OUR STORY SO FAR (taken directly from the “crawl” that opens Part the Fourth): Commander Don Winslow, investigating sabotage on
Speeding in his
destroyer, Don overtakes and boards the “Tarleton”. But Scorpion agents, stowaways on the
freighter, battle the crew and take command.
Don manages to radio
the destroyer, then races to the “Tarleton” wheelhouse, and is putting up a
desperate struggle with the Scorpion agents when a shell from the destroyer…
…hits the S.S. Tarleton, and we bid Donny Winslow adieu. Well—that’s what happened in the final image of last week’s chapter, anyway. This week it’s a different story—Don got clobbered, but all he had was a roof fall in on him. (He can walk that off.)
Over at the 620, Don’s destroyer, they’re doing an end zone dance because they managed to silence the Tarleton’s guns without blowing Winslow to smithereenies. In the wheelhouse are the besides-himself-with-unbridled-glee Lt. Cmdr. Grady (Dirk Thane), Don’s lovable sidekick Lt. “Red” Pennington (Walter Sande), and Michael Axford (Wade Boteler), who has somehow managed to escape from the serial The Green Hornet Strikes Again! and invade this one. (I’m sorry…I’ve just been handed a note telling me that Boteler is playing a different comic Irishman in Don Winslow of the Navy: Michael Splendor.)
GRADY: We’re pulling in closer to
the Tarleton…
SPLENDOR: Sure, those Scar-pian
agents must be dumb to open fire on a
destroyer!
GRADY: They certainly must be, Mr.
Splendor…I don’t know what they hope to accomplish with one small gun…
SPLENDOR: Why the devil are they
still fightin’? I hope they don’t get
Winslow!
GRADY: We’ll soon take the fight
out of them…
“Is that you, John Wayne…is this me?” Meanwhile, on the Tarleton, Winslow struggles to get to his feet because it feels as if someone dropped a ceiling on him. (Which someone did.) Over by the “one small gun,” Scar-pian agent Kramer (Paul Bryan) is also coming to, and beside him lays an unconscious Paul Barsac (John Holland), the stupefyingly popular Scorpion agent who is beloved by nearly everyone in the organization even though I’ve not seen him do anything to earn that devotion in the three chapters I’ve invested in so far. Kramer tries to get Barsac to come to, telling him they need to get down to the hold of the ship and hide…but Paulie is unresponsive. Winslow, now on his feet, activates the ship forward toward the 620 and Kramer, seeing our hero, points a gun at him while hissing “Winslow!” A shot rings out, and Kramer (“Kray-muh!”) slumps to the deck. The person responsible for snuffing out his brightly burning spy flame is the Tarleton’s skipper, Captain Sanden (Heenan Elliott).
SANDEN: I just killed Kramer…the
leader of that gang of pirates…
“Blow my ship up, will he?
Why, I oughta…”
SANDEN: That shell from the 620
nearly wrecked my ship!
DON: I’d say it saved your ship, Captain…
“So don’t even think
about suing us!” No, ol’ Captain Sanden
agrees that Don’s decision to ram the submarine was responsible for saving the
Tarleton. “That was a clever piece of
work,” he says to Don, sucking up mightily.
“Well, with a few minor repairs you’ll still be able to pull
into Rondana Bay
behind the 620,” replies Don. Then he
says to Sanden: “In the meantime, I’d like to see if there are any of the
Scorpion men still alive…” At least…I think he said “Scorpion men.” Maybe he meant “scorpionmen”—half scorpion,
half man…I shudder to think of the scientific ramifications.
A scene shift finds Donny back on the 620, having a chinwag
with Splendor and Red.
SPLENDOR: By golly, laddie…I’m proud of ya…the way you saved the
Tarleton with its cargo of guns and gold bullion…
RED: I’m only sorry we didn’t take
more of the Scorpion agents alive…
DON: Well…we have Barsac…
SPLENDOR: Ah, sure—you couldn’t kill that crook! Didn’t he turn up alive after goin’ over a
cliff in a burning car?
He’s a regular Regis Toomey!
DON: And I still have hopes of him giving us the lead to The Scorpion’s
hideout! Once he does that…
RED: Yeah…once he does that—the
show’s over!
And since we have another eight chapters in this thing, I
have a sneaking suspicion he won’t do that for some time. An establishing shot of beautiful Tangita
Island transitions to a scene in
which nurse Mercedes Colby (Claire Dodd) and her BFF Misty Gaye (Anne Nagel)
are standing at the bedside of the still out-like-a-light Barsac. Mercedes takes his pulse and then tells her
friend: “He’ll pull through all right…we just have to keep him very quiet.” I have never understood this. Do you mean to tell me that if he starts
being loud and obnoxious he will die? Mercedes gives his chart another check, and
then enters the radio room where Don has just issued orders to Seaman Chapman
(Peter Leeds) to radio a message to his boss, Captain Holding. Also with Don are Red (of course) and John
Blake (Ben Taggart), the bidnessman who’s constructing the new naval base on
Tangita.
DON (to Mercedes): What’s the
verdict?
“I find this serial guilty—guilty
of extreme boredom!”
MERCEDES: He’ll be all right…but you won’t be able to worry
him with questions for a few days…
DON: Hmm…I was afraid of that…
SPLENDOR: Sure, and a few days more
or less won’t make any difference so long as Barsac tells us what we want to
know…
This line of Splendor’s is heard over a Dictaphone that’s
stationed in a remote hut on Tangita and monitored by top Scorpion agent
“M-22”—who is in reality respectable mine superintendent Spencer Merlin (John
Litel). Spence is accompanied by his
loyal stooge Prindle (Robert Barron), who agrees with his boss that they have
to get Barsac away from Winslow and Company “before he’s well enough to
talk.” But how? The answer to that apparently has been left
back at main headquarters, since Merlin tells his flunky they need to get back
over there.
As Prindle presses the lever that causes a panel to slide
over and conceal the Dictaphone, we find ourselves back in the construction
office, where a beaming Blake says to Don: “Now that all the excitement’s over
I can get back to work.” (As if there was any excitement to begin
with.)
DON: How’s your work coming along,
Blake?
BLAKE: I’ll have that old smelter
reconstructed into a modern power plant
in another week! Barring sabotage…
DON: Well, we’re not out of the
woods yet by any means, so…keep your guards posted!
Okay, I didn’t really need
to transcribe that dialogue…except that this is the plot for this week’s
chapter, and it seemed only right. At
the Tangita Gold Mine, which is cleverly concealing the headquarters of the
nefarious villain known as The Scorpion, Merlin pulls up in a woody and enters
the mine…
…and he ends up having to wake this guy up again, which made me snort out loud. The guy running the elevator was identified last week as “Karl,” and he was catching forty winks in that installment, too. (Clearly there is not enough to keep this man busy during his eight-hour shift at Scorpion, LLC.) Spence asks him if Prindle’s gotten there (you would think they’d carpool what with a war on and all) and then he eats up some screen time by doing the usual descending by elevator, stepping over the mine wreckage and entering the radio room. Somehow, Spencer always manages to get there in time to hear the latest bulletin from The Scorpion (Kurt Katch), who usually ends up kvetching at his No. 2 man about what a bungler he is.
MERLIN: Winslow holds him
captive…he’s in serious condition but expected to live, sir…
SCORPION: If he lives…he’ll find some way to make him
talk…neither Winslow nor the Navy must find out we have an underground oil well
and submarine base in Tangita…rescue Barsac at once…he’s too valuable to me…
I’m curious as to how this oil well and submarine base got
built there in the first place without anyone noticing the influx of workers
that would be needed for their construction…but then again, there seems to be a
noticeable lack of policing on this island, so…
I also find it amusing that The Scorpion has made the rescue of Barsac
top priority—proving that Paulie is his favorite amongst all the other enemy
agents.
Merlin doesn’t seem all too happy that Barsac is Scorpion’s
pet. “I’ll rescue him, all right…I’ll do
more than that!” He then orders Prindle
to go round up Corley (Lane Chandler), another employee of Scorpion
Enterprises.
The action then moves to Misty’s room at the Pacific
Hotel—and while this might just be speculation on my part, it’s kind of an
awkward edit…it seems to me that either there’s a scene or two missing—then
again, it could just be the sloppiness of the writing. Red and Splendor are pacing Misty’s room (as
she rifles through her handbag) and Red comments to Mike how he doesn’t like
how “Don’s taking that risk alone” and that they should be helping him. (What risk?
That’s the part that seems to be missing.)
SPLENDOR: Well, this is the way he wants it…and I’m thinkin’ we are helpin’ him…we’re obeyin’ his orders
and keepin’ out of the way, by Chester …
MISTY: Well, I hope nothing happens
to Mercedes…
SPLENDOR: Ah, you don’t have to
worry about that, young lady…she’s been takin’ good care of herself…
MISTY: Well, Don shouldn’t take
such risks with her…it isn’t worth it!
SPLENDOR: On the contrary—it’ll be
worth everything to us if works…and
you can be sure Don never would have started it if he hadn’t known what he was
doin’…
“Aw, sit down, lad and let me walk the plank a while,”
Splendor says, turning his attention to Red’s pacing. There is then a scene shift to the clinic,
and we find Mercedes opening the door to the room where Barsac is convalescing…but
zut alors! He is missing! Then she hears a man voice tell her “I’ve
been waiting for you—do as you’re told and keep your mouth shut…” It’s Prindle, who eases her out a side door
pointing a gun.
Prindle leads Mercedes to where henchie Spike (Ethan
Laidlaw) is waiting by a car, and Spike starts to tie Mercedes wrists
together. “What does this mean? Where are taking me?” she asks. She’s told to cool her jets and get in the
back seat—where the heavily bandaged Barsac is sitting. The two goons are putting the snatch on
Mercedes because they need a nurse to take care of their friend. There is a short scene with Mercedes and
Barsac in the back seat of the car, and then the action switches back to the
hotel room, where Red decides that he can wait no longer—he’s going to the
warehouse “to see what’s happening.”
Splendor agrees to come along, and Misty follows the two men because she
refuses to be left alone.
The car carrying Barsac finally comes to a stop, because
Corley and two mugs identified as “Matt” and “Husky” are standing on the side
of the road by another car. Corley tells
Spike that Matt and Husky will take Barsac and Mercedes to the “number 2
listening post,” and that he, Spike and Prindle are to drop by the smelting
plant to affix a little TNT to the plant’s chimney, which upon its detonation
will slow down Blake’s plans to renovate the smelter. As Mercedes and Barsac hear this, the
bandaged Barsac raises up a little—and I have a sneaking suspicion that the
bandaged patient is none other than…Don
Winslow of the Navy!
Matt and Husky drive off with their cargo, and Prindle is
filled with nothing but admiration for Merlin’s last-minute audible. “That was a smart move on the part of M-22…I
think The Scorpion will like it!”
PRINDLE: And with Winslow busy
investigating the explosion…we can pick up Barsac and that nurse and take ‘em
to the hideout!
SPIKE: We can’t miss!
Oh, jubilation! You guys are really smart! The car carrying “Barsac” and Mercedes pulls up on a road a short ways from Listening Post Number 2…and either Matt or Husky (they’re pretty much interchangeable, being nondescript and all) pulls “Barsac” out of the car and slings him over one shoulder like a sack of flour. They walk through the jungle until…
…they reach one of the huts abandoned by the castaways on Gilligan’s Island. As Matt (or Husky—again…can’t tell who is who) cuts Mercedes’ bonds, the patient reaches up and pulls away the bandages on his face to, indeed, reveal Commander Winslow. He gets up from the cot they set him down upon and his stuntman starts a fistfight with Matt (or Husky…you know the drill).
Winslow, brandishing his pistol, manages to shoot one of the goons…whose reaction is to leap out of the window and start running real fast the way Gilligan used to whenever his ass was on fire. While Don fires a shot after Gilligan, the other guy starts tearing out the front and Don goes after him…firing two more shots, and missing him both times. (I’m beginning to think the safest place in the world is standing in front of Don Winslow when he fires off a few rounds.)
So he grabs Mercedes, telling her “We’ve got to get to the
car before they do.” But Matt and Hunky
aren’t interested in transportation—Lord knows to where they’ve run off, but as
our hero and his best girl arrive at the auto, he demonstrates he’s a
glass-half-full kinda guy. “Even if my
scheme did fail to get me into The
Scorpion’s hideout—we learned about the smelter,” he brags, as they get into
the car. “There may be time to save it!”
Don drops Mercedes off before continuing to drive to the
smelter because, you know, helpless girl.
“Have Red and Mike come to the smelter as fast as they can!” he
instructs her. Personally, I’d take my
chances having Mercedes along than sending for those two bozos. The scene then shifts, and to the strain of Fingal’s Cave Overture we see…
…the smelter. (Dun-dun-DUN!!!) The camera then pans up a little to show us the chimley—the target for the explosives being planted by Prindle, Corley and Spike. Prindle and Corey check the connections on the plunger, and then Prindle announces they’ll “have a last look at that charge.”
As Don ducks behind a shed to keep from being seen, Prindle
and Corey have entered the chimney where Spike is readying the dynamite.
SPIKE: Sure!
PRINDLE: All right…that hole’s deep
enough…let it alone…
(As the three men continue their
deviltry, Don slowly makes his way to the outside of the chimney)
PRINDLE: Don’t pack that dynamite in pretty solid…you lose a lot of its force…this explosion has to be just right to smash this building and cripple the power plant…
CORLEY: What makes you so sure this
chimney is gonna fall the way you want it to?
PRINDLE: Everything depends on how
the dynamite’s placed…with the charge on this side, it can’t fall in any
direction except towards the smelter…on the opposite side, it’ll fall toward
the kiln…
SPIKE: Well, I put it just like you
told me…
Spike and Corley see Don running up to the cabin, and our hero bursts through the door, yelling at Prindle to get away from the plunger. And then something beautiful happens. He trips and falls on it himself, setting off the charge. The three men shoot out of the shed, with Corley looking up as the chimney starts to crumble. “It’ll fall on us if we don’t get out of the way!”
The chimney falls, apparently on top of the shed where Don Winslow, Klutz of the Navy, lies on the ground…and the ceiling falls in on him again for the second week in a row. Normally, there would be a screen capture here telling you to be back next week for Chapter 5…but on this DVD of the serial, that notice has gone AWOL. So instead, I will tell you to return to Serial Saturdays next week for “Trapped in the Dungeon!”
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