KenBerry, R.F.D.

Back in April, my good friend Rick Brooks wrote a blog post entitled “The enigma that is Ken Berry”—a tongue-in-cheek musing about how the celebrated television personality “was all over the tube when I was growing up.” Special attention was given to his co-star status on the sitcom Mama’s Family, as well as his guest appearances (Rick counted seven in total) on Fantasy Island.

When I was a mere sprat, F Troop and Mayberry R.F.D. were the two television series that allowed Mr. Berry to display his formidable acting and comedic prowess—and maybe the occasional singing-and-dancing guest appearance on The Carol Burnett Show, which was responsible for his landing the Mama’s Family gig. He was a fixture on several other shows that have since fallen by the wayside: he was Woody on The Ann Sothern Show, Lt. Melton on the short-lived sitcom Ensign O’Toole and Dr. Kapish on the TV version of Dr. Kildare. He even got the opportunity to headline his own series—The Ken Berry ‘Wow’ Show, which I would write about at length were it not for the fact that I don’t remember a damn thing about watching it.

I’ve mentioned in the past that I’m a big fan of F Troop—I’ve seen all sixty-five episodes, due to the fact that Warner Home Video was good enough to release the entire run of the series to DVD. But I’ll be damned if I can remember anything about Mayberry R.F.D. other than the opening credits, in which Berry plays catch with his TV son (Buddy Foster) to the strains of “The Mayberry March”…and the little bastard ends up breaking a window in some storage shed, much to Berry’s chagrin.

“Why do you care about Mayberry R.F.D.?” I’m certain you’re asking at this point—and to be honest, I’m not entirely positive I know myself. If I had to hazard a guess, it’s because that with The Andy Griffith Show and Gomer Pyle, USMC available on DVD, the third series in the “Mayberry” trilogy—R.F.D.—is clearly due for a disc debut as well. But with WHV’s reluctance to release their classic television backlog to DVD (let’s face it—if you owned the rights to series like 77 Sunset Strip or Maverick…would you sit on your hands and let them languish in the vaults?) it looks as if we’ll be old-and-grey before we get access to the show that chronicled what life was like in that famed sleepy North Carolina town once Sheriff Andy Taylor and his new bride Helen (nee Crump) made tracks for greener pastures in Charlotte. (According to the entry for Mayberry R.F.D. on Wikipedia, the show ranks seventh among those series copied from the networks and resold as “rootpeg” DVDs.)

And besides that, I’m looking for a weekly project to embark upon…and watching the entirety of R.F.D. is as good a prospect as any. (Yes, I’m one of those individuals who owns the seventh-ranked show on discs…are you happy that you shamed it out of me?) You have to admit—“Mayberry Mondays” is pretty catchy, alliteration-wise. So consider this the inaugural Mayberry Mondays post…but before we start shoving the show into the DVD player, a little history is in order…

In television history, only three sitcoms—I Love Lucy, The Andy Griffith Show and Seinfeld—finished their final seasons on the air ranked #1 in the ratings for the entire season. As to why Lucy and Seinfeld were still phenomenally popular as they were taking their final bows—well, those are posts for another day (though I wouldn’t hold my breath). Our concern is for The Andy Griffith Show—how did a series that had a phenomenal eight-year run on the air chart its biggest ratings numbers during what would ultimately become its seasonal swan song?

This question is even more intriguing when you stop to consider that if you were poll any fan of Griffith, dollars to donuts would say that they would consider the early black-and-white shows (particularly those co-starring Don Knotts) the peak of the series’ output. The Andy Griffith Show, which debuted over CBS-TV in 1960, was a character-based situation comedy that celebrated small-town life and mined big laughs by having its star play straight man to a hamlet populated by zanies. By 1967, Griffith had become a completely different series—a show that eschewed its broad, farcical beginnings (the Barney Fife years) in lieu of a dry, quirkier humor not unlike that of the radio classic Vic & Sade.

Even the main character of Sheriff Andy Taylor had changed dramatically. In the earlier years of the show, he was a man constantly bemused by the peccadilloes and eccentricities of his town’s admittedly off-the-wall inhabitants. But when the series switched to color, he began to morph into a carbon copy of Oliver Wendell Douglas of Green Acres fame—a man frustrated and visibly annoyed by the zanies in Mayberry (though considerably more subdued than his Acres counterpart). It’s been suggested that a lot of this had to do with star Griffith’s disenchantment with the series and wanting out—but whatever the case, it didn’t do the show any favors. Sheriff Taylor had become the town’s most notorious grouch.

I’ve spent the past few days watching every single episode of The Andy Griffith Show’s final season, thinking that maybe I could delineate something in the shows that would explain the top-ranked popularity it enjoyed as it was ringing down the final curtain. But I’ve come up with bupkis. I’ll be the first to say, of course, that the show was still funny—episodes like “Howard the Bowler,” “The Mayberry Chef,” “Opie’s Drugstore Job,” “Goober Goes to an Auto Show” and “Helen’s Past” can compete with any of the earlier Mayberry classics—and that even though I enjoyed the maturity evident in these later installments, entries that attempt to recapture the flavor of the earlier years, like “Barney Hosts a Summit Meeting,” (the highest-ranked episode in the series’ history) were entertaining as well.

As production on The Andy Griffith Show was winding down, the decision was made to continue on with the good folks in Mayberry despite the star’s clearly-stated intentions to pack it in. So with the 246th episode of the series, “Sam for Town Council” (03/11/68), the groundwork is laid to introduce Griffith’s replacement—Ken Berry, who essays the role of Mayberry citizen/farmer Sam Jones.

“Council” commences with a devastating announcement destined to shake Mayberry’s political landscape, delivered by none other than gas pump jockey Goober Pyle (George Lindsey) himself:

GOOBER: Hey…hey, guess what I just heard…

ANDY: What?

GOOBER: …I’m the first one to know…

HOWARD: Know what?

GOOBER: …he just stopped in for gas and he told me…

ANDY: Who stopped in?

EMMETT: This better be good, the way you’re draggin’ it out…

GOOBER: Herb Bradshaw!

HOWARD: Oh, you mean about him resigning as head of City Council…

GOOBER: Well, how’d you know that?

HOWARD: It was in the paper this morning…

GOOBER: Well, I was the one who got it from him direct…

ANDY: Well, you can’t blame him for moving away…offer like that…head teller of the Raleigh Security Bank…

HOWARD: Yeah…job like that; the world’s your oyster…

ANDY (in agreement): Hmm…

GOOBER: What…?

HOWARD: Just an expression, Goob…

GOOBER: Boy, they’re sure comin’ up with some crazy ones…

Fix-it man Emmett Clark (Paul Hartman) asserts that the departing Bradshaw did a lot for Mayberry, but county clerk Howard Sprague (Jack Dodson) demurs, arguing that the council head practiced the fine art of patronage, parceling out favors to his cronies. Emmett counters that that’s the way the game is played—and when the talk turns as to who will replace Herb, he begins to have visions of a political career…so much so that he announces to Andy, Goober and Howard his intentions of running to fill Herb’s vacancy. “I think it’s a man’s duty to serve when he’s called, “ Emmett explains. “Well, who called you?” is Goober’s queried response.

The reaction to Emmett’s decision to run as head of city council amongst his friends is—well, “measured” would be a slight understatement. Actually, it’s “kind of frightening,” in Andy’s opinion—the sheriff opines that Emmett lacks experience, but this could just be a tactful way of expressing that Emmett is a complete doofus and that city government is the last place he should be. (Not that that ever stops anybody in real life.) The three men decide to “caucus” at Andy’s house later that evening to find a candidate that can beat Emmett—and the suggestion that they reach (along with Aunt Bee [Frances Bavier] and Helen [Aneta Corsaut]) is a hero who sneezed and abruptly seized retreat and reversed it to victory…

Whoops! Sorry about that…wrong sitcom:

HOWARD: …I’ve been going over it all morning, and there’s one name that’s a real standout…a man who’s done his share for the community—he’s solid, and a real hard worker…Sam Jones…

GOOBER: Hey!

ANDY: Now Sam Jones is a good idea!

HELEN: Oh, yes…he’s been a big force on the school board!

HOWARD: And he’s always been active in civic affairs…

AUNT BEE: Yes! And I can promise a Garden Club plurality!

GOOBER: He’s a veteran, too—he’s got a sharpshooter’s medal…that ought to draw votes…

He’s a political hack’s dream come true! The only thing that goes unexplained is how this force to be reckoned with has managed to keep such a low profile in Mayberry for so many years. (Had I been scripting this episode, I would’ve gone the route of having the Jones character just arriving in Mayberry and maybe being comically dragooned into running for office.) But there’s no time to assess the logic of this episode—Goober suggests that he and Howard go out to Casa del Jones to soften Sam up, prompting Howard to pontificate: “A certain amount of preconditioning is always a good tactical maneuver.”

“You always gotta change my words, don’t you,” replies Goober, a little hurt.

Goober and Howard begin Operation Soft Soap on Sam, but before they can go in for the kill Andy arrives on the scene to pop the political question. Sam is a bit reluctant at first, but all three men stress that he’s clearly the best candidate for the job…and he finally agrees. Meanwhile, his worthy opponent, Emmett Clark, is in full swing—putting up banners and treating the voters to cookies and lemonade. But when his friends tell him that they’ve recruited Sam to run against him, a rift naturally results…to the point where Emmett puts the kibosh on Goober’s snagging a cookie, informing him: “Those are for my real friends.” “Boy, politics can really get dirty,” returns the Goob.

As the campaign gets underway, it would seem that Emmett has the inside track if only because he’s borrowed a page or two from the Herb Bradshaw playbook by promising favors to potential voters: arranging to have the town’s bus stop moved to outside the diner to beef up the establishment’s business; moving the Cub Scouts meetings back to the school, etc. This “one-hand-washes-the-other” method of campaigning is frustrating for Sam—“That’s the very thing we’re trying to keep out of the government,” he explains to Andy. But as difficult as this effort not to promise the voters anything would be to believe in real life, Sam emerges victorious on election night, trouncing Emmett by 405 votes…and Emmett takes his loss in stride. Unfortunately for Sam, his supporters—Goober, Howard…even Aunt Bee, who tries to bribe him with a homemade pie—begin to hammer him with requests to “do them a solid.”

ANDY: You know, Sam…I’ve been in public office a long time myself, and I’ve been faced with that same problem…and you know what happens to people sometimes, they get confused with the meaning of favoritism…sometimes they think that favoritism is anything somebody else gets…

SAM: Hmm…anything somebody else gets, huh?

ANDY: Yeah…

SAM: Yeah…well, I guess it’s…just going to be part of my job to convince folks that what’s best for all is also best for the individual…

ANDY: I think you can handle that, Sam…

That’s easy for you to say—you’re not replacing the star of a number-one rated situation comedy, law enforcement boy…

The Sam Jones character appears in three additional Andy Griffith Show episodes—the first of these three, “Opie and Mike” (03/18/68), tells the tale of Sam’s young son (the “Mike” of the title) and his subsequent hero-worship of Andy’s son when Opie stops a bully (Russell Shulman) from pummeling young Master Jones at school. “A Girl for Goober” (03/25/68) puts Sam only on the periphery of the plot, choosing to concentrate instead on the hapless auto mechanic and his attempts to romance a female doctor (Nancy Malone) in charge of a computer dating service.

It’s the final episode of The Andy Griffith Show—fittingly titled “Mayberry R.F.D.” (03/25/68)—that allows Sam to grab the baton from Sheriff Andy Taylor and become the focal point of the spin-off to follow. But this pilot—written by Griffith script consultant Bob Ross—spotlights a situation that, curiously enough, is abandoned once the official R.F.D. series gets underway.

The plot revolves around Sam’s old war buddy Mario Vincente (Gabrielle Tinti), whom has been asked by Sam to venture to Mayberry and help out on the vast Jones estate. The wacky complications ensue when Mario invites his affectionate sister Sophia (Letitia Roman) and non-English speaking father (Bruno Della Santina) along for the ride—and it’s not hard to guess what kind of culture-clash craziness erupts from this arrangement (Papa Vincente cracks up the tractor, Sam’s housekeeper [Almira Sessions] ups and quits, etc.). Sam decides to evict the family Vincente from his bucolic environs and banish them to a similar ranch in Mt. Pilot (owned by an Italian family who would provide a more suitable surroundings)—but he becomes overcome with a mixture of emotion and guilt at a town meeting where Mayberry’s denizens are clutching the Vincentes to their communal bosom, and decides that maybe he can make the arrangement work after all.

So does Mayberry R.F.D. become a show in which a North Carolina farmer and his son must bridge the cultural gap between them and an Italian family unaccustomed to small-town ways? No, it does not—the Vincentes disappear before the first official installment of R.F.D. and for all intents and purposes are never heard from again. But the series does manage to tie up an important loose end or two, and when Mayberry Mondays officially begins next week…you’ll understand in more detail my cryptic statement.

Jungle Queen – Chapter 1: Invitation to Danger

I gave the decision on the choice of serial for TDOY’s Serial Saturdays a great deal of consideration, and while I really wanted to go with The Green Hornet (1940), I have acquiesced to longtime reader Phillip Schweier’s request that I wait until he gets a replacement copy from the vendor who sold him a defective disc. So, Phil—you’ve got thirteen weeks to rectify this…and then you’re on your own, pal. Without further ado, I’m pleased to present the 1945 Universal chapter play Jungle Queen (1945), courtesy of VCI Entertainment, which boasts on the DVD’s case cover that it contains “1000 Jungle Terrors!” and “13 Chapters of Savage Thrills!”

As our serial opens, an onscreen title announces that the time is 1939—just before the invasion of Poland and the Second World War. We witness stock footage of Nazis goose-stepping on parade and I just have to say—any serial in which Nazis are the villains usually turns out to be wildly entertaining. An anonymous Nazi official (we see only below the neck) absent-mindedly spins a globe and then asks for a report on Africa. His major domo, identifiable only by his shiny pair of heel-clicking jackboots responds: “From Tambosa…our agents there are still vorking to gain the allegiance of the middle jungle tribes…”

The superior officer has now moved over to his desk, where he has the second-largest ashtray I’ve ever seen and a nifty little Swastika paperweight. He then doodles a skull-and-crossbones on a notepad. (I swear I’m not making any of that up.) “How successfully?”

“Until now, very successfully,” Heel-Clicker answers, “but they are vorried about a rumor concerning a mysterious queen of the jungle…”

What follows is ample stock footage of animals and restless natives, followed by another unknown man taking a cigarette out his case (also with a Swastika; the Nazis must have one hell of a gift shop) and taps it…as he puts it to his mouth, the camera pans up to reveal a sinister looking man (Douglass Dumbrille) who answers to “Lang,” with his faithful native lackey Maati (Napoleon Simpson) at his side…

MAATI: Hear that? We’re nearing Tangara now...

LANG: Does that mean the ceremony’s begun?

MAATI: Not yet, Bwana Lang…but it won’t stop Tonga comes…

LANG: Tonga’s a friend of England…is he also a friend of that mysterious girl you’ve been telling me about?

MAATI: The Tongghili talk about the mystery queen of the jungle…but no one has ever seen her…

LANG: Well, regardless of her, Maati…you want to rule the people of the middle jungle, don’t you?

MAATI: I want to take Tonga’s place…

LANG: That’s why I’m here…to help you get it…

Two minutes and forty-eight seconds into this, and we’ve already got the jungle equivalent of The West Wing. There’s a cut to the ceremony which is already in progress, as the wise and all-knowing ruler Tonga (George Reed) has been asked to pronounce judgment upon a captured prisoner (Ray Turner):

TONGA: Godac (Ivan’s note: The audio on this thing is so muddy I thought he said “Kodak” at first)…why do chiefs from all the tribes stand before me?

GODAC: Tonga…judge of all Tongghili…guardian of the Secret Sword of Tongu…this prisoner is of the Bondo tribe…he murdered a warrior of the Lodo…the chiefs of the two tribes do not agree as to his punishment…

TONGA: Bring the prisoner before me!

Okay, here’s something I didn’t factor in when I said this might turn out to a lot of fun—the natives sound suspiciously like they’d be more at home at a lodge meeting of the Mystic Knights of the Sea…and that can’t be good. Outside the temple, Maati makes his way inside by pulling out a sling and knocking out one of the temple guards. Let’s rejoin Judge Tonga for his verdict in “The Case of the Murdering Bondo”:

NATIVE: …and Tongu, that’s why I killed my enemy…I ask for mercy…

TONGA: Tongu…founder of all our tribes…enforce the laws with this sword (holds up sword)…the laws of Tongu will be obeyed…take the test!

The prisoner is taken to a large door by the two chiefs, and the door is opened to reveal one heck of a barbecue going on. Tonga decrees that if the man is innocent, he will be able to pass through the flames without so much as a third-degree burn…although I’m still a little confused by this, since the guy has already admitted he croaked his enemy. The prisoner bolts into the room, and as the door closes we hear his anguished cries of pain (and I don’t think sunscreen would have helped). “Only the guilty perish,” Tonga intones as if we couldn’t determine the bleeding obvious. At that moment, a hidden Maati hurls a spear at the ruler, shutting off that tap of wisdom for good. It is up to Godac (Clinton Rosemond) to deliver the eulogy for a man who will be missed by his people:

Our judges have lived, ruled and died throughout the many centuries…yet no man before now has raised hand against him…
This stirring speech is cut short by the sound of a gong, which either means it’s time to listen to Lights Out or someone of self-importance has decided to rudely interrupt these proceedings instead of clearing his throat or gently tapping on his drinking glass. No—from out of the flames that previously engulfed the guilty native, a vision of white appears! It is Lothel (Ruth Roman), the titled monarch of this rapidly-getting-silly serial!

KYBA: The mystery queen of the jungle! Why does she come?

LOTHEL (her voice a slight echo): I come to help you…enemies have crept secretly into your middle jungle…unknown enemies…they come from across the wide water…they planned this murder…I am called…Lothel…

Again, the soundtrack on this chapter play is as muddied as America’s Affordable Health Choices Act, but the gist of this boils down to two things—a), Queenie is warning the tribesmen about Lang and the rest of his Nazi posse, and b), always make certain to hire an exterminator when you move into the middle jungle. Godac shakes off this whole Lothel incident by declaring: “I am now your judge…you’re my hunters…bring me the murderer!”

The scene then shifts to beautiful downtown Tambosa, where we witness Lang—who’s not so much the brains of this outfit as its pathetically sniveling Karl Rove sycophant—accompanying his boss, Dr. Elise Bork (Tala Birell) to the office of Commissioner Braham Chatterton (Lester Matthews) and being greeted by Chatterton’s toady Rogers (Cyril Delevanti)—the three of them briefly discuss the circumstances surrounding Tonga’s death (Rogers reveals with a perfectly straight face that they “heard it on the jungle drums”). Lang makes a lame excuse to exit the building (probably needs to oversee some registration activities for the Party) while Bork is entertained by his Commissionership:

CHATTERTON: Did you hear anything in the jungle about Tonga’s assassination?

BORK: Strange story about a mysterious woman…according to the natives, she appeared…walking through the fire, just after the murder…

CHATTERTON (chuckling): You know, that’s one of the most interesting things about Africa…you never know when the truth ends and imagination begins…what did she do?

BORK: Warned the Tongghili about foreigners who come into the middle jungle…

CHATTERTON: Oh, I say, that is serious…know anything else about her?

BORK: Only her name…Lothel…

CHATTERTON: Lothel…is that Tongghili?

BORK: Yes…it means “white butterfly”…

So…apparently Lothel’s folks did a few too many drugs back in the day, and they mistakenly left her behind in Africa during a sabbatical from school. But that’s as may be, because Bork and Chatterton’s conversation is interrupted by the arrival of Rogers, who’s propping up a wounded native who makes this pronouncement:

I…I come…bwana…from the...Tongghili…we…need help…I find...Tonga…killer…Lothel…Lothel…
And having significantly padded his part, he falls to the floor dead. After briefly discussing the significance of this event, Chatterton asks Bork to excuse him as he has important work—and upon her departure:

ROGERS: Why dismiss Dr. Bork, sir? She knows more about these natives than anyone, except Alan Courtney…

CHATTERTON: Dr. Bork isn’t English, Rogers…I wish Courtney were here… (Looking down at the native’s closed hand) Rogers! Look there! That man has a message for us!

Oh, please – I’ve seen too many old movies to know what a stiff-upper-lip like Courtney would do…he’d probably suggest they discuss the matter around a cup of tea. Nevertheless, the scene shifts to London, where we witness a young woman (Lois Collier) enter an impressive-looking house and rap on an inside door. A panel in the door opens up to reveal two men inside, one of which who greets her with “Come in, Miss Courtney…” We soon learn that she is the niece of the much-talked-about Alan, and upon entering the room also discover that there are three men present—one of whom (Lumsden Hare) insists on being referred to as “Mr. X.”

MR. X: Any word from your uncle Alan recently?

PAMELA: No…he never writes when he’s in the middle jungle…

MR. X: I thought he perhaps might have come out since I last heard…

I’m not sure I want to hear where this is going…

MR. X: You’ve been there with him, have you not?
Then again…maybe this won’t be so bad…

PAMELA: Why, yes…yes, of course…for a safari…but you knew about that before…

MR. X: Well, the question’s just for the record, my dear…did you read the report that I sent you about the trouble in the middle jungle?

PAMELA: Yes, I did…but I still can’t understand why the judge of the tribes was murdered…

MR. X: We think we know…but we have to be sure…that’s why we want your uncle to investigate…

PAMELA: I’m afraid the Tongghili would resent interference in native affairs…

MR. X: The native mentioned in the report is the one who died in our commissioner’s office in Tambosa…had this clutched in his hand…

Mr. X passes Pamela a piece of torn clothing label which reads:

Trellows & Co.

Custom Tailors

New York City
Since X and his people have ruled out the possibility that the natives are now using the internets to order custom-made clothing from the U.S., Pamela’s suspicion falls on the Nazis, renowned for their good taste in haberdashery: “Labels don’t always mean what they say, my dear,” Mr. X begins to bloviate. “Not when another world war is sure to come at any moment…warmongering Nazis…” As X drones on and on, the camera shows us that a bug has been strategically placed in a decorative candelabra hanging on a nearby wall, and there is a brief shot of a man who’s actually managing to stay awake and to transcribe X’s insomnia-curing rant. Then it’s back to X’s domicile for this earth-shattering observation:

MR. X: Almost every foreign office in the world will agree…that the nation which controls Africa…controls all the Southern approaches to Europe…

PAMELA: In other words…if the Nazis control the Tongghili…it will help them control Africa…

Well, so much for the clumsy, heavily-labored plot. X entreats Pamela to relay this information to her uncle, commenting: “You’re the one person in the world that can go to him openly without creating suspicion.” The ringing of a telephone interrupts this conversation, as one of X’s lackeys answers, speaks some coded gibberish into the receiver…and then hangs up. X informs Pamela that the conversation came from Washington, DC—where the information about the label has been relayed, and which also will allow the writers of this serial to introduce two more characters to the plot, volunteer agent Bob Elliott (Edward Norris) and his auto mechanic pal (and comic relief), Chuck Kelly (Eddie Quillan):

BOB: …a friend of mine in Washington was telling me about a place called Tambosa…

CHUCK: Tambosa? Do you fry it, boil it or bake it?

BOB (chuckling): No, it’s a river town down in Africa…on the edge of the middle jungle…and because of my curiosity; we may be walking into something…

CHUCK: Huh?

BOB: I mean—there’s a chance we might not come back…

CHUCK: Ah…you don’t think so? (Making a fist) Hmm…Africa, huh? Okay, it’s a deal…what are we hunting for?

BOB: Oh, we won’t know that until we meet an Englishman by the name of Alan Courtney in Tambosa…

The scene then shifts back to our friend, the doodling Nazi receives additional details from his heel-clicking friend that Pamela is en route to her uncle…meaning England has now gotten involved in attempting to stop their nefarious scheme. Herr Heel-Clicker tells his superior that Pamela “will take the night plane to Tambosa” and that their men stationed nearby have “received orders.”

We then cut to the plane, which is starting up and about to get underway on its journey—Bob and Chuck are aboard, with Pamela following shortly after. A mechanic (Edmund Cobb!) known as “Johann” informs a thug (Robert R. Stephenson) answering to “Krantz” that while the motors may purr like a fraulein having her back scratched, one of them will soon konk out, leaving its crew and passengers in a very precarious position…and just when the three travelers were starting to get well-acquainted…

Next Saturday, Chapter Two: Jungle Sacrifice!

G-Men Never Forget – Chapter 12: Exposed

OUR STORY SO FAR: Since the last write-up on this serial occurred one month ago, Ivan G. Shreve, Jr., mastermind of the Thrilling Days of Yesteryear blog, was hoping he could abandon this project and no one would notice. But Shreve underestimated loyal reader John H., who sent him an e-mail reminding him he still had the final chapter to dissect, and so our villain had little recourse but to comply with John’s request.

As for the actual serial itself, the last time we dropped in on Special Agent Ted O’Hara (Clayton Moore), he was in hot pursuit of Vic Murkland (Roy Barcroft), notorious baddie who has held an entire town in the grip of fear by posing (thanks to plastic surgery) as kindly Police Commissioner Angus Cameron in order for his criminal activities to go unnoticed. Murkland is holding O’Hara’s female sidekick, Sergeant Frances Blake (Ramsay Ames) hostage but has decided that she’s served out her usefulness and has left her unconscious behind the wheel of his getaway car…which is just now taking a header off that oh-so-familiar Republic serial cliff…

Just when it looks as if Sergeant Blake is going to end up a crispy critter when Murkland’s escape car leaps off a cliff and explodes upon impact, her stunt double manages to jump from the vehicle in an incredibly unexpected turn of events…and I use that phrase with as much sarcasm as I can muster. As Ted comes to her rescue, and does the gentlemanly thing by helping her to her feet, the screen soon becomes filled with blaring newspaper headlines trumpeting: “SEARCH ON FOR CROOKED OFFICER” and “POLICE COMMISSONER EXPOSED”. A third headline screams “CAMERON ALLIED WITH MURKLAND,” which means, of course, that O’Hara still hasn’t figured out that Murkland and Cameron are one and the same. (This is not to say, of course, that there is no Cameron—he’s just spending some time “resting” at the sanitarium run by kindly old “Doc” Benson [Stanley Price].) Meanwhile, Murkland and Benson are in the sanitarium’s “receiving area” when Murkland’s flunky Duke Graham (Drew Allen) enters with a late-breaking bulletin:

GRAHAM: There’s a roadblock on…police barricades…there’s no way out of town…railway and bus stations are guarded, the airports…

MURKLAND (interrupting): You weren’t trying to run out on us, were ya?
GRAHAM: No, but we’ve all got to leave town and I thought…
MURKLAND: Suppose you shut up and let me do the thinking around here…

Dukie, this might not be the proper time or place to say this…but maybe you ought to seriously consider getting into another line of work. I hear Sonic’s hiring…

MURKLAND: You don’t think I went into this without a plan, do ya?

If that question is directed at me, the answer is “yes.”

MURKLAND: You know why I’ve been keeping Cameron alive?

GRAHAM: Sure I do, but if the law finds him…
MURKLAND: They’ll find him, all right…they’ll find his charred body in the burned ruins of this joint! He’ll be identified as the wanted commissioner, and the hunt will be over and we’ll move to new hunting grounds…

And you thought that Murkland was just grasping at straws for one last desperate bid at freedom. There’s only one small drawback to this plan: all of Murkland’s ready cash is tucked away in…wait for it…Cameron’s office closet—and the thought of going into what is clearly a trap causes Graham to not only wet himself but spill some sodium pentothal on the sleeve of his suit. Murkland is able to convince the feeble-minded Duke that it will be a cinch to get the loot (“I’m not expecting anyone to come back to the office so it won’t be guarded”) and tells him to take along his flunky Slocum (Dale Van Sickel…again) to do the job. (Sure, they’ve done this so many times, and the plans go hopelessly awry at the last minute…but this time it’s bound to work!)

The bells of the town clock begin to peal at 10:00pm, and we find the two henchmen entering the office and looking for the secret compartment that Murkland has stashed the money in. But surprise! The ever resourceful if slightly thick-as-a-plank O’Hara found the money that morning, and he’s been waiting patiently for someone to break into the office to go scrounging for it. The guns start a-blazing, and O’Hara and Duke shoot it out when Slocum is fortunate to make a hasty retreat. Outside the office, Francis is curiously putting in some overtime when she hears shooting inside; she opens the door to find Duke pointing a pistol straight at her…but he’s felled by a shot from Ted, who pronounces: “That’s the end of Duke Graham.” Ted then tells Frances he’ll arrange for the coroner to have the dear, departed Duke’s clothing sent to his place (clearly you can see where this is going) and instructs to contact the phone company for a record of all phone calls made from this office (something I would have thought had been taken care of a good while ago, but then the serial would have been about four chapters long).

Back at the sanitarium, Benson begins to worry about the fact that Duke hasn’t gotten back, and Murkland reassures “Doc” everything is fine. It is, in fact, Slocum who gets in touch with the two men via Ma Bell:

SLOCUM: O’Hara trapped us…the money’s gone and they’ve got Duke…

BENSON: All right…go into hiding, but do not come here…
(Benson hangs up the phone, and then proceeds to stare at Murkland.)
MURKLAND: Bring Cameron in here…

Murkland throws a chewed-on matchstick to the floor (music sting)…meanwhile, Frances has arrived at Ted’s bachelor digs and he’s got the Junior Mr. Wizard Chemistry Set out again, analyzing the peculiar stain on Graham’s clothing:

O’HARA: Hello, Sarge…

Look, I don’t know how these two will end up when this thing comes to an end, but I’ll bet dollars to donuts that little pet name for her is one of the first things that will go.

O’HARA: What did you find out?

BLAKE: Here’s a list of phone calls from Cameron’s office…most of them went to the Chief of Police…
O’HARA: Naturally…
BLAKE: …and after that, the D.A…
O’HARA: Mm-hmm…and then the mayor…
BLAKE: No…after the D.A., most of them went to Benson’s Sanitarium…
O’HARA: I know where it is…and it clicks!

Probably the doors…the hinges could sure use some WD-40.

O’HARA: The sleeve of Duke Graham’s coat shows an indication of sodium pentothal…a drug they use in the treatment of mental patients…

“As for this other stain…well, it’s clearly urine…”

BLAKE: Then maybe the sanitarium is Murkland’s hideout!

O’HARA: That’s just what we’re going to find out, Sarge…

So, it’s off to the sanitarium—where at this time, Commissioner Cameron is being brought into the receiving area at gunpoint by Benson. He’s instructed by the medico to put on his clothes:

CAMERON: Well—what is this, Murkland? Lost your nerve?

MURKLAND: Do as you’re told! Unless you want a shot in the back…

Cameron gets dressed, and his “personal effects” are handed to him by Benson.

CAMERON: What’s the idea, Murkland? Don’t tell me O’Hara’s finally caught up to you…

MURKLAND: Not with me…but he did find out that Commissioner Cameron is working with Murkland…there’s a manhunt on for the Commissioner…and they’re going to find him…dead!

Cameron lunges at Murkland, who knocks his adversary to the floor…Cameron then receives a nice blow to the head courtesy of Benson, who hits him with a sugared-glass bottle. The two men decide to stash Cameron in his room, start the fire and…adios, muchachos! The blaze is going full guns, and Murkland and Benson are ready to get the hell out of Dodge when…wouldn’t ya know it, O’Hara and Blake pull up. (Don’t you hate people who drop in without calling first?) Murkland orders Benson to stall our heroes and “see if you can get rid of ‘em.”

O’HARA: Where have you got Commissioner Cameron?

BENSON: Commissioner Cameron? What would he be doing here? I just read that he was in trouble, but…
BLAKE: Then why did he telephone here all the time?
BENSON: Telephone?
O’HARA: That’s right, Benson…
BENSON: Oh, yes…uh…he had a niece who was a patient of mine for quite sometime…he used to make inquiries about her daily…

O’Hara isn’t buying this balloon juice (though in Benson’s defense, it’s kinda hard to come up with a good lie when there’s a fire raging behind the door of your office) and finding Murkland’s matchsticks on the floor isn’t selling the story either. In a flash, Murkland emerges through the door and starts throwing punches at Ted while Frances gets to tangle with the soft-as-a-grape Benson. Benson makes a feeble attempt to head for the hills, but Frances is on his tail—and the donnybrook between Murkland and Ted gets pretty spirited until Murkland knocks out Ted with another sugared-glass bottle. He’s about to administer the coup de Gracie when Cameron emerges from his cell and plugs his look-alike with lead:

CAMERON: You saved my life, O’Hara…glad I was able to reciprocate by killing Murkland…

O’HARA (more than a bit confused): Murkland? Well, then…who…?

Frances returns to the office with Benson handcuffed to a beat cop (I don’t think Doc will be doing any more nip ‘n’ tuck for a while), and she’s also accompanied by District Attorney MacLain (Frank O’Connor):

MacLAIN (to another cop flunky): Send in a fire alarm…what have you got, O’Hara?

O’HARA: I got Cameron…and Murkland…I’m not sure which is which!
CAMERON (stretching out his hand to MacLain for a hearty handclasp): How are you, MacLain? So Murkland even fooled the District Attorney…

Yeah, and don’t think MacLain’s opponent won’t remind folks of that come election time…

CAMERON: …Doctor Benson did a plastic surgery job on Murkland sometime ago, and he’s been holding down my office ever since…

MacLAIN (to the beat cop): All right, Al—take him away… (Philosophically) The most amazing case…
CAMERON: One that will be remembered by my department for a long time…
BLAKE: Right, Ted…G-Men never forget…
(Group laughter…and fade out.)

Epilogue

The plot of G-Men Never Forget (1948) may be an amazing case, but it’s certainly not an amazing serial. Many of the post-war Republics—while competently made and featuring far-superior production skills than their Columbia counterparts—have a mechanical feel to them, a sort-of paint-by-numbers approach that can be largely attributed to G-Men’s director, Fred C. Brannon. Brannon directed the majority of the cliffhanger product after William Witney graduated to Roy Rogers westerns (making some of the very best in that series) and John English hitched his wagon to Gene Autry’s. Brannon’s direction rarely reached any level beyond uninspired, and to call him a traffic cop would be heady praise indeed.

Brannon had a little assistance on this serial from Yakima Canutt, a legendary stuntman and second unit director whose previous directorial efforts at Republic included Manhunt of Mystery Island (1945) and Federal Operator 99 (1945) (both with Spencer Gordon Bennet) and later serials (in tandem with Brannon) included Dangers of the Canadian Mounted (1948) and Adventures of Frank and Jesse James (1948). With Canutt on board, you were guaranteed that at least the fight scenes would be first-rate (a definite plus in G-Men) but apart from that he didn’t leave much of a stamp—Mystery Island is probably the best of the bunch. (Though I think this gentleman might disagree.)

Another positive in G-Men is Roy Barcroft’s rare appearance as a good guy (as Cameron); when it came to serial villainy, very few actors could match Barcroft’s knack for pure dang-nasty evil…though it’s hard not to notice that the Murkland character gets more screen time, which is probably as it should be. The only other nice guy part I’ve seen Barcroft in (I’m sure there are many others) is a tiny role as “The Judge” in the 1969 Steve McQueen film The Reivers; most of the time the first moment you saw him onscreen you knew he’d be up to no good. (Among his highpoints of villainy: Captain Mephisto in Mystery Island [the actor often singled this out as his favorite], the titled bad guy of The Purple Monster Strikes [1945] and Hank Kilgore in Ghost of Zorro [1949].)

As for the other performers…they don’t fare so well. We all know Clayton Moore from the days of watching TV’s The Lone Ranger, and while that role fit the actor like a glove he had a tendency to be a bit of a stiff in other parts, particularly when he was assigned to be the hero. (That’s why I get a kick out of seeing Moore as the bad guy in serials like The Crimson Ghost [1946] and Radar Men from the Moon [1952]—at least it allowed him something different to do.) Ramsay Ames actually makes Moore look like a master thespian; the former dancer-singer was featured in only a few serials—including one of my favorite post-war Republics, The Black Widow (1947), and Columbia’s The Vigilante: Fighting Hero of the West (1947)—but for the most part found herself relegated to bit parts in B-pics and Westerns. (For some odd reason, I always remember with great fondness Ames’ turn in The Mummy's Ghost [1944], the penultimate (and daffiest) feature in the Universal “Mummy” series.)

I purchased my copy of G-Men from AC Comics, and was fortunate to procure it when it was part of a half-price sale…if you’re thinking about grabbing a copy you could probably locate it cheaper elsewhere. The AC Comics copy also contains Chapter Two of The Spider's Web (1938) as a bonus, a serial I discussed a good many years ago and is considered by many to be one of the best to emerge from the Columbia Studios fold.

G-Men Never Forget – Chapter 11: Counter-Plot

OUR STORY SO FAR: Vic Murkland (Roy Barcroft), an escaped convict who’s terrorizing a large metropolitan city through his clever plastic surgery-enhanced disguise as Police Commissioner Angus Cameron, has ordered his abject minion, Duke Graham (Drew Allen) to croak Cameron’s assistant Hayden (Doug Aylesworth) and plant an incriminating note on the corpse to convince Special Agent Ted O’Hara (Clayton Moore) that Hayden was working for Murkland the entire time. Graham carries out this task, but in the process of doing so finds himself trapped in O’Hara’s apartment as the Fed and his sidekick, Sgt. Francis Blake (Ramsay Ames), return unexpectedly. (I know I’ve been using the word “apartment” to describe O’Hara’s crib when it’s really a hotel room—but this is one big friggin’ hotel room.) O’Hara knows that someone is inside his apartment, and as he slowly prepares to enter his domicile Graham has his gun at the ready…

As Dukie begins to shoot furiously at O’Hara’s arm (the one that reached inside the apartment to kick the lights on), our favorite Fed knows enough to yank it back inside and hit the ground. Duke then smashes a window near the fire escape and beats a hasty retreat, with O’Hara and Blake entering the apartment just in time to see Graham hauling all ass and elbows back to his car (which is probably double-parked, the rapscallion). Our heroes then find the body of the late Det. Hayden stashed in the clothes closet.

Back at the office, O’Hara shows Murkland (acting as the faux-Cameron) the note left on Hayden’s person:

MURKLAND: It’s difficult to believe that Hayden sold out to Murkland, but…this note certainly proves it…
O”HARA: The note’s authentic…Murkland’s signature is on it…
MURKLAND: O’Hara…you’ve found the leak in my office and sealed it—my compliments to you…
O’HARA: No, Commissioner…there’s still a leak from this office…
MURKLAND: Why…I don’t understand…
O’HARA: Hayden phoned that he was coming up to my place…Murkland sent Duke Graham there to kill him…therefore, Murkland must have been tipped off on Hayden’s phone call…
MURKLAND: True…but he could have called from any place between here and your hotel…
O’HARA: No, he used a department phone…
MURKLAND: How do you arrive at that?

Yeah, Federal Agent Brainiac—you’re so smart…

O’HARA: He put the call in only a few moments after he left your office…before he had time to leave the building…so it was someone here who tipped off Murkland…and I think it was Baxter, Hayden’s assistant…
MURKLAND: Baxter?

Apparently we’re back at the much-discussed and controversial “Baxter theory,” introduced in the previous chapter. Murkland pounces on this like a dog on a pork chop: “Yes…of course…I’ve should have thought of that…” Murkland wants to call Baxter in to confront him with O’Hara’s theory, but O’Hara waves him off, explaining that he has a scheme to lure Senor Baxter into a trap. As O’Hara outlines his brilliant plan, Murkland is seated at his desk smoking a cigarette…and absentmindedly starts to stick the ever-present matchstick in his mouth to chew…fortunately he catches himself in time, and it’s equally opportune that O’Hara is so full of himself pontificating about “Project Baxter” to pay any notice. After O’Hara exits from his office, Murkland phones “Doc” Benson (Stanley Price) at the sanitarium hideout and asks him to put Duke on the phone (Graham, for some odd reason, is laying on a hospital gurney resting comfortably after his criminal labors):

DUKE: Yeah, Chief—Duke speakin’…
MURKLAND: O’Hara thinks Baxter is one of my men… (Murkland is again chewing on a matchstick and he suddenly realizes what he’s doing, so he throws the match away) Well, it could work to our benefit…tell you what you do…get over here right away, and I’ll send Baxter out into the alley…back door…

There is a dissolve, and we find O’Hara and Blake standing around in the alley watching both exits for any sign of Baxter. But Francis is astonished to see a surprise guest pull up in his car—Duke Graham!

BLAKE: Ted…it’s Duke Graham…let’s get him!
O’HARA: Wait a minute…let’s see what happens…

Duke hides behind some boxes in the alley (apparently police headquarters is exempt from any kind of trash pickup rules) with his weapon at the ready and out the back door pops Baxter (Russell Whitman), just another cog in the bureaucratic machine who’s about to experience the high point of his sad, miserable career. Walking past the concealed Duke, he’s pistol-whipped and, falling to the ground, is grabbed by another one of Duke’s endless parade of flunkies (this time it’s Tom Steele…again) and chucked into the back of the car. Blake pleads with her partner to do something about Baxter’s kidnapping:

BLAKE: But they hit him…
O’HARA: Sarge, I don’t like to see a policeman hurt anymore than you do…but Baxter’s already hit and we can’t help him now…besides, I want to trail him…

As Duke and Jack drive off with the unconscious Baxter, Ted and Frances race to their car and continue pursuit. During the chase, O’Hara once again overcompensates by explaining to Blake that this was really his plan all along:

BLAKE: Something’s haywire…Baxter falls for your trap…he runs out the back door and is knocked out by Duke, who drives off with him…it doesn’t add up…
O’HARA: It does to me…I thought this might happen…that’s why I wanted to watch the rear door…
BLAKE: But if Baxter is one of Murkland’s men…
O’HARA: He isn’t…Baxter’s an honest cop…

“He insists on paying for every donut!” The quartet ends up at the old farmhouse hideout—and yes; this is the same farmhouse that was blowed up real good in Chapter Eight. How were they able to rebuild it so quickly? How did they manage to make the rebuilt house look exactly the same as the demolished one? And why, for crying out loud, rebuild it at all—I’m sure there were several other hideouts that could have been had for the same price…with better schools and loads of off-street parking to boot. (Just between you, me and the lamppost—I’m beginning to think they’re making this up as they go along.) Well, I don’t have to tell you where this is going—Duke and Jack are about to tie up Baxter when Ted and Frances bust into the joint, and it’s balsa-wood furniture slamming time! (Frances is out of this melee early when Jack knocks her to the floor and then smashes a clay pot over his head…the view of which is unfortunately obscured by a chair.) O’Hara and Graham tussle, and Jack is about to dispatch our hero to the great beyond by stabbing him with a knife when Baxter decides he’s sat out the fight long enough and shoots Jack—allowing Duke to get away in the process. (The guy goes through flunky-partners like Kleenex.)

O’HARA: Good work, Baxter… (The two of them go over to the part of the room where Frances is struggling to her feet…being hit with pottery apparently has left her without a bruise or scratch.) How are you doing?
BLAKE: All right, I guess…I’m still in one piece…
BAXTER: Say…what’s this all about, O’Hara?
O’HARA: First, let me ask you a question…did Commissioner Cameron send you out the back way?
BAXTER: Yeah…he wanted some aspirin…and for some reason or another, sent me out the back door…
O’HARA: There’s your answer, Frances…

Cameron is in cahoots with the Bayer Company!

O’HARA: …Cameron thought I suspected Baxter of selling out to Murkland…and planned to have him taken for a ride…
BLAKE: But why?
O’HARA: To draw me off the track…but what he didn’t realize was the plan I outlined to him could work two ways…if Baxter had been guilty…and I was sure he wasn’t…it would have exposed him…but Duke showed up, and Cameron was the only one who knew the trap…
BLAKE: Then Commissioner Cameron…
O’HARA: Exactly…Commissioner Cameron has sold out to Murkland…

Well, actually Ted isn’t anywhere close (but we’ve only one more chapter left, he’s bound to figure it out by then) but he orders Baxter to “take care of the dead man” and announces to Frances that “we have a date with the Commissioner.” I don’t buy one bit of his explanation as to how he figured this whole thing out—and I don’t think any of the other characters do, either—but since he’s a fragile and insecure man, let’s just cut to the eventual confrontation between O’Hara and the faux-Cameron:

MURKLAND: Hello, O’Hara…Sergeant…did you follow Baxter?
O’HARA: Yes…
MURKLAND: Good! Tell me about it!
O’HARA: The game’s up, Commissioner…we know you’ve been working with Murkland…Sergeant, phone the District Attorney and ask him to come here…
MURKLAND: Now, wait a minute O’Hara…
O’HARA (cutting him off) Save it for the D.A.! Go ahead, Francis…
(Blake goes over to the phone at the exact same moment Duke makes his entrance through the office’s back door…)

DUKE: Well…looks like I got here just in time…drop that phone!

Ted runs cowardly toward a recliner and ducks behind it, allowing Murkland to grab Frances as hostage: “We’re leaving, O’Hara—and we’re taking Sergeant Blake with us! Either we go free or she dies!” (With the speed he used to crawl under that recliner, I’m guessing Ted is having second thoughts about the relationship again.) Murkland and Duke duck out the back with Frances in tow—Duke is ordered to stay behind and take care of O’Hara if he attempts to follow them, and Frances finds herself reluctantly taking the wheel as Murkland’s chauffeur. Finally, I guess O’Hara is concerned about the fun they’re going to make of him if he doesn’t try to rescue Frances and he emerges from the back entrance, shooting at Duke and managing to get past him and to his own car so that the chase can begin.

On that oh-so-familiar stretch of back road that we’ve seen nearly a hundred times in this serial, O’Hara is starting to catch up with Murkland—so the master criminal cold cocks Frances with his pistol and then leaps out of the car to safety. With Frances resting her head on the steering wheel for a power nap, the car begins to careen wildly out of control and off a high cliff—the car bursting into flames as it hits the point of impact…

Next Saturday, the Final Chapter: Exposed!

G-Men Never Forget - Chapter 10: The Innocent Victim

OUR STORY SO FAR: Last week, in order to save a little money on this big-budgeted serial extravaganza, the good folks at Republic presented a chapter in which the principals in this story discussed how exciting the first installment was (with accompanying footage) while neglecting to mention that the story has since become mired in utter ennui. But before the chapter played out, Special Agent Ted O’Hara (Clayton Moore), Sergeant Francis Blake (Ramsay Ames), Special Deputy Roberts (Phil Warren)…and even criminal mastermind Vic Murkland (Roy Barcroft), in his plastic-surgery disguise as Police Commissioner Angus Cameron were in danger of being exterminated, thanks to clever little vandal Duke Graham (Drew Allen), who had transformed Cameron’s office into a gas chamber. As the four individuals pass out from the noxious fumes, only O’Hara has the intestinal fortitude not to succumb to the gas, and he quickly opens a window in the Commissioner’s office to allow fresh air into the room. Looking outside, he spots Graham on the back of a truck that is speeding away…

MURKLAND: Who was it?
O’HARA: Duke Graham…he had a gas cylinder on a truck…
BLAKE: Yes, it was coming from that vent…
ROBERTS: Then…Murkland must have known of my visit here…

I’m beginning to see just how this guy reached the rank of Special Deputy…nothing gets past him!

O’HARA: That’s right!
MURKLAND: That’s impossible—how could he have known?
O’HARA: That’s what I’m going to find out, Commissioner…
ROBERTS: Good idea, Ted…

Oh, please…don’t start patting him on the back—this is pretty much what you pay him for, isn’t it? Roberts announces that he’s on his way back to Washington and Ted—ever the brown-noser—offers to drive him to the station. His good deed done for the day, O’Hara commiserates (and no, it doesn’t mean what you think it means, you gutter-minded reprobates) with Sergeant Blake back at his bachelor’s pad:

BLAKE: This Murkland case has the Commissioner’s office worried…
O’HARA: Yes, and the Commissioner’s office has me worried…
BLAKE: How’s that?
O’HARA: All of our moves we’ve talked over in the Commissioner’s office somehow got back to the Murkland gang…
BLAKE: But Commissioner Cameron has such a fine record…

“He plays it every year at the office Christmas party…”

BLAKE: Surely you don’t believe that…
O’HARA (interrupting her): I don’t believe anything until I prove it…besides, the Commissioner has a secretary…Mister Hayden…
BLAKE: Him?
O’HARA: That’s just what we’re going to find out…

O’Hara’s plan is to type up a phony letter for Francis to drop off at Hayden’s desk—the contents inside revealing that a valuable painting is being stored at the city’s museum. Murkland, having read the letter, contacts Robert “Doc” Benson (Stanley Price) at his sanitarium hideout and informs him of his sudden interest in art:

MURKLAND: I just got a hot tip through O’Hara that ought to net us plenty…there’s a painting waiting to be shipped to the London Art Museum worth at least a quarter of a million dollars…
BENSON: Duke’s here and ready to go…where is it?
MURKLAND: The Andrew Art Gallery office, in the Andrew Building…now here’s the way I want it handled…

The scene shifts to the gallery’s office, where Duke and another nameless flunky (Duke Green) dedicated to Murkland’s empire of crime break in to put the snatch on the canvas. But guess what, fellas? It’s a trap, and both men are surprised by O’Hara…who engages the two goons in another balsa-wood melee. (What I found so amusing about this is that while the furniture is easily busted up, the box containing the painting remains intact throughout the fight scene.) Although “Sarge” Blake is temporarily knocked out during the donnybrook, she manages to come to just in time to put a slug into Nameless Thug Boy before he wails on O’Hara with some sort of brass ashtray…but unfortunately, Graham beats a hasty retreat out of the office:

BLAKE: It was a little bit rough, but you proved your point…
O’HARA: Not quite…now comes the showdown with Hayden…
BLAKE: That’ll be a pleasure to see…
O’HARA: Listen, Sarge…we’re dealing with a pretty sharp character…and it might be better at this time if we split up…

Uh-oh…sounds like Ted is giving Frances the old “it’s-not-you-it’s-me” speech…

O’HARA: In case anything happens to me—you’ll be in a spot where you can finish the job…
BLAKE: Well…I hope nothing happens to you…
O’HARA: Thanks… (Looking around) I have to get someone to take care of this mess…meet me at my place…see you later…

Awww…I knew those crazy kids were destined to be together…they were just having a little spat. (Trust me, folks—this is as close as we’re going to get to any actual romance in this thing.) The scene then shifts to Cameron’s office, where Murkland is surprised to receive an unwanted guest:

MURKLAND: What are you doing here? Someone might have seen you!
GRAHAM: Can’t be much worse than it is now…that picture deal you had me touted on had a nice frame on it…
MURKLAND: What are you talking about? I’ve got the letter right there on my desk…
GRAHAM: Sure, and O’Hara used it as bait for a neat trap…

Murkland and Duke’s conversation is interrupted by the buzzing of Cameron’s intercom—and Murkland learns through Hayden (Doug Aylesworth) that O’Hara is there to see him. Duke quickly ducks out of sight into a nearby closet as O’Hara (who asks Hayden to join them) brings Murkland some news he can use:

O’HARA: I’ve evidence that indicates that someone in this office has sold out to Murkland…
(There is a quick shot of the closet door, which opens slightly to reveal Duke’s gun at the ready…)
MURKLAND: Why, that’s ridiculous…the next thing you’ll be telling me is that Hayden is a member of Murkland’s gang…
O’HARA: Strangely enough, that’s just the way the evidence points…
HAYDEN: But…but…I…you…
O’HARA: You received a sealed envelope from Francis addressed to me…
HAYDEN: Sure…and I gave it to the Commissioner just as she said…
O’HARA: The information in that envelope somehow got to Duke Graham…and Hayden was the only one who handled it…
HAYDEN: That’s not true…Baxter also had it—he relieved me for lunch…
O’HARA: Baxter?

Well, Mr. Smarty-pants Special Agent…you hadn’t counted on Baxter, had you? Looking as sheepish as only an idiot can, O’Hara announces that he’ll investigate the man known as Baxter—but warns Hayden that he’s to be made available for further questioning. When both O’Hara and Hayden depart, Murkland warns Duke that with the finger of suspicion pointing at this office, things could get rough…the two men are then interrupted again by Hayden:

MURKLAND: What is it now?
HAYDEN: I’m sorry, sir, but…I hope you didn’t believe that I…
MURKLAND (forcefully): I’m sorry, too, Hayden—but I can’t commit myself…O’Hara has complete charge of the Murkland case and all I can do is lend assistance wherever he needs it…
(Murkland absentmindedly pulls out a matchstick and begins to chew on it…Hayden’s eyes become as big as dinner plates as he soon realizes…Cameron is being impersonated by Murkland!)

With Murkland’s little charade exposed to the hapless Hayden, he and Duke listen in on a phone conversation between the doomed man and Sergeant Blake—he tells her he knows where Murkland is, and she gives him Ted’s address so that he can wait for him there. Duke tells Murkland that the only way to settle the matter is “to take Hayden for a ride.” “That’s not a bad idea,” Murkland snarls in return. The criminal mastermind takes pen, envelope and paper out of his desk and scrawls something that will incriminate Hayden:

Hayden—The enclosed thousand dollars is for services rendered. Murkland

The scene shifts to Ted O’Hara’s apartment. It is night, and a jittery Hayden waits for Mr. Special Agent to return, pacing and smoking cigarette after cigarette. He hears someone at the front door, and cautiously walks over, asking who’s outside. A muffled voice answers: “O’Hara.” Hayden foolishly opens the door, and Duke Graham, Boy Hoodlum barges in, roscoe in hand. Hayden ends up on the other side of the room, and because he’s so scared to the point of soiling himself he stupidly opens up a door behind him…only to discover it’s a clothes closet. How Hayden planned to make a smooth getaway via a closet will be a mystery for the ages—and a moot one at that, since Graham turns the radio on full blast and pumps three slugs into the government lackey, the music drowning out the shots.

Down on the street, O’Hara and Blake pull up in Ted’s car at the same time Duke plants the envelope on Hayden’s corpse. He’s all set to vacate the premises when he spots the two in the corridor, and ducks back inside, turning off the lights. (A neon sign outside blinks on and off, allowing us to see Duke maneuvering in the dark…and makes me wonder how O’Hara manages to get a good night’s sleep…unless he’s spending his nights shacking up at Chez Blake, if you know what I mean.) Ted hears the music blaring from his digs…and when the music stops abruptly, he tells Francis to stand back. With his weapon at the ready, Ted slowly begins to enter his darkened apartment, his hand reaching for the light switch…and Duke responds with appropriate gunfire…

Next Saturday, Chapter 11: Counter-Plot!