OUR STORY SO FAR: If you’re wondering why I have a smile on my
face and seem to be in rather upbeat spirits…it’s because this week’s
installment of Jungle Queen (1945) is the serial’s penultimate chapter—after
next week, we will be done with this silliness once and for all. It seems like it was only three years ago
when I first undertook this assignment…mainly because it was nearly that (the
first Queen post was in July of 2009) and while I’ve stated previously that I regret waiting so long between
the first chapter write-up and the subsequent ones, after watching it weekly I
don’t think my decision was so terrible in retrospect (mainly because the
serial itself is terrible).
An opening title card warns us that the clock is ticking
before the Second World War gets underway…but instead of companies purchasing television
commercials at astronomical rates, we are instead whisked to Old Blighty to the
headquarters of “Mr. X” (Lumsden Hare), who in theory is supposed to be the man
in charge of thwarting the Germans from starting the conflagration, but seems
in this serial to function more as a Greek chorus on the action. In his office are his loyal undersecretary
(George Leigh) and another extra that shall go unnamed, simply because he has
no lines of dialogue.
MR. X (on the phone): So that’s the
latest…quite…quite…thanks, old chap… (He hangs up the receiver) Henderson reports from Berlin that Germany will attack Poland at any moment…
UNDERSECRETARY: Not unexpected,
what?
You gotta love the British.
They’re so bloody unflappable.
UNDERSECRETARY: But at least this
office has its affairs in order…
MR. X: But not in Tambosa…let Chatterton know the worst at
once…
Yes, this is really what war boils down to, friends and neighbors. Making sure the paperwork is complete. So the scene shifts to Tambosa, which
headquarters the office of the Royal Commissioner and Replacer of Copier Toner,
Braham Chatterton (Lester Matthews), who has his own assistant in a man simply
known as Rogers (and played by character great Cyril Delevanti, who I caught in
a Twilight
Zone repeat just this past week).
CHATTERTON: Of all the
commissioners under Mr. X’s supervision…I’m the only one who isn’t ready…everybody I need has disappeared:
Bork…Bob…Chuck…Pam…Jungle Jack…Godac…
“Darlene!
Annette! Karen! Cubby!”
Well, now that the Mouseketeer roll call is finished—let’s pick up from
where we were last week. Bob Elliot
(Edward Norris) and Chuck Kelly (Eddie Quillan) hit upon the brilliant scheme
to follow telephone wires across jungle and swamps to track down the Nazis’
hideout, believing them to be just as thick as the ones running the POW camp on
Hogan’s
Heroes. But thanks to the quick
thinking of faux Swedish botanist Dr. Elise Bork (Tala Birell), who’s sort of
running the show in the African middle jungle, a pair of Nazi goons named
Heinkel (Peter Helmers) and Muller (George Eldredge) have re-directed those
wires to a small cave where our two idiot heroes follow and enter and…
…the villains blow them up real good. (This may turn out to be the best Jungle Queen chapter of them all!) After inspecting their handiwork (they disappointingly don’t high-five one another—I guess that sort of thing only happens in The Producers), Muller and Heinkel scamper off back to headquarters, and the scene shifts to the cell where annoying Pamela Courtney (Lois Collier), intrepid safari explorer Jungle Jack (Budd Buster) and ineffectual native chieftain Kyba (Clarence Muse) are being held prisoner. To make matters worse, Dr. Bork is giving them a lecture on German superiority.
BORK: …and now do you understand, Miss Courtney? Why Africa rightfully belongs to
Germany ? And how she intends
to get it?
PAMELA: What Germany will get, Dr.
Bork, won’t be Africa …
JACK: When you shoot a cat—be sure
he’s dead…before you put your rifle down…
I should point out here before cat fanciers start stampeding
to the comments section that J-Jack is using “cat” in the lion/tiger
sense. (Well anyway, that’s my story and
I’m sticking to it.)
BORK: By the way…don’t expect Mr.
Elliot and Mr. Kelly to save
you…they’ve been buried alive…
Dun-dun-dun!!! Bork leaves her prisoners on that note of
self-satisfaction, and the scene shifts back to Mr. Elliot and Mr. Kelly, who
are looking for a way out of their predicament.
BOB: Boy…they certainly did a good
job this time…how are we going to get out of here?
CHUCK: I don’t know… (Looking off
to the side) Hey Bob—do you see what I see?
A boulder rolls out in front of the two men, revealing an opening
in a cave wall. Crouching down to
examine it, Bob tells his partner: “Don’t follow me til’ I call you,
Chuck.” Bob crawls into the opening and
along a tunnel until he finds himself standing upright inside another cave…he
then gives Chuck the all-clear.
CHUCK: The Nazis tried to kill us…not scare us…so somebody else
opened this tunnel…
BOB: Must have been Lothel…
The two of them look back at the tunnel, and then turning
back around get a surprise—it is
Lothel (Ruth Roman), the mystery queen of the jungle!
LOTHEL: The middle jungle people need their friends…but our enemies have
captured them…
BOB: Who else have the Nazis
captured, Lothel—in addition to Godac?
LOTHEL: Kyba…the Tongghili who should succeed Godac…an old hunter…and
the niece of the murdered Courtney…
CHUCK: Jungle Jack and Pam! Where are they?
LOTHEL: In the caves of Mt. Balgan …
BOB: You mean…you can’t help our friends?
LOTHEL: Mine is another destiny…
CHUCK: That’s a new way of saying
“no”…
Okay, I did laugh out loud at that…particularly since I
haven’t been able to figure out just what the hell Lothel’s “destiny” is or why
she’s able to pay Godac (Clinton Rosemond) regular visits in the cave where
he’s being held prisoner but doesn’t lift a finger to rescue his sorry ass.
BOB: Take it easy, Chuck… (To
Lothel) Will you show us the way to go there?
LOTHEL: Yes…follow me…
The three of them quickly reach the cave’s exit.
CHUCK: All we have to do is find
where the telephone wires start again and follow them!
LOTHEL: I will show you a path…
BOB: That’s for me… (To Chuck) You follow the wires if you want to…
CHUCK: Sometimes I wonder if I’m
stupid or just talk too much…
BOB: Oh, you don’t talk too much…
Oh, burrrnnn!!! The
three of them continue to rush through the flora-decorated backlot and one
dissolve later, they reach a clearing.
Pointing off into the distance, Lothel intones: “Follow the path that
will lead you to the caves of Balgan…to Godac, Kyba, your friends…to your enemies…” She then runs off ahead, but by the time Bob
and Chuck follow she’s done another vanishing act. (Chuck: “Well…Queenie’s done
it again…”)
The scene shifts to the “nerve center” inside Mt.
Balgan —the communications set-up
manned by radio operator Weber (Louis Adlon), who finds himself joined by goons
Heinkel and Muller.
WEBER: Finished?
MULLER: Yeah…
WEBER (with uncharacteristic glee):
We’ll be at war with Poland before tomorrow!
HEINKEL: Good! The sooner the better…where’s Lang?
WEBER: In with Godac…
Heinkel heads off in the direction of the cell of Godac—the
all-powerful judge of the middle jungle tribes—where we also find the
ruthlessly inefficient Lang (Douglass Dumbrille), Bork’s second-in-command.
HEINKEL (to Lang): Is Godac
reasonable?
LANG: No…he refuses to tell us where the real
Sword of Tongu is hidden…
HEINKEL: Perhaps he just doesn’t
understand…
LANG (brightening): You’ve been
taught all the latest scientific methods of the Gestapo—haven’t you, Heinkel?
“Not only that, Herr Lang…I was employed as a prison guard
for five months at Guantanamo …”
HEINKEL: That’s why I say…Godac doesn’t understand…
LANG: Well, give him a
demonstration…but don’t kill him…
Lang exits the cell to allow Heinkel to do that voodoo that
he do so well…and because the last shot we see is Heink drawing his revolver
from his holster we know these “scientific methods” can’t be good. Back in the radio room, Weber continues to
listen animatedly to war news developments as if it were a Yankees
doubleheader. Dr. Bork arrives, joining
Lang, Weber and Muller.
BORK (to Lang): Has Godac told you
the secret?
LANG: No…he’s stubborn…I warned Heinkel not to kill him…
BORK: How about Maati?
LANG: He should be waiting for me
on the trail…
BORK: Good…have him postpone
producing the sword and claiming Godac’s place…
LANG: Well—should I tell him about
the sword being imitation?
BORK: No…let him continue to
believe that it’s the real Sword of
Tongu…
I’ll say this for Nazis—they’re consistent. They’re always capitalizing on opportunities
to knife their allies in the back. Those
allies—power-mad native chieftain Maati (Napoleon Simpson), his stooge, Noma
(Emmett Smith) and a few other warriors—are precisely where Lang said they’d
be, hanging out in the jungle when he approaches.
LANG: Godac is beginning to believe
it is wise to do what we want…
MAATI: Godac will give me the lower
throne?
LANG: If he doesn’t, you can claim
to be his successor anyway…your middle jungle people will never suspect you…
NOMA: The Tongghili wait…
LANG: Until tomorrow?
MAATI: When Godac chooses me…I will
kill Godac…I wanna be the judge…
“Tell me about the rabbits, George…”
LANG: Well, you can do it when the
time comes—go ahead… (Staring off into the distance) Look!
Lang has spotted Bob running in a nearby clearing, so
drawing his revolver, he fires a shot in our hero’s direction. As Bob runs off, Lang and the natives give
chase…and as Bob zips by Chuck, Chuck runs off behind his friend. The two men desperately try to elude Lang and
the natives, finally seeking temporary shelter underneath some bushes:
CHUCK: Why stop here?
BOB: You’re not stopping, Chuck…he didn’t see you…cut across the telephone wires and follow them into Balgan…
CHUCK: While you get it here? Hah! Just watch me…
BOB: Not seeing you with me they’ll
think you’re dead…I’ll hold them off
long enough so no one will follow you…
CHUCK: Uh-uh…no soap, Bob…
BOB: Listen, Chuck…it’s our only
chance to rescue Pam, Godac and the others!!
CHUCK: Well…okay, Bob—I guess
you’re right…
BOB: Go on! Beat
it!
Either Chuck’s loyalty is a bottomless pit…or he’s got some
news for himself where Bob’s concerned.
Chuck runs off as Lang and the others start to close in. Bob fires his pistola in the air to distract
their attention, but Lang observes “He’s given himself away.” And indeed he has, as the natives quickly surround
the bushes where Bob thought he was safe.
“Well, Mr. Elliot,” gloats Lang, “we’ve finally caught up with
you.” There is then a quick shot of
Chuck hauling ass and elbows through the jungle…and then stopping because the
idiot has apparently lost his bearings.
Back in their cell in the caves of Mt.
Balgan , Pamela and J-Jack watch as
Kyba stares off into space, as in a trance…
JACK: What’s the matter, Kyba?
PAMELA: Is something wrong?
KYBA: Godac’s in danger…very great danger…
JACK: Well…no more so, Kyba, than
the rest of us…
KYBA: Godac will not live…
Kind of spooky as to how Kyba knows all this, but he’s
correctamundo…Dr. Bork enters Godac’s cell and she is not happy with Heinkel
concerning the judge’s weak physical state.
BORK: The science of torture,
Heinkel, is to prolong it…there’s
always another day…but there’s only one Godac…
HEINKEL: I never saw anyone stand so much pain…I…I guess I
thought him stronger than he is…
BORK (after giving Heinkel a
disapproving look): There’s a chance I can save him…
Damn it, Elise, you’re a botanist, not a surgeon! The two of them exit the cell and return to
the radio room, where Weber is positively giddy over Germany ’s
preparations for World War II (“Our friends are getting ready for general
mobilization!”). Bork then addresses her
underlings in a curious bit of dialogue exchange—it’s like part needless plot
exposition, part disciplinary dressing-down of Heinkel for his blundering.
BORK (to Weber): What do you know
about the Sword of Tongu?
WEBER: The man who knows its hiding
place—Godac—is the judge of all the
tribes…the sword is the symbol of his
power…
BORK: If we knew the secret…and a new judge like Maati didn’t know it…we would control
Maati, wouldn’t we?
MULLER: Why, that’s obvious…
“But nevertheless, it doesn’t deter us from explaining this
week after week!”
MULLER: …Maati has to have the
sword in order to be judge…and he can only get it from us…
BORK: Precisely…
Now here’s the part where Heinkel learns he did piss-poorly
on his performance review…
BORK: But chances are, Heinkel…that
we will never learn that secret now…
(To Muller) Where are the medical supplies?
MULLER: I’ll get them, Doctor…
In Godac’s cell, the judge of all the middle jungle tribes
is fading fast. But he has just enough
breath in his body to speak to Lothel…yes, that
Lothel. The one who could have rescued
him several chapters ago but apparently hers “is another destiny”:
LOTHEL: I’ve come, Godac…so that
the secret of the sword would not be lost to your Tongghili…
GODAC (with little strength left):
Lothel…I’ve been waiting for you…only you can save my people now…
“I just hope…you are able to help them more… than you were
able…to save me…jungle bitch…”
LOTHEL: Where is the hiding place
for the Sword of Tongu?
GODAC: The Sword of Tongu is hidden
in…in…
But we never learn his answer to her question, because we’re
back in the radio room again, where the chewing-out of Heinkel continues:
BORK: With Germany undertaking to fight the whole world…mistakes cannot be tolerated…
In the Nazi industry, failure is not an option. (I think Bork’s just pissed because now she
has to change the number on the “Days without an accident” sign outside the
cave.)
HEINKEL: But Dr. Bork…I thought
Godac was stronger than he is! You can’t always tell about people! When you
torture them! How was I to know he
would…gaaaaahhhh!!!
Heinkel never finishes his appeal, because Weber—in what I
would think is a little out of his job classification—has plunged a dagger
right into Heinkel’s back. “Get rid of the
body,” Bork orders Muller and Weber, and when the two men carry the dead Nazi
off, she grabs the first-aid kit and heads for Godac’s cell. But since Godac has drawn his rations,
perhaps she should have waited to discipline Heinkel after she administered to Godac’s medical needs. Cut back to the radio room, where Lang is
escorting the captured Bob to his new home.
MULLER: Elliot!
LANG: He must have gotten out of
your trap someway, Muller…I was going
to kill him right away but I thought I’d better let Bork decide what to do with
him…
WEBER: Good idea, Lang…Heinkel
almost killed Godac…
LANG: Oh, I told him to be careful… (Noticing that Bork has
arrived) How’s Godac?
BORK: Dead… (To Muller) Arrange Godac’s body for Maati to take away…
(Muller exits) Now that Godac’s dead… (Smiling) and now since Mr. Elliot is
with us…all our prisoners have become valuable…
Bork has some additional dialogue concerning Maati which is,
sadly, undecipherable because of a bad splice in the print that VCI used for
the DVD. It becomes clear again with
Weber announcing that the Germans are bombing Poland :
BORK: You see, Mr. Elliot…Germany ’s plans…have left nothing
to chance…
WEBER: England is declaring war! France will follow!
BORK (with scorn): They are signing
their death warrants…
BOB: You Germans also said the same
thing in 1914, Dr. Bork… (He chuckles) You know what happened…
BORK: I’ll let you talk to me about
it a little later, Mr. Elliot…but I don’t think you’ll find it funny… (To Lang) Put him with the
others…
Yeah. Bob…that trash talk would have been more effective had
we not waited three years to get into that first one. Bob is quickly tossed into the cooler with
Pamela, Kyba and J-Jack.
PAMELA: Bob! We thought you were dead!
JACK: Where’s Chuck?
(Bob starts to answer but Lang cuts
him off)
LANG: It would be cruel, Mr.
Elliot, to make your friends think Mr. Kelly was dead…you prevented us to capture you in order that Kelly might
escape, hoping he might save you…but the natives picked up his trail…Mr. Kelly
hasn’t gone as far as you’d hoped…
Lang leaves, locking the door, as the others band together
to help to untie Bob. We then dissolve
to a shot of Chuck running in the jungle, followed closely by Maati, Noma and
the rest of the warriors. Chuck reaches
a clearing by a river (the same one that had the boat to which Lothel led Bob
and J-Jack in Chapter 6) but since there is no transportation for our numbnut
sidekick, he dives into the water in a desperate bid for freedom.
MAATI: We don’t have to worry about
him…see? Carka…
Carka, for those of you not up on your Tongghili, refers to
the plentitude of stock footage crocodiles that frequently pops up in this
serial (notably in Chapters 2 and 3). So
it looks as though Chuck is going to become an hors d’oeurve for the hungry
critters. Swim! Swim! (I’m talking to the Carka, by the way.)
1 comment:
An opening title card warns us that the clock is ticking before the Second World War gets underway…
A major goof, one I'm surprised you didn't catch. The title card reads "Sept. 3, 1939," when Germany actually attacked Poland on Sept. 1. And the creators of the serial let it past them, too, as the dialogue you quote makes obvious:
MR. X (on the phone): So that’s the latest…quite…quite…thanks, old chap… (He hangs up the receiver) Henderson reports from Berlin that Germany will attack Poland at any moment…
UNDERSECRETARY: Not unexpected, what?
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