Kirby discovers
Benton’s trick and sends Trigger posthaste after Wolf with orders to attack
Benton’s expedition at Funeral Pass.
During the terrific
onslaught, Jim climbs a cliff from which to fire down on the attackers. Wolf spots him, starts after him and…
This is the final chapter in our Serial Saturdays
presentation of Riders of Death Valley
(1941)…and I’m not going to lie to you.
I will not miss it in the slightest.
I will not miss the silly recaps (“Terrific onslaught?” Bitch, please…) nor the endless choruses of Milton
Rosen and Everett Carter’s Ride Along
that open each installment. (And don’t
even get me started on Fingal’s Cave.) As for this week’s title, “The Harvest of
Hate,” your guess is as good as mine as to what the hell it means. (I first thought it was Edward R. Murrow’s
legendary CBS documentary, but that’s The Harvest of Shame.)
Anyhoo, as you might have already guessed…Jim Benton (Dick Foran) and Wolf Reade (Charles Bickford) do not die a hero’s/villain’s death tumbling off that cliff in Chapter 14…there’s a body of water underneath, and Jim soon makes his soggy way to dry ground with a fierce sidestroke. But henchman Trigger (Jack Rockwell), despite not actually having fired a shot (they lead you to believe he did, but they are liars), makes his way back to where second-in-command Butch (Lon Chaney, Jr.) and the rest of the “pack” are stationed as they continue to waste ammo shooting at Jim’s Riders.
BUTCH (with undisguised glee):
Good!
TRIGGER: It ain’t good…Benton got the
Wolf!
“You mean…they got each
other?” And an inconsolable Butch
starts to weep.
BUTCH: Hey, waitaminnit…whaddya
talkin’ about?
TRIGGER: They were fightin’ on the
cliff! Benton fell off and dragged the
Wolf with him! Musta killed the both of
‘em…
BUTCH: Well, we gotta see about that…
Oh, yeah…Butch is going to make one heck of a
replacement. He calls over to Dirk (Roy
Barcroft), and I can’t say this forcefully enough—it is an indignity that The
Baddest Villain in All of Serialdom is having to play a low-level flunky in
this…but I guess you have to start somewhere.
DIRK: Yeah?
BUTCH: We’re pullin’ out…Trigger
and me’ll meet you at Daggett’s…
DIRK: Why? What’s the matter with Wolf?
BUTCH: Well…Trigger says he’s dead…I’m gonna find out…you guys
hightail it to the hideout, we’ll meet ya there…
So with Butch making the decision of another “tactical
retreat,” a bewildered Pancho (Leo Carrillo) and Borax Bill (Guinn “Big Boy”
Williams) begin another of their riveting philosophical discussions.
PANCHO: I guess the fight is over
for sure…they all run away…
BORAX: Why don’tcha stick your head
up and find out?
PANCHO: Why don’t you take your own head up? My hat’s a good hat!
BORAX: One more hole and mine’d
fall apart—what’s the difference?
The two men continue to argue about who will “stick their
head up” until they find themselves standing and…
…both of their hats “have went,” as Pancho so colorfully puts it. Meanwhile, Jim emerges from the river, his clothes a tad damp. The scene then shifts back to where Mary (Jean Brooks) and Tombstone (Buck Jones) have taken cover under the wagon, along with Ghost Smokey (Noah Beery, Jr.)…
TOMBSTONE: He just went up on the
hill to pull the Wolf’s fangs…and
from the looks of things, he’s doin’ all right!
MARY: Well, I’m worried about him…
TOMBSTONE: You’re worried? Jim told me just before he left here if I
ever get back to here alive…
MARY (interrupting): Now, look
Tombstone…this is no time for quibbling!
SMOKEY (to Tombstone): Hey, what’s
quibbling?
Sweet baby carrots, Smokey’s alive! But this chapter play
miracle doesn’t upset Tombstone in the slightest, since he responds with a
comical “Quibbling? I don’t know…” (Well, I suppose after the attempt by the
Serial Gods to smote him with a lightning bolt nothing fazes this guy now.)
Butch and Trigger ride down to the river, and Trigger
guesstimates at the spot where he saw Wolf tumble. A quick scene shift finds the moist Jim
rejoining the wagons.
MARY: Well, Jim—where in the world
have you been?
TOMBSTONE: Looks like you sneaked
off to take a bath with your clothes on…
BORAX: You get the Wolf?
JIM: You don’t have to worry about
him…but his gang may come back…we better get out of here…
BORAX: Can’t move that last
wagon…the axle’s busted…
JIM: All right, leave it here…we’ll
send out a new one from town…
In a serial where a man previously thought dead for several
chapters has returned from the dead, the audience should therefore not be
surprised that rumors of the Wolf’s demise have been greatly exaggerated as
well. (It’s just like TV’s Resurrection!) A slightly damp Reade staggers out of the
creek to the amazement of his boyfriend Butch.
WOLF: Not yet…
“You have to get up pretty early in the morning to send Wolf
Reade to Hell!”
BUTCH: What happened to Benton?
WOLF (still choking on water): He
got away… (Pause) I don’t hear any shootin’…
BUTCH: Aw…there were too many of
‘em…we had to quit…
Oooh, you big fibber.
Butch tells Wolf that he instructed the gang to meet them back at the
hideout, so let’s see how things are going with Jim and his Merry Men:
TOMBSTONE: Gettin’ back to the
Wolf…you can’t make me believe he
cashed in his chips without me seein’
it…
JIM: Oh…you won’t take my word for
it, huh?
TOMBSTONE: Nope…I got a hunch…
Well, throw a shawl over it and no one will notice. (Rimshot!)
JIM: Well, I’ll give you ten to one
your hunch is wrong…
TOMBSTONE: I’ll just take forty bucks of that!
JIM: It’s a bet!
And so the troupe heads back to Panamint. The scene shifts to the Wolf’s hideout, and
we find his Lupineness comically lying on his back in some sort of bunk,
staring off into space. Here is where
our serial is going to take an unfortunate turn.
WOLF: Well, tell it…
BUTCH: I think you’re gettin’ a
double-cross…
WOLF: Why?
BUTCH: It’s about Kirby… (Wolf sits up suddenly and faces
Butch) Trigger heard Kirby tell Davis that they’re cuttin’ you out…looks like your fifty-fifty deal is
off…
WOLF: That right, Trigger?
TRIGGER: Every word of it…
WOLF: Good work, Butch…I won’t forget this…
“So that’s the way Kirby wants it, is it?” Wolf asks
rhetorically. “That’s the way he’ll get
it,” he answers himself…also rhetorically.
Except…well, here’s the problem: I don’t recall where in this serial that
chief administrative villains Joseph Kirby (James Blaine) and Rance Davis
(Monte Blue) called a meeting to discuss screwing over Wolf and the Wolfettes
in the manner described by Trigger. Now I’ll
admit—my memory is not what it once was (granted, I was kind of away from the
serial for a while…plus I’m too lazy to go back and see if I did write about
this and just forgot) but I’m going to have to go with my gut on this one:
writers Sherman L. Lowe, George H. Plympton, Basil Dickey and Jack O'Donnell
got to the last chapter and said amongst themselves “Hell, let’s wrap this up
and start working on the next one. It’s
kids, ferchrissake—storyboards and meticulous plot planning are for fops and popinjays!”
Wolf calls in the rest of the gang: Dirk, Rusty (Ethan
Laidlaw) and Pete Gump (Dick Alexander).
PETE: Whaddya mean, Wolf?
WOLF: I’m declarin’ Kirby and Davis
out…
RUSTY: Whaddya aimin’ to do?
WOLF: I’ll tell ya in a minute…now
anybody who don’t wanna follow my lead, he’s welcome to cut out right now…
One of these days, there’ll be a movie where the entire gang
walks right out the door. I’m that
optimistic.
DIRK: Well, I’d like to know what
stakes we’re playin’ for…
WOLF: All right—the stakes are high and the payoff for you men will be plenty!
BUTCH: That’s good enough for me!
Oh, Butch…you are a kiss-up among kiss-ups.
WOLF: All right…now here’s the
play…we’ll let Benton get that ore into Panamint…
BUTCH (banging his fist on the
table): Yeah, but we gotta hurry!
WOLF: I’m doing the talkin’…
You should think about changing your name, Butch.
WOLF: When he gets to the smelter,
we take it over…smelter and all!
BUTCH: Yeah…but how about that
money that Davis has got in the bank?
WOLF: We’re takin’ over the bank,
too! And anything else in town that’s
worth takin’ over!
I don’t know about you…but if he can make the stages run on
time, he’s got my vote. Butch is
dispatched to Salt Creek, where he’s to get as many men as “Slate” can round
up. Dirk will go to Bad Water Wells, and
the rest will meet at Pyramid Rock, with Rusty in charge of looking over the
horses. So with the
“no-honor-among-thieves” conclusion set in motion, we shift scenes to the
Panamint Smelter, where Jim, Mary and Tombstone come a-ridin’ into
view…followed by Pancho, Borax Bill, Tex (Glenn Strange), Smokey, Annette,
Darlene, Karen and Cubby. Jim lets
Tombstone know that he and Mary will be out in a minute—they’re going inside to
square things with Mr. Wilson (Alonzo Price).
JIM: You betcha…three loads of
high-grade right outside the door and the fourth will be in as soon as we get
an axle…
WILSON: The assayer’s report will
be ready in about an hour…
“Along with your dry cleaning, Mr. Benton. We now have Martinizing!” Jim tells Wilson to send the report over to
the bank…and now it’s time for more prime comedy from Pancho and Borax Bill.
PANCHO: Now that the Wolf is finished…everything is chili con carne, eh? Now we’re going to celebration…
BORAX: How ya gonna celebrate?
PANCHO: Well…I’m gonna buy myself a
nice new sombrero…some new clothes…then I will be a very pretty fellow…you know, it’s too bad you can’t be a pretty
fellow, too, you know?
BORAX: Well, if I wanted to doll
myself up in all them fancy duds, I’d make you look like a plug peso…
PANCHO: Hmm…who you toling me…all
the clothes in the world they can’t make you a pretty fellow…with those face…
BORAX: Well, the only way I can
celebrate is to get drunk…
PANCHO: That’s right…you don’t have
to have a pretty face to get drunk…
BORAX: Mm-hmm…huh? Ah, you chili
picker…
How Universal missed the opportunity to make a series of
buddy films with these two wacky characters is a mystery for the ages. As Borax and Pancho stroll out of the bank, a
man named Richards (Jerome Harte) passes them on the way to the office of Judge
Knox (James Guilfoyle). They exchange
pleasantries, and Richards hands His Dishonor the assayer’s report…
KNOX: Are you bringing good news?
RICHARDS: So good I’d like to have
a hunk of that ore myself, Judge!
“So everybody reach!”
No, I’m just kidding—Richards is an honest man. Knox, on the other hand, remarks “I don’t
blame you” because he’s looked at the report…and now realizes he’s got two new
rich residents to suck up to come election time.
JIM: Well…are you sure you have
enough cash?
KNOX: More than enough! It’s
coming in from Berdoo…enough to pay Kirby and finance the operation of the
mine…
“Not to mention a Senatorial campaign for yours…er…well, for
anyone with aspirations to hold higher office…heh heh heh…” Jim goes with Richards back to the smelter,
and Mary agrees to wait for him in the judge’s office. Meanwhile, at The Zero Tolerance Saloon, our
old pal Rance Davis makes his usual stroll through the establishment and into
Boss Kirby’s chambers. Trigger happens
to be seated at one of the tables, and when Davis enters Kirby’s sanctum sanctorum,
he listens in at the door. This is kind
of what I meant earlier when I stated I didn’t recall any similar shenanigans previously…but
strict adherence to the rules of the plot is just liberal media bias.
KIRBY: Do you think the bank has enough money to advance Benton on that ore to pay off my note?
DAVIS: Not if I draw out what I’ve got in there…
KIRBY: I’ll do the same…we can keep
it right here in my safe…
DAVIS: Which will give us a chance
to close in on Benton…
Trigger exits the bar, clearly because he’s got to convey
this information to Wolf. The scene
shifts back to the bank, where we find courtly Judge Knox accompanying Mary to
his office. (Hey, he’s serious about
that Senate race.) He’s stopped by
Kirby, and Mary tells Knox she’ll wait for him in his office because the mere
sight of Kirby gives her an oopsy-tummy.
KNOX: If you want to see me about
Benton’s note…don’t worry, Kirby—you’ll get your money in plenty of time…
KIRBY: Well, it isn’t only the
money, Judge…I’m drawing out all my
cash…
KNOX: I’ll take care of that…and all the money any of your close friends
have in the bank…
I doubt Kirby has that
many close friends. Knox explains to
Kirby that the transactions will get underway “just as soon as the stage gets
in from Berdoo.” What a dinkerplatz.
TRIGGER: Kirby and Davis are takin’
all their money out of the bank and puttin’ it in Kirby’s safe…
DIRK: I got six men from Bad Water Wells—they’ll meet us in town…
WOLF: Good…now we’re moving in…Rusty—you’ll take over the
bank…
RUSTY: Right!
WOLF: Butch and I will have a
little talk with Kirby…then we’ll all take over the smelter…come on…
Let’s went! The
familiar Panamint montage follows, with our last look at the pipe-smoking guy
and the Panamint Federal Savings and Trust sign (Lafe Hogan’s name is still on
the bank—how sweet). Inside the judge’s
office, Knox asks Mary how it feels to have all the monies…and instead of
something altruistic like promising to reform Panamint and making life better
for all its citizens she burbles: “It feels like a lot of new hats…and a lot of
new silk dresses…” Congrats, Mary! You are now a shallow member-in-good-standing
of the one percent. Wolf and his gang
ride into town, and Wolf sends Rusty in the direction of the bank to start his
takeover of Panamint. One of the bank’s
cashiers lets the judge know “The Wolf is alive!” (“It’s the Wolf! It’s the Wolf!”)
JUDGE: What are you saying?
CASHIER: The Wolf—he’s outside!!!
JUDGE: Mary! Jim’s got to overtake that stagecoach before
it reaches town!
Mary then does an unintentionally funny bit of business where she looks from side to side, then tells Knox “Don’t worry!” And she’s out the back window faster than you can say
Mary has hauled horse’s ass to the smelter. “Tombstone,” she says, slightly out of
breath. “The Wolf and his gang are at
the bank, robbing it!”
TOMBSTONE: The Wolf?
MARY: Yes! And you’ve got to stop that Berdoo stage before it gets to town, Tomb! There’s $100,000 on it!
Well, raise my rent!
Tombstone mounts his trusty steed Silver…and no, I’m not going to make
the joke you think I’m going to make.
Back at Kirby’s saloon…
WOLF (growling): Open that safe…
KIRBY: What’re you doing this for,
Wolf? I thought we were partners!
WOLF: I thought we were…come on…
(Kirby turns his chair toward the
safe but he’s stopped by Davis)
DAVIS: Don’t you do it, Kirby! He’s bluffing!
WOLF: I am, huh?
DAVIS: Yes, you are!
Davis reaches for his gun but is outdrawn by Wolf, who fells
Davis with one shot. (“Your mother was bluffing!”) Kirby, seeing that his pal Davis is now a few
ounces heavier thanks to the bullet he’s carrying, continues to open the safe
and pull out the money contained within.
“Everything, out on the desk!” barks Wolf.
WOLF: What was it you were going to
let me in on?
KIRBY: Put down the gun, Wolf…
WOLF: Sure… (He holsters his gun)
Let’s have it…
KIRBY: The stage…from Berdoo…it’s
bringing $100,000 to the bank…Graham the messenger’s in charge…
WOLF: How do you know that?
KIRBY: Judge Knox told me!
WOLF: That’s fine…
Tombstone meets up with Jim and the rest of the Riders, and
clues them in that not only is Mr. Wolfenstein Reade II alive and well, he’s
planning to hit that Berdoo stage and make himself a tidy profit. Jim orders Smokey to take the remaining ore
wagon into town…again, not at all questioning his faith as to how Smokey rose
like Lazarus.
We then return to Panamint.
Dirk rides up to Wolf on his horse and informs him that the stage is on
its way to town. Wolf tells him: “Get
ahold of Butch and tell him to plant the men like I told him.” Even though Dirk arranged to bring in
recruits from Bad Water Wells, by the time the Big Showdown gets underway in
this finale it would appear that Wolf still only has just five guys to back him
up.
Oh, I thought this was humorous: some random guy walking the Panamint streets comes into Wolf’s view and he practically bites the guy’s head off. “Get off the street!” he sneers. (You know, Wolfie—there are some decaffeinated brands that are just as tasty as the real stuff.)
Wolf saddles up and makes a beeline for the hills with Jim
in pursuit. At the same time, the
members of Wolf’s pack—Pete, Rusty, Trigger—all die cowards’ deaths…only Dirk
appears to get away unscathed. (Go, Team
Barcroft!) There is then footage of a
spirited chase, with Jim closing in on The Wolf. He tackles the Wolf from his horse, and there
is a few minutes of scuffling. Wolf is
about to shoot Jim when Tombstone dispatches him with his rifle. So long, Wolf Reade…requiescat in pace. (You
know…they could really use a sheriff in that town.)
PANCHO: Well! That finishes Mr. Wolf! I knew I would get that coyote someday!
BORAX: Whaddya mean, you got him?
PANCHO: I suppose you think you did the whole thing, huh?
BORAX: I did as much as you did,
and I didn’t do nothin’…
PANCHO: Why you always want to tell
lies for?
BORAX: Well, I could have got him a
long time ago…
Now he tells us.
BORAX: …but I thought I’d let you
shoot him, Pancho…
PANCHO: That’s big! ‘Cause I only want to do the right thing…you
know…with me, it’s always fifty-sixty…
BORAX: Yeah? Tombstone crossed us both and got him
himself…
PANCHO: You know? You ain’t such a bad fellow after all…I’ve
seen worse…
BORAX: Yeah? Where?
PANCHO: I don’t know…anyhow, let’s
bury the hammer, huh?
And this gay badinage continues right through the lame wrap-up, where we find Jim, Mary and the rest at the Lost Aztec pulling out all that rich ore when Pancho and Borax ride up, sporting new duds that they obtained from Cowboy’s Wearhouse. The two men are slyly backed up to the mine shaft elevator, and sent to the bottom on Tombstone and Jim’s signal. (Oh, if only this could have happened in Chapter 1.)
Well, since a good cast is worth repeating…
Next week on Serial Saturdays: Government Agents vs. Phantom Legion—be sure to join us!
1 comment:
I have fallen way, way behind on this (you're on chapter 3 of the next serial, that's how bad I am at this "blog reading" thing) but I wanted to catch up on this scintillating tale before moving on to the next one. But I'm not gonna lie, Smokey just showing up not dead gave me such a case of the eyerolls that now I need an Excedrin.
Davis reaches for his gun but is outdrawn by Wolf, who fells Davis with one shot.
Nooooooooooo it's too undignified!
Now that the Wolf is finished…everything is chili con carne, eh?
Yeah, I'm not gonna miss that.
You're a stronger man than I, Ivan Godzilla Shreve, Jr. I do not know how you handled this one... but I'm glad you did! Can't wait to dig into the next series!
Post a Comment