Last week on Serial Saturdays, I thought for a moment that this would be the shortest serial on record…only because novelist/criminology student Steve Colt (Bruce Edwards) seemed headed straight for a Sunoco station, where upon making contact he would be blown to smithereenies. However, I was unaware that Steve had taken classes at the Hal Duncan School of Automobile Leaping:
JOYCE: Wanna lift, mister?
STEVE (getting into the car): Get
over!
JOYCE: I’ll drive!
STEVE: Don’t argue…
He’s such an enlightened individual, is he not? (“I will not
be driven by someone with ovaries!”) As Steve and Joyce speed off, the individual
who caused Colt’s near collision with the Union 76 gets on his car phone to
contact his boss—Slade (Ted Mapes)!
SLADE: Another car just picked up Colt…you’re still being followed!
SOMBRA (to Ward): Change the color of the car…
I have to admit—this is kinda nifty. Ward flicks a few switches and a gas emerges from the radiator that makes the automobile look like it just got out of Earl Scheib. What further amused me about this is that Ward takes off his fedora and puts on another hat (while Sombra ducks down in the back seat), then turns the car around in the opposite direction and drives past Steve and Joyce, unaware of the deception. (I mean, sure—it’s a different color…but you would think he’d notice the same make.)
 |
| "Should I tell Steve the baby is his?" |
SOMBRA: Well?
JAFFA: You were wise, Madame, in not
permitting Ward to open the tube…the Spectroscope shows that it contains
phosphero—a highly inflammable gas…
Oh, I think you made that “phosphero” sh*t up.
SOMBRA: Jaffa, you shall find means
to open the tube without hurting the formula…
JAFFA: Weston…obviously has a
neutralizing agent of some sort to get the formula out of the tube when needed…
Obviously!
JAFFA: …I could figure out what it
is but it will take time…perhaps
money…
There’s always one
guy on the payroll who’s determined to pad his expense account. At the mention of “money,” a gong is
heard…and you know what that means. “My
father, Hitomu—go quickly!” Sombra orders Ward and Jaffa, and then she works
her magic on the transporter device…
Sim sim salabim!
(Talk about burning oil…)
SOMBRA: What is your will, Father?
HITOMU: I’ve heard Jaffa’s report
on the formula…
I don’t see how that was possible, unless you were flying in
a holding pattern above the hideout…
SOMBRA: Your orders, Sire?
HITOMU: Resume your impersonation
of Ruth Dayton…then use the vocatrobe…force
Weston to reveal the name of the gas which is needed to open the tube safely…
“Oh, and get me a pastrami on rye—fatty, not too lean…” Sombra bows in reverence to her pop
(“Brother” Theodore Gottlieb), and waving his hand over his private parts, he
disappears in a cloud of smoke.
Telling Ward to stand by and instructing Jaffa to “prepare
the vocatrobe,” Sombra goes into her dressing room and starts her mask-and-wig
transformation to become…
…ta-dahh!! Ruth Dayton (Ramsay Ames)! Apparently the continuity person hadn’t returned from lunch yet because before Sombra grabs her accoutrements she’s wearing that sexy outfit of hers and as she primps her Ruth disguise she’s miraculously wearing Ms. Dayton’s clothing. (I would have thought that would be something she would do once the Ruth-disguise was in place.) She also puts what appears to be a wig with her hairstyle on a dummy's head—does this mean Sombra’s bald as a Crenshaw melon?
JAFFA: Just a moment, Madame…one
final adjustment… (After a pause) The vocatrobe… (He hands it to her)
SOMBRA (putting it in Ruth’s
purse): Both of you stay by the receiving set…and as soon as Weston begins to
talk…
Well, I guess we won’t learn the rest of Sombra’s
deliciously wicked scheme because we fade into Weston’s laboratory, where he’s
having a chinwag with Steve and Joycie.
Wow, Steve. Clearly
those criminology courses you took at Wossamatta U. have paid off handsomely.
WESTON: I can’t believe that she
would suddenly turn criminal…
“Unless it’s because I eliminated her healthcare package,
including dental…”
STEVE: But she did take the formula…
WESTON: I know…but I’m sure she’s not responsible for what she
did…she must have been hypnotized…
I never noticed this before—but the actor playing Weston,
Sam Flint, looks like he could be Allan Melvin’s father.
STEVE: It’s a scientific fact,
Weston, that a person can’t be forced to commit a crime while hypnotized that
he wouldn’t be willing to do without
being hypnotized…
“Are you lecturing me on science, Mr. Colt? Show of hands—which of us in here has
invented a secret formula for a new atomic rocket engine?” A uniformed cop (Charles Sullivan) enters the
laboratory with Sombra-as-Ruth in tow, and he helps her to the chair that Steve
has gentlemanly vacated.
WESTON: Why, Ruth…what’s happened?
COP: I found her wanderin’ around
in the park—she insisted on coming here…said she worked for you…
WESTON: She does…we’ll take care of
her…thank you, officer…
(The cop exits after saluting
Weston)
STEVE: Can you tell us what
happened, Miss Dayton?
SOMBRA: Well…when I left last
night…two men forced me into an automobile…one of them held me, and…the other
pressed a hypodermic into my arm…
“And for the next twelve hours, I was fried like nobody’s
business.”
SOMBRA: …that’s all I remember…
JOYCE: You have no recollection of
coming back here and robbing Mr. Weston’s safe of the rocket fuel formula?
SOMBRA: Robbing? No…I…I don’t remember anything!
STEVE: You were right, Weston—I’m
convinced now that she’s been a victim of the gang…it was some sort of a
drug…tell me, Miss Dayton…can you give us a description of the men who captured
you?
SOMBRA: Well, I…I…
Sombra-as-Ruth then falls forward as if she’s fainted…but in actuality, she’s placed the “vocatrobe” under Weston’s desk! Steve orders Joyce to get some water, because that’s apparently all she’s good for.
SOMBRA: But I’m way behind on my work, Mr. Weston…I…
STEVE: Nonsense—Mr. Weston’s
right…you need a rest…I’ll take you
home in my car…
SOMBRA: No…just…just get me a taxi…
Steve and Joyce help Sombra-as-Ruth up from her chair and
out the door as Weston gets back to work.
Jaffa, who’s been eavesdropping on their conversation back at Sombra’s
all this time, presses a button and the “vocatrobe” releases a gas that
apparently has the power to hypmotize Weston!
JAFFA: Do you hear me, Mr. Weston?
WESTON (in a trance): I hear you…
JAFFA: You must answer every
question truthfully…do you understand, Mr. Weston?
“Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper…I am not afraid…”
WESTON: I understand…
JAFFA: Tell me the name of the
chemical used to neutralize the phosphero in the quartz tube…
WESTON: Cyprocilium acid…
I think he made that up, too—whose was the scientific consultant on this, Professor Otto Yerass? Jaffa asks Weston where this fictional acid can be obtained and the professor replies “The Cornwall Chemical Company”—just as Steve and Joyce are returning to the lab. “That is all, Mr. Weston,” returns Jaffa as the “vocatrope” starts to spark and smoke just like the old Mission: Impossible tape recorder. Steve picks up the device and then drops it on the desk, as if it were hot enough to burn his fingers.
STEVE: What happened, Weston?
WESTON (struggling): I don’t know…
JOYCE: He looks like he’s been drugged!
STEVE: Or gassed…this device is similar to a midget sending-receiving set
developed by the Nazis during the last war…
With technology like that—how did the Germans manage to lose the war?
STEVE: …I was right in the first
place—Ruth Dayton is working for The Black Widow gang, and she planted this
while she was pretending to…
Steve’s untrue statement trails off as a thought occurs to
him. He asks Weston what he meant by
“The Cornwall Chemical Company,” and the professor informs him that’s the jernt
“with the only supply of cyprocilium acid in town!”
And so Steve is off to Cornwall while Joyce stays behind, since she has ironing and folding to do. Ward and an unidentified lackey are snowing an employee at the chemical company that they’re from Weston’s office and they sure do need some of that cyprocilium stuff, you betcha. The chemical employee admonishes Ward to stub out his cigarette because they have signs saying “No Fumer”…and Ward stashes his butt in an ashtray on a table. (If they’re not supposed to smoke in there, why are there ashtrays?)
LACKEY (looking at Ward):
Yeah…sure…I got it…
The goon reaches into his pocket and pulls out a piece of
paper…then carelessly drops it on the floor.
As the chemical company drone leans over to pick it up, Goon rabbit
punches the guy into unconsciousness.
WARD: Where’d you learn that trick?
GOON: Read it in one of Steve
Colt’s detective yarns…
WARD: Heh…I’ll have to read some of
them myself…
“Once I learn how, that is.”
Well, let’s refuse seconds on this delicious irony because just as the
two men are headed out the door they’re greeted by the author of the
rabbit-punch gag…and the real donnybrook begins!
I have to admit—this is one of the more livelier fights I’ve
watched in a Republic serial; I like how directors Spencer Bennet and Fred C.
Brannon (I’m guessing this was Bennet’s idea, since my experience with
Brannon’s output is that he was little more than a traffic cop) move the camera
around a bit during the fight rather than just shoot stationery shots of the
stuntmen going to town. I also liked
this bit:
Ward picks up an identified canister during the brawl and heaves it at Steve, and it lands in a vat that we’ll presume is a big ol’ batch of cyprocilium acid. As the melee continues, Ward and Colt eventually wind up duking it out on a catwalk above the vat, with Ward knocking Steve off and…
3 comments:
Hello again (after computer difficulties imposed an unwanted hiatus ...):
A few years back, one of our local PBS outlets had a late Friday night show called Summer Camp, which consisted of a bad old B movie followed by a serial episode.
Black Widow was one of the serials they used. With so many familiar faces in the cast, I was riveted to the screen - but Hitomu threw me at first, at least until I saw a cast list.
I first saw Brother Theodore back in the mid-'60s on Merv Griffin's New York talk show - "From the Little Theatre off Times Square!", as Arthur Treacher announced it each night.
In those days, Merv would accumulate the guests on his couch, generally hoping that different types of people would strike sparks of some sort. Brother Theodore would usually come on toward the end of the 90 minutes; if he didn't have a prepared piece, he would devote his 10 minutes to roundly denouncing everyone else on the couch, often to catcalls from the audience. I think the Brother held the show record for walking off angrily at the end of his bit, threatening loudly to never come back (but he always did).
I always thought that Theodore was "exclusive" to the Griffin show, until I saw him on Dick Cavett one night. I remember that the Brother stood center stage, delivering one of his more grotesque monologs, finishing with a withering glare at the audience - whereupon Bob Rosengarden's band launched into the old Warner Bros Merrie Melodies theme. Brought the house down ... (I wish I had a tape of this, but the tech didn't exist in 1970).
So now I have to go to my catalogs and score a DVD of this Kinema Klassik, that I may better follow along as we go.
Back with more as needed ...
“I will not be driven by someone with ovaries!”
Science has proven that ovaries and combustion engines don't mix.
That wig business doesn't make a lick of sense, but these serials always include something like that in there to help the kiddies along. Of course, it makes everyone over the age of 12 scratch their heads...
So it's February and I'm revisiting the older serial posts to get myself in the mood for the ones I need to catch up on, and am reminded once again how freakin' funny the Hal Duncan School of Automobile Leaping screengrab is, followed by the Unnecessary Explosion of Moderate Excitement screengrab.
These serials are a hoot.
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