G-Men Never Forget - Chapter 9: The Death Wind

OUR STORY SO FAR: It’s going to be short and sweet this week, kids – details below…

Chapter 9 of our death-defying thrill saga, G-Men Never Forget (1948), is what as known in the serial biz as a “cheater.” It was a common practice at motion picture studios whose specialty was cranking out cliffhangers—though in all honesty I think it was considerably more noticeable at Republic (Columbia relied on them, too—but since the Columbia serials were so dirt-cheap you rarely paid any attention)—that allowed the filmmakers to economize a bit and feature a chapter that had the main principals sitting around and discussing what had transpired in the chapter play so far. In “The Death Wind,” we witness the escape of Ted O’Hara (Clayton Moore) and Francis Blake (Ramsay Ames) from the farmhouse just before it’s bombed by Murkland’s pilot (Tom Monroe), and then the scene switches to Benson’s Sanitarium, where Duke (Drew Allen) and “Doc” Benson (Stanley Price) are seated around a desk in Benson’s office bellyaching about how O’Hara lives a charmed life:

BENSON: O’Hara seems to outguess us at every turn…
GRAHAM: Yeah…he must carry a rabbit’s foot…but that kind of luck’s gotta change sometime…

Either that or you two really, really suck at heading up a criminal operation. Vic Murkland (Roy Barcroft), the master criminal whose undergone plastic surgery in order to pass himself off as Commissioner Angus Cameron, enters the room at the tail end of Duke’s remark.

MURKLAND: What are you talking about…it’s not luck…it’s shrewd, quick-thinking…

Something that’s in relatively short supply at Murkland, Inc…but I digress…

MURKLAND: Every time he strikes, he gets a little closer…another thing…he’s asking his chief in Washington to fly out here for a special conference…
BENSON: You don’t think he suspects you, do you?
MURKLAND: I don’t know…I don’t see how he could, unless we made a slip-up somewhere…let’s go back over everything from the time I told you to pick up Cameron…now what was it?

And so, the recycled footage from Chapter One commences…from Cameron being gassed in the taxi cab to seeing his exact double in Murkland’s completed plastic surgery. Duke has his own flashbacks to contribute as well, centering on the big “breakout” from the police hospital with a disguised O’Hara and Blake.

GRAHAM: It’s like I say—O’Hara’s been lucky…
MURKLAND: Okay, maybe you’re right…I still can’t figure out why he sent for Special Deputy Roberts and is holding a meeting in my office tonight…
GRAHAM: A trap…to make you give yourself away!
MURKLAND: Well, if it is a trap…I’ll be the only one who comes out of it alive…

Later that evening, in Cameron’s office, Ted and Francis fill Roberts (Phil Warren) in on what he missed in the previous eight chapters—though this is not necessarily a bad thing, because we do get to see the exciting Daredevils of the Red Circle tunnel footage from Chapter One again. Once “Cameron” arrives at the meeting, O’Hara starts with the reminiscing. As O’Hara tells his story, there is much deviltry afoot: Duke and another member (Dale Van Sickel…again) of the voluminous Murkland henchman stable stick a hose into the building’s ventilation system and begin to pump in a powerful knockout gas…that threatens to put our heroes out of circulation…permanently!

Next Saturday, Chapter 10: The Innocent Victim!

G-Men Never Forget – Chapter 8: The Fatal Letter

OUR STORY SO FAR: With Thrilling Days of Yesteryear’s weekly dissection of the 1948 Republic cliffhanger G-Men Never Forget (1948) pushed up to Sunday, we nevertheless aren’t surprised at all to see arch criminal Vic Murkland (Roy Barcroft)—professional meanie and all-around no-goodnik—continuing with his reign of terror over a helpless city thanks to plastic surgery (administered by Robert “Doc” Benson [Stanley Price], the Earl Scheib of Nip ‘n’ Tuck) which has made him the spitting image of Police Commissioner Angus Cameron (also played by Barcroft).

When we last checked in, Murkland’s head flunky, Duke Graham (Drew Allen), was attempting to transport stolen furs past a blockade set up by the cops—and our stalwart hero and heroine, Special Agent Ted O’Hara (Clayton Moore) and Sergeant Francis Blake (Ramsay Ames), were hot on his trail. Realizing that further attempts to outrun O’Hara and Blake would be futile, Duke instructed his lackey (Dale van Sickel) to stop the truck at the top of the hill—which Duke then sets on fire and sends rolling back down…directly into the path of our heroes’ automobile!

Okay, quick show of hands—who believes that Ted and Francis crashed into el carro llameante and died deaths so heroic that I won’t have to do another write-up next week? Yeah, that’s what I thought. As you’ve no doubt guessed, these two shining examples of law enforcement merely step out of an automobile going about 60 M.P.H. and roll around on the highway while their hot-rod runs right into the flaming truck. It must be seen to be believed. (On second thought—I saw it and I couldn’t believe it.)

Back at Benson’s Sanitarium (“Our patients aren’t the only thing that’s crazy—check out our low prices!”); Duke laments the loss of nearly $250,000 worth of furs, while Benson and his aide Slater (Jack O’Shea) reassure him that everything is going to be hunky-dory. It would appear, however, that there is a bit of dissension in the ranks: an orderly named George (Barry Brooks) is wringing his hands at the thought of the cops finally figuring out that Murkland is posing as Cameron, whining (there’s one in every crowd): “We might get in trouble.” (George apparently is unaware that Special Agent O’Hara is in charge of this case, and the odds of him figuring out Murkland’s deception so early in this serial are pretty slim because…well, let’s just say O’Hara won’t be bringing potato salad to any of the MENSA picnics anytime soon.) George has cut a deal with the imprisoned Cameron; he has arranged for a letter (I assume this is the “fatal” missive mentioned in this week’s title) to be mailed to O’Hara informing him of Murkland’s diabolical ruse:

CAMERON: Did you mail my letter?
GEORGE: You sure I won’t do time?
CAMERON: I’ve explained to you I can’t promise you immunity but I’ll do all I can to help you…after all, you’ll be a witness against Murkland—I’m sure the court will take that into consideration…
GEORGE: All right…I took care of my end of the deal…

Unbeknownst to George, Benson has been outside Cameron’s room drinking this entire conversation in, so he calls Murkland to let him know there’s a stoolie in the ranks and to ask what to do with him. At that same time, O’Hara chats with Murkland (pretending to be Cameron) about the after effects of his efforts to put the kibosh on Murkland’s plans:

O’HARA: I don’t think Sergeant Blake was seriously hurt…however, I left her at Dr. Anderson’s on Line Street for a check-up…just to be sure…
MURKLAND: I hope you’re right…she’s a very capable police woman…
O’HARA: Definitely…
(The phone on the Commissioner’s desk begins to ring…Murkland reaches over to answer it…)
MURKLAND: Commissioner Cameron…excuse me, O’Hara…yes, yes, I understand…I’ll give it my personal attention…in the meantime, collect all the information you can on the case…not at all… (He hangs up the phone)
O’HARA: The Murkland case?
MURKLAND: No, no…another bad traffic accident…

So the Commissioner has to be informed of every traffic accident that happens down the pike? (No wonder this city is in such a mess.) O’Hara announces his intentions of returning to the garage where the false oil drum bottoms were being built, and takes his leave of “Cameron”—which prompts the big phony to drive out to the sanitarium just in time to watch Cameron and George being worked over for their perfidy:

MURKLAND: All right, Duke…that’s enough…well, Cameron? Feel like talking? (Cameron nods his head “no.”) No? You’d better…no use being beat to death…
CAMERON: You won’t kill me, Murkland…for some reason, you want me alive…
MURKLAND: Sure I do…someday I’ll fix it so you’ll die…be buried as Murkland…master criminal…and I’ll go free… (Pointing at George) As for you…your death would give me nothing but pleasure…

All together now: “Mwha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!”

CAMERON: Don’t talk, George! It’ll only be a little while longer…
MURKLAND: George won’t be here in a little while unless he talks…Benson!
(“Doc” follows Murkland over to the side of the room where it’s not necessary to shoot Roy Barcroft’s double from the back…) See what you can do…
BENSON: Very well…

Benson reaches into his “medical bag” and pulls out an evil-looking syringe. “Duke…you and Slater put him on the table.” The “him” Benson is referring to is George, who is soon singing like a canary at the thought of being shot up with something that will have him picturing himself in a boat on the river with tangerine trees and marmalade skies. George babbles all about…the fatal letter…and when Cameron taunts Murkland that the mail to O’Hara’s apartment has already been delivered by now Vic sends Duke and Kramer (John Daheim) to O’Hara’s crib to retrieve it.

At Chez O’Hara, the two nosy parkers find…the fatal letter…and Dukie sets it ablaze…only to be startled when Ted makes a cameo appearance in his own joint. With his gun drawn, he informs Graham he’s taking the letter and…well, naturally a fist fight erupts. But this is a relatively brief affair: Kramer is knocked down in the brief struggle, while Duke hits Ted with a balsa wood desk chair and beats a hasty retreat out the fire escape. Just as Kramer is going to tattoo his initials on O’Hara’s forehead with his .45, Sgt. Blake comes in a-blazin’. (“Nice shootin’, Sarge,” remarks O’Hara for a second time.)

O’Hara, using his phenomenal powers of deduction, dopes out that the now-destroyed…fatal letter…must have been very important in the Murkland matter and once again opines if there might not be a leak in the good guys’ organization. Francis suggests that if they were to get the word out on the streets that the henchman Kramer didn’t die in the gunfight—but was merely wounded—it might flush Duke out and into a trap:

O’HARA: Do you have a man who might contact the mob?
BLAKE: Better than that…Duke Graham’s ex-girlfriend…Duke double-crossed her…and she’d do anything to get even with him…

Ah, yes…hell hath no fury like a moll scorned. Duke gets the misinformation and relays it to Benson, who in turn tries to contact Murkland…but with no success. So Duke decides to take a goon with him out to the old Clarkson farmhouse where O’Hara is purportedly keeping Kramer, planning to get him hopped up on truth serum so he’ll spill the beans. When Benson finally contacts Murkland and fills him in on Duke’s plans, Murkland—who’s just had a gander at the “daily homicide reports,” important papers that reveal that the late Mr. Kramer…well, is the late Mr. Kramer—he orders Benson to have a bomber pilot (Tom Monroe) drop his payload on the farmhouse.

Frances and Ted rearrange balsa wood furniture in front of the house’s back entrance in order to force Duke into using the front door. (Yeah, like that’s gonna stop him.) Duke and a thug named Bud (the indefatigable Dale Van Sickel) pull up in the Thugmobile, and Duke tells his lackey to go around to the back while he takes care of the front entrance. (But…but what about all that balsa furniture?) Overhead, Joe the Bomber Pilot, sizing up the situation from his plane, decides to use his microphone (and a speaker system that I’ll be can be heard in twenty surrounding counties) by announcing in a loud, clear voice: “Duke…this is Joe…O’Hara set a trap for you…get back and keep them pinned down…I’m gonna bomb the house…”

Nothing like the element of surprise, huh? Frances and Ted decide that now might be a good time to vacate the premises…but with Duke pinning them down with gunfire in the front and Bud returning the favor in the backyard, it would appear our two heroes are trapped. Furthermore, the Lydecker brothers (special effects wizards Howard and Theodore) are having to work overtime because Joe’s accuracy is apparently on par with his element-of-surprise skills (apparently close does only count in hand grenades and horseshoes). He misses the house with his first two bombs…but it looks as if the third time’s the charm…

Nest Saturday, Chapter Nine: The Death Wind!

G-Men Never Forget – Chapter 7: Hot Cargo

OUR STORY SO FAR: Since it’s been roughly a millennium since I last looked at G-Men Never Forget (1948), let’s get briefly up to speed with what’s transpired in the serial so far. As you may know, arch villain Vic Murkland (Roy Barcroft) recently escaped from a not-so-maximum security prison and returned to his former career of crime. His activities include shaking down Girl Scouts for cookie money, felonious jaywalking, and drinking chocolate malted falcons while giving away free high schools*…

He’s able to get away with such wickedness thanks to Robert “Doc” Benson (Stanley Price), who, having obtained a medical degree from an institution found in the classified ad section of an old Rolling Stone, has applied plastic surgery and transformed Murkland into the spitting image of Police Commissioner Agnes Calhoun (also Barcroft). Calhoun had been working alongside professional Boy Scout and do-gooder Ted O’Hara (Clayton Moore) who, careful though he may be to get at least eight hours of sleep at night and drink three glasses of milk a day, is a right puddinghead who still hasn’t figured out that Cameron is really Murkland. He’s assisted in this idiocy by pert and perky Sergeant Francis Blake (Ramsay Ames), who’s trying to make herself look as unattractive as she can in order to keep O’Hara’s advances at bay.

In Chapter 6, O’Hara fled from the crooks’ hideout disguised as a messenger and riding a motorcycle while Duke Graham (Drew Allen) followed close on his tail. At a crucial moment, Duke shot at O’Hara’s tires…causing the motorbike to spin out of control and off a cliff…

I have good news and bad news. The good news is that the cliffhanger in Chapter Six is legit—of course, if you’re shown an eye-popping shot of a guy driving a motorcycle practically into a camera, I can’t possibly see how you can wiggle out of it with a “cheat”…though I’m sure some have tried. Even Parker (Tom Steele) is wise enough to know that Ted’s drawn his rations, passing by the scene and commenting ironically: “Well, that did it, Duke…” “Doc” Benson phones Murkland from the sanitarium and informs him that their troubles are all over.

But are they? Who should walk into Cameron’s office but…ta-daah! It’s Ted O’Hara, that foine broth of a Fed, hale and hearty as the day you were born! (He’s accompanied by the fetching Sergeant Blake.) That’s the bad news; just when we thought we were about to be put out of our misery The Lone Federal Agent rides again:

O’HARA: Hello, Cameron…
BLAKE: Good afternoon, sir…
MURKLAND (suitably stunned): Why, uh…I didn’t expect to see you so soon…
O’HARA: Pretty close this time…
MURKLAND: Did you…um…get the film?
O’HARA: No, I didn’t…I grabbed it before your men arrived and got away on a motorcycle…Duke chased me, and when my tire blew I went over the cliff…I must have blacked out when I hit, ‘cause I don’t remember a thing till I came to the surface…
BLAKE: And the film is at the bottom of the river, where it can do nobody any harm…
MURKLAND: Yes…and no good, either…here we are right back where we started from, with no clues and no leads and the Murkland gang still doing business as usual…

I know how he feels. Personally, if I hadn’t achieved any results by now, I’d throw in the towel. No sense in being a damn fool about it. Fortunately, Ted is made of sterner stuff:

O’HARA: Going back to the farmhouse, we picked up a few things that might prove very valuable…
MURKLAND: You did? What are they?
O’HARA (brandishing documents): This page from the newspaper with an item torn out of it…and this incompletely burnt memo slip…
MURKLAND (examining both papers): I don’t see how you can make anything out of this…
O’HARA: Well, I can try with some equipment I have in my apartment…

And once again, it’s time for another edition of Fun with Science, as Theodore uses a combination of chemicals to bring out the writing on the burnt paper, which turns out to be a shipping order:

O’HARA: One-two-six Front Street…metal drum covers…
BLAKE: Hmm…what does that mean?
O’HARA: I don’t know…but I’ll check the address and see what gives…in the meantime, you check the newspaper files on that missing clipping…let’s go…

At the Front Street address, Duke watches while a lower-caste henchman named Finch (Gil Perkins) is busy affixing false bottoms to the metal drums referenced by O’Hara in the apartment. “Once we get the tops of these drums filled with fuel,” observes Duke, “no copper in the world will suspect they’re phonies—and that includes O’Hara.” But sooner has Graham arranged for a goon to take the drum out to a waiting truck when O’Hara arrives on the scene:

FINCH: Hey, buddy…what do you want?
O’HARA: Say, I’d like to get an estimate on a job…
FINCH: Oh…sorry, you see the boss is out, and I don’t know anything about prices…
O’HARA: It’s all right…I’ll wait…
FINCH: Oh—but he won’t be back until tomorrow morning…why don’t you come around then?

Finch and O’Hara’s conversation is interrupted by Finch’s none-too-bright buddy Hinky (Charles Regan), who announces in a voice loud enough to be heard across town, “Brother, that Murkland gang sure pays off.” When O’Hara, drawing his pistola, asks the both of them how much they know about the Murkland gang…yeah, you guessed it—the donnybrook then commences. In the melee, Hinky is soon all ass-and-elbows out the exit, but Finch picks O’Hara’s gat up off the floor and is about to close down this serial for good when shots ring out…and he slumps to the floor dead, the shooting victim of Francis “This serial isn’t over until I say it’s over” Blake.

O’HARA: Nice shooting, Sarge…I’ll do the same for you some day…
BLAKE: I’ll remember that, Mr. O’Hara…
O’HARA: The name is Ted…
BLAKE: All right, Ted…what did you find out?
O’HARA: Not much…’cept that fellow and the one who got away were doing business with Murkland…but I haven’t the slightest idea what it is…oh, how about the clipping?
BLAKE (pulling it from her purse): It’s about a shipment of rare furs from Canada… (She hands the article to O’Hara…)
O’HARA: Quarter of a million dollars…well, that sounds more along Murkland’s line…
BLAKE: I phoned the fur company and they said the stuff was being trucked in today…
O’HARA: By what route?
BLAKE: Highway 77, by way of Glenwood…
O’HARA: All right, let’s check it…

Maybe it’s just me, but from the sparkling repartee in the previous bit of dialogue, I have the sinking feeling that these two crazy kids are going to fall for one another by the time they call it a wrap. Getting into the Tedmobile, our heroic couple tool down Highway 77 until they spot a man (Arvon Dale) stranded on the right side of the road:

O’HARA (flashing his credentials): O’Hara, Special Agent…what happened here?
DRIVER: I was forced off the road by a truck…my whole load of furs was hijacked…
O’HARA: Did you see who it was?
DRIVER: Naw…must have bumped my head when I hit…’cause I don’t remember a thing until I came to a few minutes ago…
O’HARA: You all right now?
DRIVER: Yeah, I can take care of myself…
O’HARA: Good!

I like how Moore delivers that last line, as if to say: “’Cause you’re not getting a lift with us.” He places a call on his car radio to have the roads blocked in the area and to search all vehicles for the stolen furs. (Quick inserts of uniformed men straddling motorcycles and squad cars taking hard corners let us know that he means bidness.) O’Hara suggests to Blake that they head back to town and wait on some results, and she counter-proposes that since they’ll be driving through a town called Fairview they should check out one of the road blocks on the way in. Outside the city limits sign, a truck approaches an officer (Charles Sullivan) in charge of the roadblock, and inside are Duke Graham and a goon (Dale Van Sickel) at the wheel. Asked what’s on the back, Duke replies: “Supplies and gasoline from Elbrook Farm.” The roadblock cop knocks on the drums and, hearing that they’re full, waves the two men on. Then Ted and Frances pull up:

MORGAN: Afternoon, Sergeant Blake…
BLAKE: Hello, Morgan…this is Special Agent O’Hara…
MORGAN: How are ya?
O’HARA: Hello, Morgan…any luck?
MORGAN: Nah…a couple of cars…just one truck went through a couple of minutes ago carrying a load of gasoline drums…
O’HARA: Were the drums empty?
MORGAN: No, there were full up…
O’HARA: You sure…?
MORGAN: Well, I…knocked on ‘em…

Give the guy a break, will you? He’s from Fairview, ferchrissake—hardly a think tank, you know. O’Hara’s convinced that something is up (he’s put the clues—including the shipping order for the drum covers—together) and he and Blake race off in pursuit. Catching up to the truck, Ted kicks on the siren, prompting Duke to look back to see what idiot is blowing the siren. “Speed ‘er up and keep going,” he instructs the goon behind the wheel, and getting out of the car bravely climbs up in the back of the truck. Spotted by Blake, the two exchange gunfire as the vehicles careen down winding, treacherous mountain roads.

Finally, Francis manages to shoot several holes into one of the metal drums, causing gasoline to spill out (that gal must be packing a cannon, because the holes are gi-normous). O’Hara and Blake go into a skid, which gives Graham time enough to climb back into the cab and instruct his buddy to stop at the top of the hill since they clearly can’t outrun them. With a pained look on his face (thinking about sacrificing all that fur, no doubt), Duke sets the truck on fire and the two men send it careening back down the hill…and right into the path of Ted and Francis’ car!!!

Nest Saturday, Chapter Eight: The Fatal Letter!

*Number Three!

G-Men Never Forget – Chapter 6: Marked Evidence

OUR STORY SO FAR: Look, you pretty much know the drill if you’ve been keeping up with the reading…and if you have been keeping with the reading, may the Good Lord take a likin’ to ya. Vic Murkland (Roy Barcroft), habitual scofflaw, has busted out of the jernt and with the help of some nip and tuck has become a dead ringer for Police Commissioner Angus Cameron…whom he is currently holding prisoner at the “sanitarium” of Robert “Doc” Benson (Stanley Price), a medico of questionable qualifications and the frequent dissenter in those “four out of five doctors” surveys. The two representatives of the law attempting to capture Murkland are Special Agent Ted O’Hara (Clayton Moore), who looks out of place without a mask, Indian and white horse, and Sergeant Francis Blake (Ramsay Ames) who…just looks out of place.

There was quite a bit of excitement in last week’s chapter: R.L. Cook (Edmund Cobb), big bidness tycoon and philanthropist (he’s the individual behind the Little Cook Urban Achievers) stumbled onto to Murkland’s masquerade as Cameron and, because we have another eight chapters to go, neglected to impart this information to O’Hara until it got dark—making it much easier for Murkland’s to silence him. He recorded this revelatory information on a Dictaphone record, but during a donnybrook between O’Hara/Blake and Murkland’s men it was scuffed up a tad. O’Hara is painstakingly trying to restore the recording and listen to Cook’s dying words…not knowing that an agent of Murkland’s has planted a booby trap in the machine…

I don’t know about you, but I was sort of rooting for the bomb in the last chapter—simply because O’Hara still hasn’t caught on that the man he believes to be Commissioner Cameron is in actuality his nemesis, Vic Murkland…and if he hasn’t figured it out by now, this serial needs to be put out of its misery. There was a glimmer of hope…but this turns to despair when Chapter 6 gets underway—O’Hara and Blake witness smoke belching out of the Dictaphone machine, and duck behind a stuffed easy chair to avoid getting hit with the subsequent shrapnel. (Missed it by that much.)

O’HARA (standing amidst the wreckage): Sure wish we could have found out what was on that record…well, Sarge…I have a hunch there’s a leak in the Commissioner’s office…
BLAKE: Come to think of it—I’ve never seen those two characters in our fingerprint department, either…

Now she tells him. Well, let’s leave our two clueless super cops and mosey on over to kindly old Doc Benson’s sanitarium (“If we don’t put back all your parts during surgery—the operation is on us!”)

MURKLAND: What’s the difference—even if Cook is dead, Cook Enterprises is still in business and still our pigeon…we’ve got nothing to worry about except O’Hara…

Trust me on this one, big guy…O’Hara is the last of your worries…he’s such a doofus.

GRAHAM: Want me to bump him off?
MURKLAND: No—what’s the matter, you crazy or something? (After a pause) I got a better idea…we’ll make O’Hara do just exactly what I want…
BENSON: That I gotta see…that I gotta see…
MURKLAND: You will… (To Graham) Get over there and write me a note…
(Duke sets down at a desk, ready to comply with Murkland’s commands…)
GRAHAM: Okay, shoot…who’s it go to?
MURKLAND (dictating): Ted O’Hara…”Willing to make a deal...spill all I know about the Murkland set-up…they’ve double-crossed me…I promise to turn state’s evidence if you’ll give me a break…if interested, come alone to 223 Front Street…Room 25…tomorrow afternoon…two o’clock…signed…Duke Graham…”
GRAHAM: Duke Graham? That’s me!

He’s a bright boy, that Dukie…very bright. Murkland tells him to stop worrying and sign the note, and the scene dissolves to the outside of a building marked “223,” followed by a close-up of Duke (Drew Allen) attaching a roscoe to his left leg with a rubber band. (What does he need a gun for if he’s not supposed to shoot…oh, there I go asking dumb questions again…) There is a knock at the door, and Duke walks over to answer it. It’s our hero, who gives Graham a fast frisk to see if he’s armed (this doesn’t include his left leg area, where he would find Graham’s piece rather easily) and then begins a spot-check of the room:

GRAHAM: What’s the matter, O’Hara? Don’t you trust me?
O’HARA: No, I don’t… (Finishes checking a locked door) Let’s get down to cases…what’s on your mind?
GRAHAM: Sit down…sit down, O’Hara…just what I said in the note…I’m willing to turn state’s evidence in return for a…immu…immuni…
O’HARA: Immunity?
GRAHAM: Yeah! That’s it!
O’HARA: You know I can’t make any promises…I’ll do what I can with the District Attorney…

That’s Mr. District Attorney to you, sir…you know, champion of the people! Defender of truth! Guardian of our fundamental rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness!

O’HARA: Besides…we’ll run you down eventually, Duke…nobody ever made crime pay off…

I have a list in my pocket of several former Wall Street CEO's that is going to make you look so silly, Theodore.

GRAHAM: Okay, O’Hara…you’re a square guy…besides, I got a beef against Murkland…and I’d do a little time to see him get his…
(As Duke utters this statement, a panel opens up from one of the doors and a man [Ken Terrell] can be seen pointing a camera in their direction…)
O’HARA: Start talking…

Graham asks O’Hara if he remembers “the Smith kidnap case,” which, since it happened outside the parameters of this serial is of little interest to us—its only purpose is to allow Duke to hand O’Hara the payoff money and…well, you see where this is going. Camera Guy is going to capture a Kodak moment, one that looks as if O’Hara is accepting a big honkin’ bribe. Graham explains that because the cash was marked (the “marked evidence” of the chapter title) he couldn’t spend it, and is deciding out of the goodness of his itty bitty criminal heart to turn it over to O’Hara.

O’HARA: Couldn’t spend it, so you decided to sell out Murkland…is that right?
GRAHAM: I got a beef, ain’t I?
O’HARA: All right, Duke…on your feet…you’re taking me to where I can find Murkland…
GRAHAM: All right, Joe…that’s enough…

Joe, of course, is the hidden photographer asking O’Hara to say “cheese”—and Duke, whipping out his hidden gat, has our hero right where he wants him.

GRAHAM: You’re in pictures, now…evidence of you taking a bribe…and it’s going right to the Times as soon as it’s developed—unless…
O’HARA: Unless what?
GRAHAM: Unless you’re only pretending to be trying to run us down while really taking orders from Murkland…
O’HARA (looking around): Well, uh…I’ll need time to think it over, Duke…
GRAHAM: I’ll give you time… (Glancing at his watch) One minute…gimme your camera, Joe…

One minute is more than enough time for Ted only because Republic serial henchmen are easily distracted, and he soon flips Joe the Cameraman over a table and onto Duke as another installment of “Fun with Balsa Wood” commences. In the subsequent dust-up, Joe snuffs it from a stray bullet fired from the gun that Graham and O’Hara are wrestling for control over, and Duke is able to wipe the walls with the flabby O’Hara—allowing him to take the camera and run like a Dristan-treated nose. A not-at-all groggy Ted gets to his feet, adjusts his fedora and grabs his pistola while glancing out the window to witness Graham’s hasty retreat. Unbeknownst to Dukie, he’s got a radiator leak that’s going to allow O’Hara to follow him easily, and the special agent motions for a car driven by Francis Blake to pull up alongside him:

BLAKE: Were you right?
O’HARA: It was a trap, all right…I had a hard time making Duke think he knocked me out… (Smiling) I see you did your part…
BLAKE: I put the caseline in the radiator and opened the petcock like you said…it’ll be easy to follow his trail…
O’HARA: Better start now…take it easy…we don’t want Duke to know he’s being followed…

What follows is a montage of driving scenes showing an oblivious Duke tooling along, unaware that he’s being tailed by O’Hara and Blake until our two shining examples of clean living and eight hours of sleep each night arrive at what appears to be an abandoned house, with Graham’s car parked outside. Ted instructs Francis to get in contact with the cops, and he cautiously makes his way toward the domicile. He is forced to hide when our old pal Trent (David Sharpe) pulls up on a motorcycle and knocks on the front door, asking to be let in. Told by Duke to cool his jets for a second, O’Hara quickly grabs him from behind and spirits him to where he’s hiding, knocks him out and dons the motorcycle apparel Trent was wearing.

Inside the house, Duke and another goon of auld acquaintance, Parker (Tom Steele), are developing the camera negative containing the incriminating photo of O’Hara happily pocketing the bribe money. Duke goes to let Trent in and unknowingly invites his nemesis into the house:

GRAHAM: You know, boys…we’ve got O’Hara right where we want him…
O’HARA (snapping on the lights): You sure have…hand me the film…

Duke introduces O’Hara to the business end of some crockery, the lights are dimmed and the whole shootin’ match begins! Well, only for a little bit…O’Hara quickly runs out of ammo (don’t worry, little buckaroo…those things happen to guys all the time), so his stuntman crashes through one of the house’s windows in front and O’Hara saddles up on Trent’s motorcycle…while Duke and Trent follow close behind in their Merry Oldsmobile.

The scene shifts to the highway you’ve seen in dozens of movies and serials, with O’Hara trying to shake off his pursuers and an eager Duke firing away like ammunition was ten cents a box. He manages to shoot out one of O’Hara’s tires, causing the motorcycle and WHEEEEEEEE…off the cliff it goes, with a great shot of Ted and cycle plunging right smack dab into the camera lens…

Next Saturday, Chapter Seven: Hot Cargo!

G-Men Never Forget (1948) – Chapter 5: The Dead Man Speaks

OUR STORY SO FAR: Vic Murkland (Roy Barcroft), a man of such unquestionable evil he refuses to bus his own tray when dining in cafeterias, is wreaking havoc in a small metropolitan city by means of an insidious insurance protection racket that rivals anything AIG could have possibly dreamed up. (On top of this, Murkland has rewarded him with nice, fat bonuses in the bargain.)

If you’re asking yourself how this fiend has managed to get away with this kind of chicanery under the very noses of the authorities, it’s because that—with the help of Robert “Doc” Benson (Stanley Price), part-time plastic surgeon and notary public—Murkland’s facial features have been transformed so that he’s a dead ringer for Police Commissioner Angus Cameron. (Oh, and I think Phil Gramm is involved in this somehow as well.) Special Agent Ted O’Hara (Clayton Moore) has been assigned to bring down Murkland, but along with his partner, Sergeant Francis Blake (Ramsay Ames), hasn’t quite been able to piece together that Cameron and Murkland are the same guy. (I don’t even want to know what his scores on the FBI examination were.)

In the last chapter, O’Hara had raced to a shipyard run by big bidness tycoon R.J. Cook (Edmund Cobb) to try and stop Cook’s latest construction of a ship because he learned that someone had tampered with the blueprints. For his trouble, he finds himself in the path of a super structure that’s come crashing to the ground…

Foolish mortals! Even the use of stock footage from a previous Dick Tracy Republic serial can’t stop Ted O’Hara, who emerges from the wreckage with nary a scratch! Sadly, not everyone was so lucky—several workmen were hurt, and as O’Hara and Cook speed back into town, they hear this announcement on the car radio:

ANNOUNCER: …and no accurate list of casualties is available…the injured are being rushed to hospitals, including Benson’s Sanitarium—a mental hospital which is not far from the scene of the accident…
(O’Hara shuts the radio off…)
O’HARA: Your superintendent was unconscious when they put him in the ambulance…
COOK: I got word that they’d taken him to Benson’s place…

The scene shifts to Benson’s—which in actuality is Murkland’s hide-out—where an injured individual is being carried in on a stretcher by the ambulance drivers. Murkland is sitting on Benson’s desk, and he tells his cohort not to let any of the new patients see Cameron:

BENSON: He may start yelling…
MURKLAND: Tell ‘em he’s one of your violent cases…meantime, I’ll go down and give him a little advice…

Murkland enters the cell that’s become the new home of Commissioner Cameron, and its occupant is none-too-pleased to see his weaselly, reconstructed face:

CAMERON: Oh…so it’s you…I’d hoped that O’Hara had exposed you and the police were here…

Steady, big guy…it’s only the fifth chapter and…well, let’s just say Ted won’t be bringing potato salad to any of the MENSA picnics soon.

MURKLAND: I’m in command of the police…none of your people even suspect I’m not Cameron…
CAMERON: Your plastic surgery trick won’t fool them forever…and I hope to see you hang!
MURKLAND: I doubt if you’ll live that long…I just came to give you a little advice…I’ve got a man posted outside your door and if you make any disturbance whatever I’ll have you beat to a pulp…keep that in mind…

Murkland goes back upstairs to learn that O’Hara and Cook have arrived at the sanitarium, so he tells Benson’s lackey Slater (Jack O’Shea) to station the pulp-beating goon outside Cameron’s door.

MURKLAND (as O’Hara and Cook enter): Hello, O’Hara!
O’HARA: Commissioner…
MURKLAND: Hiya, Mr. Cook! Meet Dr. Benson… (To Benson) Mr. O’Hara, Mr. Cook…
O’HARA: Doctor…
COOK: How are my men, Doctor?
BENSON: Well, doing as nice as can be expected…

Considering I’m evil…EVIL!

BENSON: Most of the cases are shock and concussion…but your superintendent, however, is still in a coma…but you can see some of the others…
O’HARA: We’d like to, Doctor…
BENSON: Good! This way, please…

While Benson is giving O’Hara and Cook the guided tour, we witness the real Cameron in his cell, attempting to jimmy open the door with what appears to be a kitchen utensil. There is a dissolve, and back in Benson’s office, Cook tells O’Hara he plans to stick around to await the status of his superintendent, and O’Hara suggests to “Cameron” that he drop him off at the shipyard to allow him to do some further investigation. The two men leave just as the real Cameron tricks his guard into entering his cell—where he hits the thug from behind and escapes:

BENSON (conversing with Cook in his office): You’re lucky that more of the men weren’t more seriously injured in this accident…
COOK: But it wasn’t an accident, Doctor…Mr. O’Hara is convinced that Vic Murkland…
(Cook is interrupted by the sudden opening of a door, which reveals…Commissioner Cameron!)
CAMERON: Help…I’m Police Commissioner Cameron…these men are holding me… (Slater and several other goons in Benson’s employ quickly surround Cameron and wrestle him to the ground) They’re holding me…against my will… (Cameron is quickly subdued and ushered out of the room, and Benson turns to Cook…)
BENSON: One of our more violent cases…he thinks he’s Commissioner Cameron…
COOK: But he looks like Cameron…
BENSON: Sure, he’s a dead ringer for him…that’s what started his hallucination…I’ve got Napoleon, Caesar and Abraham Lincoln in the back there…would you care to see them?
COOK (still looking dazed): No…another time, Doctor… (Glances at watch) I didn’t realize it was so late…I must get back to my office… (He saunters over to the exit, with Benson closely following) Thanks, Doctor…take good care of my men…

Either Cook is a bigger idiot than O’Hara for swallowing that flimsy excuse…or he realizes that really is Cameron, and high-tailed it out of there before he’s next on the list. Benson seems to believe the latter, and he tells Slater: “Get hold of Duke, quick…”

It is evening, and Cook is seated in his office chair with the lights in the office completely dimmed. He walks over to the window and peers out through the blinds in time to glance a menacing-looking man coming across the street and making tracks toward his building. Then he looks off to the left and spies a second man who proceeds to do the same. Cook looks around nervously, and then goes over to the telephone:

COOK: Hello…is Mr. O’Hara back?
FEMALE VOICE: Oh, Mr. Cook…Mr. O’Hara called in just after you hung up…I gave him your message and he’s on his way there…
COOK: Thanks…

After finishing his conversation, Cook then walks over to his office door and locks it, returns to his desk and pulls out his Dictaphone…two sinister shadows can be scene outside the door…

COOK: Attention, Special Agent O’Hara…this is R.J. Cook speaking… (There is a knock on the door, and Cook begins to speak loudly and rapidly into the machine) It is my belief that Murkland has had his face altered by plastic surgery…and has taken the place of the Police Commissioner…the real commissioner…Cameron… (Sound of glass breaking) is a prisoner at Benson’s… (A shot rings out, mortally wounding Cook) Sanitarium… (He drops the Dictaphone’s receiver and slumps to the floor)

The two men, Graham (Drew Allen) and Hodge (Carey Loftin), enter the office and decide it’s vital to take the Dictaphone record and break it, since its contents have enough evidence “to hang us all.” But not so fast, my fine-feathered thugs—O’Hara and Francis Blake have arrived on the scene just in the nick of time! O’Hara fires a shot at one of them, and that signals that it’s balsa-smashing time! During the melee, one of the goons managed to beat a hasty retreat, but Francis is able to shoot his partner before he puts any holes in Ted:

O’HARA: Nice shooting, Sergeant…
BLAKE: Yes, but the record’s smashed…
O’HARA: Maybe not beyond fixing…gather up the pieces while I call the Commissioner…

No, no, no, no! That is the last thing you want to do, you doody head! Sure as you’re born, O’Hara tells the faux Cameron the whole story:

MURKLAND: Did Cook have a chance to talk before he died?
O’HARA: He apparently made a statement on a Dictaphone dictating machine…the record’s broken, but I think I can piece it together…
MURKLAND: Okay…I’ll send over the coroner and a couple of boys from the homicide squad right away…
O’HARA: Very good, Commissioner…

You know, Ted…you can save the taxpayers a little spare change by just handing the damn record to Murkland and let him do a flamenco dance on what’s left…idiot…meanwhile, Francis has gathered up what pieces she was able to find and Ted tells her to go down to the drugstore to pick up some “strong, quick-drying cement…Duffy’s Plastic Cement, if they have it.” (I’ll bet the Duffy’s people were happy to get the plug.) There is a dissolve, as O’Hara is putting the finishing touches on his project, he’s approached by Steele (Robert J. Wilke), one of the boys from the “homicide squad” sent over by Murkland:

STEELE: I’m afraid our fingerprinting won’t do any good, Mr. O’Hara…Graham’s escaped and the other fellow is in the morgue…
O’HARA: If this recording is what I think it is, you’ll nab Murkland without the need for fingerprints…
STEELE: Think you’ll be able to play that thing when you get it finished?
O’HARA: I may have to help it over the rough spots…but I think it will play…

During this conversation, O’Hara and Blake are completely unaware that Steele’s fellow “detective” (John Crawford), is working away on the Dictaphone…planting a little booby-trap for our hero and heroine. His labors complete, O’Hara gets ready to listen to the record (meanwhile, the two phony cops lam out of the room with a phony excuse about having to rush the fingerprints to the office). Because of the record’s battered condition, O’Hara has to constantly start and stop the recording…while inside the Dictaphone a fuse is rapidly burning away, leading to a tremendous explosion…

Next Saturday, Chapter Six: Marked Evidence!

G-Men Never Forget (1948) – Chapter 4: Shipyard Saboteurs

OUR STORY SO FAR: Vic Murkland (Roy Barcroft)—racketeer and beneficiary of illegal HBO and Showtime—has escaped from a not-so-maximum security prison and has laid siege to an unnamed burg by trying to shakedown big bidness tycoon R.J. Cook (Edmund Cobb) with pranks like detonating a tunnel and burning down housing projects. He is able to get away with such misdeeds thanks to a presidential pardon Robert “Doc” Benson (Stanley Price), graduate of the Copacabana School of Medicine, who has applied plastic surgery to Murkland’s features and transformed him into the spitting image of Police Commissioner Angus Cameron (also played by Barcroft).

Trying to put the kibosh on Murkland’s reign of terror is Special Agent Ted O’Hara (Clayton Moore) who, without his faithful Indian sidekick, is pretty much playing it by ear…though he does have the assistance of Sergeant Francis Blake (Ramsay Ames), smokin’ hot policewoman and recipient of O’Hara all-too-transparent passes. In our last chapter, it would appear that O’Hara is endanger of having to try one of the local escort services since Francis is trapped in the back of a truck that’s about to go careening off a cliff…

As O’Hara continually fires upon the vehicle being driven by Duke Graham (Drew Allen) in a desperate attempt to escape the long arm of the law, Francis has managed to break the back windows of the truck and attach a rope (don’t ask me where she got it, maybe it was in her handbag) to the truck’s doors. Then—follow me now—at the moment when Duke leaps out of the truck to avoid going over the cliff and ending up as spam in a can; Blake throws the other end of the rope, perfectly looping it over the guard rail in order that the oncoming slack will pull both doors off. Then…she calmly walks out of the back before it takes that header over the cliff, just like she was disembarking a plane. (Honest to my grandma, you have to see it to believe it.) O’Hara pulls up in a car and brings her to her feet—she seems perfectly okay, needing neither Bactene nor Band-Aid.

Back at Doc Benson’s Sanitarium and House O’Waffles, Duke begins to pace the floor while Doc is working (“Siddown, you’re botherin’ me”) and then we witness something rare in a Republic serial: a nice little arty camera pan that winds up with the camera behind Benson’s back in order to focus on the door to his office, which opens and deposits Murkland:

GRAHAM: Hey, Chief—O’Hara and that female copper got away with the Cook payroll…

MURKLAND: I know it; O’Hara called me…gimme a cigarette…

GRAHAM: Since O’Hara’s on this case, Cook’s getting all the breaks…

MURKLAND: Yeah? We’re not through with Cook yet…we’re gonna sell him our protection insurance one way or another…when he pays off, we’ll be able to crack every merchant in town…

GRAHAM: Sounds good, Chief—what are you cooking up for Cook? Get it? What are you cooking up for Cook?

If I were Murkland, I’d-a shot him for that atrocious pun. But Murkland’s just come back from burning down an orphanage, so he’s in a pretty upbeat mood.

MURKLAND: Yeah, I get it…I want you to wait here…O’Hara’s bringing the money over to my office…and I’ll send it over to Cook by messenger…

GRAHAM: So…I do a little hi-jackin’, huh?

MURKLAND: That’s the general idea…I’ll call you as soon as O’Hara leaves my office…

In Commissioner Cameron’s office, Mr. Murkland. Leave us not start getting the big head here. Anyway, O’Hara and Blake are waiting for the faux Commissioner, with Francis pausing to primp in her hand mirror:

MURKLAND: It was good work…Cook will certainly be happy to get his money back…

O’HARA: Yes, but I’d feel a lot better if we had gotten a lead to Murkland…

Ted’s a glass half-empty kind of a guy. Besides, he’s standing right in front of you, idiot…how’s that for a lead?

MURKLAND: He does seem to have a perfect hideout, doesn’t he?

O’HARA: Well…clever at least…

BLAKE: Are you sure Murkland’s in the city? Perhaps he’s directing his gang by long distance…

MURKLAND: I believe you’ve got something there… (To O’Hara) You may be in the wrong town…

O’HARA: It’s a possibility, but…I don’t think that’s the answer…Murkland would almost have to be here…he works too fast to be out of town…

Ted says this line about working fast to Francis…make of it what you will.

O’HARA: …besides, he’s getting information about my moves…

Oh…I think everyone’s pretty much subscribed to that newsletter, Teddy.

BLAKE: Are you suggesting that there’s a leak in the police department?

O’HARA: No, but…again, that’s a possibility, too…

Tonto say: “Kemosabe just going through the motions here.” O’Hara suspects that the inside man might be in Cook’s employ, and he plans to pursue that angle when delivering the recovered payroll to his office. Francis is also curious about the connection to Fiddler’s car lot, so Ted suggests they pay him a visit, too, after dropping off the money. After the super cops leave the office, Murkland places a call to Benson at the sanitarium, bringing him up to speed and telling him that the previous plans will have to be changed since O’Hara’s volunteered to return the payroll. He also issues orders that Duke is to hie himself to the car lot and help Fiddler “clear out.”

At Fiddler’s Best Cars, Duke and Fiddler are carrying several Post Office-type buckets of files out to a parked truck—who would have thought racketeering required so much paperwork? Ted and Francis are seen pulling up:

FIDDLER (to Duke): Hey! Here come those nosy coppers!

GRAHAM: Get in back of the building…

O’Hara, having spotted Fiddler, yells after him…prompting Duke and Fiddler to greet their police pal with a round of gunfire. It soon becomes apparent that not one of the four individuals involved in this exchange of bullets can hit the broadside of a barn:

BLAKE: You think we can flank them?

O’HARA (looking around) Can you run a dump truck?

BLAKE: Yes, I think so…why?

Maybe it’s just me, but in a situation like this I’d want someone just a little more positive that they can operate heavy machinery.

O’HARA: Climb in and raise the body…then back up toward the shack…I’ll cover you…let’s go!

Oh, marvelous…neither of you can qualify on the shooting range, and yet you pick this point in the narrative to try something fancy. (Bring on the stuntwoman!) Francis climbs into the cab and soon has that truck working like she was a member of Local 645, using the raised back of the truck as a shield as they back up toward the two men. In the melee, Fiddler is shot and killed…so naturally, the ever-loyal Duke gets the hell out of Dodge by running, hopping a small fence, and making himself scarce:

O’HARA: That did it, Francis…let’s see what they were up to…

(Both of them meander towards Duke’s truck and examine the papers piled up in the back…)

BLAKE: It looks as if they were getting ready to clear out…

O’HARA: These records might be a tip off to Murkland…let’s take ‘em to my apartment…

It all comes back to your apartment, doesn’t it, big fella… Dissolve to O’Hara’s apartment, where Francis makes an unusual discovery:

BLAKE (glancing at a document): Another bill for gas and oil… (She picks up a large notepad) They were even saving blank paper…

O’HARA: Wait a minute… (He examines the pad) Odd that this should be on a used car lot…

BLAKE: What is it?

O’HARA: A transparency pad…you know, the kind you draw on and then have blueprinted…

BLAKE (looking it over): There aren’t any drawings on here…

O’HARA: No, but there was some sort of drawing on the sheet before this one…see, you can just make out the lines…

BLAKE: Probably a new engine or something…

O’HARA: We’ll find out…

Ted’s going to play Mr. Wizard again, but instead of setting fire to dollhouses he sprinkles a black, powdery substance on the pad of paper and then brushes the excess off:

BLAKE (reading out loud): Starboard…midsection…super structure…hanger plate…sounds like part of a ship…

O’HARA: It is…

BLAKE: What interest could Murkland have in shipbuilding?

O’HARA: Cook builds ships, and Murkland’s concentrating on them…we’ll take this to Cook’s office and see what goes…

Cut to R.J. Cook Enterprises. Cook, having been presented the document, searches for and finds a blueprint in a file cabinet and pronounces it an exact match. He explains to Ted and Francis that his ships are built in sections, and from the evidence presented Ted concludes that Murkland is planning to sabotage Cook’s shipyards by subtly changing the specifications on the blueprints. That’s when Cook drops the bombshell that the next ship is due to be assembled…that afternoon. (I hate when that happens.) Since they only have a half-hour, O’Hara tries to contact the shipyard’s superintendent by phone, but the operator informs them there’s no answer. Handing the phone to Francis, he urges her to “Keep trying…if you get through to the shipyard, stop everything til’ you hear from me.” Taking his leave, he tells Cook: “I’ll get out there and see if I can stop them before they hoist that super structure.”

Ted races to the shipyards like a Domino’s Pizza driver, squealing his tires at every opportunity. He arrives in the nick of time, and orders the foreman (Matty Roubert) to stop the super structure from being set. The foreman phones in the request…but suddenly slumps to the floor when shots ring out…and a swish pan reveals the gunman to be none other than Duke “Good to his mother” Graham:

GRAHAM: Relax, O’Hara…you’re going to see Cook’s toy go boom…

Well, we’ve managed to get this far into this chapter without allowing the stuntmen to get in a good workout, so O’Hara picks up a roll of blueprint and heaves it at Duke, which means the leaping and smashing of balsa wood will now commence. O’Hara overcomes his opponent in the struggle—and races outside where a crane starts to lower the super structure…

Next Saturday, Chapter Five: The Dead Man Speaks!

G-Men Never Forget (1948) – Chapter 3: Code Six Four Five

OUR STORY SO FAR: Evildoer Vic Murkland (Roy Barcroft) has escaped from prison and returned to his lucrative former career as a criminal mastermind, with plans to resurrect an insurance racket that will make him the envy of any investor out to make a quick buck with some lame Ponzi scheme. (Seriously, this guy has a finger in every pie…including lemonade stands and Girl Scout cookies.) His success depends on a little nip-and-tuck performed upon him by the dubious plastic surgeon Robert “Doc” Benson (Stanley Price)—who has given Murkland a celebrity makeover so as to be a dead ringer for Police Commissioner Angus Cameron…Murkland’s even got the voice and mannerisms down to a T! (This is easily explained by the fact that the same actor plays both roles…so pretend you don’t notice.)

Special Agent Ted O’Hara (Clayton Moore) has been assigned to recapture Murkland and though it is known throughout the length and longth of these United States that O’Hara led the fight for law and order in the early West, he’s been completely fooled by Murkland’s deception—as has his assistant, Francis Blake (Ramsay Ames), who’s in this serial for those people who don’t like Clayton Moore. When we last checked in on our hero O’Hara, he had confronted two members of the arson gang responsible for the destruction of numerous buildings in the city and fought them to a standstill. In other words, he’s lying unconscious in the back of an out-of-control truck that’s about to meet head-on with an electrical transformer…

Thanks to some judicious editing by Cliff Bell, Sr. and Sam Starr (they’re the ones responsible for the cheat cliffhangers in this opus) in Chapter 2, the surprise that Ted O’Hara jumped out of the truck just in the nick of time was not spoiled for us in this chapter. It does come as bit of a shock for Murkland, however—in his guise as Commissioner Cameron, he gets an early morning briefing from his pencil-pushing lackey, Det. Hayden (Doug Aylesworth):

HAYDEN: O’Hara called, just a few minutes ago…
MURKLAND: Yes?
HAYDEN: He got to the bottom of that sabotage racket…
MURKLAND: You mean the G.I. housing project?
HAYDEN: That’s right, sir…
MURKLAND (without enthusiasm): Glad to hear that…any details?
HAYDEN: No—but he said he’d report in later…and that he and Sergeant Blake are on their way over to Cook’s to get some data on that truck driver and his helper…
MURKLAND: Very good…
HAYDEN: Oh, by the way…that 645 shipment goes today…
MURKLAND: 645?
HAYDEN: Say…this Murkland business is really getting you down, isn’t it? That’s the Cook payroll shipment, for which you made the arrangements…

Grab him, Hayden! He’s just let his guard down! It’s not Cameron, it’s Vic Murkland! Get to a phone! Get some help! Get…oh, what’s the use…face it, pal…you’re always going to be just another faceless bureaucrat trapped behind a desk…idiot…

MURKLAND: Oh, of course, Hayden…I almost forgot…thanks for reminding me, I’ll take care of it…
HAYDEN: Very well, sir…

As Hayden continues on in his blissful ignorance, Murkland ponders the weight of his words (“645,” he mutters to himself…although those are really numbers rather than words) and then reaches ominously for the phone. Truth be told, I kind of like how the writers of this serial don’t subject us to an unnecessary rehash and instead just have the camera fade out as Murkland makes his call. (Then again, these subsequent chapters are only thirteen minutes long—they gotta trim the fat somewhere.)

Meanwhile, Agent O’Hara is having a chinwag with R.L. Cook (Edmund Cobb), the big bidness tycoon that Murkland and his racketeers have been trying to shake down:

O’HARA: So, obviously, the lumber was treated with pyroxene en route to the building site…
COOK: Amazing…
O’HARA: With extra guards put on the trucks, Mr. Cook, you won’t have any more interference with your G.I. home construction…
COOK: Feels good to know that Murkland will be off my neck for a while…
(The door opens, and Sergeant Francis Blake enters the room…)
BLAKE (handing O’Hara some papers) Here are the personnel cards on those two men…Parker was the driver, and his helper was Brent…
O’HARA: Hmm…only on the job two weeks…
COOK: A little sketchy…
O’HARA: …but it could cut a wedge in the Murkland gang…
COOK: A deep one, I hope…
O’HARA: That depends on what we can find out from these...
COOK: Good luck…
O’HARA (to Francis): It’ll save time if you check on Brent…
FRANCIS: A pleasure…
O’HARA: …and we’ll meet back at my place after I comb through Parker’s apartment…

"In addition to combing my hair." Ted…you hound! I know what you’re up to…soft lights…music…a bottle of wine…some Cheerios…you’ll sweep that gal off her feet before this chapter play is over, I’m betting. But enough of the foreplay—the scene now switches to Benson’s Sanitarium, where kindly old Doc Benson has just finished administering a little drug to force Commissioner Cameron to spill the beans about “645.” Meanwhile, the faux Cameron (Murkland) drops in for some cakes and tea:

MURKLAND: How is he, okay?
BENSON: Sure…
MURKLAND (after an awkward pause): Well, let’s have it!
GRAHAM: The Doc sure made him talk…
MURKLAND What’s this 645?
BENSON: The night payroll of the Cook shipyards…
GRAHAM: Big stuff…that 645 is code for the time the payroll leaves Cook’s office…
MURKLAND: Hunh…and the Commissioner’s office selects the guard…
GRAHAM: Better yet…the job is handled by just a single plainclothes man…so that he won’t attract any attention…
MURKLAND: Good deal…that ought to make it a cinch for you to knock over by yourself…

Um…I don’t like to mention this, seeing that Graham (Drew Allen) is up for a pay raise with his performance review and all, but his recent work of late hasn’t quite measured up to what we generally expect of henchmen at Murkland Enterprises…

MURKLAND: You send those guys over to Parker’s apartment?
GRAHAM: Yeah…O’Hara won’t find a thing when he gets there…

We are then taken to a shabby apartment, where two thugs (David Sharpe, George Magrill) are rifling through Mr. Parker’s personal effects—unaware that our man O’Hara has arrived on the scene. When Ted pulls a gun on one of them (he’s starting a nice little blaze in the wastebasket), he’s jumped from behind and the balsa wood smashing melee begins. (And since ace stuntman Sharpe is in on it, you can bet it’ll be dan-dan-dandy—particularly when he smashes a bit of crockery over Moore’s cranium and the daring and resourceful Masked Rider of the Plains falls to the ground like a sack of potatoes.)

TRENT: Say, you know who this guy is?
STALEY (rubbing his jaw): If he was a little heavier, he could be Joe Louis…
TRENT: It’s O’Hara…special agent…
STALEY: Ooooh…the big guy…

The two men truss O’Hara up like a roped calf with the cord from the window shades and Trent decides to contact Murkland personally to let him know they’ve captured “the big guy.” He leaves Staley in charge and exits the apartment while O’Hara furiously attempts to free himself from his bonds. To add insult to injury, Staley goes to the kitchen and makes himself a big honkin’ salami sandwich…and doesn’t even offer his guest a thing. (Miss Manners will be hearing of this in the morning, I assure you.)

Hours later, Cook is carefully counting out the payroll in his office as his secretary watches, and when that task is completed he instructs her to have the messenger sign the receipt. A dissolve then shows the messenger leaving the building, where he is hit from behind by Duke Graham, claiming the bag of cash for Murkland and the evil for which he stands. A car pulls up and Duke gets inside (the messenger, who’s finally gotten to his feet, fires a gun in the direction of the departing vehicle but to no avail), bestowing upon yours truly a generous helping of egg on my face (I honestly thought he’d end up screwing the pooch on this one).

Back at the apartment, O’Hara has finally managed to free himself—and he rolls across the floor to where Staley is seated, who’s just lit up another Lucky Strike (it’s light-up time) and is now going to have to snuff it for the duration of another scuffle. (And it’s really not much of a scuffle at that; O’Hara decks him with one punch.) O’Hara makes tracks…but not before making certain he’s got his hat. (It’s important to accessorize.)

Another dissolve shows O’Hara speeding along in the direction of a used car lot run by a lowlife (Eddie Acuff) named “Fiddler,” whose name was dropped by Staley in the conversation between he and Trent when deciding what should be done about O’Hara. Fortunately, Francis has gotten a jump on her partner, as she interrogates the salesman about his association with Brent:

FIDDLER: Brent?
BLAKE: His landlady says he used to work here…
FIDDLER (thinking): Brent…ah, that no-good character…yeah, he used to work here…about two months ago, he walked off the job…and you know what…?
BLAKE: Never mind the details…do you know where he went? Or anything else about him?
FIDDLER: Well, I’ll tell ya… (A car can be heard pulling up) Wait a minute…here comes a guy who knows the dope on him…
(The car comes to a stop, and a passenger gets out. When the car speeds off, the passenger is revealed to be Duke Graham…)
BLAKE (walking over to Duke with her gun drawn): This is a pleasant surprise…
(It’s a surprise, all right…but not too pleasant for Francis—she’s hit from behind by Fiddler…)
FIDDLER: I’m glad you showed up in time…this copper was asking a lot of questions about Brent…
GRAHAM: Anything else?
FIDDLER: No…
GRAHAM: Good…
FIDDLER: What’re we gonna do with her?
GRAHAM (thinking for a moment): Help me get her into that truck…
FIDDLER: Right!

The two men drag Francis’ lovely carcass into the back of the truck but in the distance, our main man O’Hara is speeding towards the car lot. He arrives just as the truck is driving off and, spotting Graham at the wheel begins pursuit. In the ensuing chase, both men fire back-and-forth at one another and the noise brings Frances to…but when O’Hara hits one of the truck’s tires, Duke decides it’s time to bail out—and Frances, unable to open the back doors, appears to have headed off a cliff to her doom…

Next Saturday, Chapter Four: Shipyard Saboteurs!

G-Men Never Forget (1948) – Chapter 2: 100,000 Volts

Our Story So Far: Vic Murkland (Roy Barcroft), criminal mastermind and an unpleasant person to be around in general, escapes the lax security of a penitentiary and makes his getaway to freedom…though forced to jettison his right-hand-man, Duke Graham (Drew Allen) in the attempt. Murkland arrives at his hideout, the sanitarium of Robert “Doc” Benson (Stanley Price), a medico of dubious degree who is able to use the plastic surgery techniques he learned via a correspondence course to change Murkland’s facial features into those of Commissioner Angus Cameron (also Barcroft), allowing them to put the snatch on Cameron and allow Murkland to impersonate him in his place.

Cameron, before his kidnapping, was fortunate in that he enlisted the aid of Special Agent Ted O’Hara (Clayton Moore), a gung-ho all-American who doesn’t drink, smoke or chew…but does have an eye for the females (known in criminal jurisprudence as “cherchez la femme”), enlisting the help of Detective Sergeant Francis Blake (Ramsay Ames). These two law enforcement professionals, unaware of Murkland’s deception, must combine their talents into taking down the powerful master criminal—otherwise, civilization as we know it will come to an end! (Well, okay…maybe it’s not all that bad. But it will provide twelve chapters of spills, thrills and chills.)

When we last looked in on the exploits of Agent Ted O’Hara, he had learned of Murkland’s attempt to destroy the brand-spanking new Channel Island Tunnel and was racing to prevent its destruction. Unfortunately, some careless individual—the kind of person who has to spoil a good time for everybody—set off dynamite in the tunnel, producing a rather wet torrent of water that threatens to engulf our hero before this darn cliffhanger even gets off the ground. But in the nick of time, O’Hara, astride his great horse Silver stolen motorcycle, escapes the deluge by closing a set of doors inside the tunnel that I’m pretty sure weren’t present in the previous chapter. This allows O’Hara to save the mayor and city officials who were also in the tunnel…although the loss of a few bureaucrats wouldn’t have been too much of a big deal. Those pinheads are a dime-a-dozen—it’s voters who are irreplaceable.

Meanwhile, back at City Hall:

CAMERON: I’d say Mr. Cook is getting a break with you on the case, O’Hara…your quick thinking and fast action saved the tunnel from complete destruction…
BLAKE: And what’s more important, you saved the lives of a lot of people…
O’HARA: But I didn’t catch Murkland or any of his gang…he’s smart…he has brains…

And he’s sitting right in front of you…idiot…

(Intercom buzzes)
CAMERON: Excuse me… (Presses button) Yes?
VOICE: Mr. Cook’s on the phone…
(Cameron hands the receiver extension to Ted, and then answers with the other)
CAMERON: Hello, Cook?
COOK: Cameron…I just received another extortion demand from the Murkland gang…they threaten my G.I. housing plan…
CAMERON: Surely you’re not going to pay off?
COOK: Certainly not…but you must put more men to guard my various construction jobs…
CAMERON: I’ll give you every available man in my department…right…goodbye… (Hanging up the phone, to O’Hara) What do you suggest?
O’HARA: First, I’ll check on all of Cook’s construction jobs to see where they’re vulnerable…
BLAKE: Do you want me to help?
O’HARA: Good idea! Let’s go…

Boy, he just made Frances’ day…he’s finally accepted her as a colleague, and not just some lovely who looks quite fetching disguised as a moll (see last chapter). As they leave the office, Cameron pulls out a match and begins chewing on one end—which is Vic Murkland’s trademark OCD calling card! He places a call to the sanitarium, where Benson, Graham and Slater are cooling their heels with the real Cameron:

BENSON: Benson Sanitarium…
MURKLAND: Murkland speaking…
BENSON: Oh, I’m glad you called…Commissioner Cameron has gone on a hunger strike…

Let my people go!

BENSON: Duke wants to bump him…
MURKLAND: No! Certainly not! We’ve got to save him to take the rap when I finish my impersonation of him…

He’ll just be thinner, that’s all…

MURKLAND: If he gets too weak, feed him by force…
BENSON: Okay, boss… (To Slater) Take him away!
MURKLAND: Put Duke on…
BENSON: Duke…
(As Slater wheels Cameron out of the room, Duke grasps the phone receiver…)
GRAHAM: Yeah, Chief…
MURKLAND: I’ve got a little job for you, Duke…Cook just called and won’t buy our protection…put the heat on him…
GRAHAM: Right…I’m on my way… (To Benson) This is gonna hurt Cook more than it does me…

We are then treated to a montage of an unknown hand breaking the glass on a fire alarm and pressing the button, followed by a newspaper headline that screams: COOK BUILDING BURNS (and that’s followed by firemen sliding down a fire pole and getting into trucks, to make sure the slower people in the audience keep up). Another headline follows: MANY LOSE LIVES IN FIRE! There is then a shot of O’Hara and Blake driving furiously behind fire trucks, and another headline reads: TENTH MYSTERIOUS FIRE! (I don’t want to say anything before all the facts are in…but I suspect Duke meant something with that “gonna hurt Cook more than it does me” crack.)

We then cut to a scene where Frances is unwrapping what appears to be a dollhouse. She says to O’Hara: “Well, here’s your dollhouse…but what you want with it I can’t imagine.” I also refuse to comment further—but all seriousness aside, O’Hara plans to use it a tool of study as to what caused the ten previous fires:

O’HARA: …if my analysis is correct, the Murkland gang is using pyroxene to start the fires at the Cook Enterprises…
BLAKE: Pyroxene! I’ve heard of that!

Oh, you have not…you’re just grasping onto any explanation that will wipe away the realization your boyfriend plays with dollhouses, you silly bimbo.

O’HARA: It’s safe in a liquid form…but highly inflammable when dry…I believe they spray it on…and when it becomes thoroughly dry it bursts into flames…

You’re thinking of the Pyroxene that comes in an aerosol…Pyroxene Roll-On not only goes on dry, but it’s strong enough for a woman.

O’HARA: The heat generated is so tremendous that it destroys everything in its area…understand?
BLAKE: Now I see the why of the dollhouse…well, if I have to wait twenty-four hours for results I may just as well be comfortable…
O’HARA: Hardly so long as that…wait and see…

O’Hara drags over a floor lamp and shines it on the dollhouse, explaining that he only used a little pyroxene and that the heat from the lamp should dry it out quickly. No sooner has this sentence come out of his mouth when the dollhouse goes up in flames as if it had been napalmed:

BLAKE: Your analysis was right…that pyroxene is dangerous stuff…
O’HARA: It sure is… (He throws a blanket over the dollhouse to squelch the flames) So dangerous it can only be sold by a government-bonded company…
BLAKE: That would be the Cornwall Chemical Company on the other side of town…they’re the only company operating under government bond…

Don’t tell me you had that memorized…

O’HARA: All right, have the Commissioner put a stop order on the pyroxene shipment…and tell him I’m on my way to the Cornwall Chemical Company…

Send me my mail there! Ted, upstanding Boy-Scout-of-a-guy that he is, doesn’t realize that the Commissioner is in fact his nemesis Vic Murkland. So when he arrives at the C.C.C. and finds Duke outside loading up with plenty o’pyroxene, a chase naturally ensues. As both Ted and Duke are putting the pedal to the metal, Duke spots a freight train racing beside him and…well, you know how henchmen are. Duke easily eludes Ted, who in playing “chicken” with the locomotive stops just in the nick of time…and losing his prey in the process.

O’Hara and Blake wind up in the office of R.J. Cook (Edmund Cobb), and O’Hara explains to him what’s been going down:

O’HARA: …and you see, Mr. Cook—by spraying pyroxene onto the lumber before it went into the building, they didn’t have to be on the job to start the fire…
COOK: I wonder if all the lumber in my yard has been treated that way…
O’HARA: No, or it would have gone up in smoke before now…I’m certain they treat the lumber after it leaves the yard and before it reaches the job…
BLAKE: That must mean that some of your drivers are selling out…
O’HARA: Obviously…and now to prove we’re right—Mr. Cook, your yard runs a night shift, doesn’t it?
COOK: Yes…

“Although from what you’ve told me, I intend to keep those kids out of my yard from now on…”

O’HARA: Well, Sergeant Blake and myself will take the night guard’s place on the Allen Street job…now tonight, when the lumber is delivered…

Fade to night, and a building with a sign that reads: “Allen Street Development.” Though Ted and Frances have made no attempt to disguise themselves as workers, they’re just officious enough to stop a truck that’s carrying a load of lumber and has just been driven into the yard. Two hoodlums get out the vehicle, and O’Hara says to one of them: “Just a minute, men…I want to inspect that load of lumber.”

“Hop to it, brother—nobody’s stopping you,” returns one of them, a tall, lanky individual who should be instantly recognizable as Tom Steele, ace stuntman and Republic extra who makes the first of his three appearances in G-Men Never Forget. In the Balcony’s Laughing Gravy has devised the perfect drinking game that involves Steele and his serial appearances: “…pour yourself a shot and down it every time stuntman Tom Steele shows up as a different character. Down two shots every time he’s wearing a silly moustache.” In G-Men, however, you’ll be snockered much faster if you use the other goon with Steele, stuntman Dale Van Sickel, as your focal point—he plays five different henchmen in this one.

Anyway, O’Hara cuts some sample fragments from the lumber and then takes them over to his Junior Chemistry Set—where, after dousing them with a combination of chemicals, turns to Blake and seriously intones: “It’s a positive test, Frances.” (I sorta get the feeling that’s not the first time she’s heard that—rimshot!) Ted tells the two men that they’re under arrest for attempted arson, and Van Sickel decks him, sending him to the ground. Frances scoops up O’Hara’s gun and fires after the fleeing arsonists, who, cut off from their ride, attempt to start a second truck in order to take it on the lam. Frances brings Ted to, and as the two goons ride off, Ted climbs onto the back of the truck, determined not to let them get away. Finding Steele in the back, O’Hara engages in a rigorous series of fisticuffs while Van Sickel drives on—but in fighting for O’Hara’s gun, the firearm goes off and kills Van Sickel, who slumps over in the driver’s seat, his foot causing the truck to careen off the main drag. The truck is headed for a barbed wire fence on which hangs a sign that reads: DANGER – KEEP OUT – 100,000 VOLTS. (The fence surrounds a series of electrical transformers.) Stuntman Steele flees out of the back of the truck to escape being barbecued…but O’Hara is not so lucky…

Next Saturday, Chapter Three: Code Six Four Five!