Monday, June 30, 2014

The Doris Delay Show II: Texas Blood Money

I had every intention of having a brand-spanking new edition of Doris Day(s) completed and up today…and then a series of unusual incidents unfolded that kinda sorta distracted me from getting it done.  Just…unusual sitcom-like incidents—for example, over the weekend some person or persons unknown left a dresser drawer in our front yard.  Not an actual dresser, just…the drawer.  The ‘rents and I have no freaking idea how it got there; we speculated that perhaps it fell off a truck while someone was moving (and once it was discovered missing, the individuals involved said “Damn if I’m going back for that”) but that didn’t make sense to me because the drawer was laying perfectly on the ground—it wasn’t tipped over or at an angle or anything.

When I pointed this out to Ma and Pa Shreve, the ensuing conversation sounded a little like an edition of that Hee Haw soap opera, The Culhanes

ME: Did either of you notice that there’s a dresser drawer on our front lawn?
DAD: I haven’t been out today—my leg has been botherin’ me somethin’ fierce…
MOM: It’s been there all weekend…but I wasn’t about to lean over and pick it up, only to risk being hit by a beer truck…
(I should point out that one of my mother’s gravest concerns is that one day either she or I will be hit by a beer truck as we venture across the road to collect the mail.  This despite the fact that I have never even seen a beer truck on our street in the time we’ve lived here.)
ME: So…what do we do?  Leave it for the squirrels to make a house?
MOM: If you want to risk being hit by a beer truck, go right ahead…
DAD: I’d go after it…but my leg has been botherin’ me somethin’ fierce…

The drawer finally got moved by the landscaping people, who tossed it in a wooded area near the house so the lawn mowing could commence.  Which was a shame as we were starting to get used it; if it was melting, it would have been like living in a Dali painting.

So…no Doris today, but I will do my darndest to get it done and up tomorrow unless something else wacky happens.  As long as I’ve rented the hall, I will let you know that Barnes & Noble has got one of their Criterion Collection 50% off sales going on until July 28th; I know you’ll find this stupefying to believe but I actually bought just one title—the Blu-ray of A Hard Day’s Night (1964).  (I know, I couldn’t believe it myself.)  I told myself I’d be good this time because I’ve got a couple of Blu-ray orders out already; I could not fight off the temptation of pre-ordering Flicker Alley’s The Mack Sennett Collection, Volume One nor was I powerless to resist a pre-order of Sleeping Beauty (1959), which Disney is dragging out of the “vault” again in October when they release Maleficent (2014) to disc.  (I missed getting it the last time it was released.)

I also ponied up some couch cushion money for Ben Model’s latest Kickstarter campaign—a DVD of ten rare silent comedy shorts starring Marcel Perez, with new scores by Mr. Model and gleaned from 35mm archival prints.  I have to come clean here—I had to do a little research on Perez because I honestly haven’t been exposed to any of his work.  But that’s the great thing about these discs from Ben’s Undercrank Productions—I’m able to make contact with funnymen that have slipped off my radar; an excellent example of this is another recent effort by Ben and author-historian Steve Massa to bring some of the “Mishaps of Musty Suffer” comedies starring Harry Watson, Jr. to the attention of silent comedy/classic film fans.  Ben and Steve used original 35mm prints from the Library of Congress for that release, and I can’t adequately express in words the gratifying feeling I received in knowing that just a few spare shekels went towards this rewarding film preservation project.

So mosey on over to Ben’s campaign and see what you can do to help the cause, hokay?


le0pard13 said...

Wonderful singer and person. Underrated actress, too.

Anonymous said...

Dear Ivan: I'd love to leave an "official" Comment here -------> as long as you're willing to overlook the fact that I'm three months late in doing so!

First, I want to comment on your story/dialog about the drawer that you recounted. It is a gem from start to finish! I would love to read more stories about -- well, about your private life.

Second, thanks for the Perez and Watson tip-offs. I wasn't familiar with either.

Third, and last, I'm off to find your Doris story from the summer. Thanks, Ivan. :-)