We’re back, baby!
Since it has been an eternity between this and the last time
I did a Serial Saturdays (okay, more like December of last year) I’m
going to need a few minutes to catch up on my notes. Let’s see…(turning pages) good guys spirit Professor
Henry Weston (Sam Flint) to undisclosed location…bad guys “kidnap” irksome lady
reporter Joyce Winters (Virginia Lindley) to learn Weston’s whereabouts…intrepid
faux detective Steve Colt (Bruce Edwards) turns tables on villains and finds
their hideout…villains set warehouse hideout en fuego, thus sealing Steve and Joyce’s doom.
Well, yeah…I could have waited for that. I just chose not to. If you need to refresh your memory with Chapter 8 it’s copacetic with me…but the gist of it all is that it looks as if Steve was about to be explodiated in that warehouse (since the drums marked “linseed oil” were anything but)—instead, his quick thinking enabled him to duck into the underground space previously revealed by a trap door (Joyce is already down there, still hilariously handcuffed to that steering wheel) before the place blowed up real good.
The news of Colt’s death comes as quite a shock to the delectably diabolic Sombra (Carol Forman), the villainess whose reign of terror sets most of the chapters in this serial in motion, and she grieves in her office along with henchman Nick Ward (Anthony Warde).
SOMBRA: …with Steven Colt dead, we’ve
cut off our only link to Weston’s secret laboratory…and Hitomu’s whole plan for
world conquest lies in our securing Weston’s atomic rocket!
(Dr. Z.V. Jaffa [I. Stanford
Jolley], the brainier of Sombra’s minions, enters the office with newspaper in
hand)
JAFFA: Madame need not regret the
untimely death of Mr. Colt…for he and Miss Winters are alive… (He shows Sombra
the newspaper)
SOMBRA (reading): “Steven Colt Narrowly
Escapes Death”…
WARD (sarcastically): That’s too bad…
You seem all busted up about it, buddy.
SOMBRA (continuing): “Trapped in
the explosion of a burning warehouse, the celebrated author and criminologist
lies in Mercy Hospital…”
Mercy? Nah, they
probably would have sent him to Grady.
(Little location joke for those of you familiar with Atlanta.)
SOMBRA: “…suffering from a severe concussion
and possible internal injuries…Joyce Winters, Clarion reporter who was with Colt, escaped unhurt and was
able to summon aid…” (To Ward and Jaffa) This is our chance to make him
prisoner…and force him to lead us to
Weston’s hiding place!
Sombra is then interrupted by that old familiar gong, and she
announces that Ward and Jaffa need to make themselves scarce because her father
(Brother Theodore Gottlieb) will be arriving tuit suite, and that means the
grown-ups will be talking. What happens
next is one of my favorite moments in the history of chapter plays.
WARD: Wait a minute…why must the
Doctor and I take orders and risk our
necks for someone we’ve never even seen?
JAFFA (impatiently): Come on, Ward…
“Dude…you do not
want to piss her off in moments like this!”
WARD: No…wait till I’ve had my say…you
tell me there’s a Supreme Master who lives on the other side of the world…and
can be brought here in a few seconds by…some sort of super-scientific Rube Goldberg contraption…
SOMBRA: You doubt the existence of my father?!!
WARD: When my neck’s at stake I
believe only what I see!
SOMBRA (after a pause): Perhaps you’re
right…watch closely…
So Sombra addresses Ward’s crisis of faith by turning the
knobs on the ol’ machine and…
"Sh*t's about to get real!" |
WARD: Pleased to meetcha…Ward’s my
name… (He extends his hand for a greeting)
HITOMU (with unconcealed contempt):
I’m aware of your identity…and I am
disappointed in the results you’ve
achieved…there are delays…delays…delays! The fate of my world empire hangs in the
balance!
Gee, Nick…maybe there was a reason she didn’t want you to meet the old man. This twist in the narrative is really the
only highlight of “The Spider’s Venom,” because Chapter 9 is what is known in
the serial bidness as a “recap” chapter.
Basically, it allowed Republic to skimp a little on the production costs
of The Black Widow by featuring
previous footage from Chapters 1
and 2
to pad out Chapter Nueve with a lot of repetitive plot exposition. (In other words, Hitomu gets to hear how his
daughter and her underlings have continually botched his mahd scheme for world
domination by flashing back to the time she impersonated Ruth Dayton [Ramsay
Ames], explodiations, warehouse scuffles, etc.)
When that little trip down Memory Lane is completed, it’s back to the
real action.
HITOMU: Perhaps you’ve done well…up to the limit of your capabilities…but
more subtle means are needed to
destroy Mr. Colt…
SOMBRA: But, Father…we need Colt alive!
To find Weston!
HITOMU: No, no…the man is far too dangerous to risk his recovery…now…while
he lies in the hospital…helpless…now
he must meet the fate of the other victims…of
The Black Widow…
Dun-dun-DUN! There is
a dissolve, and though it was established earlier that our hero is interned in
Mercy Hospital, apparently the Mercy administrators have slashed the budget in
order to answer to their stockholders…because they cannot afford a decent sign:
Inside Steve’s room, the unfathomably nosy Joyce peppers his physician (Larry Steers) and nurse (Peggy Wynne) with questions—because that’s the way she rolls.
JOYCE: How is he, Doctor?
HARCOURT: Doing as well as can be
expected…he needs rest and absolute quiet…
“So you need to get the hell out of here. I’m not joking.”
The nurse, identified as “McIntyre,” is summoned to another
station via the hospital intercom…and so she excuses herself for a moment while
she tends to matters. Dr. Harcourt
reiterates that “the patient will do quite well if left alone for a while,” and
so he and Joyce exit, pursued by bears.
A door opens, and a mysterious nurse enters with medicine and a glass of water (but no silly straw) for Colt. Her identity is then revealed to be…
4 comments:
One of the things I love the most about these serials is how these diabolical plans for world domination always seem to depend upon henchmen who were apparently picked up from a corner somewhere while holding a sign saying "Will stooge for food". And what kind of would-be ruler of the world bases his wardrobe on Zoltan the fortune telling machine?
As always, amazed at the work you put in to these blog posts, so funny and well done. Glad I'm back to reading them after time away.
grouchomarxist mused:
One of the things I love the most about these serials is how these diabolical plans for world domination always seem to depend upon henchmen who were apparently picked up from a corner somewhere while holding a sign saying "Will stooge for food"
I picture something like out of On the Waterfront: "Everybody works today! I need four men to work with a mad scientist and his robot!"
pete added
As always, amazed at the work you put in to these blog posts, so funny and well done.
Thanks, Br'er Pete. Apologies for the dearth of serial posts; I've just been wrestling with the winter lazies.
Big lulz at that last screen grab. Looks like he got a shot in the hinder.
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