY (putting the phone down): I
guess it’s out of order…
REID: Is there anybody with him?
JOHNNY: No—I’ll take you right in…
Walking over to the office door, Johnny discovers that it’s
locked. He knocks on the door a few
times, calling out Charlie’s name…and then produces a key when Reid asks him if
he has one. Opening the door to the
office, Reid and Johnny find Charles sitting at his desk motionless…and when
Johnny goes over to the desk to investigate…
…his brother slumps to the floor.
JOHNNY: Charlie! He’s dead, Britt!
(Johnny starts towards the floor
where his brother lies dead)
REID: Don’t! Don’t…
JOHNNY: But Britt…he’s dead!
REID: No, you mustn’t touch anything! He’s been shot…gotta call the police…
The authorities are brought in on the case, though I’m not
entirely certain what purpose they’ll serve—if any of those guys are like the
man who’s currently in Reid’s employ as a bodyguard this murder will never get solved. And the uniformed cop (Jim Farley) handling
the affair is apparently going to prove me right:
REID: I can’t believe it…Roberts had just been talking to me on the telephone…he
didn’t sound like a man who was going to commit suicide… (To Johnny) John…did
anybody come to see Charles between the time he called me at 9:30 and the time I arrived here?
(A grief-stricken Johnny shakes his
head “no.”)
CAPTAIN: There you are, Reid…
REID: But I tell ya, there was someone in here! That cigarette was burning when we first
discovered the body…
CAPTAIN: Look, Reid…the man was
found shot…the gun was in his hand…the wound could be self-inflicted…the outer
door is bolted from the inside…add it all up, it equals suicide…unless you can
get some further evidence…the case will have to go as reported…
REID: I’ll get that evidence…
Having completed his splendid police work, Captain Solve ‘Em
Quick is probably headed to Duffy’s to toss back a few with the boys, so Reid
decides to go back over the events to see if something might have been missed…
JOHNNY: No…no, I can’t, Mr. Reid…
REID: Then you didn’t leave your
office at any time?
JOHNNY: No, I didn’t!
REID (thinking): Well, then why
didn’t you hear the shot?
JOHNNY: Oh, I was probably in the
stockroom…
REID: Then you did leave your office!
Jeez, Johnny…too bad about your brother and all that,
but—what part of “Then you didn’t leave your office at any time?” did you not
understand?
JOHNNY: But I was only gone for a
few minutes…
REID: That’ve been long enough…tell
me…do you know what Charles was going to talk to me about over the phone?
JOHNNY: No, I don’t…he was looking
at some insurance reports, which seemed to upset him…and then he told me to
take a bill of laden out to the stockroom…
REID: Do you know what was in those
reports?
JOHNNY: About…truck
breakdowns…delaying shipments…causing insurance rates to be increased…costing a
lot of customers…
REID: Sabotage?
JOHNNY: The insurance investigators
thought so…
Reid asks Johnny if he can see the reports—but the
statements that were on the desk seem to have disappeared. A quick check of the desk drawers reveals no
sign of the documentation.
JOHNNY: That’s funny…they’re gone!
REID: That’s enough for me…Charles was murdered…and the man who did it took those papers…
Heading back to his car, Reid stops to watch a group of Acme
workers in the process of loading up their trucks and other menial duties…with
two of the drivers (Lane Chandler, Wallace Gregory) being approached by noted
attorney Andrew T. Thug (Ralph Dunn)…
ANDY: Hey, Bud…
BILL: Whaddya want?
ANDY: C’mere…how would you like a good job?
“Can’t…I got a pre-existing condition and the premiums would
kill me…”
BILL: I’ve got a good job…listen—why don’t you Tri State
ANDY: You guys are haywire…Tri State
BILL: Well, Acme pays us okay…we’re not interested…
SECOND DRIVER: Speak for yourself, Bill…I think I would be interested…
“Yeah, who appointed you
my shop steward? Where do I sign, Mr.
Thug?”
BILL: Say…you’re gonna run out on
the company, huh? Why, you…
REID: Mike…I want you to get me all
the information you can concerning the recent accidents at the Acme
Transportation Company…
AXFORD: Hah…you mean the Jinx Transportation Company, don’tcha?
REID: Why do you say that?
AXFORD: On account of all the
accidents that’s been happenin’ to all their trucks—don’t you read your own
paper?
“That rag? I wouldn’t
touch it unless I had a tetanus shot…”
REID: Check with all the Acme
competitors…I wanna know who’s getting their canceled contracts…
AXFORD: Yes, sir! (He leaves)
REID: And Jenks…I want you to go
down to our morgue and get all the dope you can on accidents to Acme trucks…
JENKS: Right! Oh, boy—I smell a story!
“No, that’s just Axford…he had corned beef and cabbage for
lunch again.” The muckraking carried out
by Reid, Axford and Jenks soon makes headlines in The Sentinel…and as such, attracts the attention of criminal
kingpin Curtis Monroe (Cy Kendall)—who assembles a few members of his Injustice
League, including Tri State Trucking president D.H. Sligby (Eddie Dunn), to
address the situation.
CHIEF: Sligby, I want contracts…let this small fry alone—get after the big ones…Tim Bryan is the biggest shipper in the valley; I want him signed…get him! I don’t care how you do it!
So Timothy Bryan (Paul Scardon) receives a visit from a representative of
DEAN: Yes, I know…but we not only
can beat their prices…but guarantee delivery and on time!
DEAN: And if you don’t….you might close down…
“Oh, no no no no no no no no no…yes. Yes, it is.”
DEAN: No, not at all…only Acme has
been having lot of mishaps lately…
“Falling anvils…mistimed explosives…”
DEAN: Delays are costly…and in the case of perishables, ruinous…
DEAN: Very well, Mr. Bryan…see you
again…good day…
He’s very polite for a goon—isn’t he? Back at Reid’s office, our hero has been
going over the information that Axford has dug up for him.
AXFORD (chuckling): Why, Britt…at
the Acme Yards, of course…
REID: Well…if what I suspect is
true, the Yards are being watched—and
I don’t want to be seen…
AXFORD: Oh…well…uh…there’s the
Market Coffee Shop…all the trucks goin’ in and out of town stop there…
REID: All right…the Market Coffee
Shop it is… (Axford rises from his chair, but is stopped by Reid) And we better
take one of our delivery trucks…I
want to attract as little attention as possible…
AXFORD: I gotcha…
The scene then shifts to the world famous Market Coffee
Shop, which is where people went to get a quick cuppa Joe before Starbucks
started dotting the landscape everywhere.
As Reid and Axford sit outside with their backs to the entrance, a car
pulls up and out spill the Three Stooges: Pete, Dean and Corey (Gene
Rizzi). “Give me anything that’s cold,
sister,” Dean tells a waitress, who proceeds to show him her shoulder. (No…not really…I make leetle joke.)
Corey spots an Acme delivery truck pulling up near the coffee shop, and motions to Dean with his thumb as to the arrival of the vehicle. Then he signals for Pete to make his way to the truck just as the driver, Charlie (Reed Howes), settles in where Dean and Corey are standing…while Reid and Axford look on.
CHARLIE (to the waitress): Cup of java…hiya fellas…
DEAN: Hi…
COREY: How’s Jinx outfit?
CHARLIE: That ain’t funny, wise guy…
DEAN: How’d you get this far
without breakin’ down? It’s twelve
blocks from the depot…
CHARLIE: That truck’s as good as
any Tri State has, and it ain’t gonna
break down…I checked it all myself…every inch…
PETE: What’s your hurry,
buddy—you’re not goin’ anyplace in that Acme truck…
Charlie has no time to stop and make a witty retort, so
instead he climbs into his cab and continues on his journey. As Reid and Axford continue to monitor the
situation, Pete inelegantly remarks: “Bet he doesn’t make it to the bottom of
the hill…” This earns him a rebuke from
his fellow henchie Dean, who as the three of them leave tells Pete: “Put a
muffler around that big mouth of yours.”
(Get it? Muffler? Truck?
Bueller?)
“They didn’t sound like kidding to me,” Reid tells Axford. “We’d better get out and take a look at that truck.” The two of them climb into a truck that looks a lot like the Waltons used to have and take off in the direction of Charlie. And Pete has been a clever little vandal—the Acme vehicle is taking corners so sharply you can hear the identical squeal of tires on both it and Reid’s truck, which is following. Charlie’s brakes no longer work.
Careening down a steep mountain pass, Reid maneuvers his truck in front of Charlie and slowly brings both of their vehicles to a safe stop. Charlie gets out of the cab to express his thanks.
CHARLIE: Say, that was a swell job of driving, Buddy…
“Oh, you should see me when I’m behind the wheel of the
Black Beauty…I can…I mean…uh…I did okay.”
REID: What happened?
CHARLIE: Felt like I lost my brake
fluid…
REID: It couldn’t have been done deliberately—could it?
CHARLIE: Sure, in two
minutes…say—that Tri State
REID: What do you mean?
CHARLIE: I don’t get this load in
on time; we lose the Bryan
KATO: Good evening, Mr. Britt…
REID: Hello, Kato…get the gun, mask
and car ready…we’re going out tonight…
KATO: Where to?
SLIGBY (to Dean): See this old
bridge?
DEAN: Mm-hmm…
SLIGBY: Well, Acme’s crossing it
tonight with a truckload of Bryan
DEAN: Using the old route to fool
us, eh?
SLIGBY: Yeah…Corey! Get the boys and put that bridge out of
commission…Dean…take Andy and fix that carload of fruit that Bryan
DEAN: Yeah…that will show him that
dealing with Acme is expensive! (He gets
up from the table)
SLIGBY: See you at the bridge,
Corey…
COREY: How come? I thought you were laying low since you
bumped Roberts...
Oooh…kind of a sore subject there, Core…particularly since Sligby jumps up from the table with blood in his eye…
SLIGBY: Lay off that Roberts business!
(sitting back down) No evidence against me…
COREY (chuckling): Not if you
destroyed those insurance papers you took off Roberts’ desk…
SLIGBY: Don’t worry about that…I’ve
got those locked in the safe…get
started, you fellas…
That’s the Hornet’s cue to move away from the door as Andy,
Dean and Corey file out of the office to do their respective naughty
deeds. Back in the office, D.H. has
moved over to the safe and when he sees that the hoods have driven off, the
Hornet brandishes his gas gun and enters the office, giving Sligby a little
surprise.
HORNET: Don’t move, Sligby!
SLIGBY: The Green Hornet!
It ain’t the Blue Beetle, kiddies.
SLIGBY: What do you want?
HORNET: The insurance report you
took from Charles Roberts the night you murdered him!
SLIGBY: I-I-I didn’t kill Roberts!
“He died of…um…old age!
Yeah, that’s the ticket…”
HORNET: I know you did, and I want
those reports! (He clicks the gas gun to indicate he means business)
SLIGBY: I’ll get ‘em…
HORNET: Police headquarters? Captain Rich?
Send a squad car to the Tri State Trucking office…you’ll find Roberts’
murderer there!
The Hornet then takes the time to leave the gendarmes a calling card, and after a quick rifle through the papers in the safe finds the insurance reports he needs. “Where will we go now?” asks Kato. “Down to the freight yard to get Sligby’s partners!” is the Hornet’s reply, and the two men rush off against a montage of their amazing car zipping along country roads. At the freight yard, Dean tells Andy: “Open that car door while I get this fruit destroyer ready…”
Okay, I kind of chuckled at that because I got a mental
picture of this honkin’ big ray gun designed to, I don’t know, accelerate the
ripening process so that the food goes bad twice as fast. Then, of course, you have the Hornet and Kato
making their way to the freight yard when G.H. tells his driver: “This is far
enough, Kato…throw off your lights and silence the motor.” How exactly does he measure when the need for
that buzzing sound ceases? Why turn it
on to begin with?
HORNET: Get away from that lock!
ANDY: The Green Hornet!
HORNET: And keep your hands away
from that gun! I want to ask you a few
questions!
Seeing that his fellow henchie is in trouble, Dean has a
little more gumption than someone like, say, Pete…who would probably have
sprinted into the next county by now. So
when the Hornet asks Andy “Where’s your partner?” Dean is able to retort “Right
behind you!”—allowing Andy to sock G.H. in the jaw. Dean starts to fire at the Hornet, who
manages to slip under the area of the freight car…and the gunshots attract the
attention of a few workers in the yard, who are also brandishing weaponry of
their own. Dean climbs into the back of
the truck as Andy speeds off, and the Hornet runs after the truck in pursuit,
climbing into the back as well.
Fighting in the back with the Hornet, Dean asks Andy for the loan of his gun and then tells his buddy to head for that bridge Corey had been asked to sabotage earlier. Trying to dodge Dean’s firing at him (he even hangs off the back of the truck at one point), the Hornet finally ends up wrestling with the hood for control of his pistol…and yes, you do him hear say “It’s no use—you haven’t a chance!”
At the bridge, Pete has been helping Corey by sawing at the suspension cables…and when the two of them see the truck headed their way, they quickly scamper off and hide. The truck approaches the bridge…Andy bails out of the cab…and the weight of the truck capsizes what’s left of the cables…
3 comments:
Ugh, Kenneth Harlan, he is just the worst kind of person. That desk blotter was probably out-acting him, too.
P.S. BRB laughing forever at "fruit destroyer."
I started watching the serial on TCM on Saturday and I came to a somewhat startling realization. Our hero (played by Gordon Jones) bears a fairly strong resemblance to Jack Carson! And while I've always regarded Doris Day's occasional boy toy as a friendly buddy type, but not a great intellectual powerhouse, his appearance is vaguely wrong. But better than casting Seth Rogen as Britt Reid; far far far far far better.
Our hero (played by Gordon Jones) bears a fairly strong resemblance to Jack Carson! And while I've always regarded Doris Day's occasional boy toy as a friendly buddy type, but not a great intellectual powerhouse, his appearance is vaguely wrong.
Once I get over the remembrance that Jones played "Mike the Cop" on the old Abbott & Costello TV series, I'm fine with him as G.H. My theory is that the actor playing these kinds of roles has his work cut out for him in convincing you he's Britt Reid, and I think Jones does a pretty good job -- I don't ever think about him being convincing as the Hornet because Al Hodge (the Har-nut on radio) is doing all the heavy lifting on that score.
It's the same with Batman -- anybody can be the Caped Crusader, all you do is were a cowl and whisper "I'm Batman." Your job is to convince people you're Bruce Wayne, something Michael Keaton, for example, was never really able to do. I've always considered Val Kilmer to have been the best Batman simply because he was the best Bruce Wayne -- his natural "flakiness" works to his advantage. (Kilmer's Batman film is a terrible film, but that's a post for another day.)
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